♧ Felicity POV ♧
~ Reminiscence ~
~ The Nagai Household ~
- 12 Years Ago ~
Black and White Frame
I gasp and my eyes widen in surprise. I can't believe what I'm seeing.
There is a small golden haired dog running around our kitchen, barking madly.
Happiness flows through me and I run over to pet him.
"A dog, a dog, a dog, you got me a dog, Papa!"
I drop onto my knees and the fluffy little puppy licks my face madly, making me giggle. He's jumping around, happy that I'm playing with him and happy to have a new friend.
Papa laughs. "Happy birthday, Felix."
"Thank you so much! I've always wanted a doggie and a doggie just like this one!"
He smiles. "I saw your scrapbook and I finally decided to take the hint. He's a golden retriever. He won't always be this small, he'll be very big soon so you'll need to take him on lots of walks. You don't mind, do you?"
I hug the little puppy gently and he gives me a big slobbery kiss. "I like big dogs the best. And when he grows up all big and strong and when I become a hero, he can be my sidekick!"
Papa laughs and pats my head. "Good girl, Felix." He stays smiling but he now looked a little sad. "I know she promised and she did her best to get here but I'm sorry Momma couldn't make it. You do understand, don't you?"
I smile at Papa. I am a little sad that Momma never made for my birthday especially since four is a very important age but I do understand. Momma is a hero and she's saving people right now. And saving lives is the best type of birthday present I could ask her for.
I nod. "I do. And the next time I see her, I'll show her that I'm going to be a hero just like her! And my puppy too!"
Papa gives me a hug. "I'm so glad I gave in and got you this little guy."
"I love, love, love him!"
"Do you know what you want to name him?"
"Bailey, Bailey, Bailey, Bailey! After my favourite book ever, ever, ever!"
"Bailey it is then." He takes my hand. "Come on, let's kill the cake."
"For breakfast?"
"It's your birthday, isn't it?"
"Can Bailey have some too?"
"That would make him all sick, honey. And we don't want that, do we?"
My eyes are huge. "No, I don't want Bailey to get sick at all. Can doggies not have cake?"
"I'm afraid not." He picks me up gently and carefully seats me on the seat at the head of the table. I stare at him with wide eyes.
"I can sit at the top?"
He smiles and ruffles my hair, brown eyes twinkling. "Why not? You're a big girl now, Felix." His face looks a little worried though but then he brightens. "Anyway, cake!"
He walks into the kitchen and returns with a birthday cake, covered in white icing and it has little iced pink and blue flowers among the four bright, glowing, pink and white striped candles. I gasp in surprise. "Papa, it's so pretty! You made this for me?!"
He sets it down and scoops me up in his arms. "Of course, nothing but the best for my little girl!" He holds me out at arms length and smiles warmly. "You're very, very special to me, Felix. And I want more than anything for you to be happy." He pulls me back into his chest and I snuggle up to him, giggling softly.
"I know, Papa. You tell me everyday."
I can just hear him smiling. "Yes, I do. So that way, you can never forget, even if you want to."
He puts me back down on my chair and ruffles my hair again. "Well, what do you wish for?"
I stare at these bright glowing candles, their warmth on my face. There is so much to wish for but there's only really one thing I want.
I close my eyes and say a prayer.
Dear God, thank you so much for letting me experience happiness like this. Even if it's all just a joke, I feel so blessed right now so thank you. I don't want to seem selfish and I'm so grateful to have been born to a father like mine but there's just one little thing I'd really, really want...if that's okay with you.
"I wish..." I say softly. "I wish that for my birthday next year or the year after that or even the year after next...we can all be together. Me, you and Momma."
I take a deep breath and blow out the candles. That's all I want.
Please.
I slowly opened my eyes, the morning sun beaming on my face. I was a bit sleepy but for what felt like the first time in forever, I wasn't completely and utterly dead. Because I'd actually slept properly.
I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes. Yesterday had been weird, that was for sure. I'd used my quirk, Sho-chan had used his left side against Midoriya but not Bakugo and had ended up loosing the sports festival and for the first time since I was six, I'd had a good dream about my father. No nightmares. Just a happy memory in the form of a dream. Just a dream of a happy time we'd shared.
I smiled to myself and ripped my duvet off me, leaping out of bed and stretching. The sun was shining, the sky was huge and blue, it was a perfect day. And I was going to make the most of it.
I pulled my pyjamas off and opened my wardrobe. I didn't have a very vast selection of clothes because I didn't really need much. I never really left my house.
I sighed. Some stuff has got to change, Felix. Note to self: get some decent clothes that aren't size 11-12. And get an actual bra. There has to be one that fits you somewhere. You know how humiliating getting changed is when you're the only one with a training bra.
I'll tell you the truth, all my clothes were really old fashioned. My grandma had bought most of them and as much as I loved her, she was a bit behind the times. I'd never really minded wearing what she'd bought as I only ever spoke to her, Grandpa, Sho-chan and one or two others and they didn't care about my clothes.
I shook my head. But now was different! I was actually going to start leaving my house! It was a small step sure, but willingly going for a walk was still a small step in the right direction.
In the end, I just pulled out a pale soft pink pinafore dress and a plain long sleeved white shirt. I couldn't see anything else that was much better. It didn't really matter, I probably wouldn't see anyone I knew. It was just a walk for me, myself and I. Time for me to reflect in a different setting and get my thoughts together.
I brushed my brown hair, smoothening out the tangles and making it all nice and silky. I then went to wash my face but I stopped. Should I tie my hair up and push my fringe back off me face?
No, a voice inside my head argued. Absolutely not. What if you meet someone from school and you don't have your fringe to hide behind? That'd only end in disaster.
B...But...I don't really mind anyone from school seeing my face anymore. I mean...they all seem to be very nice people...
Yes but remember you're not a very nice person.
My own words hit me like a brick but I was determined to be strong. No. I'm going to do this. I need to make a change. And I won't need my fringe to hide behind because I won't let anything happen.
Feeling a little like a solider preparing for battle, I grabbed a hair tie and tightly tied my hair back into a high ponytail before grabbing a thin, silk white hair band and used it to push my fringe back.
I splashed some water on face and took a deep breath, glaring at my reflection. "Okay, Felix, you're going to go out and you won't have a panic attack and you won't start freaking out because this is your first day as the new you, the you who isn't afraid of everything, including herself!" I slapped my cheeks together. "You can do this! Just think of all the little things that make you happy and you'll be fine."
I grabbed a pair of frilly white socks as I was out of normal sports socks and walked out of my room and headed into the kitchen. "I'm just going out for a bit, is that okay?"
Grandma choked on her toast and Grandpa dropped his newspaper. "Come again?"
I took a deep breath. "I'm just going out for a walk, that's all-"
"Oh, Felicity!" They screamed, hugging me tightly.
"H-Huh, wh-wh-wh-wh-wha-"
"First, the sports festival and now you're actually wanting to go off and venture in the outside world, you're-"
I gently shoved them off me and hastily took a few steps back, my face burning up. "G-Grandpa! I'm just going out, you don't need to get so excited, people leave their houses all the time!"
They both nodded but didn't stop smiling. "Yes. Of course."
They could be so weird.
I let out a heavy sigh, already sort of exhausted and headed for the front door. "I'll be back soon," I said, stuffing my feet into my shiny red ballet flats. "An hour at the most. But it'll probably be shorter than that."
Grandma nodded, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. "Yes."
"Are you crying?!"
"No! Well...just let us give you one more hug!" Her and Grandpa gave me a quick tight squeeze before shoving me out the door and slamming it shut before opening it again. "We're very proud of you!"
Slam.
Open.
"We love you, just thought you should know!"
Slam.
I headed for the stairs.
I heard the door open again.
"Have a nice walk!"
Slam.
Open.
"We love you!"
Slam.
Open.
"Okay, bye, we love you!"
Slam.
Silence.
I smiled to myself as I walked down the stairs. They can be a little whacky but I love them. They were kind enough to take me in with loving arms despite everything that happened and I'll always be so thankful for that.
And this was my first time willingly leaving the house since age five. No wonder they were excited.
I was actually feeling pretty okay. It really was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and golden and perfect. The falling cherry blossoms were bright and glowing, giving the world this magical pink glow and I thought for a second I would burst with happiness for a world as lovely as this one and I wanted to run and fly and laugh and dance all at once.
Would I really? Of course not. People would see and judge me.
But maybe...
Someday. I would someday.
I suddenly heard a faint meowing. I blinked and stopped, looking around. A cat? But where?
I looked up and squinted, the sun's golden rays shining down on me through the gaps of the cherry trees above me. Moving my feet slightly, from that angle the petals shielded me from the brightness and I could see properly. Yes. A small little black and white kitty was stuck in the cherry blossom tree. Its collar seemed to be caught in a branch, preventing it from jumping down.
I nervously dug one foot in ground. I'm not all too fond of climbing trees. I could have quickly used my quirk but that would have meant tearing two holes at the back of my dress and besides, we're not really supposed to use our quirks in public. Even if it was just as simple as helping a cat down from a tree, I could still get in trouble and call me a goody goody if you like but I really, really don't like getting into trouble.
But...
Whenever I see animals, they always remind me of Bailey.
He was such a good dog before...
Come on, Felix, how are you gonna be a hero if you can't even save a poor little kitty cat from a tree? Stop thinking and just do it!
So, I took a deep breath and began to climb.
❂ Katsuki POV ❂
Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!
First, that stupid old hag yelled at me for making too much noise, because she's so much better at being quiet, and then she kicked me out and told me to come back when I'd calmed down and then some stupid kids came up to me, telling me that I looked like a wild animal at that STUPID, STUPID sports festival and then they ran crying to their mamas because I told them I'd kill them.
It wasn't even the afternoon yet and I was already fit to murder someone. Preferably Icy Hot. If I broke down his front door and threatened to kill him, would he then use his flames against me? Tempting. But I didn't know where he lived and I didn't know if the school would trust me with that information.
I kicked at a stone and stormed down the road, my hands stuffed in my pockets. I was just so, so done. I'd worked harder than anyone, I'd tried harder than anyone at that dumb sports festival and I'm still not enough? I won but what was the point in having a victory if it didn't mean anything?
I wanted to yell, I wanted to break something, I wanted to fight, I wanted to scream and I wanted to stop all at the same time.
I suddenly stopped. What the what?
Standing on the branch of a cherry tree, gently picking up a cat was Nagai.
The soft, golden late morning sun was framed behind her as she straightened up, its rays giving her smooth, pale skin this strange majestic glow, the blue sky painted above her. The blossoms surrounding this small, petite figure seemed to glow brighter and they were dancing around her, her short and silky brown ponytail fluttering in the wind.
A stronger wind suddenly blew, sending a whirlwind of blossoms shooting towards me as she struggled to keep her balance and her hair off her face, while still holding onto the cat. She'd fall if she wasn't careful.
I finally came to life. "H-Hey, what the hell are you doing?!"
My voice scared the cat who began screeching and scratching as he tried to jump down. She squealed in fright as he crawled at her hands and she lost her footing, tipping backwards.
She was going to fall.
What happened then is hard to explain. But some weird sort of instinct kicked in and before I could even think or realise what I was doing, I was dashing forwards. I was running straight for her.
I got there just in time and she fell into my arms. Her eyes were shut tight at first but then they snapped open, huge and wide the second I caught her.
There was a warm wind blowing and my world was spinning as our eyes stayed locked onto each other.
Hers were different now.
Once dull and dark, they were now sparkling pools of brown light, a light I'd never seen in anyone else' eyes before.
I bet everything looked perfect through those eyes.
She was light. Too light. Almost like a feather. And her fringe was pushed back properly for the first time. I could see her face perfectly.
Because she wanted the world too.
For once, I just felt calm.
Her face then flared up and hastily scrambled out of my arms before turning to face me, bowing her head frantically. "I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry! I-I-I-I-I didn't mean to, I just, I just sort of lost my balance and I'm really, really sorry!"
I didn't know what to expect next.
But then the weirdest thing happened.
She gave me a small, embarrassed smile. "B-But thank you very much for helping me!"
Helping her?
I was the reason she fell. Honestly, how stupid.
I glared at her. "Who'd you think you're thanking?! It was a one time thing, don't get used to it, Quirky!"
She didn't say anything. She just stared.
"What're you looking at?!"
Her face reddened and she hastily took a few steps back. "N-N-Nothing! N-Nothing, I swear."
I scowled and looked away. She blinked.
"Why are you..."
I looked back at her. "What?" I snapped.
"Why are you still so angry? I mean, you placed first in the sports festival. Isn't that an achievement? Isn't that something to be proud? But...you're not smiling."
I rolled his eyes. "Call that a victory?" I scoffed. "I didn't even do anything."
I thought of that move Icy Hot pulled against that damn nerd.
And then I thought of our match and how pathetic it had been.
I clenched my fists. Damn it...
"He didn't use his flames against me. He used them against that damn nerd but not me." I suddenly slammed my fist against the wall in fury. "He was but I wasn't worthy of his fire?!"
Nagai gasped and ran over, grabbing my wrist and yanking me away. "Don't do that! You'll hurt yourself!"
I stared at me. "What do you care?"
She didn't take her eyes off me. "Listen, I know that you're angry, I know that it mightn't seem fair but Sho-chan had his reasons." She inhaled shakily. "Like I had mine. I wish I could explain but that's not up to me. That's his choice. But throwing temper tantrums and punching walls and yelling at everyone...it's not going to earn you his respect. If you really want him to use his fire against you, then that's another reason to push yourself. Okay? Besides, that festival is pretty silly anyway."
I scowled and raised my eyebrows. How old is this girl? "Silly?"
She smiled bashfully. "Well, that mightn't be the best word but the sports festival is pretty dumb. It's not very practical or very fair. Fighting against villains in a completely barren place is pretty rare so that makes it tough on people like Uraraka whose quirks thrive on what the situation is. And then there's the layout of the matches. I mean, Tokoyami placed third but if he'd been drawn to play you instead of me in the first round, no one would have seen what he can do. And also..." she smiled at me. Not an embarrassed, goofy kind of smile. A real one. "The whole point of being a hero is to save people, right? Not going up against other heroes. In my opinion long as you're saving people, as long as you're helping lives, being number one doesn't really matter."
My eyes widened. What...
I let her words sink it and when I managed to find my voice, it was numb.
"Number one...doesn't matter to you?"
She looked down and smiled a little sadly. "I mean, picture it. You're the number one hero, you're the new All Might until you retire and then you die. Now, give that a hundred years. People remember you obviously but soon they'll be distracted by the new number one hero that arrives on the scene. Because that's just it. There'll always be a new number one hero to replace you when you're gone. Nothing lasts forever. But the people you save...they'll always remember you. They'll tell their children about you. You'll stay alive in their memories. Because you helped them." She giggled, closing her eyes as she did so. "At least, that's what I like to believe." She then turned around, giving me a little wave as she did so. "Well. See you."
"Wait!"
She stopped and turned back around, blinking her big brown eyes in surprise. "Huh? Something wrong?"
I let out a sigh before looking at her right in the eye. I kept my voice steady. "I know that you said you couldn't tell me Icy Hot's reasoning...but what about you?"
She stared at me. My face didn't change.
"Why'd you use your quirk against me? Was it a plan?"
She smiled then, looking back down at the ground as she shook her head. "No. I really wasn't going to...but when you told me you wanted me to give it my all...I don't even really know...but I then decided I was sick of hiding. I have a quirk and I want people to see it. I don't want to hide it anymore." She smiled at me, looking a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I can't really fully explain. But maybe someday you'll understand."
I noticed something then. "H-Hey, your hand!"
"Oh, it's just a scratch. The poor cat got a bit of a shock, I'm sure he didn't mean it."
I looked. "It'll get infected, stupid. You should do something about it later."
I looked back at her. She was examining the scratch on her hand. I looked away again, clearing my throat. "So, um, hey..."
"Huh? What is it, Bakugo?"
"After our match...why did you...you know..." oh, this was embarrassing. Why couldn't I just yell the words out like usual? I sighed. "Why did you hug me?"
"Hug you?"
I clenched my fists, giving her a death look. "Don't play dumb, you idiot, you know what I mean! After our match! You hugged me!"
"O-Oh, right, that!" She twiddled with her fingers, smiling bashfully. "Sorry, I'm a little forgetful."
"Well, why did you do it, out with it already!"
"Well..." she looked up to the sky in thought. "How to voice this...it's like...when you said you wanted me to fight...when you respected me enough not to hold back...and when I lost the match, I wasn't upset. If anything, I was happy I'd lost. I was happy I wasn't invincible. And then when I saw that while I'd done well, you still weren't hurt..."
Her face suddenly broke into a huge smile, positively glowing and shining with giddiness, the light of the cherry blossoms illuminating that little face of hers, her cheeks pinks and flushed with joy.
"It made me really happy!"
A warm wind.
A soft light from the sun.
A clear blue sky.
This warm wind blowing through my hair and making the blossoms dance before whirling off into the bright golden sun.
And Nagai's smiling face.
I have never seen her look quite like this.
She's right.
The sports festival is in the past.
It's a new day.
And it's a new beginning.
And she's here with me.