I lived happily ever after for a few years with Gale. He helped me raise Ben to become the man he was today. He helped Ben get into a great college, they took trips on motorcycles together, and I honestly believed that Gale loved my son.
There was no doubt about it.
But life happened. Gale and Ben got into a motorcycle accident. Thankfully, Ben got away with a broken arm and a few bruises. Gale had not been as lucky. We spent weeks at the hospital with him, and eventually the doctors told us that there was nothing else to do. Gale had slipped into a coma, and his brain activity was no longer active so there was no chance he would come out of the coma again.Ben and I made the hard decision to let him go. It wasn't something that was easy for either one of us, but we made it together.
A few days later we had a funeral for Gale. Everyone showed up. Even Niall.
Ben's girlfriend also showed up. I didn't really like her, but was any mother supposed to like their son's girlfriends?
The funeral was beautiful, and people from all around the world showed up, people Gale and Ben had met on their travels and wanted to show their support. The house was filled with food and pastries weeks after the funeral.
Niall stayed in the house with us for a few days before he had to get back on the tour with Lorraine. It was kind of nice having Niall in the house with me and Ben. At the same time, it felt weird and as if I was trying to replace Gale.
After a while things got back to normal. Well, as normal as it could get without Gale. Everything in the house reminded me of him, and I could see that Ben was just as affected by it all.
Eventually, we decided to move.
We moved to a house a few blocks from where we had been living for the last couple or years. The house had these big black double doors by the front porch, and that's what I fell in love with.
Ben fell in love with the fact that there was a pool and a hot tub, and he said "Marissa sure will like this." and I quickly decided to put out those lamps that lit up in the middle of the night if someone walked past them.
The house also had a great back garden, with a path to a guest house. Ben decided that he would live in the guesthouse though, because it would be better with some privacy. I let him. He was after all old enough to decide for himself.
Ben had turned 18 just a few weeks after Gale's funeral. He didn't want to celebrate it though, so I had just let him be. He had ended up spending the night with his girlfriend, going to the movies.
Ben and I settled nicely in the new house. He wasn't home that much anymore because he was on his last year in the school of archeology. I wasn't completely sure what he was studying or what his degree would give him, but he insured me it was all worth it. I trusted him.
A year passed. I was now working on a different series. My show was cancelled after season 5 because we had some trouble with the cast. I still think the show got the ending it deserved.
At the end of it, a friend I had met whilst filming the show asked me if I wanted to come work with her on this other show she was directing. I read through their pilot and said yes. It was about a girl in a small town, who discoveres that her parents aren't her real parent's and it seems like the whole town is in on this huge kidnapping of her. We had a great cast and crew, and the show was getting high numbers each week.
The day I had dreaded for years eventually came. Ben's graduation. It was the 21st of June, and he was graduating from university. He had been studying since he was 16, at the same school. The year before he started uni, he had met Marissa and she was a year older than him. They had broken up last summer, and a few weeks later he introduced me to a girl called Lucy. He had been with Lucy for the last couple of months now, but I was sure she wasn't the only one because I had seen girls who looked nothing like Lucy sneak in and out of the guest house.
One night, I was standing in the kitchen drinking water and looking out the window when I saw a girl sneak out. She had stayed by the door and kissed Ben quickly but he had pulled her closer and continued kissing her. When she later left, I looked at Ben and he took his hand through his hair, just like his father always had when we were younger. He was so much like his father, it was uncanny.
Niall had called me a few days back and apologized for not being able to come to the graduation. I told him to apologize to Ben, not me. And 3 hours later, an angry Ben came and sat down for dinner.
But today was the day. My baby was graduating. He was 19 years old, and was graduating from university, and I couldn't believe that it was so long ago he was just running around in a diaper, asking for his pacifier.
The whole day started with me picking out a dress to wear. I decided on a light pink one, and a jeans jacket, and a pair of white heels. I curled my hair and put my makeup on. Then I went out to the guesthouse and knocked on the door. Ben yelled from inside to come in, and I opened the door and saw the mess my son was living in. There was clothes everywhere and I sighed,
"Ben I thought I asked you to clean up this place."
"You did, but I haven't found the time to." he said as he walked into the room whilst buttoning his white shirt.
"It's ok to wear a suit under the robe, right?"
"Of course it is."I said and helped him with the last buttons.
"Look baby, I'm really sorry your dad can't be here... you know how it is with the band and touring and all of that."
Ben nodded, and reached for his suit jacket, I helped him put it on and then I grabbed his hands,
"Bu tyou should know that we are both very proud of you. Studying for so many years, and graduating... now, if you could just learn how to clean up after yourself too, you'd be perfect."
I laughed and Ben did too, then he grabbed me and hugged me tightly.
"Thanks mum, for all of this. I'm proud of you as well."
I hugged my son tighter, and I didn't want to let go but then his phone rang and I was forced to let go of him.
He answered and it was his friends, waiting for him in the car outside.They were all going together. I let him go, then I took my car and drove to the school.
Graduation was being held outside. It was just like one of those films where they have white chairs, a stage with a red curtain and a podium from where the dean spoke.
All the parent's took their places on the chairs, and graduation started.
The children were sitting on the stage, and I could see how nervous Ben looked. He kept looking down on his hands, and I just wanted to take them and tell him that he was doing fine. Ben had unfortunately inherited my ability for anxiety attacks, and I didn't want him to have one right now.
The dean started making his speech, then he called up Ben's class and his classmates. There were about five or six people before Ben, but when it became his turn to walk the stage and get his diploma, a loud ear defening sound came from the parking lot. All of a sudden, a tour bus and about 15 motorcycles turned up. I recognized the men on the motorcycles as Gale's friends, and when the door to the tour bus opened, Niall and his band, with the rest of the crew, almost fell out.
Ben looked over at the parking lot with surprise, then at me with a questioning look and I shrugged my shoulders.
Soon, Niall was standing by the stage and said something I couldn't make out to the dean. Then the dean continued with giving the diplomas. When Ben got his, every single person from the bus and motorcycles were clapping and whistling, then Niall turned to them and put his finger over his mouth as to quiet them, then he turned to Ben again and nodded, that's when Ben took the string on top of his hat and moved it from one side to another, and the cheering started again. Ben looked down at his father with a proud look.
After a few seconds, Ben sat back down with a huge smile on his face. Niall walked over to me and I hugged him for what felt like way to short.
"What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't come!"
"Yeah well, we had some time before a show and basically everyone told me that if I missed Ben's graduation, I'd be fired. And Mick from the motorgang called me, asking when the graduation was, apparently he had tried getting in touch with you?"
"Oh... I changed my number again, I forgot to give it to him."
I looked at Niall, he looked so good. We were both older, we weren't teenagers any more and the world has left it's mark upon both of us, but to me, Niall would always be the most handsome man.
"I'm so glad you're here." I said, and hugged him again.
After Ben's graduation, we got back to the house where I had had John put up food and stuff to celebrate. Everyone joined, and when everyone had a glass of champagne, Mick wanted to make a toast so he stood up on the sofa table, thank god it was stable enough.
"So, here we are! Little Ben has graduated. Gosh, I could tell you some stories about this kid, but I'll settle for one since both his girlfriend and mother is here." He winked at me and I silently thanked him,
"I've known Ben since he was around 12. That's the first time he came out on a cycle with Gale, may he rest in peace."
Everyone said amen, then he continued,
"We took a trip to the mountains to sleep in the woods and I think it was the first time Ben did that. He was very nervous, mainly because he thought the bears would eat us. We later told him that there wasn't any bears in that part of the woods."
"Yeah but you waited to tell me until we were back home, I was frightened the whole trip!"
One couldn't tell that Ben was from England judging by his accent, but every once in a while when he said certain words, his british accent came through, as was the case with the word "frightened."
Everyone laughed, then Mick continued,
"Yeah, you were. It was hilarious. But none the less, you stepped up. You see, I had also brought my own son, William. Willie was 7 at the time and really looked up to Ben. One could see that Ben wasn't to pleased with having a seven year old following him when taking a piss and all of those things. Gale later talked to Ben and I don't know what he said, but for the rest of the trip, Ben took care om Willie as if he were his own brother. You've always been taking care of him since then, and we all regard you as family. Happy graduation, son. Take the world by storm." he raised his glass, "oh and cheers. Drink up!"
Everyone took a sip, then Mick started again,
"Oh and now, I think we all want to hear a speech from the man of the hour himself."
Everyone clapped, and Ben changed places with Mick.
I looked at my son, now standing on the table with a glass of champagne. He looked over at myself and Niall, and winked.
"Well, first I'd like to say thank you all for coming. And thanks mum for all the food and drinks. I never expected you all to come which I think showed from my reaction earlier."
Everyone laughed, remembering the shocked look on Ben's face.
"And in memory of Gale, I just want to say that what he told me on that trip has stayed with me all this time. He told me how all of you thought of each other as family, as brother's on bikes, and Willie was my brother, and I take care of my family."
He said before flashing a small smile, which I knew meant he was thinking about his sister.
"So most of you might not know this but I was born a twin, I had a baby sister but unfortunately she didn't survive and I was left to my own devices. All my life, I have had this feeling like something was missing on the right side of my body. Once I told my mother about this, she said that when we were still in the womb, my sister was always on my right side, and my parent's used to call her my right hand. I felt like reading archeology would give me a shot at discovering other people's right hands, quite literally."
You could hear Mick laugh, loudest of them all. It was one of those laughs that came from the pit of his stomach.
"Thanks Mick."
Ben said and continued his speech,
"Well, I guess I only have one more thing to say. I got offered a position doing some work for a big thing in Egypt, and I took the job. Thank you all for standing by me and-"
He continued speaking as I turned to Niall with a confused look,
"What job in Egypt?"
Niall shook his head, then everyone raised their glasses and I joined in, pretending to know what was going on.
Once Ben jumped down from the table, he came over to myself and Niall and gestured for us to follow him out to the garden, we did.
Both Niall and I looked at our son, newly graduated. His hair was the same colour as Niall's and if anyone ever had any doubts that Ben was Niall's son, they would change their mind once they saw them together like this.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, It just happened. Like literally." He took his phone up and showed us a text which told him he had gotten the job,
"But you didn't even tell me you were applying."
"Because it was such a long shot. There was about 500 applicants, and they only bring in 4 a year, 2 from the archeology section and 2 from the history section."
I looked at Ben, then at Niall. I wanted Niall to say something, but he just took his arm around Ben and embraced him in a hug. I clenched my jaw but when Niall let go of Ben, he told him to go inside.
And Ben went inside. I looked at Niall,
"Did you know about this?" I asked and Niall took a breath,
"I had a clue. We were speaking on skype one day and he got a call and he mentioned something about Egypt. I wasn't sure though."
"You could have told me."
"No I couldn't have, because I didn't know what I knew. Let's just get through this day and be happy for him."
Niall turned me slightly to my left so I was facing the windows that led into the livingroom, where Ben was chatting and laughing with all his friends and family.
"We made that. It might be his graduation, and his celebration, but wemade him so we have just as much to celebrate."
The words "we made that" had me thinking back to when I first got the call to move over to the states and work on the show. Niall and I had been at the playground with Ben, and as we watched him play, Niall had uttered the words. After he had said how weird it was that we weren't in love. And I had thought that he was only speaking for himself, of course I was still in love with him back then.
I felt Niall take my hand, and something happened inside of me. There was this rush, this powerful feeling of... well I wasn't sure what it was. I quickly took my hand away from his, and made my way back inside.
The party continued throughout the night and halfway til morning. A lot more speeches were given, including one from Ben's girlfriend Lucy. She seemed upset, probably because she had just found out her boyfriend was moving to Egypt.
Her speech was nice though, and one could see she really cared about Ben. Unfortunately, Ben had inherited his father's way of not wanting to settle down. I had spoken with him about it once, and he had told me that he knew what he was doing, and Lucy knew what she was in for. Apparently, you couldn't stop young love.
As the party was starting to die down, and Mick was half asleep on the sofa, I was cleaning up some glasses in the kitchen. Ben walked over and put his head on my shoulder. He had gotten taller than I, which was why I often wore heels when around him these days.
As he had his head on my shoulder and watched me dry a glass, he sighed.
"What's up, baby?" I asked and he smiled,
"I think I'm a bit drunk." he answered and I couldn't help but smile back at him,
"I think so too."
He then moved so he was leaning against the kitchen counter, still looking at me.
"Where's dad?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders, I had no idea.
"Mum, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, anything." I kept drying glasses,
"Why didn't you and dad ever get back together? What happened to break you up?"
I took a deep breath and looked at my son. Both Niall and I had told Ben that we weren't together because it hadn't been a good time. But that wasn't really the truth, and now my 19 year old kid wanted the truth.
I turned to him,
"When you were three, I fell in love with another man. Like really truly in love. I believe that was the point of no turning back. I was never the same after Eli, and your dad was never the same after everything he went through, and I put him through a lot. I was quite horrible, and I broke his trust I believe."
I put the glasses in the cabinets when I felt my son's hand on my shoulder, I looked at him and he shook his head,
"He still loves you, you know."
"And I love him, but it's not like it used to be."
"No, but it could be. He never met anyone else. All of these years, he was just...alone."
"He didn't meet someone else? I thought he met that girl whilst touring?"
Ben looked at me with his eyebrow raised,
"No, he didn't meet anyone else, trust me."
He said then hugged me tightly,
"I think I better go to bed, or I'll wake up with such a hangover." He said and laughed, I was sure he'd still wake up with a hangover.
Ben made his way out to his part of the house, with Lucy on his arm. The house as quiet now except for the music from the speakers. I turned it down to almost nothing, then I started cleaning around the livingroom.
I put a blanket on Mick, then grabbed the bottle he was holding in his hand. He almost didn't want to let go of it, but after some groaning, he let me take it as he turned to his side.
I walked back to the kitchen with my hands full of glasses when I saw Niall leaning against a wall, looking at me. He startled me, and I almost dropped the things I was carrying.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"I thought you left."
"Was just helping some people into cabs." He took some of the things off my hands and followed me into the kitchen. I started cleaning up, putting things into the dishwasher and he helped me. Once we finished in the kitchen, both of us took a black garbage bag and went around the house, collecting trash.
"So tonight was successful. Think Ben had a good time?" Niall asked and I nodded,
"Yeah I think he did. He seemed to enjoy the attention." I smiled at Niall, then continued,
"He said some crazy things." I said and Niall looked over at me,
"Yeah, like what?"
"He was asking about us, why we didn't work. Then told me you had been alone all these years." I said as I looked down at the floor, pretending that there was a lot more trash on the floor that had to be picked up, than there was.
I could feel Niall looking at me, so I looked up at him and he looked like a startled deer.
"He said that? That I was alone?" I nodded,
"I wasn't alone..."
"Okay, I didn't think you were."
"No but he did. Why would he say that?" I didn't know why.
"Maybe he just wanted to see how I reacted." I answered,
"And how did you react?" He continued and I shrugged ,
"I didn't." I said and heard Niall's bag drop to the floor, I looked up at him and he took a step closer to me,
"You didn't? At all?" He looked confused now and I felt a bit flustered as he kept walking towards me.
"I mean... he was drunk and I didn't think he...I don't know, Ni."
He kept walking and he was soon standing close enough for me to smell his cologne. I took a step back but hit the wall with my back, the hallway seemed to have gotten smaller...
"What are you doing?" I asked him, feeling like my stomach was about to burst open with butterflies,
"You were told I was all alone, and you didn't react, at all? You didn't feel anything?" he was whispering now, standing as close to me as he possibly could.
"I didn't... I felt...Niall I don't know what you want me to say." I said and upon finishing the sentence, I looked at him and he looked sad.
As if he had wanted me to react. He took a step back and then turned around and started walking down the hallway.
I looked at him walking away, and everything seemed to come back to me. The first time I saw him, when he moved in with me, all the nights I spent sleepless because he brought home very loud girls at times, but I also remembered the times we were up all night talking, kissing, making love, then ate our weight in chinese food. The time I slept in his bed because the power went out and I was freezing, the first time he told me he loved me, his look when I told him I was pregnant...everything rushed back into me, and I let go of the black bag so it hit the floor with a small noise of bottles crashing together, and I felt like I was running but I was probably just walking fast. I caught up with him, grabbed a hold of his arm and turned him around.
A second. I looked at him for a second, and he looked right back at me. Then our lips touched, and a million things happened inside of me. I felt myself get goosebumps, and his hands seemed to be electric upon him touching me. It felt as if the whole universe had been waiting on this particular second, and once it happened, everything just aligned in greatness.
I pulled away from the kiss and looked at him, he looked just like he had all those years ago when he kissed me before my first date.
No words were needed, he just grabbed my hand and walked us into my bedroom. Before slightly pushing me down onto the edge of my bed, he grabbed the hem of my dress and drew it over my head.
Then as I was sitting on the bed, he started unbuttoning his shirt, and I pulled him closer to me by his belt, and I started unbuckling it. His shirt was soon off and I sat up on my knees, caressing his chest with my hands, touching him like it was the first time all over again. He finished unbuckling his belt as I leaned in and kissed him on his chest, tracing my way down to his member.
Just before I put my hand on his boxers to pull him out, he stopped me and I looked up at him,
"I can't wait." he said, and pushed me backwards back into the bed. He quickly removed his boxers, got on top of me and pushed my panties aside. I moaned loudly, and he put one of his hands over my mouth and the other one down by the parts of me he knew, still knew, were most sensitive.
It didn't take me long, and as I came, I bit down on his hand. I could taste blood, but it didn't matter. Niall kept still inside of me as I came, and when I stopped orgasming, I let out a loud sigh.
Niall wasn't finished though. I drew his face closer to me by his hair and I kissed him on the lips, hard. Then I leaned to his ear and whispered,
"Fuck me like you mean it."
And from years of practice, he knew what I meant. He turned me around, put me up on my knees and hands, then pushed himself into me again. First both his hands were on my hips, but once he got a steady rhytm, his left hand grabbed hold of my hair and he pulled me up so he could kiss me on the neck whilst still fucking me. With one hand having a firm grip of my hair, he moved his other hand to the front of me and started rubbing me.
It didn't take long for me to feel another orgasm build up, and as I opened my eyes and looked forward, I saw us in the mirror.
Niall's head by my neck, kissing and biting me, his eyes closed and focusing.I saw the ecstasy begin to build in him aswell, and he leaned his head back a bit, opened his eyes and saw me looking at him through the mirror.
He smiled, a wicked and extremely sexy smile. We kept eye contact in the mirror as he kept fucking me, but it took only seconds until he came as well, driving me over the edge a second time.
He kept himself inside of me as he took his hand down and stroke over my pulsing vagina, where his cum was now dripping from. Then three of his fingers entered me as well, pulled out and then came up to my mouth. I didn't hesitate. We kept looking at each other in the mirror, and somehow it made everything more intense.
I licked his fingers clean, keeping eye contact with every swirl of the tongue. Niall was still inside of me, and I could feel him getting hard again.
That's when I turned around, making him get out of me. We both stood on our knees, and I looked down at his now hard member again, took a hold of it and leaned down.
Niall groaned and I started swirling my tongue around him.
The night didn't last very long. We were lying on the floor with a duvet covering half of me and half of him, as the sun started rising. I was lying on his chest, him with his arm around me. We were both naked and I had to fight every impulse in my body not to reach down and get him hard again.
But it was nice, just being there with him, smelling him, feeling him... it felt like home.
We were both quiet as we watched the sun rise from my bedroom floor. I had two big glass doors that lead out to a balcony, and the sun always rose perfectly alined with the windows.
Suddenly I got the sun in my eyes and I turned and looked up at Niall. He smiled as he gave me a light kiss on the nose. We didn't say anything. Nothing needed to be said.
Then there was a knock on the door,
"Mum! Dad! We made breakfast." We both heard Ben call out, and I took my hand infront of my mouth, laughing softly. Niall cleared his throat and called back,
"We'll be there in a minute." And then he looked down at me, and laughed as well.
"Kids..."He said and kissed me on the forehead then sat up. When he sat up, the duvet left me naked, and he looked right at me. One would have thought he had had enough throughout the night, but it didn't seem so.
He was now leaning his back against the edge of the bed, with the duvet covering his privates. I crawled over to him, and straddled him after removing the duvet. It was now around his knees instead, and I was covering his member.
I started rubbing myself against him and he grabbed a hold of my hips, leaned his head back and moaned lightly.
"You're driving me insane." he groaned and I stopped moving, which caused him to look up at me,
"Did I say you could stop?" he asked and I took my right hand down to his member and put him inside of me. He groaned again as I began moving up and down on him. He then took his hands to my face and pulled me towards him, kissing my lips, my neck, my cheeks, nibbling on my ears, all whilst I kept fucking him. I was close, and once he moved down to my breasts and started playing with my nipples with his tongue, I knew I was going to come again.
I took a hold of his hair, and he looked up at me with those puppy eyes, as if pleading me to come. And I did, and my orgasm brought his orgasm along, and we came again. Niall was the only person I had had the pleasure of coming in unison with, and it was magnificent.
As we came down from our highs, I was still on top of Niall with his throbbing member inside of me. I took hold of his hair again and kissed him,
"I don't want to leave this..." I said and made a small motion with my hips, and Niall smiled against my lips,
"I don't want you to."
and we kissed again, then just embraced each other for a few seconds before he spoke again,
"But our kid made breakfast, and that doesn't happen often..." he half whispered and I laughed, he was right. Ben making breakfast did not happen very often.
"Maybe we can continue this later?" He half asked, half told me, and I nodded. I definitely wanted to continue this later... and possibly for a very long time.
As Niall and I cleaned ourselves off and got dressed, we looked at each other and I felt like a teenager again when he smiled at me as he took his hand through his hair.
"After all this time, and you still know exactly what to do." I said and he took a step towards me, pulled me in by my waist and smirked,
"I never forgot."
He said and kissed me, then we and made our way down to the kitchen. The rest of the house was cleaned, Mick was gone from the sofa and all the glasses were where they belonged.
I looked questioning on my son as we entered the kitchen. Him and Lucywere sharing a pancake by the table.
"Who cleaned?" I asked and Ben looked at us, smiled, then gestured towards Lucy.
"She was up almost all night, couldn't sleep so she cleaned the house."
"I'm sorry if I crossed any bounderies, I just felt like doing something."
"A lady who cleans, and shares her food? You should hold on to this one, Ben." Niall said and sat down by the table, put a few pancakes on his plate and started eating.
I gestured for Ben to come with me to the other side of the kitchen, and he did.
Once we were stood by the stove, I could see that he had not turned it off and when I did it, he apologized for forgetting.
"So she cleaned, all night?" I asked and Ben nodded, looking cheeky.
"Does that mean... like did she clean the entire house?"
"Yes mother, she cleaned the entire house." He winked at me, put his hand on my shoulder and said, "And then she came back out to me and woke me up. Apparently there was some strange sounds coming from your bedroom."
"Did you come into the house or you... I mean..."
"Don't worry, I called dad's phone and we heard it from inside your room. Then we worked with our facts, and those are that both yours and dad's phone was in your bedroom which means-"
"I know what it means. You shouldn't have known though."
"Why not? Dad seems happy, you seem happy. I'm happy."
I looked at my son and he truly did seem happy. I remembered him this happy once before, when him and Sophie had been playing in our garden when he was three, and she had kissed him on the cheek. The smile that was on his face now, was the same as then.
"Ben, do you remember Sophie?" I asked and he frowned, shrugged his shoulders and shook his head,
"Not specifically. Just like a blonde haired little girl."
"Right."I smiled, hugged my son and then went back to the kitchen table with him.
Niall looked at us, his mouth filled with food. He swallowed then smiled at me, I smiled back and sat down next to him.
Perhaps, things were going to be alright.