A/N: FALL OUT BOY HAS A NEW SONG! I'M IN LOVE AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
P.S. If you haven't read the last part (Cuddle Me Clifford) I would recommend you do. . . The statistics say that the reads dropped sixty from References. . . Btw, wow. Just wow. You people are committed. AND THE GIF FOR THIS CHAPTER *fans self with hand* Wooooo.
Carry on. xx
I was nervous to say the least, when a radio station called management and asked to interview me specifically. To be even more specific they wanted to talk about my sexuality in general, nothing about our music, nothing about our album.
"Stop worrying Mikey, I'll be sitting right next to you. I may not be able to talk or announce I'm there but I am." Calum tried to soothe on our car trip there. None of the 5SOS family were waiting outside for our arrival because the radio wouldn't announce the interview until Calum and I were already safely inside the building.
"What if they ask me a super personal question?" I exclaim, breathing heavily.
"What could they possibly ask you that no one knows?" He asks rhetorically, rolling his eyes and diverting his attention to the the framed and signed posters on the wall.
"They could ask if we're dating." My tone darkening at his carefree attitude.
His shoulders tense.
He pauses.
He takes a large breath.
He begins walking once again.
"Tell them the truth." He answers with a nonchalant shrug, as if he hadn't taken a moment to collect his thoughts, to understand the sheer impact of those words that were weighing down on my shoulders too.
"Tell them the truth?" I ask in disbelief, causing Calum to stop once again and look back at me. "What truth? I don't even know what we are." I continue loudly, throwing my arms up in the air to show him how ridiculous the idea is.
"We're friends. That's the truth." Calum shrugs again.
Ouch.
Just like that, it rolled so easily off his tongue.
That word. One word.
Just like that, my fantasy shattered.
Friends. We're friends.
Just like that, my heart shattered.
"You now what? I don't think I need you next to me during the interview." I hold my chin up high, as if it could deflect that word.
I straightened up, trying to repel that word.
I squared my shoulders, hoping that word would leave me alone.
I maintain eye contact with the boy that wrecked my dreams, hoping he could see the hurt that my face wouldn't give away. Not only the hurt but the defiance.
Friends.
I walk down the hall with a new found sense of pride, no longer needing the tanned boy to defend me from the world. I needed him to think the word didn't even faze me but at the same time I need him to realize
he
shattered
me.
Its weird how one word can stop your world and then play it in reverse, like the world is suddenly devolving, I've been demoted to a friend.
I waltzed into the room alone, leaving my friend behind.
"Today special guest, Michael Clifford, will join us to talk about himself, alone, nothing about music or the tour. Ten minutes until Michael joins us in the studio." The radio DJ announces, waving at me when I come into view.
"Planning on dying your hair a crazy color?" He asks, coming out of the booth to greet me.
"I don't know." I shrug, shaking is hand.
"Thanks for coming, my name is Gavin by the way." He gestures for me to join him in the studio.
I tug on a pair of headphones and sit in front of the microphone. Gavin explains somethings before heading over to his set up.
"Hello, this Gavin on 98.5 the radio. That was Don't Stop by 5 Seconds of Summer! Speaking of that Aussie boy band, Michael Clifford care to say hello?" Gavin's bored drawl changes into an excited radio voice.
"We aren't a boy band." I laugh, while sending out a quick tweet about my interview on the radio show.
"That's not a hello." Gavin jokingly scolds, "Michael Clifford from 5 Seconds of Summer will be answering some questions for us after this song."
Calum casually walks in the booth and pulls a chair right up against mine. As if I hadn't walked in the room a changed person one minute ago. As if I hadn't told him two minutes ago that I could go through the interview alone. As if he hadn't labeled me a friend three minutes ago.
I'm overreacting.
"I really like this song." Calum commented, being the first to speak since he entered the booth.
"Centuries by Fall Out Boy." Gavin answered the question I had yet to voice.
"That was number one on the hot 100." Gavin nearly sang, "Michael Clifford and-" Calum shook his he quickly delivering the message not to mention he's here with me.
Even though we're friends.
"-And I are at the studio as we speak, he agreed to answer a few personal questions that everyone has been dying to know." Gavin starts off the interview without taking a breath.
"So Michael.... Can I call you Mikey?" He asks with a chuckle, taking a sip from his water bottle as he waits for my reply.
Calum's head whips in my direction, waiting for me to say something. I might as well tattoo it on myself.
"No, only Calum can call me that." This answer caused Gavin to raise a single copper coloured eyebrow.
"Would you say you and Calum have a special relationship?" Gavin asks, looking from me to Calum questioningly.
"I'd definitely say we have something special that I don't have with any of the other guys in the band." I'm grasping on straws, trying to word what I have with Calum without implying that we are or I want us to be in a relationship and without saying friend because I don't think I could manage to spit it out.
"So you've recently come out of the closet, how long have you been hiding you're sexuality?" Gavin moves on, eyes flicking to Calum quickly before resting their gaze on me once again.
"I can't tell you when exactly I realized but my emotions for girl and for guys started to become confusing in high school." That's new information for everyone including Calum, I think my mum knew though.
Probably, she seems to know everything.
"Are you're band mates cool with you being attracted to boys?"
"Yeah, one of them was a little mad at the beginning but we've smoothed it out. They're completely okay with me."
"And the fans?" He inquires.
"If anything, most have them have become quite protective since I told everyone I'm gay."
"What can you tell me about the rumours that Calum is dating some mysterious girl named Jane?"
Calum has to slap a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing hysterically.
"They are false, Calum saved Jane from getting hit by a truck. Its more likely that Calum's dating Beyonce." I answer, letting out a quiet snort.
"If you were to date one of the members of your band which one would it be?"
"The one that plays guitar." I smirk, mentally high-fiving myself for the worst answer possible.
They can all play guitar.
Gavin doesn't know our band very well because he nods and continues firing off questions.
"You seem so down, what's wrong?" Gavin's question took me by surprise I wasn't aware he was paying attention.
After a long pause I give him a smile, "Heavy Metal broke my heart."
He didn't notice that my smile was broken too.
"Final Question." Gavin announces after twenty minutes and four song breaks. "There are pictures surfacing on the internet of you and Calum kissing. What are you guys?"
I fucking knew he'd ask this.
Calum's large hand squeezes my thigh and I notice for the first time how close he really was, I was nearly in his lap and he had himself pressed partly against my back. How hadn't I noticed? I can feel his steady breathing blowing my hair forward slightly.
Tell the truth, Calum's voice consumes my thoughts, rushing from my brain, blocking out my other thoughts, and up my throat, choking me, and finally into my mouth, sticking to my tongue in a hot jumbled mess of letters. I was having trouble breathing, the words restricting the air flow to my lungs.
Tell the truth.
Tell the truth.
Tell the truth.
I take a shallow breath, forcing the words out of my mouth so I can't back out. I close my eyes tightly, and open my mouth. Forcing sound out of my voice box. My brain registers exactly what I'm about to say, I'm about to say that word. Friends, the word feels like acid like my mouth, burning and churning and unpleasant.
Tell the truth.
Tell the truth.
Tell the truth.
Friends.
"We're dating."
My eyes pop open the size of watermelons and my hand flies over my mouth.
A/N: That gif of Michael is literally one of my favourites.
FUN FACT: I drew a picture of Michael and I am super proud of it even though his eyes are really big.
FUN FACT: All of the songs I've bought on iTunes are 5SOS and Centuries by Fall Out Boy
because we'll go down in hissttttooorrrryyyyyyyyyy.
My favourite line is "We are the poisoned youth." (Hence the title)
Oh what is this? A question of the chapter again. Why thank you Kayla. You're fucking welcome Kayla.
QUESTION: What is the background on your laptop/iPod/phone/etc? Describe it to me.
My Answer: My laptop background is Calum and Michael at the iTunes festival facing each other and laughing. My iPod lockscreen is a very simple picture of penguins flying through the clouds with red balloons.
Have a lovely day xx