CAN YOU TAKE ME FARAWAY?
"You have an appearance at a talk show!" Zayn informed Louis, trying to wake him up whilst packing his and Louis's suitcase for the two nights they were going to be away. It should've been a good thing, being able to get away from this place for a while and being a few miles out where no one could reach them. But the fame didn't stop, it followed and so did the paparazzi.
Louis was having wild nights everyday, drinking until he couldn't see straight and getting high until everything else was blurred out. This was his coping mechanism, blocking everything out and trying to forget the world. It wasn't his fault that this was literally the only thing he knows, this is the only way he knows how to deal with problems and therefore, he does exactly that. It wasn't healthy, not at all but Louis was beyond the point of caring about what's healthy for him. Right now, he could die and he probably wouldn't even care and let it come for him.
Zayn, however, was trying his best to keep Louis out of negative spotlight that he was constantly getting and trying to keep his spirits high. He was around almost everyday with Liam, sorting out his house and making sure Louis was even getting out of bed on most days. There was just so much going on and Louis needed a helping hand, at all times.
But today, Liam decided to skip ahead and dedicate a day for himself. He was learning to be a doctor and his degree was getting harder, more workload being added and he simply couldn't afford to waste another day at the mansion.
So, it was just Zayn who was pulling his weight around here and helping Louis. Louis always got bad like this, refusing to get out of bed or even try to face the world. The first thing he knew best was to hide, to runaway and not deal with his problems because it just seemed easier that way.
"Go fuck Liam," Louis grumbled under his sheets, not wanting to move. He desperately wanted to thank Zayn for doing every little chore around the house but the words couldn't come out of his throat, staying burning at his chest.
Zayn just sighed, getting used to all the bitter words that Louis was spitting out nowadays. He just had to keep reminding himself that this wasn't Louis, this was just his way of dealing things. "I will, after we return from this talk show."
"Does he fuck you good?"
"My sex life has nothing to do with you," Zayn rolled his eyes, trying not to get irritated as he carefully chose out the outfit that Louis could wear to the talk show. He ended up choosing a purple blouse, black blazer, cropped black jeans and purple brogues-- he would look dashing in those clothes.
Louis wrinkled his nose at the work Zayn was doing. "Do you think you're a housewife?" He muttered, his eyes hazy and his voice strained as he tried to look up towards Zayn and failing. Instead, he flopped down on his bed and groaned loudly, not holding anything back.
Zayn scoffed, dramatically flicking his fringe that was falling into his due to the fact that he hasn't styled his hair. "I'm not a housewife, I'm fabulous!"
"Whatever you say."
"C'mon, get up and get ready!" Zayn ordered again, trying to get Louis out of his bed and pulling at his arm pathetically. Louis groaned again, rolling around and pushing his duvet off. He couldn't believe he was being forced to this talk show since it had been arranged for months. There was no way for him to call in and cancel it last minute. He didn't want to go in, act like a happy person when he really wasn't. He was angry at the world, he wanted to kill everyone and ruin each and every single one the paparazzi that come around to annoy him.
"Can I pretend to be dead and disappear and never be seen again?" Louis asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he got out of his bed and walked towards the shower whilst rubbing his eyes.
Zayn laughed, at last, and it was a glorious sound. Zayn had been hardly letting out any noises close to a laugh due to Louis's state and it was worrying him to bits. He didn't like seeing his best friend so broken down, so reliant on drugs and alcohol and it was eating away at him. But, he finally had a moment of bliss.
"I wish Lou," Zayn sighed as he threw fresh clothes towards him and pushed him through the shower.
Louis took his time in the shower, letting the water wash away his hangover and the last reminders of last night. He had no idea what club he had gone to this time but there was a huge party going on and it wasn't like him to ignore it and pass it on. He had been getting a lot of negative media light and management wanted to use this opportunity to clear up the rumours, to lie a little and make Louis look more clean cut, as usual. He had been using cocaine religiously, relying on it everyday and never spending a day where he wasn't high. Louis knew the side effects, he knew what he was getting into but it didn't bother him, didn't stop him. He was beyond the point of caring, he just wanted a way to forget the world, not wanting to see anyone else but the darkness of the nightclub every single day.
He was living a pathetic life, a sad lie along with Eleanor tagging along-- pretending to act like the faithful girlfriend who is trying to sober Louis up. She would send out sympathetic tweets all day, indirects towards him which never made the fans question what was going on between them. 'It was too cute not to be true'.
When he came out, his hair dripping wet and his shirt clinging to his body, he saw Zayn sitting at the breakfast table with the food prepared. He had made pancakes, Louis's favourite, with sprinkled sugar and blueberries and a cup of tea alongside with a few grapes. He was sitting on the stool himself, sipping away at his tea and Louis's eyes widened at the effect.
It was like he had been blind before and hadn't realised all the effort Zayn was putting in to make sure he's okay, to keep him alive and walking around this place and there was a sudden rush and urge of love and appreciation for Zayn.
He sighed deeply, feeling like utter shit for being such a bad friend, as he made his way over to Zayn and gave him an awkward side hug. "Thank you, you dick." He muttered into Zayn's clothes, his head hanging low.
"Thank me later," was the only reply Zayn gave out, returning to his tea as Louis sat down for his pancakes and ate it thankfully. It was made to perfection, as always and it wasn't everyday that he enjoyed food so deeply.
"It was really delicious." Louis complimented, sipping at his tea that had cooled down now so he couldn't burn his tongue, smiling.
Zayn just shook his head, dismissing the sweet words like it was too hard to believe. "Ssh."
"When do we leave?"
"In a few minutes actually. Alberto is going to pick us up, let's go." Zayn beckoned for him to move, picking up all the plates and putting them in the sink for later. "I'll call Liam to come and clean it all out."
Louis frowned. "You guys are babysitting me." He said like he hadn't realised for the past week or so.
"Of course we are, you're incapable of looking after yourself apparently."
"I am capable!" He argued right back before sighing and nodding. "I'm sorry you guys have to deal with me, day in and day out."
"It's fine," Zayn reassured him, smiling. "We're your friends and therefore, we're here for you through no matter what."
That was enough for Louis who smiled appreciatively and left the house, locking the door behind him. It was weird for him to be able to see straight for once since he was always high or drunk and there wa a burn in his throat to continue with his acts. He needed a drink, he needed a blunt but yet he was being forced out of the city to a talk show he never really liked. The interviewer could be bashful, commenting on touchy subjects and Louis knew exactly how difficult today was going to be.
No one said a word in the car. Zayn and Louis at the back whilst Alberto and another security guard drove. There was complete silence and Louis couldn't figure out whether it was comfortable or not, whether he could ease himself into it. Zayn was watching outside the window, headphones in and a small frown playing at his lips and Louis felt terrible for dragging him away from Liam for a few days. How needy could Louis be that he needed to be supervised to a stupid talk show?
Zayn and Liam were practically inseparable and now he was dragging Zayn along, away from his love and they could no longer have sex every night.
"It's okay, I'm sure Liam is getting off whilst thinking about you," Louis whispered low enough only for Zayn to hear, only to relieve some of the tension.
Zayn turned his head down, smiling just slightly. "That thought is not appropriate right now, keep your thoughts to yourself!" He swatted at Louis but his smile didn't fall and for that, Louis felt like he had victory because finally, his best friend was smiling.
The journey wasn't too long, only took an hour and Louis was used to such times. He had been cramped in a tour bus for hours on end, days on end with no sign of stopping sometimes and one hour felt like a breeze. However, for Zayn, it felt like a lifetime who was getting edgy on his seat and constantly tapping his knees. When they finally arrived at the hotel, he looked overly relieved and almost wanted to jump out of the car and run towards the room.
Alberto signed the boys in as they went up to their hotel, away from the public eye and facing out to a beautiful landscape view. It was peaceful up here, no noises of screaming girls could be heard that were piling up outside for a chance to meet Louis. He was never sure why girls were okay with waiting in this cold for him, outside hotels just for a hope on a small glimpse of him transporting from the hotel towards the car.
The management never let him go out and meet them during his hotel stays, declaring it was too risky and there was not enough safety hazards put up for the girls. However, Louis felt like it was just lies and just putting up more rules for him just because they could.
He sent out a quick tweet: 'Girls, if you're outside the hotel, stay safe and drink lots of water to stay hydrated!!!!!' so he knew that he cared. He really did care for his fans, he was overly grateful for all the constant support he got despite the fact he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve millions standing after him for whatever reason, he wasn't a saint and didn't deserve to get forgiven so easily. But it was a blessing all in all.
Zayn came through the door, easing himself onto the chair and texting Liam. "Do you like it here?" He asked, not looking up from his phone.
Another thing Louis was grateful for was the beautiful and extravagant places he stayed at, with all the money he had. He was easily able to afford such amazing places that were stunning from head to toe, every single facility made available for him.
"It's perfect."
"I know, never getting used to the fact I can actually stay here."
"Thanks to me!" Louis grinned.
Zayn smiled back. "Thanks to you."
They were quickly ordered to get ready, put on their best suits and that the car was waiting. Zayn helped Louis, got his suit out and made it look perfect. He styled Louis's hair, giving it a graceful little quiff and making him look as beautiful as he could be as Louis stood, helpless and watching. He felt like shit that his best friend had to look after him, for every little single thing but he also felt vulnerable and he loved the attention so he didn't speak.
He looked in the mirror, pleased with his appearance. "Thanks man." He said sincerely, his voice dripping with nothing more than love for Zayn.
"Sssh."
"Are you not going to get ready?"
"I'm not coming on live tv, you are!" Zayn laughed, shaking his head as he ushered Louis out of the hotel room and towards the car, once again.
The second Louis stepped out, in view for the public eye, all the girls started screaming from every corner of the store and Louis grimaced. He tried not to cover his ear, tried not to look like this was a problem because it wasn't. It was mindblowing, every time, that so many people had turned up to his hotel just to catch a glimpse of him. He looked around, trying to look over every single person but the line was endless and waved. He tried to wave to every corner of the street and smiled dazzlingly huge and quickly made his way to his car.
Louis felt somewhat satisfied right now, still a little shocked at the amount of people that were waiting outside his hotel.
"There's over a thousand girls outside the studio of the talk show," Alberto informed them, not taking his eyes off the road as he drove down the packed road. Thankfully, the windows were blacked out and you couldn't see a thing.
Louis's eyes widened. "Are you serious? There must've been over two thousand here!"
"I know, apparently these girls are making their way to the studio now too."
"Woah," Zayn got a single word in, looking a little out of his comfort zone but not complaining. He wasn't used to these sort of crowds, the fans that turned up and ran after the car-- it was something that had him speechless every time.
"Their amazing." Was the only thing Louis could say, getting comfortable in his seat and feeling really good for the first time. Seeing his fans just made his day, made his month and year. There wasn't enough ways he could thank them.
"You're telling me." Zayn muttered.
After a few minutes, Louis got the unfortunate call from management that always seemed to come around whilst he made his way to interviews and such. He picked it up, repressing a sigh. "Yes?" He said, quite rudely.
"Louis!" One of the member staff, Jake, spoke through the phone and you could practically hear the smile in their voice.
Louis rolled his eyes. "Yes?"
"I believe you're heading over to an interview right now?"
"Yes."
"The story is that you've been with Eleanor for couple of months now, only made it official recently and you asked her out at the dinner date you guys first went to."
Louis couldn't believe all the lies that Jake wanted him to say but didn't dare speak up, biting his tongue to not say a word and listening quietly. It was all bullshit to him and he didn't stand for this but as long as he was under this contract, he had no choice.
"Alright." He finally said, sighing.
"Alright?" Jake repeated, just begging for conversation.
Louis just ended up hanging up, not wanting to talk anymore and pocketing his phone. He felt exhausted already, wanting to just go home and get some rest but instead, he was going to a stupid talk show. Zayn, sitting opposite him, was relaxed and on his phone-- quite clearly to Liam.
"What's he saying?" Louis asked him.
Zayn flushed at the mention of his boyfriend, swatting his hand playfully. "Saying good luck, keep your calm."
They finally arrived at the studio. Louis was rushed to the makeup room immediately, changing up the perfectly done hair and making him look completely fake. Louis hated how they all got to decide how he was going to have his hair done for the show or the clothes he wore. Thankfully, he wasn't forced to change his clothes and they were relatively okay with the purple blouse Zayn had chosen out for him. However, it didn't change the fallen expression Zayn had when Louis came out of the room with his hair styled down in a fringe.
"They changed it." Louis stated, shaking his head.
Zayn grinned. "Lucky bastard, you look good in whatever they do to you!"
"Years of practise in the makeup room, love. Nothing natural." Louis sighed as they went into the blue room, just before the stage, where the interview would be taking place. Zayn was going to stay backstage and watch on, support him though Louis couldn't see the support.
Finally, he was called to the stage and he placed a swift kiss on Zayn's forehead before moving off the sofa and into everyone's eyes. Screams could be heard from everywhere, from left and right and he waved as he felt blinded by the studio lights that were shining on him. He tried not to react too much, not make a facial expression as he sat down opposite the guy on the sofa that was for him.
"Louis Tomlinson, guys! Welcome to the Jimmy show." Jimmy greeted, offering his hand as a hand shake.
Louis took it gracefully, smiling. "Thank you for having me." He knew exactly what to do, what to say at occasions like this.
"No, thank you for coming down! So, let's start off straight away with the rumour we all want to hear about!"
Here was the time to confirm Eleanor and his relationship, officially speaking from his own mouth and lying.
"Yes?"
"Are you and Eleanor dating? We've heard speculations, news from everyone and it's time we finally hear the story from you!"
It was a pity that the first thing he was asked at the Jimmy show was purely about his personal life, nothing to do with his music which was his career. He was here to promote his music, talk about his album and release exclusive news but instead, he was asked straight away about Eleanor.
"About that," Louis smiled, "yes, we are in fact dating. Me and Eleanor met a few months ago, but we made it official recently."
"And I'm guessing, she's really supportive of you?"
The sad truth is, no one was supportive except his family and friends. Harry couldn't care less about him, showing up to planned meetings with love bites on display and Dalton tagging along just to torment him. Harry never offered any type of support, never showed his affection and used him like a ragged doll. Was it because he was rich and he was able to supply him with money? Was Harry just money greedy like usual people?
Eleanor was supportive, yes but not in the way he needed someone to be. It felt like fake care because she was paid to be there, paid to listen to Louis and have a day out with him and Louis hated it. It was all artificial.
"Of course, my girlfriend always looks out for me and makes sure everything's good." The lie felt bitter on his tongue but he gulped it down, trying not to seem fazed on live television and kept his smile bright and bold.
Jimmy didn't notice a thing. "That's great, you're definitely off the market?"
"Yes." He said roughly, feeling a weight on his tongue.
Then the topic was changed, his album was brought to light and Louis was glad that he was able to promote his music-- what he actually loved doing and the reason he was in this mess. He was willing to sacrifice everything for his passion.
"What's your new album called?"
"It's called soul." Louis announced for the first time, ever, smiling brightly because he was so proud. He had spent so long on this album, endless nights where he stayed up and wrote songs from his experiences. The days he was feeling down, he used to get paper and write down all the muddled thoughts down, bringing to life.
"Soul, ey?" Jimmy asked. "Why is it called Soul, any specific reason?"
"Well, you know, I just wrote these songs straight from my soul and spent all my effort making this album perfect. From start to finish. It comes from the soul to another soul."
Jimmy looked quite pleased with the explanation, nodding. "I love it! And when's your new single coming out?"
"Oh, soon! Definitely in about two weeks."
And so, the interview continued this way as they discussed general things and it just felt like any ordinary interview. Louis wasn't sure why this interview was deemed so important in their management eyes, making it compulsory and almost impossible to pass up on. It was just like any other questions he would've gotten anywhere else.
He was glad when it was done though, sighing loudly as he walked back to the blue room where Zayn was.
"I'm so sorry." was the only thing Zayn said.
"For?"
"Just the lies, Eleanor, everything. You don't deserve thing." Zayn had the saddest smile, looking like this interview truly affected him. He grabbed Louis and led him out of the studio where there was a whole array of paparazzi standing before him.
There was cameras everywhere, flashes from every angle as they tried to get pictures of Louis and Zayn leaving the studio. Questions were being asked from every person, coming out of everywhere and making it just one huge blur. Louis wasn't sure what to do, wondering why he wasn't used to this reponse of paparazzi all attacking him at this time of the night. Zayn seemed to handle it better than anyone, leading them through the crowd and trying to push through all the fans who had seemed to approach him, crowding him and suffocating him.
Louis was getting mobbed and it took him a while to realise what was going on exactly and processing the information.
"Keep your head down, just keep moving!" Zayn shouted over the mess, trying to reach Louis but he was deafened by the screams, by the sounds and it felt like he was going to die. This was the end.
Until, there was a significant scream that came from one of the paparazzi that rang clear in Louis and alerted him. "You're a fag! Fag with the other fag you were in the car with!"
And that caught Louis's attention, almost straight away, as he whipped crowd around the thousands that were surrounding him and trying to find the culprit. He wanted to get his hands on him, wanted to get dirty and hurt someone. He had been waiting for an opportunity to hurt someone, to get into a fight just to release all the anger-- and this felt almost like the perfect timing.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Louis shouted, catching everyone off guard as they backed away in shock but still clutching their phones, taking pictures.
Zayn, oblivious, had moved ahead and not realised Louis was following considering the sounds had just gotten louder.
Louis wasn't backing down, getting closer to the paparazzi and getting all in their face. He was angry, he could feel it swimming in his veins as he clutched his jaw and went to make a grab for the guys collar before the guy stepped out of the way.
"Do not ever call someone a fag, do you fucking understand me?" Louis spat. He was more concerned, more annoyed that someone was getting Harry involved in this, calling him a fag too. He couldn't imagine what Harry was going to think once he sees the news tonight, seeing Louis everywhere and seeing how downhill Louis has gone since.
Then, Zayn came back and grabbed Louis, moving him through the crowd that had actually made way for him now. They slipped into the car where Alberto looked stressed out as ever, once again, clutching his forehead.
"Again! Louis!" Alberto didn't hold back his anger, slamming his fists down on the wheel. "You lost it again! Can you not hold it together?"
But, there was too many emotions running through Louis at the moment for him to even speak up. He was boiling with anger, and that couldn't change. It wasn't helping that Alberto was being somewhat unsupported right now.
Louis just wanted to die, more than anything, right now.
**
Here we go, this is where it all starts!!