August's POV
I cried a lot hanggang sa naubusan na ata ako ng luha dahil wala na akong maiiyak na luha. Hindi ko rin alam na nakakapagod din pala ang umiyak. I was crying my heart out and I feel like my strength was drawn out from me. I feel like I was too exhausted and still the pain did not go away. I already experience this type of feeling before pero bakit mas matindi ngayon? I thought yun na ang pinakamasakit, pero bakit pakiramdam ko ngayon ay di ko siya kakayanin. Pakiramdam ko anytime, guguho na lang ako.
Naligo na lang ako at pagkatapos nun ay humiga. I don't feel like eating. I don't feel like going out. Pakiramdam ko ay pagod akong magsalita at mag-isip. I wanted to rest. I wanted to forget this awful feeling I am feeling right now.
I wonder how people can manage to fall asleep with a broken heart. Kasi tuwing pipikit ako mas lalong nagiging malinaw sa aking ala-ala ang mga nangyare kanina. I can hear knocks on my door but I don't have a plan on opening it. Wala ako sa mood para kumausap ng kahit na sino.
I forced myself to sleep even my heart was strained and aching. I hope when I woke up, this feeling is already gone.
•••
Misha's POV
"Hoy, anong nangyare? Nagkukulong si August sa kwarto niya." Tanong ko kay Lucas. Nasa living room kami ngayon nag-uusap. Wala akong ideya kung ano ang nangyare. Nagulat na lang ako ng katukin ko si August sa kuwarto niya ay di ito sumasagot at di ito lumalabas.
"I don't have any idea babe..." sagot naman ni Lucas and he shrugged.
Napasimangot naman ako rito. "Wala ka talagang kuwenta." Inis na saad ko rito at biglang nakita ko naman si Augusta na parang praning na naglalakad at nakakunot noo. "Augusta!" Tawag ko rito at napalingon naman ito sa amin.
Agad naman itong lumapit na parang di mapakali. "Misha..." saad nito and her voice is helpless.
Nagtaka naman ako rito pati na rin si Lucas na nagtatakang napatingin rito.
"Something wrong?" Tanong ni Lucas kay Augusta.
"It's about August.." saad nito at halata rito na hindi ito mapakali. "She was hu—"
"Oh hi! Augusta right?" Napatingin naman kami bigla sa pinangalingan ng boses mula sa pintuan.
Our eyes directed to a woman wearing a red dress and she looks beautiful walang halong biro. She looks so regal somehow.
"Ahm... yeah, Dani." Sagot naman ni Augusta na mukhang kilala ito.
Ngumiti naman ito at pumasok dito sa living room and she's raking her eyes towards us. "I was just touring the palace. I'm glad that I saw your friends here... by the way my name is Chelsey Rae Daniella but you can call me Dani, nice to meet you." Pakilala nito sa amin at tumabi ito kay Augusta. She's too beautiful, but somehow August is a bit ahead of her. August is beautiful without wearing make up and she's already on par with this woman who has a light make up. I am not being bias, I am just telling the truth.
"My name is Misha, and this is Lucas.... my boyfriend..." pakilala ko naman rito at pinakilala ko rin si Lucas na nakatiim bagang ito at nakakunot noong nakatingin kay Dani.
"Wow, a couple just like us. But by the way I will not take so much of your time, I still have to tour around. By the way it was nice seeing you all. Bye!" Paalam nito sa amin at umalis na ito sa living room na parang walang nangyare.
"Who was that girl?" Nagtatakang tanong ko kay Augusta after I was able to recover from that huge surprise. It's not everyday that someone will approach you in the palace to tour around. Si Lucas naman ay hindi nagsasalita. Parang malalim ang iniisip nito.
"As you heard, her name is Dani, and she's Cayden's fiancée." Sagot ni Augusta na ikinalaglag na panga ko.
"What?" Ulit ko dahil pakiramdam ko ay pinaglalaruan lang ako ng pandinig ko.
"Cayden is marrying her." Ulit ni Augusta na malinaw na malinaw sa aking pandinig.
Napatayo ako sa aking kinauupuan. "The fuck? Si Cayden? Sigurado ka ba? O baka nagkamali ka lang ng dinig?" It is hard for me to believe dahil alam ko na hindi yun magagawa ni Cayden.
Umiling si Augusta sa akin. "It happened before our very eyes Misha. August was there when they announced it." Saad nito na ngayon ay nanlalaki na ang mga mata ko. "I also can't believe it. I know that he loves August too much. He even left his duties as a prince to chase after August. I cannot see the reason as well why he's marrying someone else instead of her."
"That's the point." Sagot ko at napatingin ako kay Lucas na ngayon ay tila kay lalim ng iniisip. "At ikaw, may alam ka ba sa nangyayare?" Tanong ko rito dahil pinsan naman ito ni Cayden.
Umiling ito. "I don't know but I can only say that we better not involve ourselves to them as of now. We don't know the reason and Cayden won't do this without any reason." Sagot naman ni Lucas sa akin and he sounds like he's trying to calm me down with those positive words that are not even working.
"Reason? But he's fucking hurting my bestfriend! Kung ganito lang pala gagawin niya eh di sana in the first place hindi na niya hinabol habol pa si August. Sana tahimik ang buhay namin ngayon." Galit na saad ko rito. I know it is not Lucas fault but I am just venting out. "God, I prefer Reed than him. Mabuti pa si Reed, puro yung ikakasaya lang ni August ang inisip. Then him? Ilan beses na umiyak si August ng dahil sa kanya. Hindi naman siya ganun ka gwapo para iyakan."
"Ahm... I agree but Cayden is too handsome Misha. It's a fact." Saad naman ni Augusta sa akin.
I know but now, pangit siya sa paningin ko. Dahil ang lalaking nananakit ng babae ay isang panget.
"Just let them for now. Baka mas lalong lumala lang ang sitwasyon kung pati tayo makikisali." Saad naman ni Lucas.
Tinaasan ko naman ito ng kilay at namaywang ako. "And you're expecting me just to sit and watch? Baka nakakalimutan mo, bestfriend ko ang sinasaktan ng pinsan mong walang hiya." Galit na saad ko rito.
"I know, but August is grown up. She can handle herself. Have faith with August, dahil kung makikialam ka parang sinasabi mo na rin na wala kang tiwala na malalagpasan ito ni August." Sagot din naman ni Lucas sa akin. He was trying to make me understand.
I somehow understand pero hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang hindi mainis. "I know she will be able to go through with this, she's strong. But after this I swear to god, hanggang tingin na lang yan si Cayden—"
"Mama? I saw a giwl." Biglang pumasok naman si Emerald dito sa living room at patalon talon pa ito. "Who was that mama?" Lumapit ito kay Augusta at tumingin naman ito sa amin at ngumiti.
"Ah, what girl?" Tanong naman ni Augusta dahil hindi naman ito sigurado kung sino ang tinutukoy nito.
"A giwl in wed dwess." Sagot naman ni Emerald kay Augusta.
Naintindihan naman kaagad ni Augusta kung sino ang tinutukoy nito. Wala ng iba kundi ang Dani na yun.
"Ah that was Dani, your tito Cayden's fiancée." Sagot naman ni Augusta at di ko mapigilan ang hindi mapasimangot. Hearing the fiancée thingy makes my blood boil.
Bumaha naman ang pagkalito sa mukha ni Emerald? "What's a fiancée?" Tanong nito.
Sumagot naman agad si Augusta. "Fiancée mean a girl that your tito Cayden will be marrying."
Mas lalong nagtaka si Emerald. "Mawwy? Like mama and papa?" Tanong pa nito ulit.
Tumango naman si August. "Yes."
"How about tita August?" Tanong nito at halos mabilaukan naman ako. So this kid knows something is going on. I thought she only knows how to play.
"Ahh... Did you already do your homework?" Biglang pag-iiba ni Augusta ng usapan. Well I gree, because this topic is for grown up people, not for toddlers.
"I did, but I need to dwaw a flowew and I don't know how to do it." Sagot nito ng nakanguso pa.
"Oh, okay I will help you on drawing the flower. Let's go to our room." Saad nito at hinawakan na ito sa kamay si Emerald. Tumingin naman sa amin si Augusta at nagpaalam. "Mauuna na kami. Mamaya na lang." paalam nito at lumabas na ang dalawa sa living room.
"I can already see the dark clouds are coming." Saad ko na lang sa sarili ko.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Nagtatakang tanong sa akin ni Lucas.
Napatingin naman ako rito and I hissed. "I feel sorry for Cayden." Saad ko at tumayo na ako para umalis na din sa living room.
"Hey, what do you mean by that?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Lucas at humabol pa ito sa akin.
Hindi ko na ito sinagot at naglakad na ako at wala na akong pakialam kung saan man ako dalhin ng mga paa ko.
•••
August's POV
Nagising na lang ako dahil sa malalakas na katok mula sa pintuan. Napabangon ako kahit medyo nahihilo pa ako dahil sa antok. Hindi na ako nag abalang mag-ayos sa sarili dahil wala ako sa tamang huwisyo.
I am wearing a white night dress that only reach my mod thighs and these are the only available in the closet. Sabog din ang buhok ko and I opened the door without hesitation.
I almost stepped back when I saw Cayden standing in front of my door with his usual frown on his forehead. His eyes moved down to my body which made me uncomfortable. Kaya agad kong isinarado ang pintuan pero napigilan naman yun ni Cayden.
His eyes went to mine again and still I could not read anything. "They said you did not ate anything today." Saad nito sa akin.
I only stared at him and I don't have any plans to speak with him. I trained my eyes on somewhere and made a sigh implying that he's a disturbance or annoyance to me. Cayden is not that dumb not to know it.
"You need to eat August." Saad nito sa akin and he did not received any response from me.
I looked on the table that is reachable and I saw there are some cookies there so I pick one and I ate it. Hindi nakapagsalita si Cayden dahil sa inakto ko kaya sinamantala ko na ang pagkakataon at agad ko na isinarado ang pintuan at inilock.
I finished the cookie at pumunta na ako sa CR. I can hear again the loud knocks but I cannot hear his voice. Of course the room is sound proof. Kahit magsisisigaw pa siya sa labas ay hindi ko siya maririnig.
Nagtoothbrush ako at naghilamos. It is already night time. Mahaba ang naging tulog ko and even I just woke up, I wanted to sleep again. Kaya pagkatapos kong magtoothbrush at hilamos ay bumalik na ako sa kama ko at humiga. The loud knocks was no longer there and somehow, a whole in my heart is starting to spread wide.
K I N A B U K A S A N
Nagising akong mabigat pa rin ang pakiramdam ko. But somehow, it was lessen. Pumanhik na ako sa banyo para maligo. We need to pack right now dahil pupunta na kami sa Volks. Today is Sunday and tomorrow is the start of the class even though we entered a little bit late.
Pagkatapos kong maligo ay inihanda ko na ang mga gagamitin ko. Paano ba ito? Wala naman akong gamit na dala, but this belongs to me right? Kasi binigay na ang mga ito sa akin. Kaya hindi na na ako nagdalawang isip pa na mag-impake.
Mabilis akong natapos dahil sa mga damit na nakatupi na at inilagay ko na lang sa bag. Nagdala din ako ng shampoo at sabon. Nagkasya naman sila sa isang maleta doon. After packing up ay inilagay ko na ang maleta ko sa gilid ng pintuan para mas madali itong ilabas. Nakaramdam na rin ako ng gutom dahil isang cookie lang ang kinain ko kagabi.
Lumabas na lang ako sa kuwarto ko at pumanhik na ako sa malayong dining hall ng palasyo. Napatingin din ako sa oras sa aking relo at nakita ko na malapit na palang alas diyes ng umaga. Ala una ang alis namin papuntang Volks and we decided to take the car dahil talagang makakapatay na ako kung sa portal na naman kami dadaan.
Wala akong nakitang mga panauhin sa palasyo. Malamang si Misha ay busy sa pag-iimpake at milagro din na hindi ako nito ginugulo but somehow I already have an idea na alam na niya kung ano ang nangyare sa akin. Pumanhik na ako sa dining room at saktong wala naman kumakain dun pero may maids na naghihitay sa gilid.
Agad akong pinaghila ng upuan nito kaya hindi ko na yun tinanggihan at umupo na ako. They maneuvered the plates at inipisan din ako ng fresh orange juice. Buti pa dito fresh, kung sa akin to powdered juice lang okay na ako.
Kumuha na rin ako ng kanin at tsaka ulam. There are fried rice ham, bacon, hotdog and eggs. Lahat gusto ko kaya kinuha ko lahat. Hindi lahat-lahat dahil may natira naman. I did not ate anything kaya feeling ko ay isang taon akong hindi nakakain. I have a lot of empty space in my stomach that I need to fill in.
Somehow, for a brokenhearted girl, ako lang yata yung maganang magana kumain. Well, I did get through to that phase na hindi kumain but I decided to end it. Wala akong makukuhang benefits para magmukmok. Brokenhearted na nga ako, magkakasakit pa ako ng ulcer and even I cried so hard wala naman magbabago. Masakit pa rin, kahit anong gawin iyak ko. So I decided to stop, oo masakit pero kakayanin ko. I'm doing this for myself and not for anyone else.
A/N: charot! Mentality ko yan sa totoong buhay. One day is enough sa pag-eemote.
Masarap na masarap ang pagkain ko ng biglang may pumasok naman sa dining room. The people that I wanted to see the most showed up in time where I don't wanna see the most.
Cayden and Dani.
"You made me tired lastnight babe." Dinig kong saad ni Dani kay Cayden but I think hindi pa niya napapansin na nandito ako. She was busy clinging to Cayden and only looking at him. Biglang tumikhim naman si Cayden kaya napatingin sa akin si Dani at parang nagulat na pa ito. Pero yung gulat niya ay napalitan din naman ng ngiti. "Hi! Good morning August, you're having a late breakfast as well." Saad pa nito sa akin.
I stared at them blankly. Ang sakit nila sa mata that I wanted to look away but I wanted to show him that I am not weak. That I am okay. That he is nothing to me as well. His is what I am, once na nasaktan ako, madali din akong sumuko. Hindi ako yung tipong magpapakatanga para sa isang lalaki. If he wanted freedom, then I can give it to him in a silver platter. Ako yung tipong nagmamahal pero hindi magpapakagaga.
"It's brunch." Sagot ko rito then I continued eating. I wonder why the food change it's taste. It's no longer scrumptious to me but I have to finish them.
"Oh like breakfast and lunch? That's a good term actually." Saad nito at narinig ko na tumunog ang mga upuan kaya alam ko na umupo na rin ang dalawa. "Hey, I wanted to do it again with you Babe."
"Sure." Maikling sagot ni Cayden.
I cannot stop from frowning dahil sa sinabi ni Dani. Do it again? Pinagod siya kagabi? I can feel my jaws clenched. So this is what is it. May nangyayari na pala sa dalawa na hindi ko maibigay kay Cayden. Boys will be boys. I never thought na ganito lang din pala kababaw itong si Cayden. I am so glad that I did not give it to him. But I felt like I saw red everywhere but I contained myself. I know this feeling. I am having this green eyed monster within me. I am having deep breaths already just to contain myself and I was successful. I continued eating like I did not heard anything.
Daldal ng daldal si Dani kay Cayden and Cayden usually answered in his usual short and minimal answers. I did finish the food on my plate and drank the juice on the glass.
"August?" Biglang tawag sa akin ng hindi gaanong pamilyar sa akin na boses. A very cold voice and deep.
Nailagay ko ang baso ko sa lamesa at napatingin ako sa taong tumawag sa akin pangalan. Nagulat ako sa aking nakita. I was not expecting it but I did not see this coming as well.
"You done? I'll help you with the packing." Saad ulit nito and he smiled like a fucking model and will make everyone's knees tremble.
Vladimir.
_____________________________________________
Don't hate me. Don't hate me. Don't hate me.
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