When I wake up it takes me a few moments to realize I am still on the couch.
"Lauren?" I call out, untangling myself from the blanket and walk to our shared bedroom hoping that she will be in there. The room is empty and there is no answer. Where the hell is she?
I go back to the living room and snatch my phone off the back of the couch. Still no messages from her and it's seven in the morning. I call her but reach her voicemail and hang up. I storm around the kitchen and turn on the coffee pot before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. I am lucky I woke up on time because I fell asleep waiting on Lauren last night and didn't set my alarm. I never forget to set an alarm.
"Where are you?" I say aloud and step into the shower.
As I blow dry my hair, I go over the possible explanations for her absence. Last night I thought she just got caught up with her work since she has a lot to make up for or maybe she ran into someone she knew and the time slipped away from her. The most likely explanation is that she went to a party, I somehow know this is what happened. I was worried for a small amount of time, worried that maybe she was in an accident. The thought alone hurts too bad to even entertain. But no matter what excuse or story I conjure up in my mind, I know she is doing something she isn't supposed to. Everything was good between us last night and then she goes and stays out all night?
I put on one of my old black pencil skirts and a soft pink button up shirt, I am in no mood to wear a dress today.
By the time I get to Vance I am infuriated. Who the hell does she think she is to stay out all night without even telling me? Dinah raises her brow at me when I walk past the donut table without grabbing one but I give her my best fake smile and walk to my office. My morning passes in a daze, I read and reread the same page over and over without comprehending any of the words.
There is a knock on my door and my heart stops. I desperately hope it is Lauren regardless of how pissed I am at her. It's Dinah.
"Do you want to go get lunch with me?" She asks sweetly.
I almost decline her offer but sitting here obsessing over my girlfriends whereabouts is not helping me one bit.
"Sure." I smile.
We walk around the corner to a small cantina style Mexican restaurant. We re both shivering my the time we get inside and she asks to be seated close to a heater. The small table we are given is directly underneath a heater and we both raise our hands in the air to warm up.
"This weather is unforgiving." She rattles.
"I almost forgot how cold the winter is." I tell her. The seasons have blended together, I barely noticed fall slipping away.
"So.. how are things with Mrs. Bad Ass?" She asks with a laugh.
The server brings us chips and salsa and my stomach growls. I am not skipping my donut anymore.
"Well.." I debate whether or not to share my personal life with her. I don't have many friends, none really excluding Lucy whom I never see anymore. I stare at the ceiling covered in strings of beer bottle shaped lights and take a deep breath.
"Well, I am actually not sure how things are at the moment. Yesterday things were fine but then she stayed out last night. All night. It was our second night in the apartment and she just never came home." I explain.
"Wait.. wait.. back up. Okay so you two live together?" She gapes.
"Yea.. as of Tuesday." I try to smile.
"Okay, so then she just didn't come home last night?"
"Nope, she said she had to do some work and go by the library but then she didn't come home."
"And you don't think she's hurt or anything right?"
"No, I really don't." I feel as if I would somehow know if she wasn't okay, like we are tied together in some way that I would immediately feel it if she was hurt.
"She hasn't called?"
"Nope. Or text." I frown.
"I would have her balls if I were you. This is unacceptable." She states.
"Your food will be out shortly." The server tells us and disappears after filling up my water.
"I mean it, you have to make it clear that she can't behave this way otherwise she will keep doing it. The problem with people is that they are creatures of habit and if you let this be her habit, you'll never be able to break it. She needs to know from the start that you won't put up with this shit. She is lucky to have you and she needs to get her shit together." She states.
Something about her pep talk gives me more confidence in my anger. I should be pissed, I should "have her balls" as Dinah so subtly put it.
"How do I do that?" I ask and she laughs.
"Let her have it. Unless she has a damned good excuse which I am sure she is plotting right now, you let her have it the second she walks through that door. You deserve to be respected and if she isn't resecting you then you need to either make her or kick her to the curb."
"You make it sound so easy." I laugh.
"Oh it's far from easy but it has to be done." She laughs with me.
The rest of our lunch is filled with stories of her college life and how she has had her fare share of terrible relationships. Her blob bob sways back and forth as she shakes her head during almost every story. I find myself laughing so hard I have to dab the corners of my eyes. The food is delicious and I am glad I came out to lunch with her instead of sulking alone in my office.
By the time I leave I have gotten literally no work done so I take the manuscript home with me in hopes to make up for my lack of motivation today.
When I arrive back at the apartment Lauren's car isn't in the lot. My anger returns and I call her and cuss her out on her voicemail which surprisingly makes me feel a little better. I make myself a quick dinner and get my things ready for tomorrow. I can't believe tomorrow is Friday, the wedding is Saturday. What if she doesn't come back before then? She will. Won't she?
I somehow manage to get a good amount of work done.