" Do you hate me, Sonara? " , he asked. His eyes expressing a blend of emotions.
" Hate you? " , she took some time to utter. Staring deeply into his sockets. Then looked up at the clear sky decked with ornamental stars.
" Even after everything I said about the impact you have on my life.....that day before the sea, at Worli, you still think I got hatred in store for you? "
" I too had said a lot about you that day. Remember?
Yet, the very day you had wanted to leave Raichand Mansion. Talked to Maya about doing so. Now, you are marrying someone and departing permanently. What do I make out of that, Ms Sonara Parvez? " , his voice firm and unwavering.
Just half an hour ago, at three in the night, she had found him standing before her room in the mansion. His eyes deep and voiceful. He had requested her to come along. At the urgent need of life. Taking up the sleeping baby in his arms.
Now, half an hour later, they stood on a cliff at Madh Island, the baby happily asleep on the backseat of the car, they just a distance away, near the edge of the cliff. The wind chilled to bones even in the month of November.
" That's because....your voice....your incomplete statements made me believe, your aquiantance, your growing attachment with me and vice versa, did not ultimately seem much comfortable to you. " , she uttered slowly but clearly.
She could feel his eyes boring through her skin from the sides, but she looked in front.
He shifted his gaze after sometime heaving a sigh.
" And that's quite justifiable. " , she added after a pause.
" You hate me. I know. " , he murmured.
She stared at him now. Her brows together.
" Seems you really wish for that. Will you be relieved, if it's hatred on my part? "
He smiled. A sad smile. Even with that, he looked beautiful. Achingly....beautiful. She looked away.
" But I, personally, would have hated someone like hell, if they proudly stuck to an ideal that hurt me, without even trying to test that on anyone else till date.
I would have hated them for sure! " , he murmured again.
Now it was she who smiled. And nodded sideways.
" Maybe I would do that too, if I saw that the particular individual not only spoke, but brought his ideals into actions, hurting me beyond repair.
But, have you ever done that to me, Jai?
Took to your ideals to hurt me deliberately? "
He stared deeply into her eyes. She too did not look away.
" I had never even tried shoving away the hatred that had been incorporated in me. I used to believe that all Muslims were..... " , he stopped because she raised her palm.
" You had already explained all these Jai, that day, before the sea.
It was you who said, everyone whom we meet, has a purpose to serve. Maybe it was my purpose to change your notion. And I....did that. Just, that. " , her voice quivered a bit.
" Yeah.
Just....that.
And so, you decide to leave me. Because, you are done serving your purpose in my life.
That's it, I guess? " , he titled his head and took her face in the grip of his eyes.
" I did not decide to leave, Jai.
You forced me. Not only me, but your sister as well. "
She stopped, she choked, her eyes welled up and streamed down. She just spoke what she should never have. Never ever.
" I.....forced you?
I forced.....my sister.... ??
How? For what? " , he almost whispered. His voice expressed more of a concern than surprise.
She pressed her lips, shut her eyes, and nodded slowly.
" Let it be. " , she only managed to say.
He scanned her face for quite a long time after that, searching for every possible answer.
Then, suddenly, conspicuously, unthinkingly, he blurted,
" Do you....love me Sonara? "
When her eyes met his, he could see a sea in them. A sea that produced rivers drowning her cheeks.
Their eyes locked in some spell, he couldn't shift his gaze from her magnetic face, nor did she try to either.
Suddenly, as if reviving some long lost thought, she shook herself out of the situation.
" How does that matter even? " , her voice sounded rough, nosy.
" You....really think it does not matter? " , he said as mutely as he could.
" Yes, I really think it does not matter, Mr Jai Prakash Raichand!
It does not matter, when it's not the other way round. It does not matter, because I don't have a choice, nor the eligibility to own you, if you do not want to own me! " , her voice cracked because she was failing to impact, she was falling upon herself. Her tears made her look helpless, weak, meek, but she had no choice than to let them flow.
He immediately grabbed her shoulders and made her face him. She did not look straight. She looked at the ground because her tears seemed a liability to her.
" And you....you...you could even believe that it is not the other way round...as well? " , he was choking as well, she knew.
She pushed away his hands from her shoulders.
" Of course! I had, I have every right to! "
He, lost all power at a go. Slowly turning away from her, he murmured, " You are right.... You are... so right....
How would you know when I never even... "
" It's not that easy, Jai !
Neither for you, nor for me.
Look at where you belong to. The castles.
Look at where I belong to. The streets.
Look at what ideals you have been brought up with, what ideals....your parents preach, that too, very dangerously. I know Jai, I have come to know more about that!
My life has not been a bed of roses Jai, that I will afford to happily, consciously, build castles on the sand, and make the prince mine in my dreams. " , she spoke in one breath.
And looked away in utter unacceptability of the web she was caught in.
He shut his eyes tight, as if sinking in each word she spoke, thoroughly.
He took in a long moment.
And then jerked out of it, in utter rage. Grabbing her tight by the shoulders again.
" Why do you have to remind yourself and me, that you belong somewhere different than I?
What do you wish to prove? That I don't have the right to reach upto you, to own you? That, I should not?
You had once talked of stepping out of comfort zones, boundaries. For someone at least!
Do you yourself have the courage to do that?
No. You don't.
All you can do is break my morale. Break my heart.
Time and again you have rushed out of my sight. Like a selfish human. Time and again you have made a fool out of my concern towards you. Time and again you have reminded me that I should consciously stay away, because I don't belong to where you do.
What do you try to prove Sonara Parvez?
That you are closer to the ground than I am?
That you are purer a version of mother earth?
That only you have got a heart, and I don't?
Tell me! TELL ME!! "
He pushed her away in a thrust, and cupped his face.
She was having hiccups, with every bit of feels forming a cobweb in her throat and letting her not a drop of air in.
Yet, she stepped ahead, and placed her hand on his shoulder. Because he vehemently needed her now. He vehemently had been needing her for quite sometime now. But life wasn't easy.
He immediately placed her palm on hers upon his shoulder. And turned around.
With his long fingers, he wiped off her tears. But couldn't control his own.
" You know everything Sonara! Don't you? "
" I do. Since a long time now. Much before you started knowing.
But a woman like me who has been abandoned by her own mother, isn't much courageous about life.
Most importantly, I can never be the reason of a crack in the unconditional relation that a father or a mother shares with their son.
I cannot do that. "
He cupped her face in his hands.
" Why do you even believe that a father cannot understand what his son desires with life? "
" My mother did not, for me.
Also, because I'm a Muslim.
I did not even cross an academic milestone.
I belong to the roads.
And your father is The Raghav Raichand. "
The dark clouds momentarily transferred from her face to his.
But immediately, they were wiped out by his heart rending smile.
He whispered,
" We will fight, Sonara.
Because, no matter who you try to prove you are, I love you. "
Her world shook. Her heart churned.
And her eyes showered.
She wasn't dreaming. But she feared she might be. He nodded a no, as if understanding what went on in her brains.
" Now, you just said you knew before I do. Why this overwhelm then? " , he smirked, still cupping her face.
She couldn't speak. Her emotions could not be expressed in words.
Today, just a moment back she realised, how desperately she craved for his love. How desperately she wanted him to own her, knowing to the last bit, that it was....almost impossible.
But now, with the sun slowly breaking its light on the east, she deciphered, that the man she had cried for, smiled with, wanted to hold hands of, meant so much more than what she had ever imagined.
She had got the peace of death, in the three words he had uttered after fighting hugely with his inner self, his external compulsions. Which meant that he did love her, and that he could not afford to lose her.
She hugged him, as tightly as she could. Dipping her head into his wide chest, as he embraced her. She whispered,
" I love you too, Jai.
You have made my existence worthwhile. I don't know what karma I carried along from the last life that you chose me. Thank you. Thank you so much. "
He whispered back,
" Don't indignify me that way Sonara!
I'm glad that a woman like you walked into my life, bringing the best out of me.
What you are, is what you sow. And you sowed seeds that grew trees of courage. The courage to listen to the heart.
Thank you, Sonara Parvez!
Thank you so very much! "
She came out of his hug.
The sky above had a vibrant shade of red, with the sun coming out of its sleep.
The color of love....
He looked into her eyes.
" Let's welcome, the breaking dawn into our lives.
The dawn that will bring tests to our love.
But will provide us the strength to overcome them. Equally.
Let's welcome, the Aurore. "