'Don't let me,
Don't let me,
Don't let me go.
Cause I'm tired of feeling alone.'
-----
I can't seem to form words as I stare at Isabel, her bright red lips settling into a smirk.
I finally swallow and nod, trying my best to smile. "H-hi," I stammer.
"Now, where were we?" Mr Adams asks.
I stare after Isabel, completely befuddled by her sudden appearance.
"Alaska?"
"Oh, sorry," I say, shaking my head.
"It's quite alright, you seem distracted. I must attend to this messgage, anyhow. We can continue our conversation another ttime."
He has no idea how thankful I am for that. I need to speak to Luke, and soon.
"Thank you," I say. "Just let me know."
He nods and smiles and I exit the office, eyes sweeping the complex for Isabel, but she is nowhere to be seen.
I need to get to Luke, quick. I've learned my lesson about not telling him things, and this is one damn important thing.
As I'm racing down the stairs to get back to our floor, someone grabs my wrist and jerks me to a halt.
"Going somewhere?"
I pull my wrist from Isabel's grasp as her lips stretch into a smirk.
"I... just back to work."
"In such a hurry?"
I swallow, my heart pumping fast from rushing down the stairs and Isabel's tantalizing stare.
I look Isabel over.
She stands with her arms crossed over her chest, her blonde wavy hair tumbling down her back. If the internet was correct, she's been to rehab and back. What the hell is she doing in Sydney?
"You know who I am, don't you?" She asks, and I nod.
She sigh. "Alright. If you've got a pen, I'll sign something for you, even though my agent told me to stay clear of fans."
I stare at her as she looks at me expectantly.
"Wait... you think I'm a fan?" I suddenly remember she was on a daytime soap opera. I almost laugh.
"How else would you know me?"
"I know you as the girl that broke Luke's heart," I say without even thinking.
Her eyes snap to me. "Excuse me?"
I take a step back. "Luke Hemmings," I say. "He was in love with you and you left him."
"Of course I know who you're talking about," she snaps.
"Well, you weren't acting like it," I say as I cross my arms over my chest, mirroring her stance. "And if you've come here to try and entice him again, you're going to have to go through me."
Isabel stares at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. I furrow my brows, watching her as her velvety laugh rings through the empty stairwell.
"Something funny?" I ask.
"I didn't come here to get Luke back, if that's what you're implying."
"Then why are you here?"
"I just got out of rehab for being a bloody alcoholic, and my agen tis forcing me to get a boring, mainstream job. So naturally, I come back to Capitol."
"Come back?"
"Oh, didn't Luke tell you?" She asks, smiling sarcastically. "Adams was my step father about two years ago, before my mother got divorced again."
"Hot many husbands has she had?"
"Seven, but that's not important," she says lightly, and I widen my eyes at the high number. "Adams gave me a job until I can stay sober long enough to return to the show, and until then some other actress who is way less pretty then me is taking my place."
A thought suddenly occurs to me.
Isabel could be the insider for Drew.
"How did you know Luke told me about you?" I ask.
"Since you're obviously his little girlfriend now, he must have told you," she says arrogantly. "I mean, I was his first love."
"What do you want from me?" I ask.
"What makes you think I want something?"
"Because you followed me down here."
"True."
I look at her expectantly. "Well?"
"I'm here to help you, actually."
I furrow my brow, confusedly.
"I know your involvement with code Ivory," she says. "And I want to be part of the rebellion."
I stare at her, wide eyed. "You're part of Blackwater?"
"Unfortunately, yes. I'm the one that sent Drew to find Luke at that party after I left, so Luke could start making some god damn money for once. I realize my mistake now, and you could say I'm in the same position as you."
"How do I know you're not the insider?"
She runs her tongue over her teeth, pausing for a moment. "So, you know about the insider too."
"How do you know all this?"
"I've been in Sydney for a month now, and I've attended meetings at Blackwater. It's obvious that someone has been listening in here, but I can assure you, it isn't me."
"If you've only been in Sydney for a month, howcome there was a different secretary here only a week or two ago?"
"Adams has two secretaries, and we have different days that we work."
"How do I know that I can trust you?"
"Why don't we just ask Luke?"
I clench my jaw. She stares at me, her brown eyes challenging.
"Fine," I say. "Why don't we ask Luke."
She smirks at me as I text Luke to meet me in the stairwell as soon as possible.
Minutes later, we hear footsteps and Luke climbs up to the landing.
As soon as his gaze lands on Isabel, his eyes widen and his skin pales.
Isabel smirks.
I see memories flashing before his eyes and it hurts. I know Isabel will always be with Luke in some sory of way, I mean, as she said, she was his first love. He will always be wary of love because of her, and she will always have some sort of control over him. I see this now as I helplessly look on as he utters her name in disbelief.
"Nice to see you're doing well, Luke," she says.
"What are you doing here?" He asks.
Isabel explains to him what she did to me, and I watch Luke's expression carefully.
Next to Isabel, I feel like nothing. She's so beautiful, and I know without a doubt I look like a lump of coal next to her shimmering eyes and golden blonde hair.
If Luke ever chooses her over me, I can't say I blame him.
"I'm on your side," Isabel says. "But your girlfriend here doesn't want to trust me."
Luke looks at me and I turn my gaze to the floor, my cheeks burning.
"I can't say I blame my girlfriend here," Luke replies and I look back at him.
And I see it.
I see that Luke would never go back to Isabel. Behind her beauty, she is damaged with alcoholism and bad commitment; with breaking hearts and smiling widely for flashing cameras that have done nothing but destroy her. Luke loves me, he does-- and I'd be a fool to ever doubt that.
Isabel rolls her eyes. "I can help you, you know. Drew still trusts me, unlike you."
Luke looks back at Isabel. "It's been a while since I've trusted you, Isabel, you're going to have to prove yourself.
She clenches her jaw. "Fine," she says. "I will." She turns on her heel and begins walking away. "Oh, and if you need me, I'll be in Adams' complex," she says over her shoulder as she climbs the stairs.
Her high heels echo through the stairwell and Luke and I are left alone.
I look back down at the floor.
I feel Luke's spft fingertips tilt my chin up to look at him.
"Are you alright?" He asks.
I nod.
"You don't seem alright."
I shrug, pulling away from his touch. "Isabel puts me on edge."
"She puts everyone on edge, that's just how she is," Luke pauses. "I have no fucking idea how to react to this, to be honest."
"I was thinking the same thing," I say.
Luke sighs, sticking his hands into his pockets. He suddenly looks back at me. "Alright," he says, shaking his head. "I know what's wrong."
"What?"
"You think I'm still in love with Isabel."
I shale my head. "No I don't."
"I don't love her anymore, Alaska. I love you, and only you."
"I know."
I smile at him as he brings my hand in his, bringing it to his soft lips.
"Isabel has nothing on you," he says in my ear as he tugs my body towards his.
"Please, she has everything on me."
Look looks at me, almost confusedly. "You're kidding, right?"
"No, why would I be?"
"Don't be insecure, you don't have a reason to be. Isabel is my past, but I can tell you that you're my present and my future, and that's how it will always be."
He says it with such confidence and assurance that I break into a smile, wrapping my arms around him tightly. He presses his lips to my hair softly, his chin resting on the top of my head.
We finally pull away and return to our floor to finish up the work day. The whole Isabel affair has tired me out and I would want nothing more than to take the rest of the day off, but I have missed enough already with my sickness and when I flew to Perth. I've always been one to have good attendance, anyway.
I focus back on my work once back at my desk, nodding to Calum who lifts his hand in a small wave.
Luke plops back into his seat, sighing. "What a lovely industrial office view," he says, leaning back and resting his hands behind his head. "I just love to stare at a grey wall all day."
I stifle a laugh and he catches it, and his humor is only fueled.
"Shut up, Luke," Calum says and I laugh, high fiving him across the table.
The rest of the day passes smoothly and soon Luke and I are walking back to my car.
"Can I drive?" Luke asks eagerly.
"What? No way."
"Come on, I've never driven a Mini Cooper before."
"Sucks to be you," I say as I unlock the car.
"Please, please, please."
I groan. "You're such a child."
He grins widely and I toss him the keys, switching sides with him.
"Whoa, you've got some great acceleration on this bsby," Luke says as we drive along. He zooms ahead, maneuvering the car expertly.
"Slow down, I don't want a ticket," I say.
"You won't get a ticket."
"If I do, you're paying for it."
He rolls his eyes. "You're paying," he mimics and I smack him on the arm.
We eat dinner with Emma at Luke's place, Luke going on and on about how I'm never going to let him drive me car again. Emma laughs lightly, obviously happy to see her brother not completely hating her guts at the moment.
It doesn't last long, however.
Luke puts down his fork half way through dinner and looks at Emma. "How long do you plan on staying here?"
Emma pales slightly. "I hadn't thought about it."
"Well, think about it."
I kick Luke under the table and he glares at me.
"Emma, you can stay as long as you like," I say. "You can stay with me, if worst comes to worst."
Luke shifts uncomfortably. "This isn't your descision, Alaska."
"Emma is my friend, if she needs a place to stay, she can stay with me."
"Emma isn't your friend."
"Yes, she is. And if you don't like it, tough shit."
Luke glares at me and Emma has a look of humor mixed with discomfort on her face.
"I'm done eating," Luke snaps, standing abruptly and walking to the kitchen with his plate in hand.
We wash the dishes in silence and after everything is put away I go back to my apartment. I can't understand why Luke is so cold to Emma when she is trying so hard to mend their relationship. It must be hurting him in some way, and I'm only trying to help.
I spend the night alone for the first time in ages, the matress seeming cool and empty without Luke's body next to me. A large part of me wants to sneak into his apartment and slide into bed with him, but I remain staionary in my own, empty bed.
Luke and I don't speak for the next two days, although I have no idea why. We didn't even really fight. It hurts, and I want to speak to him and fix things, but I haven't found the time.
The party is only three days away.
I bought my dress the other day, hoping to drag Luke along to get his opinion, but I never ended up calling him.
Isabel has made multiple appearances in our office complex, her pumps clicking on the marble as she talks to Andrea. I'm still wary lf her, and I don't think anything will change that.
On Wednesday night, I'm doing laundry downstairs when I hear music.
Not just any music-- a piano.
I have noticed a couple of times that there is an old piano in the lobby, but most of the time it's just little children that play on it, and no one really serious. But this music is something else.
I step out of the laundry room and peer at the music area. And there is Luke, moving his hands across the keys of the black instrument.
I recognize the song and am in complete awe at the complexity of it; his large, soft hands moving up and down the keyboard rapidly.
His expression is grave, his brow furrowed and his jaw clenched as he plays on, the piece not ending until three minutes later.
When he finishes, he brings his hands to his lap and takes a deep breath.
"Wow, I say from behind him and he turns around to look at me. "Chopin."
"You know that piece?"
"Yes, actually. Winter Wind Wtude." Luke looks impressed as he nods.
"I didn't know you played," I say.
He shrugs. "Not much anymore, but my mother made me play it when I was younger. I'm more into guitar now, myself."
"Well, I happen to know a bit of Chopin myself," I say, sitting beside him on the bench and reaching out to the keys.
I start the piece and become lost in it, as always. Luke watches, his blue eyes wide.
My fingers glide over the keys, my foot pushing down the damper pedal under the piano. My piece comes to a close shortly and I lean back, resting my hands on the back on the piano bench.
"Wow," Luke says.
"Do you recognize the piece?"
"Yes," Luke says smugly. "Nocturne in C sharp minor."
"Very good, Mr Hemmings," I tease.
"And you, Miss Andrews," He replies, a small smile spreading across his face.
"How long have you been playing?" I ask him.
"Since I was eight," he says. "Almost fifteen years, then."
I smirk. "I have you beat."
"Oh yeah?"
"Started when I was four."
He rolls his eyes and I lean on his shoulder, laughing.
His arm snakes around my waist and we sit like that for a while, staring at the piano.
"I'm sorry for being so pushy about Emma," I blurt.
"It's alright, you were right, in the end," he sighs. "She's staying with me for as long as she needs."
"I hated spending those days without you," I admit.
"So did I," he agrees. "It was pure hell."
I smile at him and he kisses my lips sweetly.
"Besides, we need to be united for the party," he says once we pull away.
I sigh. "I'm so nervous."
"I know. I am, too."
There's a short pause.
"I don't know you know any Mozart?" He asks.
"Of course I know Mozart, Luke," I scoff.
"Prove it."
"Alright, what should I play?"
"Turkish March."
"As you wish."
And for the rest of the night, we alternate playing random pieces, sometimes making up random pieces together, until Mr Wu steps out of the elevator and complains about us.
"My sincerest apologies, Mr Wu," Luke says.
"Sorry doesn't fix the fact that my wife left me," Mr We grumbles in his choppy accent and Luke gives him an odd look before I pull him into the elevator and we burst out laughing.
We watch The Big Bang Theory with Emma before falling asleep tangled with one another, Luke mumbling sleepily that he loves me before we both black out.
-
"It's time for work," Luke says, shaking me awake.
I make a noise that certainly doesn't sound like it came from a human and Luke laughs.
"Do I have to drag you out of bed?"
"If you touch me I will hit you in the nuts so hard you'll vomit."
"Harsh."
"You know it."
"Come one, let me see those beautiful dog shit coloured eyes of yours."
I giggle. "No."
"Allie, Allie." Luke climbs over me and digs his fingers into my sides, making me squeal loudly.
"Stop it, Lucifer!"
"See, now you're awake!"
"I'm not afraid to hit you in the--"
Within seconds he's off me, standing up next to the bed.
"That sure made you move fast," I giggle, sitting up in bed.
"Got to protect the baby maker, you know."
"God, gross, Luke. It's too early to make penis jokes."
"It's never too early for penis jokes."
I roll my eyes and get out of bed, grabbing my key and making my way back to my apartment.
"I'll be over in twenty!" Luke calls to me as I shut the door after bidding good morning to Emma.
Work passes as usual, Luke procrastinating and me attempting to focus. For some reason, I can't get my nightmares out of my mind, and I think about the party constantly.
Luke senses this as we stop for lunch at Nandos.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks me as he slips out of his coat, putting it across the back of his chair.
"The party," I say, sitting down.
I sigh as I eat some of my hot chips.
"Everything will turn out, don't worry," he says.
I shake my head. "I can't stop thinking of.. thinking of that gun."
Luke exhales slowly. "I should have never brought you into this," he says, putting down his knife and fork and putting his head in his hands.
"I brought myself into this, remember? I'm the one that followed you like a fucking idiot."
"You're not an idiot, you're just--"
"Curious," we both say at the same time.
We eat in silence for a bit, forks clinking against plates sounding in the air.
"We'll get through this," Luke says all of a sudden. "We'll get throught this, together. You and I."
I smile a bit. "You think so?"
"Yes, I do," he says, smiling back. "Because it's either both of us or neither of us, right?"
I reach across the table and intertwine our hands. "Right."