Katherine Gray stood at the front door of Rosforte Castle with the rest of her family. They were gathered to bid farewell to Simon as he started out on his quest to explore the world. With teary goodbyes and well-wishes behind them they waved him away, watching the carriage that carried him shrink into the distance and disappear around the bend. Kat and her mother consoled each other saying how happy he would be in his adventures, that he would be back before they knew it and he had promised to write regularly.
She couldn't help but feel, in the weeks following, how her heart had begun to feel as empty as the halls she now wandered. Passing windows in her aimless roaming she watched the trees fade to gold and crispy orange as an early autumn blew in.
Kat was thrilled when the residents of Rosforte finally received word from Betsey that she was returning home, and with a guest who would follow a day later. A very thick letter she had included for Katherine, and it was taken away privately to be read. In it Betsey divulged who her guest was and the reason behind their coming.
I recall, she led, in one of your previous letters you mentioned a fear that I may need to make a difficult choice between Mr Sebastien Gray and the Mr Rook we have mentioned on occasion. It may have been bad of me not to keep you informed dearest, but do not be angry for I will fill you in now. I did have to make a choice, but it was not so difficult as you imagined. Once they both asked, which they did within days of each other, the choice became quite clear. Let me begin again with more detail. A fortnite ago I was with a walking party at Vauxhall Gardens, Mr Gray was in attendance – I must pause to say, Kat, next time you are in London you must visit Vauxhall, and Mama must see it as well. It is astonishingly beautiful. - While we were in the Rotunda, Mr Gray took me aside and asked if I would walk with him privately. I accepted, and as we separated from the group the realization came to me that – at least in part – your prediction was coming true.
He spoke very well, a heartfelt speech, and I was sincerely moved, I felt I could be very happy if I said yes but I did not say it. He noticed my hesitation and allowed me time to think on the matter. I assured him I would not suffer him to wait, but that I wanted to be sure, in my heart, that there was no one but him.
That night I had settled I would accept him and I was happy with my decision but, Oh Kat, the next day as I sat to write my answer I was suddenly so violently uncertain I was nearly ill! I must have paced my room for hours; I couldn't understand why, I loved him, of that I was sure, so then why could I not say yes?? A maid told me someone had come to call on me, but I was in such a state mind and felt so awfully ill, I told her to send them away until the next day. I was frantic, almost dramatic I'm ashamed to say, I even prayed for an answer or sign. It was a rather wasted day and I determined to be more rational the next and went to bed early to rest my spinning mind.
I was much clearer the next day, and I had begun to consider the idea that maybe I was having a case of the nerves and was merely afraid of change; in any case, I knew without a doubt that I did Love Mr Gray. I felt calmer with that realization, and after finally writing the letter to Mr Sebastien Gray accepting his hand, I placed it in the box for the man to take it to the post later that day.
What follows, dear Kat, is the happiest moment of my life, followed by the most terrifying.
The caller from the day before returned, it was Mr Rook. I was elated to see him, as usual. He asked after my health. I was much better, thank you. He commented it looked like we were to have an early autumn. I agreed. He grew silent and fidgeted. I grew equally amused and curious.
After a moment he asked when I though I would be heading home and I replied 'to my knowledge, three weeks hence.' I will quote our conversation as best as I can remember, here you have it.
'I see, you have enjoyed your time in London?' asked he.
'I have, so much so I hardly wish to leave' said I.
Tentatively he -'what do you feel you will miss most?'
'The people, my friends, I will loath to leave you all'.
He seemed to smile at that a little and began to say something but stopped himself; I, of course, coaxed him to speak his mind (you know how I love when he does so). 'I do not look kindly on that day' said he finally 'there is no day I dread more than the day you will leave me.'
Oh Kat, my heavens, the quiet way he said it, the shy look on his beautiful face and the sweet puppy eyes he slid my way...I never knew what it felt to have one's heart skip a beat until that day; I swallowed it I'm sure.
Katherine laughed outright at that and quickly carried on reading.
With that said, he seemed to have acquired the courage to continue and went on to express – with a great deal of discomfort and stuttering – how if it were possible he would keep me with him forever, and then proceeded he meant by my own free will, then growing redder in the face saying he'd had a lovely speech prepared before he had set eyes me and his thoughts scattered with the wind.
I was, as you can probably guess, thoroughly delighted by his adorably bumbling and flustered proposal and utterly besotted. He finished – after a brief pause and an abashed brushing of fingers through hair – by stating with a sardonic smile that if I accepted him 'after that atrocity of a proposal' there could be no truer love.
I agreed (most successfully holding back my laughter, I hope). His face expressed he did not know how to proceed. 'Miss Wheaton, please.' said he, looking as though he was fortifying his heart, which in turn nearly broke mine, 'say someth..' and I said yes.
I was just as surprised as he Kat, I didn't notice I was speaking the word until it was fully out of my mouth! Then he asked me if I was sure and serious and I repeated yes for I knew then in my heart I was. Then we sat both of us in shocked silence for quite a long few seconds and then I did a very forward thing I'm sure you'll be very disapproving of this but I kissed him then.
And then I recalled the letter to Sebastien.
Katherine then also recalled the letter to Mr Gray and let out a cry of dismay, anxiously reading on.
I'm sorry to say I abandoned him, my poor dearest Mr Rook, but he is a good sport and has forgiven me for it. Once I saw the letter gone and heard a man had just taken it away I went after it like a wild thing. I've never ran harder in my life and I am glad I passed no one I knew, to my knowledge.
I managed to reach Mr Gray's townhouse as the letter was being passed to his footman. I snatched it from his hand and to my horror heard the voice of the man himself behind me. I began to tell him right there, wheezing like anything, that I could not marry him; but thankfully he had the wisdom to stop me and escort me into the privacy of the house.
He had me rest and drink some water before sitting us down and hearing me out once I was rested and calm. He said he guessed what my answer would be, that if he were the one for me I would not have needed to think about it. I feel sorry for him, I do not like to be the cause of someone's pain, I hope he is not deeply hurt and will soon find someone who is well suited for him and can love him as he deserves. I told him so, and assured him we will always be friends and I will always love him, as a brother, which is most likely not comforting to him at the present....but enough of that.
Now you know and I feel a weight is lifted. I want Mama and Papa and everyone to meet him before it is announced, that is why I am bringing him home with me; also he would like the opportunity to officially speak with Papa. I asked Mr Routley if he would allow Rook to stay at Norcastle for a week as I am not sure how proper it would be for him to stay at Rosforte and Norcastle is closest. I was a little uncomfortable asking but Mr Routley was most accommodating.
Katherin smiled to herself "I will have to thank him."
I'm sure you heard when I am to arrive from my letter to the house. I miss you terribly and cannot wait to see you and Cecilia and Mama and Papa and Miss Compton and everyone else. I assume Simon will have left by the time I arrive and I am so sorry I missed him. I am so very much in love Kat, I cannot wait to be married. I digress.
Much Love, and see you soon,
Bet
Betsey Wheaton was to arrive two days hence. Her room was dusted and refreshed and other was prepared in anticipation of her guest, and on the day all her family waited to meet her (or nearly all, for Simon was currently at sea speeding toward Rome). She was expert in deflecting conversation away from the guest who was to arrive the next day; the only information she provided was that the guest would be staying at Norcastle, at which point it was rightly suspected that the guest was a gentleman, not a lady as was expected. Katherine observed John take Betsey and Eliza aside at one point during the evening, and she knew by the joyous expression on Betsey's face what news had been divulged.
"There are too many great developments these days!" laughed Katherine Gray to her mother as they sat together a little way from the rest. "I am overwhelmed!"
"I know what you mean. Simon is off exploring the world. I assume Celia has told you her happy news by now, married and with child within a year...and John now to marry.."
"Oh good they told you, I despise keeping secrets from you."
"They did." her mother laughed "I wonder a little if this 'guest' of Betsey's is more than she is letting on. I suspect this guest will be asking for a private audience with your father, and I would not be surprised if it were Mr Sebastien Gray. Mrs Gray told me there seemed to be quite an attachment forming between them."
"Oh! I am certain you wrong in that at least. It cannot be Mr Gray, Betsey speaks of him in her letters as she would speak of John and Simon. If she has reached an formed an attachment with anyone, I assure you it is not with Mr Gray."
"Well if you say so, you know your sister well."
"How quiet it will be once John and Bet are married and in their own homes. It will be just four of us. You and I, and Papa and Lady Compton. I am so used to a routine and simple life, and I'm sure you and Papa feel the same, and now the kindness of our self-proclaimed Aunt has thrown us into a life in which no day is the same as the last."
"Everything does seem to be moving quickly and changing constantly. We have lived at Rosforte for nearly two years and I am still not used to it. I feel I will be forever overwhelmed."
"Two years." Katherine sighed. "It feels as though three times that has passed."