Chapter Twelve
The Burden before Christmas
Edith’s POV
I had thought for a week about going to America with Freda and Michael and I had finally come to my conclusion. We were all sat in the parlour, biscuits and tea for everyone like usual and I was shaking from head to toe, scared of what they would say. “Freda, Michael, I do not think that I could go to America with you.” I muttered all my concentration on my cup of tea than their expressions.
A warm hand was placed on my shoulder that I recognised as Freda’s and looked up towards her face, small tears escaping my eyes. I wiped them away when I saw that she was crying as well, so I brought her into my embrace and mumbled how sorry I was about my decision.
Once she pulled away, she gave me a small smile, showing she was just as embarrassed as I was. “I am truly sorry. I just do not want to be away from my birth mother. She could be in Market tomorrow and I would have missed her because I would be sailing to America.” I told them, being as honest as I could.
She nodded her head, after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. “I – We understand Edith. Do not worry. We just did not want to leave you out.” She explained and I nodded to showed I understood that she cared about me, which I have known since she took me in.
“Edith.” Michael spoke. “Because you are not coming to America with us, we discussed if this was the outcome that Freda and I would like to give you this house. We both understand that we have not been in each other’s company that long, but we want you to be happy, whether you are with us or not and keeping you out of the horrid orphanage and off the streets is about as best as we can do. Freda has left a piece of paper on the kitchen counter that should explain how to upkeep this house. We have asked Mrs Green next door if she will help you if you do indeed get lost and she has agreed kindly to do so.” He explained and I got up and gave him a hug and peck on the cheek in thanks and gave Freda the same.
“Thank you for everything. I believe I do not deserve your kindness, so thank you again for everything.” I replied.
Michael stood up, stretching his legs and arms. “I am going to get an early night for tomorrow.” He told us both, before exiting the room.
Freda still sat there and once she heard their bedroom door shut, she turned towards me, concern covering her face. “Edith, is there any other reason as to why you are not coming with us?” She asked quietly and my mind went straight to William.
I nodded my head; she did not deserve to be lied to. “William. He is such a kind, nice man and although I know that I have no chance with him, he is a nice friend and I do not feel like abandoning him.” I told her. I do not think that she knows about his part in helping me get away from Lord Darlington’s house. I owe everything to him nearly and I do not want him to feel like I took him for granted.
She gave me a sad smile. “Edith, although I do want you and William to find happiness-“ my cheeks flushed with embarrassment at William and I being together “-but he is going to marry Charlotte Darlington in the New Year and although he may want different, his parents do not and William is a respectable young man, who will not do his mother and father wrong and cause them any embarrassment.” She pre-warned me and I felt like giving up. I knew that William and I had not a single chance, but when somebody else told me, it felt a lot worse and a lot more real, which was not a nice feeling.
I nodded my head. “Thank you, I will see you in the morning.” I smiled before exiting to my room.
The next morning, the atmosphere around the house was heavy. Freda and Michael were leaving for America today and I would officially be on my own in the world, at fourteen years old. Most girls my age or in service, not running their own house.
I walked into the parlour room after I had scrubbed my face to keep myself clean with the outdoor tap and sat down. Freda and Michael each had three suitcases between them, all piled up, ready to aboard the RMS Olympic, which was the largest ship to travel the waters of the ocean.
At eleven O’clock on 5th December 1911, we all made our way down to the docks, each carrying a suitcase. The ship was the largest ship I had ever seen and I stood looking at the magnificent ship for five minutes, struck with awe. “Are you going on there?” I asked, barely above a whisper as we moved closer in a group.
Michael nodded his head in a proud gesture. “We are indeed.”
For a few moments, I wondered what it would be like to go aboard her and to start a new life in America, the place they called the land of the free, where everything was better. I could meet a new man and fall in love that way, but I just could not bring myself to speak aloud and tell Freda my worries of running a house on my own, as she deserved this trip of a lifetime.
We said our last goodbyes and they both wandered onto the deck in the second class. I waited until she set off at twelve O’clock, waved at everyone who was waving flags and bunting and then made the short walk back to Freda’s – my – house.
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It was Christmas Eve and I have not seen William since Freda and Michael left for America. I knew what Christmas Eve was about, but I have never celebrated it. The orphanage told us that Father Christmas had a bad and good list and because our parents had died, we were on the bad list. We never received any gifts, like the children we saw wandering around the market. It was the same as every day: torture, except more so because our elders complained more.
I may have celebrated it when I had a family, but I cannot remember that part of my life and so I believe it did not happen.
A knock sounded at the door and I answered it, in the light snow, to see a man I had never seen before stood there. “Are you Miss Smith?” He asked and I nodded my head carefully. “I have a telegram for you.” He spoke before handing me the envelope and disappearing.
I closed the door behind me and sat down in front of the small fire. I opened up the envelope and read the telegram that told me it was from Freda and Michael, making a smile form on my lips because I had heard from them. It read:
To Edith,
I have sent this telegram to inform you of our safe return. I do not know when this will arrive as I have never sent one of there before. If you get this before Christmas, which I am hoping, I hope that you have a good Christmas and keep the fire going during the cold like I mentioned on the note I left you.
I hope Mrs Green is sticking to her promise also, and you are finding the upkeep of the house an easy task.
We both still wish you came, but respect your wishes. If you wish to send a telegram back, please send it to the New York Telegram office and we shall pick it up from there.
Love
Freda and Michael Chatterton.
On the back of the letter, there was an address for the telegram office in New York. It was hard to believe that I was holding a piece of paper all the way from New York. The world we live in currently, is moving forward at a fast pace and it is exciting to see and be a part of it.
I folded up the letter and placed it carefully back inside the envelope before placing it behind the dog ornament on top of the fireplace. I do wish I had gone to America now. I have no chance of ever finding my mother or father now. I had been at the orphanage where they thought I was, they will have no clues to my whereabouts and living in these conditions alone forever was a scary thought that kept me awake at night.
The running of this house is not as easy as it seems. Mrs Green is being as helpful as she can, but it is still not enough. Every spare moment I have, I dream about how better my life would have been if I went to America with Freda and Michael and had never discovered the letters my mother had sent from Paris.
After a few hours, the snow was getting heavier and heavier, a knock sounded at the door again. I answered the door to see William stood there. “Edith.” He breathed and I stood away from him. I do not want to be part of a scandal if he is marrying Charlotte, which I thought he had cancelled.
“Please do not come near me William. You are marrying Charlotte. Going against everything you do not want and I do not want to be known as home wrecker. I need this house.” I spoke, stood as far as I can away from him in the hallway as he stood on the doorstep in the snow and cold.
“Edith, I do not love her and I understand. I had just come round to give you your present from myself and to tell you that I still care for you a lot.” He spoke before handing me a small box and turning around and walking away from the house. I waited until I had seen him disappear from the street before picking up the small box and returning to the parlour room, where the warmth was. I opened up the box and found a small, delicate necklace with a diamond in the middle. It was tiny, but it glinted against the light of the fire and it was beautiful, too beautiful for me. A small note was found in the lid saying:
I love you and always will. I am sorry for what I am about to do.