Jesmaine's Point Of View
Today once more I am locked up in a castle like a bird in a gilded cage. I have an entire wing at the castle for myself like a huge luxury apartment, and maids there to get me anything I need and watch over me. There is always guards outside my room, and I even have at least two tattletale ghostly handmaidens that tell Jacques what I do and when I try to sneak off. It isn't an understatement to say there is an entire security team dedicated to 'keep me safe'... when actually they're just there to keep me from running off.
After Jacques had demanded my hand in marriage two years ago, he also demanded that I was relocated from my family to the castle. It was practically kidnapping. It wasn't really out of the blue though, since he had always insisted to escort me around for parties and even burst into conversations I had with other girls in private. He probably had ghostly spies stalk me even back then.
On the day that I was to leave for the castle my mother had hugged me close. When I was first reborn into Headal I was worried everyone were going to be mean or entitled with how Jesmaine had been in the story and Headal had been evil, lying and warmongering.
They were all really kind. It was a warm family and my two new older brothers always made me smile. In turn I'd make things for them and they always lit up in smiles when I gave them handmade presents. Father and mother did too. They always praised my cooking as well when I snuck down into the kitchen to bake for them. They were warm and kind, and our tea parties were always pleasant. Mother even read fairytales for me until I turned ten. The original Jesmaine loved them.
I had not been ready to leave them, but it was politics. It would be good for our family and you couldn't say no to royalty.
My mother had smiled at me with tears in her eyes, saying everything would be alright. She told me over and over to get along with the crown prince and said he'd make sure I had a good life ahead of me. My father had this look of relief for most of the time, and only spoke to me harshly once as he told me not to get on the crown prince's bad side. Both of my older brothers had nodded and told me to be a good wife... but there is no way I was ready for that, especially not with someone that is practically a stalker throwing accusations at others to make himself look good.
Whenever he broke into a conversation between me and someone else it was always with the excuse that they had been trying to use me, and since he was the prince they always lowered their head and scurried off.
I lost more friends than I've had in my previous life because of him. After the accusations they would always stay away from me, and some would even give small nasty looks. He isolated me... and now I am locked up in this gilded cage called a castle.
—-*—-
At the castle, every handmaiden has been fully vetted and carefully chosen to the point they felt nervous about being around me, and I think the guards were the same. I know this because I managed to make friends with one of the maids and she told me about it. Getting the position was for them a very honorable post and very important politically as well. My handmaidens has been chosen by their pedigree, their loyalty, their habits and their personality... and even now the maids are still patted down by the head maid every morning.
It's obsessive.
No matter how you look at it, this isn't normal. They had me isolated and quickly prevented me from leaving my wing of the castle. I am not even allowed outdoors unless I can convince all the guards it is a good idea, or ask Jacques.
That's right, the only time I get to leave is with him. Security lightens and Jacques always stays a few steps near me. It's like being a dog on a leash. He used to come by once a day and stayed for about an hour. That was all. My hobbies may be handicrafts and cooking, but being locked up for so long will eventually drive you mad. Recently I'm not allowed to visit my parents either, and both of my brothers are off to the war...
Whenever I asked why in the past or said that this security wasn't reasonable Jacques and the guards would say it was prevent assassination attempts from Ristaze. They still keep this act up even now.
—-*—-
In the game Headal was hated for their attacks and wars without reason, and it didn't take long from after I was reincarnated to find out that the people of Headal detested Ristaze. Be it nobles or commoners, their faces scrunch up in disgust at the name. They call them corrupt, ignorant, selfish and self-serving. It was shocking to me that even the commoners agreed to this.
I tried to suggest that they were being too hostile and that they should give them a chance, but it didn't matter. At this point I've no choice but to accept that Jacques and his father must be using propaganda.
So, I've tried my best to lessen the hatred from this side... but it doesn't seem to help much. I've reminded Jacques many times to be a kind and good ruler and to be honest... but he always brushes me off with crossed arms and a sullen irritated look. At first he kept lying, saying he was, but the last few years he has just ignored my words.
I went to Ristaze's academy after I ran off. It was a plan I had made carefully, since my guard detail is always observant. I set it into motion after I'd convinced Jacques that I wanted to visit my parents. So that is probably why he is now even more insistent on not letting me out of the castle.
I knew Jacques would be angry with me for running off, but I couldn't let it turn out as war, like it ended up doing in the game. If I acted nicely and made friends with Claire, then Headal wouldn't be seen as evil and destroyed, that was my hope.
It is terrifying to both watch and hear the hatred people at the castle and near the border had for Ristaze. I feared that even if I convinced Claire we weren't evil, we might still attack them. Thankfully the exchange students I met at the academy were all more understanding than anyone in the castle had ever been, and they all did their best to make friends with future traders... but Jacques forced me back to Headal and back to this gilded cage before Claire ended up with Alstair, thus leaving our fate uncertain. Of all the times Jacques had to play his ore-sama card this was the worst time, so when he met me in my room I decided to confront him once and for all about Ristaze.
That was a couple months ago.
—-*—-
A couple of months ago
I'd just been escorted back to my castle wing and made to change out of the academy uniform and back into a cream colored sleek summer dress.
The sun shone brilliantly outside and on any other day I might have taken the time to enjoy it, but my feelings were a mess. My plans had been ruined because of Jacques' selfishness and we might end up going to war.
I don't know if Helena or Claire will be safe either, because so many things are going wrong and are so different from what they were supposed to be. The students from Crinia and Semor weren't supposed to get involved with Claire or Alstair at all, and the Crinia Princess didn't go to the academy which is probably my fault since I talk with her every year.
There is a light knock on the door. I know just from the knock that it is Jacques. It's lighter than the guards' and the maids usually just walk in since I asked them not to knock.
I feel the knot in my chest spread and explode in an instant as I walk to the door and find him standing outside. He looks sullen and his violet eyes try to hide a bitter bitter look. He usually does this whenever he thinks I've done something wrong, but he doesn't start out by saying anything this time. I do. I've had enough!
"Why did you force me back here?!"
I know his answer already. The same old insincere story.
"We are going to war with Ristaze. Every citizen had to be withdrawn from the country to avoid political prisoners."
My stomach sinks, my chest aches and my eyes begin to burn.
"Why?! I was working hard on making peace so why do you have to ruin it and go to war with them?!"
No... no... at this rate everything will go as it did in the story. People are going to die even though there had been a chance at stopping it. My brothers are both near the battlefield. My father is the main contributor. They will all die. My handmaidens are nobles as well.
Jacques' violet eyes show only pity for me.
"Ristaze is not someone you can make peace with, Jesmaine," he 'explains' to me calmly and looks at me as though I'm helpless. I feel helpless, but I do want to be lied to anymore. Even though my eyes burn with frustration and tears start spilling I am going to confront him properly this time.
"You can! That is a lie! Their prince is kind and reasonable and would listen to reason! He would listen to the person he likes, and I was making friends with her! We could have had peace if you didn't get in the way by treating me as your property and a prisoner as usual and decided to be a warmonger. Compared to the kind Alstair you're a villain!"
Jacques' eyes widens at my words. It's the first time I've seen him dumbstruck, but I suppose that is what happens when you get found out. Everyone around us look shocked as well, one of the handmaidens even covers her mouth.
Jacques composure crumbles and his hands tighten into fists. I see him snap a breath while his shocked look crumbles and twists into anger.
"I've been trying to protect you!" He snaps back. It's the first time he ever raised it voice.
"You're just keeping me from running away! Ristaze wouldn't try to assassinate me, I haven't done something bad other than being near you."
He doesn't budge a bit, but he stops moving for a moment and presses his lips together while clenching his jaw.
"Why do you refuse to believe me, Jesmaine?"
He asks me that in a bated breath, but his words seem cold.
"Aren't you the one who refuses to believe in me or listen to me?! Not even once have you trusted me with something. Not even not running off," I respond in frustration. At my words he goes silent. He looks away from me and pulls away. His gaze falls upon the guard by the door.
"Make sure she doesn't leave her wing until I return from the front line. We are on full alert."
He doesn't intend on answering my question and turns to leave.
"Jacques!" I step out of the room. I want answers. I don't want to be locked up here and wait for people to die.
One of the guards step between us, and a couple of the handmaidens grasp my hands.
The last words I yell at him come out in anger and desperation.
"I won't forgive you for this!"
A bad end.
—-*—-
Present
That was about two months ago. The guard is tight here, and even the musicians that used to play in the garden once in a while have stopped. The rest of the castle seems quiet as though nothing is there anymore.
Even King Philippe's booming voice has gone quiet recently. He's a rather spiteful and violent man, so you can usually hear his voice echo quietly in the background when you walk through the hallways.
I haven't spoken with Jacques since the incident, and the handmaidens don't seem to dare bringing it up either... so we talk about the academy and my family. About Helena and about Claire. Even about Bridgette that tried to join us for a while before she got bored of us.
There's a heavy knock on the door.
"Milady, you have a guest."
The guard's declaration was something I hadn't really heard before. They didn't let people into my private chambers.
Is it Jacques?... but he usually knocks on the door on his own.
"...come in..." I call back and straighten a bit in the chaiselong I am sitting on and gently clench my fists on my lap. My stomach feels tense. My mother perhaps?
The door opens, and a girl with now shoulder long dark ginger hair peeks in. Her brown eyes light up with tears.
"Helena?"
I have no idea how she got there, or what she has had to go through, but for an instant I couldn't be happier. I get up and for the first time in months I hug her close.