January 23,2019
Letting him go may be the hardest thing for me to do at the moment..
But holding on to the pain he causes will only make me weaker in the long run, he will break everything in me and I may just let him.
Holding his hand may feel right but in the end that hand has done hurtful things, to break every bone in my body.
I can't help myself from loving him, but I can prevent myself from letting my feelings cloud up the vision of my reality. I can't let my heart get in the way of my feet because of I do, Foot prints will be left to scar over.
Those are the hardest scars to heal....
But in those moments of letting go of what has been holding me down will not cause happiness in the form of what I want, but it will bring indirect happiness-where I will no longer stress over things I can not change.
The happiness it will bring me it's the type where I can focus on my goals and not want to go back and time, to relive some feelings over again.
Letting him go breaks me.
But I know that I will be okay, because every single time I have been okay.
This time is no different from the last, other than this is permanent. And the actions I make now with the complicated pain, will make me ready to fight the same people who are now breaking me.
Letting him go hurts, and I think it will forever hurt.
Especially when his name lingers within me at all times, but I will learn to walk with ease with the demons who are now haunting me.
Soon indirect happiness will be the best kind, even if letting him go causes direct pain.