COME BACK HOME
**
The next few days were spent in complete bliss, having cliche and loving moments, cuddled up in the hotel room bed and watching Disney movies. They caught up on each other lives, talking about everything, anything but Dalton-- which was the majority of Harry's life but Louis didn't care. He didn't want to hear it, he just wanted to be close to the younger boy and just listen to his deep, husky morning voice. He wanted to see his pretty, full pink lips move and he wanted to kiss him deeply, softly, roughly-- meaning it.
They shared a few special moments in bed but never taking it any step further. Louis wanted to take it slow this time, he wanted to make it all right-- he wanted to make it just perfect for Harry. The boy had gone through enough drama for one life time and now he deserved nothing but peace, nothing but love and care and affection from any angle that Louis could supply it to him.
Zayn and Liam were being angels, being highly supportive for them and cooking them dinner every night. One day, all four of them sat and ate together whilst keeping Niall in their thoughts and wondering what the Irish lad would do if he was here. He would definitely lighten up the mood, keep it going and keep them laughing constantly and God, Louis missed him so dearly.
They were taking each day slowly and Louis was trying to understand how hard it was going to be for Harry to heal, not forcing himself to do anything and making him feel loved as much as he could.
Until, Harry blurted out. "I'm not a child Lou, I can do things on my own."
And Louis started giving him more space, not over analysing his every move even though his eyes kept falling on Harry's self harm scars. He was glad to see there nothing too recent even though it did look a few weeks old and he tried not to dwell on it too much. There was a time for every question, a time where everything was going to make sense and all the puzzle pieces will come together once and for all.
Now, after a good and bad few days at the hotel, they were back at Louis's vacant huge house that needed to feel more homely. In the past year, this place has been subjected to nothing more than drunken nights, tears and endless sad rehearsing. He needed the place to be full of happy memories, somewhere he wouldn't dread returning home to every day and that someone was Harry.
Harry's mood had improved, just slightly and he was smiling more often now with a glisten behind his eyes which meant it wasn't fake, he was really smiling.
"You don't need to do this, I can find a place to stay." Harry argued feebly.
"Hush, child," Louis rolled his eyes, laughing as he set out the table full of breakfast for Harry. He had prepared pancakes, again with maple syrup, whipped cream and strawberries sprinkled with some powdered sugar. It looked appealing and Louis's mouth was watering from just looking at it. "Eat up now."
Louis had also discovered from the weird eating habits that Harry had developed an eating disorder over his time at Dalton's house. He hardly ate, only when forced, and ate so painfully slow like it was aching him to swallow each bite and hated on his body. Sometimes, he caught Harry staring at himself in the body and pulling back his shirt to analyse the non existent fat that was poking out from the shirt. It hurt Louis to see him doing that, for him not to realise how much Louis worshipped his tall, perfect toned legs and his amazing tummy. Harry was perfect in every shape and form and it was just gutting that he wasn't able to see that, able to pick up on it.
However, Louis didn't dare comment on it-- not now. He made it obvious that he knew but didn't dare make Harry uncomfortable or forced him to eat. Everyday, he would slyly add more to the meals, just a little more calories than Harry's daily intake and take it up slowly, gradually. It was going to be a long process, often against Harry's will but he wanted to keep Harry healthy and alive.
"You know I love you, right?" Louis inquired as he sat down right beside Harry, touching his inner thighs with one hand and using his fork to cut a piece of his pancakes off.
Harry nodded straight away, not denying or delaying it. "Of course."
"Then trust me babe and just eat, just eat whole heartedly and trust me."
Harry looked uncertain, glancing from his pancakes to Louis's expectant face and then without saying a word dug into his pancakes hesitantly. But Louis didn't mind, he didn't care as long as he was eating everything that was being given to him on his plate.
"Don't you have management meetings?" Harry asked.
"Who cares?" Louis muttered. He could forget his work for a few day, he just wanted to waste all the energy and time he had on Harry before it was too late. He wanted to shower him with affection, show him what real love was and never letting him waste another tear on Dalton.
Louis was surprised that he hadn't heard or seen of Dalton since the day he had punched his face in, and he was glad. He knew it was too good to be true that he had disappeared from their lives for good, could feel him lurking around the corner and therefore, felt like it was his duty to make sure Harry was protected.
"Lou, don't want you falling behind."
He chuckled. "It's not school, darling."
"Still! It's work, you should go in."
"Maybe, I prefer it here," Louis shrugged as he planted a kiss on Harry's soft lips, just lightly pecking them and transferring whipped cream from one lip to another.
Harry just licked it off, looking satisfied. "I prefer you here too."
"Then, don't argue with me on it."
**
The next day, they decided to do more cute coupley things and bake a cake together. Louis was terrible at any form of baking, cooking and therefore, virtually useless in the kitchen. He wasn't sure how he survived the last three years with his food, mostly relying on unhealthy, greasy takeaways and Zayn's cooking. However, he remembered that Harry was a brilliant chef and was more than glad that they were getting to spend some time together in the kitchen.
Harry had all the ingredients laid out in front of him, looking from the flour to the eggs and pouring all the right ingredients into the huge bowl. He carried on doing what he knew best, mixing it together with the electrical mixer and Louis felt good for nothing. He just kept watching, admiring Harry doing what he knew best.
"You bake the best cakes, I remember," Louis spoke up, breaking Harry's train of thought.
Harry didn't even look back at Louis who was leaning against the kitchen counter, minding his own business. He kept his head down, bowed over the bowl as he mixed religiously and his tongue poked out in concentration.
"Hmmm.." Harry managed to get out, too focused on baking the best he could just for Louis.
Louis rolled his eyes, wanting to catch Harry's attention but wasn't sure how so he stood there lazily. "When will it be done?"
"When it's baked."
"When will it be baked?"
"Ssh Lou," Harry complained. "Let the master work."
"Master, okay," Louis scoffed, laughing lightly but smiling ever so fondly because they were having banter, they were having good times-- and he had missed this so much. He had missed just able to forget the world, forgetting everyone else and just focusing on what mattered here and now. He hadn't even realised what he was missing out on, for so long and he wished he had the balls to claim what was his back in sixth form. Instead of walking away on results day, he should've kissed Harry and opened his cowardly mouth.
Harry didn't respond, working away and then trying to transfer the batter into the tin. "Can you help me babe?" He asked.
Louis nodded, instantly standing up and making his way over to him. He stood right behind him, bringing his arms under Harry's, holding the bowl over Harry's hands and smiling contently. This position felt good, his chest against Harry's back and so close, so intimiate and he wanted nothing more to stay in this position.
"Sure thing babe," he responded, teasing.
"Dickhead." Harry muttered but laughed anyway, trying to move his hand but being immobile because of the smaller hands holding his against the bowl.
Louis lightly let go, coming back to Harry's waist and forgetting his pleas to help him put the batter evenly into the tin. Instead, he started to slowly tickle Harry's sides, remembering exactly where it got to him most and gently avoiding his bruised areas.
Harry groaned out loud between his laughs. As much as he was ticklish, he found it torture and hated it. "No, don't you dare!" He warned, closing his eyes in distress and trying to push Louis away as much as he could.
Louis just smiled fondly, tickling him full on before he was pushed off and pushed against the kitchen counter. The drawers handles were pushing onto Louis's back, not helping his comprising situation but he didn't even care because he was looking back at Harry's dark green eyes.
"I said, don't you dare," Harry breathed out on Louis's face, smiling and his dimples appeared-- the same dimples Louis had missed seeing to the point he thought he could cry out loud right now. Harry leaned forward, kissing him roughly and with desperation like he needed this nothing more. His tongue running alongside Louis's bottom teeth, exploring his whole mouth as Louis sinked into the kiss, letting him slip away and kissing him back with the same passion.
Finally, they pulled away and they were both breathing heavily as Louis smirked. He wanted more but not now, they were taking it slow. "Harry Styles, since when did you get so demanding?"
"Since you decided to be a child."
Louis didn't say a word, making his way around Harry and dipping his finger into the batter, smearing it across Harry's face and smiling. Harry gasped, shaking his head in disbelief before he put his face on Louis's, transferring the batter from one face to the other.
"Stop, stop!" Louis cut him off, laughing as lightly kissing him on the lips again. "Don't want to get into a mess, who the hell is going to clean it up? Come on, let's go back to baking."
So, they did. They transferred the remaining batter from the bowl into the tin that was lightly greased and placed it into the oven. Whilst they waited it for it to bake, they sat and watched TV in complete silence and soaking in each other's silent company. It felt good to be able to do that, to not have any tension and worrying about when Harry was going to leave and just take each day as it came. Louis found himself relaxing, getting comfortable on the sofa and he doesn't recall feeling so homely in such a long time.
When the cake was finally done, they brought it out of the oven and covered it in icing and fed each other.
Louis groaned with just how good it tasted, rubbing his stomach and licking his lips with the taste. "God, Harry! You're just perfect from every angle, how is your cooking so good?" He complimented, kissing Harry as a form of saying thank you.
Harry blushed a deep red, shrugging it off. "I've learnt."
"You've learnt from the best! Your mum!"
And there it goes, that one topic that made Harry stiffen and put his cake down instantly looking like he had lost all the appetite to eat it. His face was visibly tense as he made his way towards the sink, fixing himself a glass of water and gulping it down. Louis watched him helplessly, not sure what he had done and what to say next.
"What's wrong?" He asked pathetically, feeling like he was on the edge of tears because how many times was he going to hurt Harry?
All he could remember was back in high school when Anne could cook the best cupcakes, cakes, brownies and offer Louis the whole kitchen; literally. She was the best type of mother you could come across, always keeping Harry's interests at heart and accepting him with open arms. She was so loving, so caring from every angle and she always loved Harry like she saw no one else in the world. And Louis admired that, he was jealous of their relationship despite the amazing one he held with Jay.
Harry shrugged. "I, erm... haven't seen my mum since I moved in with Dalton."
Louis felt sick, feeling like he could throw up the cakes he had just swallowed as he took a deep breath to process the news, to keep the food down. He nodded, exhaling. "Erm.. why, babe?" He asked, moving across to Harry and offering support by putting his hands on either sides of his arms.
Harry shrugged, sadly and looking ashamed-- his head bowed. "Dalton never allowed me to."
"To see your own fucking mother?" Louis asked in disbelief, resisting to curse out Dalton as much as he wanted to. He never thought he could hate a person so deeply and yet, Louis was in the dark from the exact details. In fact, he knew nothing about Harry's abuse but he was hoping to find out one day.
"Don't swear..." Harry pleaded.
Louis sighed, nodding and trying to relax as he led Harry back into the living room. They both sat down in the living room, spending a few minutes in silence before Louis gathered the courage to speak up again.
"Tell me, Harry."
"Tell you what?" He asked, confused and worried.
"Everything. I'm ready to hear it, I want to know how he hurt you and what he did to you."
Harry visibly gulped. "Louis, I'm not sure you're going to want to hear it and it's... too soon, no, I can't." He refused instantly, shaking his head.
Louis wanted to argue back, wanted to demand to know now but he couldn't do that. He couldn't put Harry in that position where he was forced to open his mouth unless he wasn't ready, wasn't completely comfortable-- it wasn't fair. So, he didn't say a word as he cuddled Harry on the sofa and continued to watch Disney movies all night until the sun started rising.
**
Two days later, he decided to call his mum and catch up on everything that had been going on since she was completely in the dark and didn't have a clue. She had probably heard about the news with the paparazzi, the abuse they had shouted to Louis and yet, she hadn't bothered to contact. She probably assumed it was best to leave Louis be, let him get along and let him contact her eventually when she was ready.
Louis had no idea how Jay dealt with it, seeing her baby in the spotlight and news constantly but not being able to comfort him. She had to watch, hear the rumours and read the things they were writing about him but she wasn't able to defend him. She wasn't able to say anything, to stop it from happening and just listen from afar. He owed it all to his mum.
Jay picked up after two rings, sounding pleasantly surprised. "Louis!" She chirped and Louis could just hear the smile behind her voice.
"Mum, gosh, hello!"
"Baby, you have a lot of explaining to do!"
"Yeah, yeah I do." Louis laughed, feeling somewhat free for once. He was having such a good time with Harry, he was but he was lightly tripping over his words and being careful not to hurt him with anything that slipped out of his careless mouth. With his mum, it didn't matter and he could freely express his feelings and let go.
"Tell me everything Loubear!"
"I won't be telling you anything if you call me Loubear," he warned.
"Hush your mouth and speak, young man!"
"Well, I went to the talk show and I kind of lost it outside. I was feeling quite stressed because of Harry and Eleanor, and everything. You understand, don't you mum?" He asked, feeling like a toddler because he needed someone to relate, tell him it's okay.
Jay sighed. "Of course baby."
"Right, so I lost my shit and Zayn helped me, took me back to my hotel. When I woke up, Harry was here." He purposely missed out the suicide bit, feeling like it was best if his mother was spared from the details. She didn't need to know everything, it would only cause her worry considering she was pregnant and she didn't need any added stress.
"Harry?" She gasped out.
"Yes, Harry. He was there and he told me something."
Louis could practically see his mum hanging onto each word. "Told you what?"
"Mum, you remember Dalton?"
"How could I forget?" She chuckled coldly.
"He..." Louis found himself struggling to say the words, feeling like it always got stuck in his throat when he tried to admit what had happened to Harry. He was weak, pathetic but he couldn't bring himself to say it. He gulped, trying to open up and get a voice through him. "He's actually been hurting... Harry for three years." He finally finished.
There was a pause and silence that followed from the other line until Louis heard Jay cursing under her breath, shuffling around in the room and door slamming shut. After a few moments, she finally spoke through. "What do you mean?" She sounded more alert now and her annoyed tone was evident.
Louis gulped. "It's true, mum. Dalton's been abusing Harry and mum, I saw his bruises and I think... I just love him so much." He felt a few tears slipping out, rolling down his cheeks. He had tried so hard to keep it away, to not lose it and keep strong for Harry but he couldn't even help it right now. Saying those words out loud to his mum, being able to express how he feels caused his chest to ache and the tears to spill.
He could hear Jay choke back a few sobs too, sniffing. "Poor baby. Where is he now? Is he with you? Is he okay?"
Louis wasn't surprised by the questions he was bombarded with. "He's with me now, I think I'm going to make him move in. I don't feel comfortable if he gets out of my sight, scared that Dalton might be around and take him back. He's okay, I guess but he's always been good at hiding his feelings and I don't know. He's probably deeply damaged."
Jay sighed deeply from the other end. "Honey, he's going to be damaged for a long time. Did the abuse go on for three years?"
Louis struggled to release a choked out. "Yes."
"Poor, poor boy." Jay said sympathetically. "I wish I could give the lad a hug, I miss him so. Please tell him that. Look after him. Do you know what happened?"
"I will and no, he doesn't... want to talk about it just yet."
"That's understandable. Baby, just put yourself in his shoes. He's probably confused, lost and trying to adjust to this drastic change. Give him space and give him credit for being brave enough to move in with you!"
Louis nodded, he couldn't help but agree with his mum. Harry was a warrior, he was brave and he was strong and he was still standing after all the pain he had to go through. He had wasted three years of his life after the wrong boy and now, he was experiencing what freedom was like after the longest time. It must've been different for him, hard for him to get his head around and Louis had to understand that.
"I'm going to treat him tonight, I think." Louis said, more to himself.
"Then do that! Do whatever makes him happy and yourself, baby."
"I will." Louis said sadly.
"How you feeling Louis?"
Louis sighed because he wasn't even sure. "I'm fine, coping I guess. I can't really make this about myself when Harry's the one whose suffering."
"No, I'm sure you're experiencing it too. You love him so dearly, sincerely-- it doesn't mean you can't be in pain too."
"Mum, I just want him to be happy and I want to be the one who is the reason for his smile."
"I know but hopefully, you can do exactly that now!"
Louis smiled. His mum knew all the right words to say at the right time and he was forever grateful. "He hasn't even seen his mum, Anne in over three years."
Jay gasped. "No fucking way. Excuse my language! Take him there!"
"I can't, not against his will. I'll try. I just want him to be happy." He paused. "How's the girls?"
Jay's voice picked up now, sounding relieved that the topic was changed to something brighter. "They are good. Lottie misses you the most, again."
Louis laughed. "When will Lottie ever not miss me?"
"God knows. You shouldn't stay away from home so long, Louis. We miss you."
Louis frowned. "Sorry mum, I'll try and stop by soon."
"Take your time! I've got some exciting news Louis but it just seems like rubbish to say it now, after all that disheartening news about Harry." Jay sounded deeply upset, her voice heavy and Louis could imagine the frown.
"What's the news?"
"We've brought the wedding date further! Me and Dan have decided to get married in just two months, we just can't wait."
"What about the twins?" Louis wondered.
"Well, they'll be growing inside of me, won't they?"
"Isn't it too early?"
"We don't want to want anymore! Plus, I can't wait to wear my wedding dress and just look like a complete diva!" She sighed, sounding dreamy.
Louis couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, wiping away the last of his tears. "Send us a wedding invitation soon, yeah? Need to go and get the girls some dresses then, don't I?"
"They would really appreciate that Louis, thank you."
"It's okay mum. I'm going to go now, Harry might be awake. I promise to be in touch soon, love you, bye!" He said, hanging up and throwing his phone to the side. He turned around to see Harry staring back at him, standing in the doorway with a lazy smile.
"Talking about me to your mum yeah?" He asked, sounding nothing more than flattered.
Louis tried not to flush a pink colour, trying to seem neutral and calm. "Of course, she loves hearing about you."
"Come here and cuddle me, you dummy."
**
A week has passed by and it's been nothing but silly moments, cuddling in bed and watching endless movies. Harry seemed to want to re watch Love Actually quite a few times, insisting that's what they watch and cuddling up to Louis like a little child during the love. He was always so absorbed with each scene, hanging onto each word and it made Louis so curious. He watched with wide eyes, watching his boy be so interested by something they've both watched more times than they could count. However, Louis didn't say a word and let the movie play every night whilst he warmed up popcorn and bunch of chocolates.
One night, Louis was way too curious and split out. "Harry, why are you so obsessed with this movie?"
Harry had frozen up straight away, his facial expression falling and his smile hiding away behind his frown-- and this is the face Louis feared. "Dalton never let me watch movies, I missed it."
And from that moment, Louis decided never to question even the moments that had him thinking for days. There was a reason behind everything.
In that one week, they had grown closer and despite the fact that Louis was nowhere even close to figuring out the nitty details about Dalton-- he wasn't too worried. As long as Harry was by his side, close to him and breathing the same air as him: he was happy. He was stuck on how to bring up the topic of sending Dalton to jail, putting him under trial because for some reason, he knew Harry was going to refuse.
"Harry..." Louis called out to the sleepy boy who was in bed, wearing a eye mask to shut everything out and blissfully snoring. He smiled fondly at the sight, so glad that this boy was here, in his bed and he couldn't ask for more. He moved around, shaking him slightly, gently. He was glad that Harry was catching up on his sleep, not feeling the need to wake up bright and early. He could see the scars decorated along his arms from the short sleeve he was wearing and Louis tried not to dwell on it too much, just gulping it down. "Babe, I've got interviews today, wake up."
Harry stirred in his sleep, yawning loudly and pushing the blankets off him slowly. "Interviews?"
"Yeah, my new album is coming out soon and I need to do promotion love. You can stay at home, if you want? I can call Niall over..." Louis suggested. He didn't want to disturb Zayn and Liam, they deserved their own privacy and probably had their own plans. Niall, however, was always available and always willing to be there for Louis no matter what.
"No, no," Harry got out of the bed, looking awake and scared and this is what Louis hated the most. "I want to come to work with you."
Louis chuckled, smiling. "It's not exactly my workplace, it's just different interviews I have to do. You'll be bored, Haz. You have to sit behind the camera and just watch me talk."
"I like watching you talk," Harry muttered, scooting closer to Louis and running his finger down Louis's lips. "Your lips..."
"Ssh," Louis couldn't stop smiling, couldn't get Harry out of his minds as he leaned forward and completed the perfect moment with a dazzlingly rough kiss on Harry's lips. "I love you, you beauty. Now, get up and get ready."
**
Louis had quite a few interviews to get down today since their management decided to do a bunch of them, with different people, all in one day and it was terribly boring. Sometimes, Louis wonders why he doesn't let Niall join him and become a small band since Niall could play the guitar. They could make a great team and Louis wouldn't be half as bored whilst sitting in these buildings, watching different reporters and journalists make their way around him.
He was getting his makeup and hair done, sitting on the chair and staring into the mirror behind him where Harry was. Harry was overly excited, amazed by every little thing and making himself known to everyone around the cramped dressing room.
"Hello there!" He would chirp, a bright smile and sincere look in his eyes that made Louis's stomach flutter. "I'm Harry Styles, a friend of Louis's."
And the whole team was taken back by his politeness, introducing themselves happily and getting along with Harry just fine. Louis was amazed how the boy could go through such an ordeal, and such have such a perfect personaltity, be kind to everyone. By now, people would be bitter and hating on every moving human being but Harry kept true to himself and never failed to outshine the person he really is.
Just before Louis was about to go to the first room to get down the first interview of the day, Harry spoke out to him. "It's good to talk to people. Different people. He never let me open my mouth to anyone." He breathed out, hugging Louis from behind and kissing him softly on the shoulders.
In that moment, Louis felt his heart shatter for the boy once again because how cruel was Dalton exactly? He tried to push it away, to give his best in the interviews-- inspired by Harry himself.
"Hello there, Louis Tomlinson!" The first lady said, a bright smile as the interview started. "Now, tell me, how busy have you been with this album?"
Louis returned the gesture, smiling and making direct eye contact with the lady as well as the camera. He knew all his fans were going to get to see this and this was the first time he had come in front of the public since the paparazzi incident. He had completely stopped tweeting, completely isolated himself from the social media side.
"I've been incredibly busy!" Louis started talking, clapping his hands and getting comfortable in his seats. "I finished recording a few months, just doing finishing touches now. So, yeah, all good."
"And, when is it going to be released?"
"Well, my new single will be released in just a matter of a few weeks. I'll be releasing the album cover art, as well as the single cover art, in just a few days. So, keep your eyes peeled for that."
"That's exciting! In one word, how would you describe the new album?"
"Well, the album is called soul-- it was recorded straight from my soul, the words and the music. From one soul to another. I would describe this album was a more indie style, very originial and different to anything else I've done."
The interviewer looked pleased by the answers, getting comfortable in her seat too and visibly relaxing too. Louis had no idea why people found him intimidated, always trying to keep on his good side-- he was a easy guy to get to know. It was just his management and media who were hellbent on making him seem like an ignorant narrow minded jerk.
"I'm going to have to ask you, are you dating Eleanor, I believe?"
Louis clenched his jaw, glancing past the cameras where Harry was sitting. Harry immediately looked down, bringing his hands together and looking ashamed. Louis hated doing this, having to confirm something fake when the love of his life was sitting right across from him. But, it was his job and it had to be done-- it couldn't be helped.
"Yes.. I am," Louis finally spat out, sounding bitter and disinterested, also with a hint of uncertainty.
"Right... and how long have you guys been dating?"
Crap. He didn't even remember the months his management had clearly told him before he entered the room. "2 months, I believe." He went with a wild guess, hoping it was the right one and he wouldn't end up getting told off for.
The first interview was called a wrap, Louis was returned to the hair and makeup for retouch and then ushered into another room. Harry followed each time, not saying a word and mindlessly watching Louis getting endless questions about the album, his holiday, his tour and mostly: his love life. Louis had no idea why people wanted to know details about his love life, but didn't say a word and answered with as much accuracy as he could-- hoping it all added up.
At the end of the long day, they were pushed into the same car as Alberto drove them home. Louis was exhausted, never expecting he could do more than 5 interviews in the same day and cuddled up to Harry to receive some warmth.
He sighed happily into Harry's shirt. "I'm sorry."
"Huh?" Harry asked, looking genuinely confused.
"I wish I could tell the world you're the one I want, even if you don't want me-- but, I can't. It's beyond my limits."
"Hush now Lou," Harry rolled his eyes, looking offended as he went up to stoke through Louis's hairsprayed quiff that felt rough to touch. "You're perfect, don't apologise for doing your job."