Berlin was great, but it was time to move on and go to Milan for our next show. We were eating breakfast when my phone rang. I saw the name, excused myself, and separated myself from the group.
'Hey, Zain! Long time! How've you been?' I asked.
'I'm good! What about you? I see you're enjoying yourself!'
'I'm great yeah! You've been checking the news I see!' I teased.
'Only because you're too busy to text me and I miss you!'
'Hey! I text you! Just not as much as I'd like it. They're always around. I still don't know how to deal with it. It would be so much easier if all of you would be on good terms again.'
'Yeah... I don't know if how that could work. Anyway! I'm actually calling for a reason!'
'You mean besides the fact that you miss me and can't live without me?' I teased.
He chuckled and replied, 'Well, believe it or not. I'm in the neighbourhood.'
'What? How? Why?'
'I've been invited to the Milan Fashion Week. And I have to go, and I kinda need a plus 1. Would you like to come with me?' He asked.
'I'd love to, but I should probably check with the band first? I don't want more problem.'
'Alright. I'll be waiting for a call or text. Thank you! Take care!' He hung up.
I took a deep breath, rejoining the group.
'Umm, can I ask you guys something?'
'Of course, love!' Louis said.
'Umm... Well, there's this event in the city. And we have a day off after the show, and I was asked if I wanted to come along. And I kinda want to.'
'You don't have to ask us for permission! You can do whatever you want!' Liam reassured.
'I kinda do. The person who wants me to go with him. It's umm... It's Zain.'
'Zayn?' Liam asked and I nodded.
After a moment of silence, since I didn't get any response, I assumed they want to say no. So I went to my bunk and closed the curtains behind me. And texted Zayn.
'Hey, look I'm sorry. I don't think it's gonna be possible.'
'Did you talk to them? Did they actually say no?'
'Well, they didn't say anything. I just assumed they want to say no but can't.'
'At least you didn't fight. Right?'
'I guess. But them not saying anything is scarier than fighting. It's like when you throw a grenade and it doesn't explode but it could at any second so you just freeze. You can't move, you can't do anything. Just waiting for the explosion.'
'I like that metaphor! Can I use it?' He texted.
'What for?'
'A song. I'm writing my new album. I'm still a couple of songs short.'
'Oh, well yeah, of course, you can use it! But you'll have to credit me!'
'Of course!'
'Wait no, I'm kidding! I don't know, it might do some damages. I honestly don't really understand those stuff.' I replied.
'I'll see what I can do. But try talking to them. The silent treatment thing is for children. We're all adults here.'
'I will. I'll text you later.'
I went back to where the boys were sitting. I sat next to Harry, resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arm around him. He gently pushed me off and went to the little kitchen part to get a banana.
'Really? Wow! Look, guys. I asked for a reason! I asked because I knew you might say no! I needed to make sure. I could've gone there without even checking on you. But I wouldn't do that! Cause I care about you, and your feelings. I don't want to hurt you. I would've been fine if you said no. This whole silent thing is not healthy!'
'Okay, we don't like you hanging out with him!' Louis said.
'Alright. Why?' Another moment of silence went by, I added. 'I'm not fighting you on this. I'm just asking you to give me a reason.'
'There isn't a rational reason honestly. We're just scared that the more you hang out with him, the more you'd want to leave the band like he did.' Niall confessed.
'Umm, we're two different people, he wasn't comfortable with the type of music you were making. But I am. I love the music we're making. And, I'm not interested in a solo career. I thought you already know all that!' I explained.
'We do. Like Niall said it's not reasonable. Zayn is a nice guy, you should be able to hang out with him if you want to. We'll work on our issues. It shouldn't hold you back like that. I don't know about them but I'm sorry we made you feel like you can't be friends with him.' Liam expressed.
'Thank you, Liam! Guys?' I asked.
'Yeah, I guess it's not as bad as we pictured it.' Niall affirmed.
'Alright, do what you want. We'll try to be nice about it.' Louis said.
'Harry?' I asked concerned since he hasn't said anything at all. He just got up and left.
'Should I follow him or wait till he cools off?' I turned to the guys for advice.
'I'll go talk to him.' Niall suggested.
'No, I'll go mate. If it's a jealousy thing, it might backfire in your face. He's still a bit sensitive about you and Niall kissing.' Liam decided.
Half an hour later, Liam came back in, without Harry.
'Liam? Where's Harry?' I cried running to the door checking if he was anywhere in sight.
'He's okay, he just went for a walk.'
'Did he tell you what's wrong?' I asked, failing at holding my tears back.
'It's just what I thought. He's worried he'll take you away from him because it's easier to be with Zayn than to be with him.' Liam mumbled.
'But I don't want to be with Zain! Neither does he! He's too busy thinking about someone else anyway! We're just friends. I don't care about easy! I want Harry! Only Harry!' I sobbed, falling back into the sofa, as Niall held me tight, letting cry into his chest.
'I told him all that. He knows all that. He just needed to cool down, because he doesn't want to fight again.' Liam explained.
'Again? You've been fighting Cas'?' Louis asked.
'It's nothing serious. We solved it. Or so I thought I don't know.'
'What did you fight about?' Niall asked.
'Silly things, like my twitter obsession or whatever, and thinking too much or not enough about our future. But it wasn't bad fights, we made up immediately after. I didn't think it's that bad.'
'Well, you're probably right. He just gets paranoid sometimes. He'll be okay just give him some time.'
I didn't see Harry until practice in the afternoon. I knocked on the door of his dressing room and let myself in.
'Not now Cas'!' He said glumly.
'If not now when Harry?' I pressured.
'Until I'm not fu-' He started shouted but then gathered himself and continued calmly. 'Until I'm not angry anymore.'
I didn't say anything, I just walked to him and hugged him, letting his head rest on my shoulders as he cried.
'Better?' I asked hopefully when he calmed down.
'I don't want to lose you Cas'! I can't lose you!'
'Harry, you're not gonna lose me!'
'You don't know that!' He stressed, 'I mean there's a reason why you haven't even thought of our future. What if we can't get married, you know because of our differences. The kind you don't have with him. That's what scares me the most.'
'Harry! For the millionth time, I don't want to be with him! And about the other issue. I'm sure when the time comes, we'll find a way around it. There's always a solution. Harry I don't want to lose you either. I promise we'll find something.'
'Alright. I'm sorry. I love you!' He said, putting a kiss on my forehead.