"He became a father-figure to me. He was a big part of my life." - Dave Fleming
(Sep 30) Our school dance was coming up, and I couldn't wait. I keep thinking about how the dance would be like if Mom was alive. How she would help me pick my dress and my shoes. It makes my heart ache. I knew my dad was going to be out of the house because he had a work party. Farkle and I've made up, but he still worries about me. Topanga gives me worried glances. Even Lucas, who was there when my mom died, checks up on me occasionally. I still don't want anyone to know. I have to admit that I envy the girls my age who are best friends with their dad. Who have their father to lean on. It's just hard. But honestly, all of this past week has been hard. And I have a feeling something might happen.
(Song- My Blood ~ TØP)
~<3~
It was another normal day at John Quincy Adams middle school. By normal I mean that Riley, Maya, and I were staring at a ninth-grader.
"Look at that ninth-grade woman! She's putting on makeup. We're going to be ninth-grade women someday!" Riley exclaimed. Maya dropped her jaw.
"This thing goes to ninth grade?" That comment from Maya caused me to laugh.
Riley pointed at the girl, who was using makeup. "Why that?"
"Brings out your eyes." We said in unison.
"Why would I wanna take out my eyes?"
"She's not taking out her eyes," Maya said as I rolled my eyes.
We watched as the girl took out an eyelash curler. "And I think she is." Riley pointed to her.
"It's an eyelash curler. It doesn't even hurt." The girl said, holding it out. Riley took the curler, examining it.
"I have eyelashes."
"Watch this." We told the girl.
Riley clamped it on her lashes, "Ahhhhh!" She screamed continuously.
"Anybody else would stop," Maya remarked.
"But not you." I finished, rolling my eyes.
Riley did it again. "Ahhhhh!"
"Open it." Mr. Matthews said, walking past us
She opened it. "Thanks, Daddy."
"Yeah, okay."
"Yeah, okay." She mimicked, handing it back to the girl.
"Ladies." We heard.
We turned around. "Farkle."
"School dance. I'm gonna put you three down for Dance Numbers one through all of them. We will alternate. You and me, me and you, you and me. When you're not dancing with me, you may not dance with anyone else. So you may sit and wait until you dance with me again."
Maya stared at him. "Yeah, none of this is happening."
"Well, may I have one dance with each of you?" He asked hopefully.
"Sure." We replied. I didn't see why not. One dance couldn't hurt.
"Ha! That's all I wanted. You just got played by Farkle." He told us before walking away.
"Never a dull moment," I remarked.
"Hey, guys!" Lucas said walking up to us.
"Another person..." I groaned, "That's the third one already..."
"Lucas!" Riley said excitedly.
"Hand." We reminded her. She raised it.
"Lucas!"
"Grown-up voice."
"Lucas, hello." She said in a deep voice, causing me to laugh.
"Hey."
"Hey, yeehaw. You going to Tick-Tock Shake Your Body Time?" Maya asked.
"You know, it's not a square dance, so, not gonna be a whole lot of do-si-doing." I finished.
Lucas smirked. "Well then, I'm sure I'll have no idea what to do and you guys can make fun of me.
Maya and I pointed at him. "You're not playing this right."
Lucas put our hands down. "Oh, well that's certainly not my intention. I'll try harder next time."
"We will break you." We said threateningly. I mostly just enjoyed teasing him.
"Well, if that's what makes you happy, then. I certainly can't wait for it, "He tipped an imaginary hat, "ma'am."
We shuddered in annoyance, turning from him.
"You going to the school dance, Lucas?" Riley asked.
"Thought I would. You?"
We gagged. "You hear us?" I asked and we gagged again.
"You'll both be there. He'll be the one in a cowboy hat going like this." Maya did a cowboy dance as I sang an upbeat western song.
The bell rang. "So, you going to class?"
Riley nodded. "Thought I would. You?"
They walked away as we continued our"show" people clapped us on and we stopped. "It isn't for you."
They kept clapping, so we kept dancing. "Okay, fine."
~<3~
"So Riley's going to ask her parents if she can wear makeup to the dance," Maya remarked. We were having a sleepover, and we were sitting on her bed, our backs against the wall.
"Hey..." I started, realizing something, "Isn't the dance on 'Cyclone Day' when she goes on that daddy-daughter date thing??" I asked.
Maya nodded. "How bad do ya think this is gonna be?"
"We'll see tomorrow."
~<3~
"Friar! Farkle! Hart! Huxton! You." Mr. M called as we walked into class, stopping at Riley.
"Dad, I..." He cut her off, making a closed mouth symbol with his hand. "Okay." She sighed, walking to her desk.
"It's bad," I whispered to Maya.
"Well, guys." He started. "I've got your test results on Darwin to give back to you, and uh, I'm pleased to see some of you have "evolved" since the last quiz." He waited for us to laugh.
"Ha!" Farkle said, pretending to laugh.
"Thanks, Farkle."
"Well, you were drowning, sir." I laughed at that.
Mr. M started to hand out our test results. "Ms. Hart. Mr. Friar, Nice work."
"Thank you, sir."
"Ms. Huxton."
"Thanks teach."
"Yeah, ok. Mr. Farkle."
"A: number 700. Huzzah!" He took out a noisemaker.
"You." He said seriously, giving Riley her paper.
"You okay?" Riley and I asked, noticing Maya's slightly worried look.
"He gave me an F."
"That's nuts, you're a solid D student." She said, and I nodded.
"Mr. Friar, I took particular note of your position that evolution does not preclude the existence of... How did you put it?"
"A guiding hand that has your best interest at heart."
"Ms. Huxton, the part I found very interesting was where you wrote, 'I believe that when humans decide to use the Theory of Evolution, they are letting it take the place of a particularly important role of their Father, using it, rather than him, and saddening him.' "
I nodded before realizing what he was doing. I put my hands up defensively. "Hey, don't use my words as part of your war.
Maya raised her hand. "Yes, Ms. Hart."
"You failed me."
"Why don't we talk about this after class?"
"What's there to talk about? You failed me." She stood up. "You think I'm a failure." She picked up her paper. "There's nothing more for you to teach me."
"Oh, come on, both of you gotta say that? What, is Kenz next?" Maya started to walk out. "What, you mean I lost you both? I only have Makenzie now? Maya!" She turned around. "You do not walk out of here." She walked out. Riley and I raised our hands. "Go." So we followed her.
~<3~
We stepped into the hallway where Maya was taking things out of her locker. "Redecorating your locker?"
"Nope." She took a Barbie doll body (who knows where she got it from) and put it below her chin. "Cleaning it out! Do you want one? Because it's the last one you're gonna get."
"Well, I have one too so...." A few months ago, Maya and I had installed cotton candy machines in our lockers. Still not 100% sure how we got away with it.
She handed Riley a cone of it and Riley sighed. "Maya, it's just one F."
"It's not about the paper, Riley. Your dad failed me."
"Yeah, I know, and, I'm not going on the Cyclone, I failed him. Can we just call it even?"
"Nope, we can just call it I'm leaving."
"Maya, I know you. You'll make a big deal about this, pretend to leave school forever, and you'll be back by gym class." I told her, sighing.
"No. This time I mean it."
"Alright Maya, I'll see you tomorrow," Riley called.
"No, you won't."
"You'll pick me up at seven!"
"I won't be there."
~<3~
"You made your point, okay? You didn't come to school today, and your teacher is really upset with you." We were sitting in the bay window, as Maya fooled with her laptop.
"He's not my teacher anymore. I now attend a prestigious online academy."
A man with a Brooklyn accent started talking on the computer. "Welcome to the Frank Mantucci on da computer school, where youse get out of it what you put into it. And what you need to put into it is 400 dollars. Gimme." I started laughing.
"Prestigious, huh?" She elbowed me. "Ow!"
"You paid that?" Riley exclaimed.
"Free trial. I took the test to see if I qualify for the free trial."
"Maya, it's a scam, they take anybody."
The guy with the Brooklyn accent voice started talking again. "Congratulations!"
"I got in!"
"You are the first person to ever fail the Frank Mantucci on da computer school. How'd you do dat?"
"How'd you do dat?" Riley and I mimicked.
"We asked: "Name?" You didn't put nuttin'.'
"Well, at least you were smart enough not to give them your name," I reassured.
"It's not that I'm smart enough."
"Then what is it?" Riley asked.
"Maybe sometimes, I'm not so proud of who I am." I sighed, leaning my head on her shoulder.
"I know how you feel."
Topanga walked in. "How's it going in here?"
"Mom, tell Maya to come back to school. Regular school."
"Hmm, so, you don't like this, huh?" Oh, where could Topanga be going with this?
"Of course not! Maya always comes to school with me. She always picks me up at seven. I look forward to it."
"Like a tradition." I face-palmed. That woman's a genius.
"Yeah! Oh. You know, even though you're a mother, that was creepy good."
"So, Maya doesn't show up like she's supposed to and how does that make you feel?"
"Oh." She put her hand on her heart.
"Honey, you have to go to him. He feels bad. You have to go to your father."
Maya and I looked at each other. "I feel bad. Will he come to me?"
"No. He's your teacher. He doesn't have to." Riley said.
"But he will." Topanga finished.
"What?"
"He doesn't have to, but he will." She repeated.
"Why?"
"Because he's always there."
Mr. M walked in, holding his hand out to Maya. Maya took it and they left.
"Always?" I asked, thinking about my own dad, sadly.
"Always." Riley and I laid our heads on her shoulders.
~<3~
Riley had followed her dad and Maya into the front, but Topanga had pulled me back. "Makenzie?"
"Yeah...?" I replied sitting back down.
"You and I both know that you're acting differently. Ever since you came back from Texas. Now I understand that your mom died, but there's something else. Something that's not grief. And I'm worried about you. You are one of the strongest girls I know. So, if you don't mind my asking, what's going on." I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself, but it was hard. My eyes started to water.
"M-my dad's not around as much anymore. I sleep here because he doesn't get back 'till late at night." She nodded, hugging me as I kept going. "It would be more understandable if it was just because of work, but..." I took a deep breath, "h-he has a girlfriend now. M-my mom died last year, and he promised her that he'd never feel that way about anyone again, b-but he's already moved on!" I sobbed into her shoulder. "R-Rileys fighting with M-mr. Matthews right now, b-because she wants to go to the dance instead of their tradition, and it hurts him... I wish my dad actually cared that much. My dad barely acknowledges me anymore Topanga!" I cried as she held me in her arms. After a few minutes, I finally looked up. "Topanga thank you..."
"We will always be here if you need us." She said with a half-smile, before helping me clean off my face in the bathroom.
~<3~
"Nothing to be ashamed of anymore, Maya." I heard as I walked into the room, standing next to Maya.
Maya sighed. "My dad doesn't live with..."
"It's okay."
"He's got this new family."
Topanga exchanged a glance with me. "Maya, you don't have to..."
"I do have to. I have to be able to talk to you. If you give me an F if you decide I'm not worth working on..." I hugged her.
"Maya, take a look around you. We're all here for you. Does this look like we think you're not worth working on?"
"I just don't wanna fail, Mr. Matthews. Thank you."
Riley suddenly blurted out. "I don't wanna go to the dance. The dance doesn't matter to me at all. I want to go on the Cyclone with you more than anything in the world!"
Cory smiled. "You're going to the dance."
Riley smiled wistfully. "Hooray."
Cory nodded. "I'm going to chaperone."
"What's that mean?"
"Hand." Maya and I said in unison.
She raised her hand. "What's that mean?"
"Grown-up voice."
"Lucas, hello." I snickered.
Cory frowned. "What's that mean?"
~<3~
We were all at the dance. I had picked out a red halter top dress and silver heels. Riley was dancing with Lucas, and Maya and I were taking turns dancing with Farkle. One of us would dance with him for a couple of minutes before he would spin us and trade us out with the other one.
"You're a really good dancer, Lucas." Riley smiled.
"Thanks, so are you."
"Look, everyone's copying us." Sure enough, everyone was dancing the same.
"The hat's just for us, isn't it?" Maya pointed out, as Farkle spun me and Maya started dancing with him.
"You actually put thought into our little game, don't you Huckleberry?" I asked, grinning.
"I actually do." He said putting a rose in Maya's mouth.
Maya shuddered. Farkle put the rose in his mouth and shuddered back. I laughed.
The music ended and everybody clapped. Mr. Matthews cleared his throat. "Well, guys, it looks like the night is winding down. We hope you all enjoyed the dance. But before we go, I notice some fathers have arrived to pick up their daughters. I wonder if we might have one last dance. A father-daughter dance." My heart sank as I heard that, leaning my head on Maya's shoulder.
Soft music stayed to play, and Matthews approached Riley, but she stepped out of the way so he was facing Maya and me. "May I please have this dance, girls?" He asked, holding one hand out to Maya and the other to me. We took his hands and stepped to the center of the floor. After a bit, Maya and I held out our hands to Riley, and she took them.
"Looks like maybe we have a new tradition." She commented.
"That's okay. Traditions are supposed to evolve. Just like daughters. Sometimes daughters just need... What was that again, Mr. Friar?" He turned to Lucas.
"A guiding hand that has your best interest at heart."
"There's still a whole lot I need you to teach me, dad."
"Thank you, Riley."
Maya and I looked at each other, giving each other a mischievous look, before saying in unison. "There's still a whole lot we need you to teach us, too."
"Hey, he's my father."
"Whatever you say." We joked.
"You do know that you're my father, right?"
"Yeah, I'm your father. Thank you, Riley."
"How's that for makeup?"
"Perfect."
And so was the rest of that night.
(Sep 30) This morning, I thought for sure something was going to happen (as I wrote in my previous entry), and I was right. Good and bad things happened today, and I learned something. Family isn't about blood or DNA. It's about people who fill your life with joy, people who are always there for you, and the people you never want to let go of.