name:- Falling Hard
word count:- 3500 words
published on:- 4th Feb, 2019
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*unedited*
N A N D I N I
"Manik?" I barely whispered. His eyes held the same shock as I did. "What are you doing in my house? Have you sabotaged in?" He asked, stepping away and I rolled my eyes at him.
"Yes, I was planning to rob it, but that bathroom... damn, I decided to take a shower first," I gave him a sarcastic smile, "You know, chori karne mein kitni mehnat lagti hai. And pakde gaye toh policestation ka bathroom bhi acha nahi hota. Toh I thought pehle shower hi le leti hu!"
"So funny. Joke tha? Hasu?" He asked, with a monster mode on. I battled my eyelashes at him. "Tum kaise hasoge? Tum toh monster ho na," I retorted.
"Yes, right, Monster hu! And monsters are bad men. Meine tumhaare saath kuch kar diya toh!" There was a sudden excitement in his voice as he stepped towards me, rubbing his hands together. My eyes widened and I took a step behind, realising I was just in my towel.
"Socho, mein aur tum akele, kisi ko pata bhi nahi chalega," naughtiness glanced in his eyes and if my eyes opened any wider, I'm sure they would pop out at any moment.
His hands slowly touched my waist, gently holding it and my heart heated faster than it ever has. "Manik, tum— mein— you— tum," I stammered but I could never form a sentence as he stepped closer and I was sandwiched between the wall and him.
"Yes, Nandini... me and you," he teased, a smirk on his face making his sinfully hot face look even more beautiful, if that was ever possible.
"Manik, tum— my voice kept drying in my throat and I kept forgetting what I was about to say when his lips were just an inch away from my cheeks, his hot breath fanning my face. My hands nervously held my towel from below, making sure it was in place.
I didn't want my towel to fall off and a scene it happen. Me standing in front of Manik Malhotra in my lingerie. Ew!
"Nandini," He said huskily and I shut my eyes tightly, scared. No Nandini, Manik is not such a boy. He wouldn't do anything. No hanky and no panky. Shh, don't panic.
"Manik, I—...," I whispered, stammering.
"Nandini, tumne iss baar nahi roka na, toh I swear mein kiss kar hi dunga," He whispered huskily, trying to control his laughter and I was brought back to my senses with a thud as if a sharp pain that broke my bubble.
I put some strength together and kept my hands on his chest, pushing him a little farther but his hand on my waist still kept us close. "No Manik, I know you won't do that," I told him, capturing his eyes.
"And why do you say that?" He asked, but the tease in his voice was so clear. I bit my lower lip.
"Because I trust you," I said slowly. The smirk on his face disappeared and he withdrew his hand from my waist, stepping away. Did I say something wrong?
He blinked at me a few times before smiling genuinely. "You should go inside and change," he said and I nodded, staring down before walking to my room and shutting the door, not before giving Manik one last glance.
As I shut the door of my new room staring at the clothes to select one, I found myself lost in what happened between me and Manik a few minutes ago. I couldn't stop replaying what happened and a small smile took over my lips. Something happens to me when he's near me, when he touches me, when he pulls me close to him. It's like I lose all my senses of right and wrong, as if all my confidence and my head just goes away somewhere and I blindly lead onto the heat of the moment.
Pushing the thoughts to the back of my mind, I pulled out a military green colour shirt romper and tied my hair in a messy knot. I wore my jet black shrug with it and walked out of the room, suddenly nervous to face him again.
When I went out, he wasn't there. Neither in the kitchen, nor in the living room. I was stepping out inside my room again when I saw him standing in the balcony of his room, sipping into a can.
Hesitatingly, I walked inside. "May I come?" I asked standing outside his balcony and he turned behind, acknowledging my presence.
"Oh you're already inside. Cut the formality and just walk in," he called and I didn't know if should be annoyed at his ego or say thanks to his cut the formality part. His ego is more confusing than him.
"Mr. Sahai, the broker, he called. He said I should be expecting my roommate tonight," he said and I nodded as realisation struck me. "We're roommates!" I repeated in shock.
"Weird coincidence," he said, nodding his head negatively. "Destiny," I smiled to myself, correcting him.
"Did you say something?" He asked and I nodded negatively, lying. If I tell him that I and him were destined to be in this house, he'd probably think of me as a mad woman or some mad one sided lover. What if he doesn't ever talk to me again thinking I'm his fangirl? Or even worse, what if he calls up Agra Mental Hospital and asks them to take me away? And that too just because I said destined? Not fucking happening.
"You're talking to yourself again," he said and my eyes snapped at him. "What? You think I've never noticed?" He sipped again and then offered me. I looked at the can that said Red Bull, and I took it from his hand, taking a sip. I was aware that he was drinking from the same can and my lips left a stain right over his, and even red bull seemed sweet because it was like I could taste his lips and not the drink. It made me feel crazy and brought me back to my first day in Mumbai, the day we kissed— or rather, he kissed me.
"We have attached balconies," I pointed out and he nodded, as we sat by the rails, with our feet dipping out. It was sunset, and the sun nearly took its dip in the horizon, leaving the last rays of light, the sky coloured in blues with stars beginning to shine.
"Its twilight," he says, pointing out at the sky as well and a smile takes over my lips as the first thought that comes gushing to my mind is of Edward and Bella, the two fictional characters that successfully kept my mind engaged on dark nights.
"Twilight," I repeated, "And it's beautiful. The sky is such an amazing phenomenon, it's so lovely to see how it turns from shades of rasp yellow to the lusty blue and then a husk purple littered with tiny silver stars," I glanced at him as he smiled staring at the faint appearances of the stars
"You love stars, don't you?" I had to ask, because there was something in the way his face lit up every time he stared at the night sky and his eyes shone as if they held galaxies in them.
"I do," he smiled, looking at me for a brief second and then looking up again, "I think I get this from my mother. When I was young, she often took be stargazing. And I feel there's so much to learn looking at them."
I waited for an explanation. "Stars are a dreamer's portal, every time you look at a night full of them, you can't help but dream. They're a constant reminder of how we must never stop chasing dreams. Then, they shine in darkness. That will tell you how it is okay to have bad pasta and broken hearts, even if it brings darkness because how will the stars ever shine without darkness. And the last, they bring hope," he smiles dreamily. "Stars bring hope to a better future, they'd keep reminding you that there will be a day when people will look at you in wonder and love the way they stare at Stars."
I couldn't stop staring at him. An evening full of city lights and faint stars, and I still stared at him, I stared at how his eyes shone with every word he spoke and the smile on his lips that reflected his heart of gold. He was so optimist, I think I could listen to his words forever. He was no writer but he weaved magic with his words and I craved for a little more every time I heard them. His words were my intoxication.
"That was so deep," I say, breaking away my stare upon him, "I don't think I'm ever going to look at them the same way, ever again," I tell and he laughed a slight chuckle.
"No, you must not change how you look at them for what I told you. Every person has a different way of looking at things. Tell me yours," he asks, bending his head towards me and his face shines under the half lit sky, making my head spin.
"I have no deep words to use like you, no unpopular opinions," I nodded negatively and he frowned. "Why?" He asks and I shrug, putting it away.
The truth was, I was afraid. I was afraid opening up to someone after years, I was afraid to keep my thoughts down; the thoughts that I had caged in my heart deep within myself. I was afraid to open that cage and give the key in the hands of him. It was not that I didn't trust him, it was rather that I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust what parts of me would I end up opening in front of him and I wanted no one to think of me as a damsel in distress because I am not, I am a warrior and I have fought until now, I will fight till later. But no matter how much you fight away, doesn't everyone have the one chapter in their lives that goes unspoken, that they don't read out loud?
I was afraid I'd speak that out. And I didn't want to.
"You're lying," he caught my eye and I immediately looked away, I was a terrible liar.
Before I could reply anything, Manik's phone rang. I couldn't help but peep in, as it says Cabir. He takes the call and steps inside his room to talk while I look back at the city lights, glowing like fireflies in dark purples.
My heart beats faster in my body, and I feel warm as the cold breeze hits me gently. Life felt perfect, but it wasn't. I knew I had responsibilities I was running from, and this sudden guilt of lying to Manik made me feel heavier. But that's how I have grown up to be, I hated taking risks by telling someone a part of me and then having my heart broken, and trust betrayed.
But there was this small corner of hope in my heart that was shouting to my mind— What if Manik was worth that risk?
"Cabir's got food poisoning, he says. I believe he had a last minute date with Navya or something, so they're cancelling the plan today." He said, "we're on our own for dinner. Should I call Mc. Donald's?" He asked and I nod, telling him my order which he placed through Swiggy.
He sits back beside me in a rough couple of minutes and I find myself still staring at the city lights, and a hover board catches my attention.
"I think I'm as fascinated with death as you are with stars," I say, after a minute of silence. From the corner of his eyes, I could see him smile slowly as he turned his face to look at me. His eyes held intensity I couldn't bear, so I continue staring at the surroundings, everywhere but at him.
I decided to take the risk. For him. "I've seen people dying around me since childhood, you know. I spent a lot of time thinking about death until a point that it doesn't scare me anymore, it amuses me. It's wonderous how people spend their entire life thinking about how they'd die when they're old but then there's this sudden moment that takes away your life and in that short few seconds, they think of everything they wanted to do but they couldn't, everything they wanted to say to people they love but they didn't. Why? Because they're scared. They're scared that they'd lose people if they say the wrong thing, they'd die if they take a wrong risk. People are so scared of death, that they forget to live life," I spoke my heart and then looked at him.
He was staring at me with an unfathomable expression and I stared back for a brief thirty seconds before a smile broke out on his face. "I know how grief feels like, it's hard. And I'm so happy, you didn't let the grief around you cover you. I like the fact that you didn't choose to be depressed, you chose to fight," he smiled and I smiled back at him, rubbing my arms with my palms as I felt cold; either from the breeze around, or from the way his words were affecting me.
"Stars aren't famous people. Any person who chooses to shine bright, fighting the darkness around them, they're stars," he said, as he poked my arm, "and you are a star too. And I'm proud of this star," he immediately lifted my mood and I giggled.
I stared at him and he stared at me. Eyelock could be a dangerous thing, especially if the hazel brown eyes you look into hold so much intensity and passion. Looking into someone's eyes has to be the most expressive thing ever, it's like looking into their soul and having a share in all the secrets they hide, it's like taking a look in their heart and read the thoughts they hide in their face. And Manik Malhotra's eyes spoke volumes for sure.
My thoughts were broken when the door bell rang, I immediately looked away from his addictive eyes, embarrassed, as he got up to open the door. A few minutes later, he got in a blanket and packets of foods. I gave him a goofy smile as he placed the blanket between us, sharing, and we opened the food. He took his wrap and I took my fries.
"You were speaking of grief like you know it of its own. You've seen someone you love die too?" I couldn't stop asking. "I have," He said, not meeting my eyes as if it almost hurt him already.
I knew what it was like looking at my parents die, it was a vulnerable feeling, the way my arms craved to be hugged by them, to listen to their voice one last time, to look at their eyes own one last time, to listen to them scold me, my mother's lullaby, the way my father sings, I wanted anything and everything of them one last time and all I got was silence in return. It was dreadful, as if there were waves slowly drowning me inside.
"Want to talk about it?" I asked. I knew it could be triggering for me to talk about my parents death again and again although I couldn't stop replaying it in my head every night before sleep. He nodded negatively, "kabhi aur", He said and I didn't push more.
Although, I couldn't help thinking who the person was. Maybe an ex-lover, because both his parents and family was alive; and if it would have been a friend, Mukti would have told me for sure. Death brings haunting pain and memories and I wish no one to go through the pain of a close one's death, although it is not ignorable.
"What's the craziest dream you have, related to love?" He asked suddenly as I nibbled on my fries. "I want to go to Disney Land with my boyfriend and click a Mickey Mouse—Minni Mouse picture," I said sheepishly. This was a silly dream of mine, since childhood.
"You?" I face towards him. "I want to try all different types of food and travel the world with her, you know... from fancy dinners at Paris, to stall foods in India, sab kuch!" His eyes glitters when he talks about food and I laugh. I wonder if I'll ever love anyone how much he loves food.
My phone rang in the corner and I knew it was Abhimanyu. I let the phone ring, I'd talk to him later at night. If he gets to know I am sitting in front of Manik talking about love, he'd freak out again and I was in no mood to freak my already freaked self more.
"Boyfriend?" He asked and I nodded negatively. "No, Abhi is—," I was cut out when his phone rang. "It's Mum," He said before taking the call and I nodded, looking away, giving him his own privacy.
After a few sentences, Manik forwarded the phone to me. I asked him what, and he replied, "she wants to talk to you," I give him a weird stare.
"Hello Mrs. Malhotra," I say over the phone, nervously. I hope Manik hasn't said something of me being his girlfriend like he lied a night or so before. "Nandini, Manik told you're his new roommate. We, me and his dad, would like to meet you personally. We want to know the beautiful girl he's living with, so we were wondering if we could see you tomorrow night, for dinner?" She asked and my heart skips a bat as anxiety hits me.
"Mrs. Malhotra— I—," I hesitated. I looked at Manik for help but he shrugged. Useless!
"Don't hesitate, we'd love to have you both over tomorrow. It's going to be just the both of you and us, please be our guest. You'd be at home, please," she said and I didn't have the heart to refuse anymore.
She immediately got excited and hyped. "Great, what would you have? Vegetarian is fine, right? And you have no allergies right? And and, Manik definitely knows the address to his house, come together and yes, please ask my son to treat you right!" She said and I could sense the smile on the phone.
"Sure, Mrs.Malhotra," I say, and we keep the phone after exchanging pleasantries and I looked to Manik. "She wants to see me!" I say, nervously and he laughs.
"Chill. My parents are the coolest people in this world, they're just going to meet you. Shaadi ke liye nahi le jaa raha!" He chuckled to himself and all the excitement and nervousness runs away as I glare at him. Jerk!
His phone, which was in between us, buzzed and my eyes flinched towards it in reflex to see a notification from Facebook. Inaaya has accepted your friend request.
I felt a sting inside me, which I rushed to the back of my mind calling it tiredness. It was late, hours passed with him like seconds and it was almost 11. It had been a long day and I was tired, and I also had to talk to Abhi. I yawned, as I got up. Not trying to show my disappointment, "Goodnight, see you kal?" I ask and he gives me a hi fi, waving.
As I walk back to my room, I was exiting the balcony when he called me, "Nandini?" I stop, turning towards him. I try giving him a small smile as he studied my expressions.
"Would you like to go on a date with me and my parents at their house?" He asks and I press my lips together, stopping the giggle.
"Sochungi," I teased, he squeezes his eyes and nose together and I imitate the same.
"I'll pick you up at seven," he says again, "from outside your room in our apartment."
"Bye" I reply. "Bye?" He asks and our conversation from yesterday comes back to me.
"Okay, Manik Malhotra" I say.
"Okay, babydoll," he repeats as I looked at him and he at me.
A lot of things changed today, a lot of things changed in my heart, I wasn't sure about anything but one.
I was falling for Manik Malhotra. I was falling for him harder than ever. And I could only hope that he would catch me.
~Love is good. Friendship is better. But friendship turning into love? That's the best~
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Picturesque:
Balcony:
Nandini's side
Manik's side
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