Hello everyone ! Will keep this short and sweet because it's late af and wanted to just get this up tonight
Song of the chapter is "I Can't Make You Love Me / Nick of Time" by Bon Iver
Chapter 37
Connor POV
"Connor," Kiara breathed as she rushed over to me. She grabbed my hand with both of hers and held it to her cheek. I wanted so badly to brush my fingers down her face, to hook her hair behind her ear, to do anything, but my entire body felt super heavy and weird. My stomach felt like it was on fire, but I knew better not to mess with it.
Our faces were inches apart, and I could stare straight into her grey eyes. They were quickly filling up with tears, and before I could say anything else she slumped over on the hospital bed and started to sob. My hand fell to the top of her head as she cried.
"Connor," she sobbed again. "I thought you were gone." My heart stung painfully at the sight of her. She was trembling, and as I mustered the strength to move my hand to rub her back, I could feel the sharpness of her shoulder blades. She was heartbreaking to watch, but she was so beautiful. I wouldn't ever look away. She was still muttering something incoherent into the blanket, and I felt an ache in my chest that rivaled the bullet wound in my stomach.
"It's okay," I breathed, feeling frustrated that I wasn't able to say more. I felt winded as I said, "It's okay, baby." Sounded like I was drunk or something. She lifted her head to look up at me, eyes swollen and red. She grabbed my hand again and kissed all of my knuckles, then my palm, then placed it near her cheek once again. I could tell she was being fragile with me, but I wanted none of that. "C'mere," I said. If I couldn't have the strength to say what I wanted to right now, I'd fucking show her.
She leaned in slowly, with caution, until she finally placed her lips on mine. Lightly, like she didn't want me to move an inch. I tangled my hand in her hair and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss and taking her by surprise. I think she finally forgot where we were for a minute, because she moaned in the back of her throat and gripped my bicep. Our mouths were moving in sync, and I thought, This. This is worth every minute of pain.
When she pulled away, we were both breathing heavily. My hand dropped onto the bed on its own accord, and I sunk into the pillows. "Damn," I breathed.
She chuckled, and I smiled, knowing I still could make her laugh. Even in this situation.
I felt a little more clear headed than when I just woke up. "Kiara," I said. Her eyes filled up again, and I cursed myself for making her this upset. What had happened while I was out? "What happened?"
"You don't remember?" she whispered. I shook my head.
"I remember the fight. I remember that I was shot. By Saxton. How am I not dead? I remember I killed Nick because he..." I trailed off, recognition hitting me like a ton of bricks. "Nick - he shot Chase. Where's Chase, is he okay?"
She didn't even have to say anything. The slump of her shoulders gave it away. "Oh god," I muttered. "No, that couldn't have happened. He was here, we talked, and-" I was so fucking confused. He was here.
"Shh, Connor." She glanced at the heart rate monitor beside my bed, noticing the faster beeping. "You're going to rip your stitches. We should probably call the doctor in here, anyway." She looked at the glass door, and I could tell she thought about walking out. Funny, I wasn't letting her out of my sight.
I squeezed her hand and she focused her attention back on me. "What's going on?" I felt like there was something she wasn't telling me, something she thought I couldn't handle.
She took a deep breath before wiping her eyes. "I just don't want to overwhelm you. But, um. Chase was shot, and there was nothing they could do to save him. Then you were shot, and my entire world was falling apart. I mean, you've been unconscious in this hospital for a week and a half, and for most of that time we didn't know if you were going to make it or not, and then Chase was gone and Lauren has no one now, and God Connor you should have seen how lost she was. I mean, all I could think about was how sad I am for her and I tried my best to prepare myself for what would happen if -"
"Okay," I cut her off before she started to hyperventilate. I cupped my hand around her face, brushing my thumb against her bottom lip as it trembled. "I'm okay, everything's okay," I said slowly. "God, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this."
She shook her head, causing a few tears to slip down her cheeks. "I just. I can't do this without you."
I pulled her even closer, and she kissed my lips lightly. "You don't have to. I'm right here," I said. We stayed there for a little while, our foreheads pressed together and our mate bond going crazy until she finally stopped shaking. I was feeling my strength coming back little by little, and now I could practically sit up.
The sound of the glass door being opened brought us out of our trance. Kiara's head shot up, and she rushed over to the doctor.
"Dr. Holtman, he's awake! Please check on him, is everything okay?" I wanted to laugh that now she's the overprotective mate, but I settled for meeting her gaze with a smile.
The doctor chuckled and walked over to my bedside. "It's nice to formally meet you, Connor Kane. We've been waiting for you to wake for a long time."
"Thank you, sir," I said graciously. For saving my life. For making sure Kiara wouldn't live a shell of a life without a mate. For making sure we had a future.
"For the future Alpha of this pack? Of course." My chest ached once again. While I still desperately wanted to be in Kiara's life, I hadn't thought about the choices I had made and how they'd affect my future in this pack. Would anyone even want me to be Alpha after all of this? I doubted it.
Kiara held my gaze the entire time the doctor was checking my vitals. I could practically feel her sense of relief whenever he would give a small head nod or mutter something like, "looks good." I was grateful that he was making sure I was okay, but part of me wanted him out of here so I could hold Kiara. I thought I'd never be able to feel her again. Which reminded me...
"How am I not dead?" I interjected. I mean, I knew those bullets. I grew up with those bullets. They were fool proof, 100% fatal. It didn't make any sense.
The doctor looked at Kiara, and she nodded once. Weird. "It was a very touch-and-go surgery, but we were able to transfuse your poisoned blood and stop it from spreading to your organs. It had already demolished your liver, however. But by a work of fate, I believe, the liver was the one organ that was salvageable from your friend Chase. With his family's permission, we were able to do a complete transplant."
I was at a loss for words. Chase's liver? How was that possible? "But," I hesitated, feeling weak again. "The poison should've killed me long before a transplant would even be possible. I've seen those bullets, sir. They work fast."
"Yes, I agree, which is why we were curious as well. My team and I did a blood test to see how you were able to fight off the poison so well. And it turns out, Mr. Kane, that you have a fair amount of Alpha blood running through those veins of yours." He smiled at me, almost in awe. I wanted to laugh in his face, despite the situation we were in.
I settled for a "What?"
"Connor," Kiara said. I turned my head to face her. She had tears in her eyes, but she was smiling softly at me. "The hunters never had the chance to test those bullets on an Alpha before. Until now."
Holy shit. Was this some sort of joke? There was no way I could possibly be an Alpha.
"You're sure?" I asked the doctors.
He nodded, still smiling. "Blood tests don't lie."
"An Alpha," I breathed, still not quite believing it.
Kiara POV
Now that I remembered it, I could always feel the power radiating off of him. The way he stood, so strong and sure. And right now, even when he's at his weakest, there's an aura of strength surrounding him. One that feels familiar to me as I grew up hearing about great Alpha's of our past.
Connor's eyebrows were knitted together in concentration as he took in the news. The doctor was answering his many questions about the blood test, finally wrapping up his check in.
"You're going to heal slower than a werewolf would," he told Connor. "But it already looks like it's healing like it's supposed to. I should expect you here for a couple more days, a week at most." My body sagged in relief as he exited with a smile.
I had texted my parents that Connor was awake, so that they could notify the pack. I knew that they were quickly on their way back to the hospital and that my mom would fawn all over him with pillows and heated blankets. My dad, on the other hand, would probably be more reserved. Cautious. But he saved his life, and that had to count for something.
"How are you feeling?" I asked Connor. "Do you need water or anything?" Yup, that was the Lynn Everhart in me talking.
He shook his head and held out his hand. He was gazing at me with half-lidded green eyes, and he looked sinfully beautiful. Even broken as he was, he was captivating. "C'mere," he said again.
My heart panged as I remembered that was what he said to me before passing out in the ambulance, right before I thought my whole world was ripped away. He didn't know what that word carries for me. Instead, I walked over to him and leaned down by his bedside. I let him curl his hand around my head as I laid my chin on my forearms. Our faces were inches apart again.
"No," he said. "Come sleep here."
My blood froze. In the bed? "Connor, no - " I started.
"It'll be fine, Kiara. I'll move over a little, see?" He shifted a tiny bit in the bed, and tried not to wince. But I could see it in his eyes that he was in pain.
"We can't share this bed, I'm going to hurt you," it took everything in me to say. I felt a lump in my throat at the thought of refusing him when all I wanted was to curl up next to him and feel his arms around me. "You just woke up and I'm going to mess up all of those wires, and something's going to happen -"
"Kiara," he said sternly, shutting me up. "When I was laying there on that battlefield, I didn't think I was going to see you ever again. Yeah, I was bleeding out from a poison bullet, but the thought that I wasn't going to live in a world with you in it was a thousand times more painful than any of this." He gestured to his stitches. "I never want to feel that pain ever again. And when I think about how terrified you looked that day, how heartbroken. Fuck, it physically hurts me. I'm looking at you now, and I know you're scared shitless about this touch-and-go healing process, but you need rest. And so do I, and I can't do that unless you're right here with me. So ignore whatever's in that beautiful head of yours telling you that I can't handle it, and get in this bed with me right now."
His eyes were glassy as they bored into mine. A little red-rimmed. So I didn't think. I just slipped off my Converse and tried to ignore his wince of pain when the hospital bed dipped with my weight. He let out a sigh when I buried my head in his neck and kissed the top of my head. I could feel his steady pulse on my cheek, and I could feel my own heartbeat slowing to match his. I didn't realize how much I needed to be closer to him, too.
"God, I missed you," he said.
I sniffed and placed my hand on his chest lightly, tracing circles with my finger tips. He grabbed my hand with his own and squeezed it tight. "I love you, Connor. I don't care if you're still exiled, don't ever leave me again," I said into his neck.
He chuckled. "I love you too. More than anything."
We laid there for a few moments, and I felt myself almost drifting off before a wave of pain and sadness came over me.
"It should've been me," I muttered weakly.
"No," Connor responded, sounding instantly alert. "Don't ever say that. I don't know what I'd do if you were in this position, If I could've lost you." I broke out into a fresh round of sobs, my breath hitching loudly. I gripped his shirt, trying not to jostle him too much. "Kiara," he said softly. "Hey, Kiara, it's okay. Baby, I'm here."
"It should've been me," I choked out again. "The first time. Not Chase. I would've lived, my Alpha blood would've saved me. It should've been me, and he'd be alive."
I felt his entire body stiffen before he spoke. "We don't know that, Kiara. It could've been where the bullet hit first on me that made it easier for me to fight it off. Kiara, look at me." I looked up with watery eyes. I was shaking now, probably hurting his sore body. His jaw was tense as he said, "We don't know where it would've hit you. It could've hit something vital, had you dead in a split second. If Chase hadn't stepped in, who knows what would've happened. You can't think like that, please don't think like that."
I nodded, but I still felt this immense sense of survivors guilt that was eating me up inside. I let out one last sob before burying myself back into the warmth that was Connor. I inhaled deeply and felt him rubbing small circles on my back.
I felt so grateful for my mate that I could keep crying for days, but I managed to pull myself together and finally relax enough to fall asleep. Connor's even breathing and close proximity definitely helped my body return from the constant fight or flight mode it's been in for the past week and a half. Before I fully drifted off, I thought of Chase, smiling at us from wherever he was. It felt like he was here, watching us somehow.
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Note: This book is NOT over!!! Close, though :(
Thinking of writing a new story.. description coming soon and will post here!
So, what do you think will happen regarding Connor's Alpha status? Where is his family?!?
Thank you all for reading and enjoying! xx