"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?" Lauren asks as she finally breaks our kiss. She sits on my bed and I join her.
"Nothing, just studying." I feel nervous now, like there is some way I should be behaving now that we are.. more, but I have no clue what way that is.
"Cool." She says and clicks her tongue onto the roof of her mouth.
She seems nervous too, I am glad it isn't just me.
"Come here" Lauren beckons me and opens her arms. The moment I sit on her lap, the door opens and she groans. Lucy, Tristan and Noah all enter the room. They all stare at us and I climb off of Lauren and sit on the other side of the bed.
"So are you guys like fuck buddies now?" Noah asks and I squeak.
"No! We aren't" I tell them. I don't know what I should tell them, I will wait for Lauren to say something. She stays quiet as Tristan and Noah begin to talk to her about the party last night.
"It seems I didn't miss much." Lauren tells them and Noah shrugs.
"Until Molly gave us a strip show, she got completely naked, you should have been there." Noah tells Lauren. I cringe and look towards Lucy who is staring at Tristan, probably hoping he isn't going to comment on Molly being naked.
"Nothing I haven't seen before." Lauren smiles and I gasp then try to conceal it as a cough. She did not just say that. Her face falls, seeming to understand what she just did.
Maybe this was a terrible idea, it is already sort of awkward and now that everyone is in the room it is magnified. Why didn't she tell them we were dating? Are we dating? I don't really understand myself. I thought after her confession that we were but we never actually said we are. Maybe we don't need to? This uncertainty is already driving me crazy, the entire time I have been with Shawn I have never had to worry about his feelings for me. I never had to deal with ex- friends with benefits, I am the only girl Shawn has ever kissed in his life, and honestly I like it that way. I wish Lauren had never done anything with another girl, or less of them at least.
"We're going bowling after I change, do you want to come?" Lucy asks and I shake my head.
"I have to catch up on my studying, I have barely gotten any done this weekend." I tell her and look away as the memories of this weekend flood through my mind. When did Lauren make the plans to go, probably before everything that happened.
"You should come, it will be fun." Lauren offers but I shake my head. I really need to stay in, I was sort of hoping she would stay with me. Lucy steps into the closet and returns a few minutes later with different clothes on.
"Ready guys? You're sure you don't want to come?" She asks me and I nod.
"I'm sure." I tell her. They all get up to leave and Lauren gives me a wave and a small smile before exiting the room. I am a little disappointed with her goodbye, but what did I expect? For her to rush over and kiss me, tell me she would miss me? I laugh at the thought. I don't know if anything will even change between Lauren and I besides we will stop actively trying to avoid one another. I am too used to how things are with Shawn so I have no idea how this is going to be and I hate not having control over every situation.
After an hour of studying and attempting to take a nap, I grab my phone to text Lauren. Wait, I don't even have her number. I had never thought about it before, we have never talked on the phone or text before. We never needed to, we couldn't stand each other. This is going to be more complicated than I thought.
I call my mother to catch up with her, and mostly to see if Shawn has told her what happened yet. He would be arriving back home soon from his two hour drive, and I am sure he won't waste any time telling her everything. She answers with a simple hello, so I know she has no clue yet. I tell her about my attempt to get a car, and the possible internship with Vance. Of course, she reminds me that I have been at college over a month and I still haven't found a car. I roll my eyes and let her continue to ramble on about what she has been doing the last week. My phone lights up while I am listening to her, I place her on speakerphone and read the text.
*You should have came with us, with me.* The message reads. My heart swells, it's Lauren.
Pretending to listen to my mother I mumble ,"hmm.. oh.." a few times while I text her back.
*You should have stayed.* I send. I stare at the screen waiting for her to reply.
*I am coming to pick you up* She replies after what seems like forever.
*What? No, I don't want to go bowling, you're already there. Just stay.*
*I already left, be ready.* She is demanding even through a text message.
My mother is still talking and I have no idea what about. I stopped listening once Lauren texted me.
"Mom, I will call you back." I interrupt her.
"Why?" her tone is surprised.
"I uhm.. well I spilled coffee on my notes. I gotta go" I lie and hang up.
I hastily go into the closet and pull Lauren's pajamas off of my body and grab my new jeans and a plain purple top. I brush my hair out, it looks decent considering it hasn't been washed. I check the time and go down to the bathroom to brush my teeth, when I return Lauren is waiting on my bed.
"Where were you?" She asks.
"Brushing my teeth." I tell her and put my toiletry bag away.
"Ready?" She stands up and walks towards me. I half expect her to hug me, but she doesn't. She just moves to the door.
I nod and grab my purse and phone.
When we get to her car, she keeps the radio down as she drives. I really don't want to go to the bowling alley. I hate bowling, but I want to spend time with her. I don't like how co-dependent I already feel.
"How long do you think we will be there?" I ask after a few minutes of silence.
"I don't know..why?" She looks sideways at me.
"I don't know.. I don't really care for bowling."
"It won't be too bad. Everyone is there." She assures me. I hope everyone doesn't include part time hoe Molly.
"I guess." I mumble and look out the window.
"You don't want to go?" Her voice is quiet.
"Not really, that's why I said no the first time." I laugh a little.
"Let's go somewhere else then?"
"Where?" I am irritated with her, I am not sure why.
"My house." She suggests and I smile and nod. Her smiles grow, showing the dimples that I have grown so fond of.
"My house is it then." She reaches over and puts her hand on my thigh. My skin warms, and I put my hand over hers.
Fifteen minutes later we are pulling up the large fraternity house. I haven't been here since Lauren and I fought, as always, and I walked back to the dorms. She walks slightly ahead of me and leads me up the stairs, I am more familiar with this house than I should be. None of the guys bother to look twice at us, they must be used to seeing Lauren bring a girl home. My stomach pings at the thought. I need to stop thinking this way, because it is going to drive me insane and there is nothing I can do to change it.
"Here we are." Lauren says and unlocks her door. I follow her inside and she turns the light on, kicking her boots off her feet and onto the floor. She moves over to her bed and pats the spot next to her.
As I walk towards her, my curiosity gets the best of me. "Was Molly there? At the bowling alley?" I look out her window as I ask her.
"Yea, of course she was." She answers causally. "Why?"
I sit down on the soft bed and Lauren pulls me by my ankles loser to her. I laugh and slide closer, my back flat against the bed, putting my knees up and my feet on the other side of her legs.
"I was just wondering.." I tell her and she grins.
"She is always going to be around, she is a part our group." She informs me and I nod. I know it is silly of me to be this jealous of Molly, but she just bothers me. She acts like she likes me when I know she doesn't, and I know she likes Lauren. Now that we are.. whatever we are, I don't want her near my Lauren.
"You aren't like worried that I will fuck her are you?" I swat her arm at her use of words. I love the way dirty words sound coming off her lips, but not when she is involved.
"No, well I.. maybe. I just know you have before and I don't want you to again." I admit my jealousy. I am sure she is going to mock me or laugh so I turn my head sideways. Her hand goes to my knee and she squeezes gently.
"I wouldn't do that.. not now. Don't worry about her, okay?" Her words are gentle, and I believe her.
"Why didn't you tell anyone about us?" I know I should just shut my mouth but it has been bothering me.
"I don't know.. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to. Besides, what we do is our business. Not theirs." She explains. Her answer is much better than what was going through my mind.
"I guess you're right, I thought maybe you were embarrassed or something?" I say and she laughs.
"Why would I possibly be embarrassed by you? Look at you." Her eyes darken and she moves her hand to my stomach. Her fingers tug up my shirt and she draws circles on my bare skin with her digits. Goosebumps raise my skin and she smiles.
"I love the way your body responds to me." She breathes. I know what is coming next, and I can't wait.