A/N: Just echoing what I said on my other story. Thank you for staying!
***
"Fuck, I did it again," I muttered angrily under my breath right after the call with Rae ended.
"What did you do again?" Josh came sauntering in with bags of food that he set on the table. I was hungry before he left but after that awkward ending to the call with my woman, all appetite I had was long gone. "Oh, never mind, I think I know. But first, you have to eat. Rae will kill me if she found out you weren't eating properly."
I groaned and propped my head up on the counter with my hands and elbows at the mention of her name. Sideways, I can see Josh smirking knowingly. Sometimes, I really hate how this guy knows me so well.
"Ah," Josh mused. "What a curse and a blessing it is at the same time to know you so well, Sebastian Stan. It is about Rae, isn't it?"
I nod in concession and then proceed to tell him about Rae and I's last conversation. At some point while I was recounting what we talked about, Chris called via Facetime. I restarted my story and by the end of it, two pairs of annoyed eyes were looking at me.
"Um, he's all yours, Evans. I'll smack him later," Josh turned around and stepped out of the room. I return my gaze at Chris, hoping I wasn't looking as helpless as I felt. Chris' stare softened and my shoulders relaxed somewhat.
"Well," Chris began with a small shrug. "I guess that marriage proposal thing is happening then. You are so fucking hopeless, Sebastian."
He said the last bit with a smile and I couldn't help but smile helplessly at him as well. I don't know what I'm supposed to do these next few days and months, but with the anticipation of our baby, I knew that no matter what happened, the next step is to marry Rae already.
December couldn't have come fast enough but here I was nervously tapping my foot as I waited for my luggage to come by in the carousel that was churning out bag after bag of passengers who'd been on the flight with me. I purposefully didn't tell anyone when exactly I'd be coming home for Christmas and as I stood at the baggage carousel, I just hoped no one would recognize me right away and post it on social media. I wanted to surprise my girl. She was with the knowledge that I won't be arriving until the 20th, but by a good flick of fortune, filming for Monday wrapped two weeks earlier than expected and I raced to the airport and took the first flight that would bring me back home.
The flat was quiet when I got there. I took in a moment to admire what Rae had done. A handmade gold and silver wreath hung on the front door. When I stepped in, the small fireplace was adorned with green wreath sprinkled with little white lights. The threshold to the kitchen was also decorated similarly but for variety, there were little snow angels hanging in the arch. As I returned my gaze to the fireplace, it was then that I noticed the Christmas tree standing just beside it. More snow angels and snow flakes littered the tree along with miniature poinsettia flowers, taking my breath away. The apartment felt like home, all I needed to see now was...
"Sebastian?" I whipped my head to the direction of the voice and found my blushing fiancé to be gaping at me in surprise. My breath stopped momentarily as I took her in; Voltron fuzzy slippers covered her feet and she was wearing one of my oversized t-shirts, her bump visibly straining against the print of it. Hair haphazardly put in a bun over her head emphasizing the flush of her cheeks, pregnancy made her even more radiant than any make up could make her. She was right, I needed to see her with the baby bump, and good heavens, she was stunning.
I closed the gap between us in a few strides and wrapped her in the tightest embrace I could without squishing her bump. "Hey beautiful," I say to her in greeting. I bury my face in her neck and breathe her in. She shudders at the contact and it sends blood rushing to my groin. Jesus, if that didn't say how much I missed her, I don't know what else would.
Rae pulls slightly away but keeps her arms around my waist, as I do the same. "You're early!" she gasps out. "I thought you won't be in until after a week. Wait, no, don't explain. I don't care, you're already here and that's all that matters!"
My hands mindlessly travel down from her hands up to her neck to her cheek, causing her to let out a soft smile as she nuzzled my palm. She plants a feather like kiss before looking up to me with half lidded eyes, instantly charging the room with an energy I've wanted to feel for months. Re-closing the gap between us, I test if she feels the same way by kissing her gently on the lips but as soon as we touch, she grabs the back of my neck and tugs my bottom lip, allowing her to slide her tongue inside my mouth. I groan helplessly and slowly back her to the sofa, careful not push her too hard. We were both panting hard when the kiss temporarily broke.
"Are you sure?" I asked her, my voice gravelly with need. Rae heaved one last breath and grabbed my crotch, effectively letting me know what she wanted.
"OH. MY. GOD."
I let out a strangled slow groan as I pulled out of Rae and plopped flat on my back beside her. I snuck a glance at her beside me and she had her eyes closed, her torso heaving dramatically up and down as she came down from her orgasm. My fingers found their way to her bump and she jerked slightly when I started running little swirls and circles around her belly. She smiles and then lets out a giggle, clearly enjoying whatever it was I was doing to her.
"The girls were right, sex is way better when you're pregnant," Rae says in between breaths. "That was amazing."
I huff out a breath and lay on my side with my elbow propping me up.
"You're talking about our sex life to other people?" I ask, arching an eyebrow at her. My voice came out amused to my surprise; I was definitely thinking of a different emotion when I realized what she said.
"As if you don't to your friends?"
"I don't---"
Rae laughs, and it sounds like music to my ears. Geez, how can I be annoyed at her?
"I'm kidding. I'm not dumb enough to work in a celebrity magazine and blab about having sex with you. My private life is still mine."
I breathe a sigh of relief. In all honesty, I don't talk about our sex life to my friends either, even if it was to Chris or Chace. I'm not that dumb either.
That evening we found ourselves snuggling close to the fireplace, an unexpected rainfall hampering our plan to have dinner at one of Rae's Italian places. We settled for Chinese take out instead, the empty boxes now lying behind us on the coffee table while we get cozy in each other's arms as the fire crackled in front of us.
"Ugh, this is so much better than going out," Rae says contentedly as she pushes her back further against my chest. "Thank God for LA rain."
I smile and plant a kiss on her neck, feeling her shiver slightly at the contact. She hums quietly and we sit in silence for a few minutes. The lull in conversation brings me back to our last one prior to me coming home and my mood suddenly changes, remembering the smackdown I got from Chris. Much as I tried not to, Rae notices me stiffen ever so slightly and turns on her side to face me.
"Hey," she says softly. "You're gone in your head again aren't you? Talk to me."
"I'm sorry," I start off. Rae looks at me curiously but doesn't say anything.
"I just was thinking about our last conversation while I was still in Greece. About you thinking about...having more kids with me. That was a little unfair of me to assume, given the timing of our baby now."
Now it was her turn to stiffen up and avert her gaze from mine. Oh god, how much more can I fuck this up?! Rae takes a deep breath and joins our hands together on her lap. I can tell she was as nervous as I was.
"I...do want to have more kids with you. I've wholeheartedly accepted that this is my life now, you know? I knew being with you wasn't ever going to be conventional but I don't mind because I am with you. I just...," she trailed off and bit her cheek, clearly hesitating about telling me more of what's in her mind.
She was right, our relationship and the way we've gone about it was nothing normal. Was it that she was feeling unstable? Unanchored? I was always on the move, and here she was left alone with a growing baby inside of her and a demanding job. I feel the wind get knocked out of me when I realized what she was trying to tell me.
I told Rae to stay where she was and then got up to get something from our room. I was breathing heavily as I closed the door and had to calm myself down before retrieving the purple velvet box buried in my still unpacked suitcase. Taking a look at it one more time, I exhaled a breath upwards and hoped that this is what Rae wanted too.
My mind was racing a hundred miles a minute as I walked back to the living room. My breath stopped momentarily as I took in the sight of the mother of my future child; her hair up in a messy bun, face illuminated by the fire, highlighting the blush on her cheeks and the hazel of her eyes. She was looking down on her bump and quietly talking to our child. I put the ring box in my pocket and walk up to her.
"Oh," she says as I sit down beside her once more. "You okay?"
I nod and decide that this is it. I pull out the box and gently move her so that we were face to face. Her eyes widen upon seeing what I was holding up in front of her. From then on, everything seemed to slow down and be tuned out. I open the box and Rae's hands fly up to her mouth.
"I know these last few months have been really tough for you; me traveling all over for work, you launching a magazine, getting scrutinized for being 'Sebastian Stan's girlfriend' and to top it all off, you becoming pregnant alone. I swear I wanted none of that to happen. Knowing the life you've had, it should have been different with me. But I didn't make it any different and somehow made it a little harder."
"And it's unfair to you, you know? Ever since we got together you've always been my safe place, the stability I never knew I needed behind the black curtain but I haven't been that much to you. I don't know what else the future brings us, but I want to try and make things better for you. I love you so goddamn much and I want you to feel the same way you make me feel."
At that point, Rae was already sobbing her eyes out and I was struggling to keep my own voice steady and eyes dry.
"And I'm starting with this. You've been my anchor and so please let me be yours."
I pull Rae up to stand and I go back down on one knee with a smile on my face. Taking the ring out of the box, I slide it on her ring finger and ask her the million dollar question.
"Raezelle, my love, my life, please make me the luckiest man on earth and say yes to marrying me?"
My heart stops as it takes a few seconds for her to start nodding her head vigorously before whimpering out a 'yes' in between her sobs. She then pulls me up and jumps up to hug me while burying her face in my neck. I chuckle in relief and run my fingers up and down her back. I mouth a thank God and nuzzle my face in her neck as well.
"Oh my god," she says in disbelief while looking at her engagement ring. "Oh my god, Sebastian!"
"Are you happy?" I ask as I tilt her chin up to look at me. She nods and I envelope her in a hug again.
Rae San Rafael-Stan.
I like the sound of that.