"Okay, now tell me who you fought with, was it Hayley?" I ask, afraid of her answer. I sit down at the end of the bed and she follows me, sitting towards the headboard.
"No, it wasn't Hayley. It was just a few random guys." She replies. Oh, I had assumed it was Hayley, I am relieved that it wasn't.
"Wait, a few? How many?"
"Three.. or four. I am not really sure." She laughs.
"It's not funny, why were you fighting anyway?"
"I don't know.. I was pissed that you left with Hayley and it seemed like a good idea at the time." She shrugs.
"Well it's not a good idea, and now look how busted up you are." I frown and she cocks her head to the side with a puzzled expression. "What?"
"Nothing.. come here." She says and holds her arms out to me. I move across the bed and sit in front of her, between her legs.
"I am sorry for the way I treated.. well treat you." She says quietly into my ear. A shiver runs through my body from her breath in my ear and her unforced apology.
"It's okay, well it's not okay. But I am going to give you one more chance." I tell her. I hope she doesn't make me regret it. I don't think I can handle anymore hot and cold from her.
"Thank you, I know I don't deserve it. But I am selfish enough to take it." She says, her mouth against my hair and wraps her arms around me. To sit with her like this feels foreign and nostalgic at the same time.
When I stay silent she turns my shoulders slightly to have me look at her. "What's wrong?" She asks.
"Nothing, I am just afraid that you will change your mind again." I admit. I want to dive into this head first, but I am afraid I will hit the bottom.
"I won't, I have never changed my mind. I just fought my feelings for you. I know you can't trust me but I want to earn your trust. I won't hurt you again." She promises and leans her forehead against mine.
"Please don't." I beg. I don't care how pathetic I sound.
"I love you, Camila." She breathes and my heart leaps out of my chest. The words sound perfect coming off of her lips and I would do anything to be able to hear them again.
"I love you, Lauren." This is the first time we have both openly said the words, I fight down my urge to panic over the idea that she may take them back again. Even if she does, I will always have the memory of how they sounded, how they made me feel.
'Say it again." She whispers and turns me around to face her. Her eyes are more vulnerable than I thought possible for her as I move to my knees, between her legs. I take her face in my hands and rub my thumbs over her perfect jaw. I can tell by her expression that she needs me to say it, over and over again. I will say it as many times as I have to until she believes that she is worthy of someone loving her.
"I love you." I repeat and cover her lips with my own. She hums in appreciation as her tongue grazes gently over mine. Kissing Lauren feels new and different each time, and she is like a drug that I can't get enough of. Her hands press against the small of my back, bringing our chests together. My mind is telling me to take it slow, to kiss her gently and to savor each second of this gentle calm between us. But my body is telling me to grab a fist full of her hair and pull her shirt over her head. Her lips travel down my jaw, and attach themselves onto my neck. That does it, I can't control myself anymore. This is us, all anger and passion and now love.
An involuntary moan escapes my lips and she groans against my neck, grabbing my waist and flipping us over so she is hovering over me. "I..have..missed you.. so much." She says in between sucking the skin on my neck. I can't keep my eyes open, it feels too good. She unzips my jacket and looks down at me with hungry eyes. She doesn't ask for my permission before tugging at the fabric, pulling my tank top up and over my head and she sucks in a sharp breath as I arch my back so she can unclasp my bra.
"I have missed your body.. the way you fit perfectly in my hand." She growls and palms my breasts, I moan again and she presses his lower body against mine. Both of our breathing is rapid and uncontrolled and I have never wanted her more. It seems our exchange of feelings hasn't changed the overwhelming passion between us, I am glad. Her hand glides down over my bare stomach and down to pop the button open on my jeans. As her fingers slide into my panties she gasps into my mouth, "I have missed how wet you always are for me" she expels. Her words do wicked things to me. I lift my hips again, begging for contact.
"What do you want Camila?" She breathes heavily into the crook of my neck.
"You." I answer before my mind can process what I just said. I know it is true, I want Lauren, in the most primal, deepest way possible. Her finger slides easily into me, and my head falls back against the pillow and she pumps in and out.
"I love to watch you, to see how good I make you feel." She says and I moan in response. My hands fist her t-shirt at her back. She has too many clothes on, but I can't form a coherent sentence to request for their removal. How do we go from 'I hate you' to 'I love you' to this? I don't care for the answer though, all I care about is the way she is making me feel, the way she always makes me feel. Het body slides down mine and she removes her hand from my pants, I whine from the loss of contact and she smiles. Her hands pull down my jeans and panties and I gesture to her fully clothed body.
'Undress." I say and she chuckles.
"Yes ma'am" she smirks and pulls her shirt over her head and takes off her bra, revealing her inked skin. I want to run my tongue along every single line on every single tattoo.
Before either of us can ruin the moment with words, I grab ahold of her hair and pull her face to mine. I kiss her briefly on her lips before kissing her neck, In my limited yet thorough experience in pleasuring Lauren, I know that the spot on her neck just above her collarbone drives her crazy. I plant wet and warm kisses against her neck, feeling her body jerk and tense as I lift my hips to her again. The feeling of her bare body on top of mine is exquisite. We are both already starting to sweat, despite the fact that we are both completely undressed. Lauren slowly rubs herself against me, moaning, is too much for me to resist.
"Lauren.." I moan as she rubs against me again.
"Yes baby?" She stops moving, I bring my heels to her thighs and force her to move again. Her eyes flutter closed. "Fuck." She moans.
"I want to.." I say.
"You want to what?" Her breath is hot and heavy against my clammy skin.
"I want to.. you know.. " I say, despite our intimate position right now I find myself embarrassed.
"Oh." She says. She stops moving again and stares into my eyes. She seems to be wagering some internal battle with herself. "I.. I don't know if that's a good idea.."
What? "Why?" I push her off of me. Here we go, again. I know Lauren has those kind of toys and I know she likes to use them with other girls so why not me?
"No.. no. baby. I just mean for tonight." She wraps her arms around me and puts me on my side, laying next to me. I can't look at her, I am too humiliated.
"Listen, look at me." She says, tilting my chin. "I want to, fuck do I want to. More than anything, trust me, but I .. I just think after everything today and.. I just want you to be ready. I mean all the way ready, because it's really not the same as fingers. You literally will not be a virgin anymore. You can't take it back." My humiliation eases and I look at her.
I know she is right, I know I need to think about this more, but I have a hard time believing that my answer will be any different tomorrow. I should think about it when I am not under the influence of her naked body grinding against mine.
"Don't be upset with me please, just think about it for a little while and if you are sure that's what you want to do, I will gladly fuck you. Over and over, when and where you want. I want to.."
"Okay! Okay!" I bring my hand up to cover her mouth. She laughs against my palm and shrugs her shoulders as if to say, "just saying".
When I remove my hand from her mouth, she playfully bites my palm and pulls me to her. "I guess I should put some clothes on so you aren't so tempted." She teases and I blush.
I can't decide which aspect of this is more surprising, the fact that I just suggested we have sex with a strap-on, or the fact that she actually has enough respect for me to turn me down.
"But first, let me make you feel good." She mutters and flips me back onto my back in one swift motion. Her mouth ducks down between my legs and within minutes, my legs are shaking and I am covering my mouth with my hand to keep myself from screaming her name.