EARLY SPRING, 2014
Some things you just can't prepare for.
"Lou, baby!" Troy called, placing his keys on the island along with his work bag. "Come see daddy!"
Louis squealed, waddling into the kitchen. He giggled, looking up at his father from behind his stuffed koala bear. "'i, 'i, dahdee!"
The man smiled fondly, crouching down and opening his arms. "Come give daddy cuddles, angel."
Louis smiled, shaking his head and running out of the kitchen, giggling as he hid behind Gemma's legs, peeking out from behind them.
"Oh no! Where is my little angel? I think I lost him! Gemma, have you seen a cute little boy anywhere?" Troy asked the blonde woman, shielding his eyes with his hand as he looked around the living area. He checked behind the couch and even under Louis' toys, frowning deeply. "I wonder were he is. I was going to give him some sugar cookies from work, but I guess I'll have to eat them all by myself." He sighed.
Louis gasped, dropping his stuffy and running over to his father. "Dahdee, dah! 'i, 'i, 'i! I Lou!" The teen chanted.
Troy smiled, effortlessly picking up the boy and putting him over his shoulder. "There's my Lou!" He laughed, spinning the boy around. Louis giggled loudly, throwing his head back.
Gemma smiled at the pair, laughing along with them. Once Louis was put down, he immediately ran over to her, jumping into the woman's arms.
"Hi, baby," Gemma smiled, kissing his forehead.
"Thank you so much for watching him, Gem. I know it was extremely last minute. It means a lot to me. Are you sure you don't want anything?" Troy said, walking into the kitchen to grab his wallet. "Name your price."
Gemma shook her head, placing Louis in his high chair and handing him a piece of a cookie. "Don't worry about it, Troy. I love spending time with the little bug. He is the cutest, the little brother I wish I had but I was stuck with Harry instead," she teased, glancing back at her neighbor.
"I insist," Troy pushed, handing her three £20 notes. "Thank you."
Gemma rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically as she took the notes. "Thanks." She smiled.
Troy nodded happily, looking over at his son, who was munching on the cookie. He leaned to the side, coughing into his elbow roughly. Suddenly, his vision blurred, and dizziness took over. He blindly reached his hand out to grab onto the island, coughing into his hand.
Gemma frowned, stepping closer to the man. "Troy... are you okay?"
The man glanced down at his hand, watching as the red blood darkened his skin.
"Oh my god! Troy!"
• • •
SUMMER, 2014
"Never say goodbye,
because saying goodbye means going away,
and going away means forgetting."
–Peter Pan
The steady beat of the heart monitor echoed through the room. A man laid still in the stiff, lumpy bed, watching the small TV in the corner of the room as it played a colorful cartoon. He glanced over at the small sitting area,— that was comprised of one chair— seeing his only son coloring in a book on the side table.
"Go 'ome, dah?" The boy questioned, looking at his father through his eyelashes.
The man shook his head gently, willing away the tears in his eyes. A jolt of pain shot through his head, spreading down his spine. "N-no angel. Daddy is staying here, Gemma is gonna take you to Nana's." He said weakly, sniffling as he looked at all the machines hooked up to him.
Louis pouted when his father didn't give him enough attention. He got up from the chair and walked over to the bed. He grabbed onto the guardrail and lifted himself onto the mattress, cuddling into Troy's side. "Dahdee otay?" He whispered.
The cancer was spreading quickly, quicker than the doctors thought. It was taking over his life. He's getting weaker. It's harder to stand, to breathe, to eat. He can't do anything on his own anymore.
The pain is unbearable. Every night, when Louis leaves with Jay's parents, the man cries within the darkness of the cramped room.
He cries because of his son. Louis will never get the future he deserves. Louis will never get to live a normal life.
He cries because of Jay. Despite everything, if she was here, she'd be able to care for their son. She would make sure he is safe, since Troy won't be able to anymore.
And lastly, he cries for himself. He cries because there is nothing more he can do. He fought as hard as he could, as hard as his body would allow— for Louis, for himself— and he can't do it anymore.
He doesn't know how much longer he will be able to hold on.
Troy slowly lifted his arm, wrapping it around the small boy. He took a deep breath.
"I want you to know I love you, Louis. You have always been the most important thing in my life. Even when I'm not here anymore, even when I'm far, far away from here, I'm going to be watching over you; making sure you are okay, making sure you are safe. When you were very young, when your mother left, I promised you I would take care of you. I promised myself I would never allow the cruel world to hurt you. I don't want to break that promise." He croaked, tears creating tracks down his pale, gray skin. The heart monitor picked up, beeping louder as the man's breath quickened— searching for air. Fear overtook him, and he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.
"Mark is going to take care of you. You are going to live with him and your sister, Charlotte. They will protect you in ways I will no longer be able to. They will help you bloom into the beautiful flower I know you will be-become," Troy whispered, gently brushing his fingers against Louis' cheek.
The boy was looking at him with curiosity shining in his blue eyes. "Dahdee?"
Troy smiled gently at the boy behind blurry eyes. "Daddy loves you so, so much, angel. I'm sorry I can no longer protect you." He said, eyes slowly shutting as the pain worsened and it got harder for him to breathe. "Daddy will watch out for you, up there, baby. I'll never leave you."
Louis frowned, watching as his father's eyes shut. "Dahdee no sweep. Cuddle wi' 'Ou!" He said, shaking the man's shoulders. "No no, dahdee," the boy whimpered, eyebrows furrowing as his eyes clouded with tears. "Dahdee!" He cried. "Up, dah, up!"
The deafening sound of the heart monitor filling the room, alerting the nearby hospital personnel.
Louis glanced over his shoulder, crying loudly as he stared at the staff. "T-tell 'y dahdee to 'ake up." He said, shaking the man once again. "... p'ease."
> > >
Author's Note:
Fuck fuck FUCK I hate myself so much. I cried so hard over this. I can't say I didn't want to kill him, because I had it planned this way since the beginning. I'm sorry. I promise you Mark and Lottie will protect Louis, just like Troy once.
The next chap will be the funeral, and it will probably be short. Make sure you have tissues handy.
published: 02/01/2019 with 1155 words