I trusted my brain again. Bad idea. Big oof. Big no. Also MCYT has taken over my life and I became an apologist to an anarchist pig that blew up a nation 2 times, his totally not dad and a green homeless blob that bullied teens. I need help.
But hey! I bring another chapter! Finally! So enjoy I guess!
Sorry for all the fluff lovers, it's time to kick up the drama and angst!
8
Warning: this chapter will talk about some very heavy topics like death and abuse.
2nd POV.
You dragged yourself down the stairs, having not gotten much sleep the previous night. Your head felt like it was going to explode and your back felt as uncomfortable as ever.
With your wings almost fully gone, it was no surprise that you felt awful. You weren't even able to go on flights anymore with how small they had become.
The moment both you and Gaster were fearing was coming near and you weren't ready to say goodbye to your new found family yet.
Gaster obviously noticed your sour mood, taking worried glances at you every chance he could. It felt like your moping around wasn't just from your obvious wing lack. It was something deeper and he was going to see what.
Knowing that the matter probably has something to do with the god problem, he send Papyrus and Sans off to play with Asriel and Chara, knowing that the royal pair wouldn't mind taking care of the kids for a few hours.
He dressed them quickly with your help and teleported them over to the castle, just to be sure that they would make it there unhurt. Passing a quick glance towards the guards, his children were let in and soon he heard their laughs mixed with Chara's and Asriel's.
Gaster teleported back after that, finding you in the kitchen, mindlessly washing the dishes from breakfast.
"I won't even go about asking if you're okay, because you're clearly not. So what happened?" He asked, watching as you paused for a second, the plate in your hand dripping with water.
After a moment you let out a sigh, putting away the last plate and turning to face your lover.
"It's... It's the anniversary of a day I'd rather forget." You paused for a second, your eyes tearing up a little. "Of my death."
You shivered at the bad memories that resurfaced with those words, feeling sick on your stomach.
You saw Gaster look at you with wide eyes, his mouth agape as he struggled to find a way to respond to such a morbid thing.
Opting to offer you comfort instead, he opened up his arms, offering you a hug. You gladly accepted, quickly nuzzling into his shoulder, letting his warmth comfort you.
Gaster led you back to the couch and used one of his hands to find a blanket. Soon you found yourself snuggled to his side, a warm and fluffy blanket thrown over both of you.
"I- My death was by drowning" You started, wanting to finally share the story with someone you trust. It felt heavy on your chest, always bringing you down like a rock tied to your foot.
Gaster said nothing, but from how his grip tightened on you, you knew he was listening to your every word.
"You should know that HE doesn't choose people randomly. Their death has to mean something. A self sacrifice, death in war or saving someone. He looks down on anyone who dies in an 'unhonorable' way, as he calls it. My death- well, I guess it could count as saving someone."
The words flew quicker the deeper you got, the weight on your chest slowly releasing the hold it had on you.
"I was a peasant girl in a small village under the hold of some rich asshole who's name I don't remember anymore. I worked in the dirt with animals or crops, never noticed, never wanted to be taken by anyone. I had no status and thus, no chance of ever marrying and having a kid. So, I'd spend a lot of my free time playing with kids instead. And many years ago on this day, I was taking a stroll down a lake's shore. I heard a cry and when I looked to where the voice came from, a child was in the water. He clearly couldn't swim and was desperately trying to keep himself afloat. And so I acted out on impulse and jumped right in. I managed to push the kid over to a shallower end and he ran off, but the problem was-"
Gaster knew what you were going to say before you even spoke your next words.
"You didn't know how to swim either, didn't you?"
You gave him a nod, glancing down at your hands.
"I lost my consciousness soon enough and when I next woke up, I was faced with a winged human who I quicklt learned was an angel. Turns out my death counted as saving someone and I've been given the proposition to sacrifice my immediate after life in exchange for being an angel. You can guess what I chose."
Gaster's hand traveled to your hair, slowly stroking it to relax you.
"Do you regret that?" He asked, glancing down to look into your (e/c) eyes.
"No, no I don't now. Though at first, I did. The training is- well let's just say that it's harsher than it should be. Some would probably even call that abuse. Since we're still technically not alive, we didn't need much food or sleep to survive. And so, they would push me and other recruits to their absolute limits. We would get no rest and would get heavily punished for small mistakes."
Gaster's grip on you tightened again and you put your hand on his cheek to calm him down. He nuzzled into your hand, though his eyes still burned with anger.
"Hardening, is how he called it. 'Proving ourselves worthy to hold full powers of an angel'. After months, or years, who knows, time didn't really affect us then, we were seen as ready for the initiation. That was the worst part."
You took a small pause, collecting yourself when the memories of that dreaded initiation flooded your mind. It was no time for a breakdown.
"In HIS kingdom. There's an arena. After finishing your training, you are to fight against one of the generals. No one ever expects the newbies to win, for a good reason. We know we can't win that and so do they. We were timed instead. How long we manage to survive against one of the most powerful soldiers he has. I held my ground for a minute or two and apparently that was very impressive, because I got to be a general of my own squadron. It was small, consisting only of five other angels, but it was mine and I was satisfied with it."
You finished the story, taking a shaky breath. Memories of that day always hurt. You could almost feel the metal slicing against your skin again as you desperately tried to hold your ground for as long as possible.
Your breathing became shallow, your eyes watering as panic settled in your body. What if HE comes back for you? Would you really be good enough to protect your family? Were you really strong enough to beat HIM and HIS battalion if it comes to it?
Looking up, your eyes met Gaster's and he smiled at you warmly, giving you a forehead kiss to try to calm you down. He gently wiped the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes with his thumbs.
"It's okay (Y/n). The training is over. You're safe okay? You're safe here and I will protect you if he ever decides to try and hurt you again."
His tone was soft, his hand going back to caress your hair as you laid your head on his chest again, closing your eyes.
It felt safe.
You felt safe in his arms.
But the fear remained, hidden, but still there.
Fear, you hoped was never going to become the reality.
"A fallen angel, in the dark-"