(There will be a lot of jumping between pov's in this chapter, just so you know...okay, you're now allowed to keep on reading.)
I got a message from Michael late Sunday evening asking if I could join him, Emma, Calum and Ashton for lunch the day after. Of course I accepted. I had spent all weekend writing papers and texting Ashton. I needed to meet someone, to be social, like Ashton told me. He tried giving me some confident, told me everything was going to be okay and if I thought it was too big of a crowd, we could just go. Or run away, like I always do.
No. That time is over. I have to stop running, and face my problems, no matter how tough they may be.
Class today wasn’t that bad. Sarah wondered where I was all last week and when I told her I’d been sick, I think I heard someone say they were glad I felt better. Maybe I just overreacted last week? Maybe they don’t actually hated me? But it was still the best feeling in the world when class was over and I could get out of there. Because even if it was okay, I wasn’t okay. I still felt trapped and just waited for anyone to comment on something I did, for someone to tell me to disappear.
“Michael?” I furrow my eyebrows when I see Michael reach our table at The Diner.
“Yeah?” He takes a chair from another table and join us.
“Your hair…it…” I try to find the right words.
“Looks normal, yeah I know.”
I wasn’t going to say normal, but I guess ‘normal’ is the word Michael uses to describe other people’s hair colors. His hair is no longer red. It’s dark, not sure if it’s black or brown.
“It looks good,” I say and he smiles. “Why did you dye it?”
He shrugs. “Just felt like it.”
“When did you dye it?”
“Tuesday. I was…”
“Enough about hair dye. This is a tradition from now on. Everyone here HAS to be at The Diner every Monday at 11.45. Deal?” Emma interrupts and eyes every single one of us.
“Deal,” we all say in unison.
“Kyle can come too if he wants,” Emma adds and everyone agrees.
We’re sitting in a booth. Ashton on my right, Emma on my left. Next to Emma is Gavin and then Calum and Liza. Michael’s on the end. I haven’t seen Gavin since November, but he looks exactly the same. Same short snagged hair, same worn-out t-shirt. It took a while for him to remember me but when Ashton told me who I was, he started rambling about everything that has happened ever since. Emma tried getting him to shut up a couple of times but it didn’t help, and we got ourselves another laugh.
“You two are so cute,” Liza smiles at me and Ashton, making me blush and I look down on my plate. Emma said those words before, too, and my reaction was the same. Somehow it made me forget about everything bad that has happened.
“You really are. We should double date,” Calum winks at Ashton who shoots him a glare. His cheeks are slightly pink.
“Leave the two poor kids alone,” Emma says and throws a fry at Calum who picks it up and throws it back. “Hey!"
“You started it,” Calum pouts.
“You’re the kids here, not them,” Michael rolls his eyes.
He looks so different. If I didn’t know it was dyed, I’d guessed it was his natural hair color, that’s how good his hair looked. Still I wondered why he’d dyed it black/brown. I thought he was more into the colors of the rainbow – red, blue, green and so on.
It is quite nice, just having a normal conversation with these guys. Well normal if you include throwing fries, making faces and noises, Ashton holding my hand under the table, the rush through my body every time he laughs…Then it’s one of those normal lunches. It was like he didn’t care if we were in a room filled with people we both know and don’t know. Sure, he didn’t act like we were the only ones there, but sometimes it felt like it. Sometimes the others would just become blurry and he’d be the only one I saw. Is that normal?
There’s still one thing I’m waiting for him to ask. And even though my answer will be yes, I don’t know what will happen because I’ve never done it before. I’ve never…
“So what was the family emergency, Joselyn?” Michael suddenly asks and Ashton stiffens next to me. Everyone else by the table turns their eyes to me. Calum looks at Ashton and he mouths something, making Ashton nod. What’s that all about?
“Family emergency?” Emma frowns.
“Her grandma felt sick,” Ashton says before I’ve even opened my mouth.
“I asked Joselyn, not you.”
“Well, I answered. Deal with it,” Ashton snaps back and he squeezes my hand a little.
Gavin goes back to talking with anyone who’s listening, Emma and Liza in this case, and Michael’s staring down on his plate. Calum is looking at Ashton, like he’s debating whether or not to say anything. I look up at Ashton as he takes yet another fry. Did Ashton tell Calum? I don’t know how great friends they are but since he hasn’t told Michael, obviously, why would he tell Calum? Are they even greater friends?
“Sorry about your grandma, is she feeling better?” Michael asks, ignoring the glare from Ashton.
“Yeah, she is,” I say and Ashton turns his eyes to me. “Much better.”
We both know I’m not talking about my grandma.
“She doesn’t live here in Sydney, does she?”
“No, she lives back home. I mean,” I say without finishing the sentence and Michael nods like he understands.
I’m still calling Toronto for home even though Sydney is my home now. But I know it won’t be my home forever. Either dad’s going to move offices again real soon or I’m going to move out before it happens. I don’t have anything against Sydney. It’s quite a nice place, but I don’t know if this will be my future home.
ASHTON POV
Everyone around the table, except for Gavin, keeps sneaking looks at me and Joselyn. I know what they’re all thinking of because they know how I feel about her. Some more than others, *cough* Calum. If it weren’t for Luke this weekend he wouldn’t have known that much, even though he told me he already knew.
After the argument the other day, Luke, Calum and I chatted away for hours about Joselyn. Luke was still being a douche and made comments every now and then, but somehow I got the feeling like he understood. He told me he didn’t have anyone he liked at the moment and Calum couldn’t resist asking about Tania, which made Luke furious. He’s not one of those who forgets things like that. He hasn’t forgiven Michael and from the talk, I kind of figured it will take a while before he does. Luke knows, just like the rest of us, that Michael is no threat but he told us it was just the idea of it.
‘What would you do if someone else kissed your girlfriend?’
‘I’d kick his ass,’ Calum replied.
‘See! Yet you told me it was the wrong thing to do,’ Luke said.
‘It’s still wrong, but I understand.’
And that was when I realized I had done exactly the same thing. I was like Tania, kissing two different people. And once again I felt like an idiot, and both Calum and Luke told me to give it a rest. What surprised me the most was when Luke told me he would have done the same thing, kiss someone who really means something than someone you don’t even feel anything for. When he said that, we questioned him for the 11th time that night if he was sure he wasn’t drunk, because he just indirectly talked bad about his sister. Once again, he assured us he wasn’t and when he walked in to get us something to drink, he came out with a couple of bottles of Coca Cola.
The rest of the lunch goes in quite a fast speed. And I know Joselyn’s having a great time. She’s smiling and laughing along at all the jokes and talking, happening around us. I catch her looking at me from time to time, making me smile and electricity shoot through me whenever we touch, which is throughout the entire lunch since I’m holding her hand and our thighs are touching. I’m not afraid of her breaking down again, not here anyway. I know she is strong and I know she has become even stronger these past couple of days.
My body tenses when I take a look around the room and meet a pair of familiar icy blue eyes underneath some blonde hair by the bar.
Amy.
Her eyes dart between me and Joselyn. She doesn’t look pissed, as I thought she would be, but she’s not smiling either. She takes a sip through the straw in her drink, not breaking the eye contact. She raises an eyebrow at me when she puts the glass down and I nod, hoping I understood what she meant, what she asked for. She nods back before returning her attention to the guy next to her. His shoulders are broad, muscular, his hair dark. It must be Matt, the guy Luke was talking about. When I look at them, both smiling, I realize they look much more like a couple, more than Amy and I ever did. Matt really looks like he’s taken out of a magazine and I…well, I definitely don’t look like that.
I’m out of focus for a while, thinking about Amy and how she continues to glance over at our table. At one point I think she’s coming over to us. I wonder if Joselyn’s seen her. Probably not, or else she would have tensed up next to me.
“By the way, at what time does your dad leave work?”
Joselyn coughs and I frown at Michael. Why is he asking her about her dad? Do they know each other?
“Uhm, he’s usually home about 7,” she replies, choosing her words carefully.
“Alright, could you ask him if he got my note? I left it at his office last week and he hasn’t replied.”
“Sure,” Joselyn says, using her famous word. However, Joselyn is not sure.
I raise an eyebrow, but no one seems to notice. Am I the only one here thinking that was weird or am I the only one actually listening to this conversation?
“Here, let me take that,” Michael says and Joselyn lets go of my hand, grabs her plate and hands it to Michael.
“Thank you,” she replies and he gives her a small smile.
I feel her quickly grab my hand again under the table again, making me realize, once again, and that we’re actually not a couple. I just don’t know how to ask her. I’m nervous thinking about it. What if she says no? What if something else goes wrong?
JOSELYN POV
Michael was awfully nice during the lunch, kept asking me a bunch of questions. They weren’t that personal but some felt a little too close. Then he mentioned my dad and I really didn’t feel like replying at first. I don’t like talking about my parents because I don’t know what to say. It doesn’t matter if it’s a simple question like, how are they?. I don’t know how they are doing, why don’t you go ask them yourself?
I tried including Ashton a few times, but he zoned out for a bit. His gaze kept flickering but I never caught what he was flickering at, so I shrugged it off. I thought he was in a hurry at first, but when everyone finished their food and started to leave, we were the last two to go.
“Walk you home?”
“I drove here. It’s far too long to my house anyway. It would take all day,” I say and he chuckles.
“Walk you to your car?” He changes his question, smirking and I laugh.
I feel his hand grasp after mine as we walk out of The Diner and when I turn around to him, I can’t help but wrap my arms around him. I hold him tight, breathing him in. It’s hard to describe his smell, a mix between strawberries and summer. And Ashton, obviously.
“What was that?” He asks after we part.
“Just felt like giving you a hug,” I shrug.
“That didn’t feel like just any hug,” he says and I shrug again.
It wasn’t just any hug. It was a hug to show him how much he means to me. I did it spontaneous just to see his reaction and it was like I expected. He did the same as me, wrapping me under his arms.
He looks down on our feet and takes a deep breath.
“Joselyn?”
“Ashton?” I reply as dramatic and he chuckles.
“Uhm…there’s a thing I want to ask you. I’ve wanted to ask you for the longest time but this is the first time it actually feels right to ask you because there’s been a lot going on and…”
“Just get to the point, Ashton,” I cut him off from his rambling.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
-
ERMAHGERD HE ASKED HER! What do you think she will say?
Oh and a huge THANKS to EVERYONE who's reading Affection - it hit 30 000 reads!! :D