Seattle Washington,
August 6, 1991
It was later on that afternoon and we made it back to Seattle safely. The plane that we took had separate seats from the rest of the guys so Chris didn't have a chance to tell anyone that we ended up getting married last night. Holy shit! I still can't believe we did that. I'm hoping no one will be disappointed that we did that and didn't tell anyone or invite anyone. I just need to stop stressing about it.
I was busy in our bedroom getting ready trying to figure out what to wear while Chris was downstairs in the studio doing his thing. I could hear him every once and a while and I love hearing him no matter what he's doing down there.
I figured I would go with my usual cut up band shirt and ripped jeans. I cant help it I'm a metal chick through and through. I decide to go with my Behemoth shirt that I got on the first date that Chris and I ever went on. That Behemoth concert changed my life forever. That was the night that I fell in love with him and here we are. who would've thought?
I check myself in the mirror, buckle up my silver studded belt and adjust my shirt to make sure it looked perfect with my ripped jeans and Doc Martens. I slap on my silver studded wrist cuff on my left hand and catch a glimpse of the rings on my finger which gave me those fluttery butterfly feelings inside. I smile to myself and then look at myself in the mirror and quickly throw my hair up in a messy ponytail with some curls escaping to frame my face.
I then make my way downstairs and head down into the studio to see Chris sitting on his swivel chair with his acoustic and playing as he scribbles on the scraps of paper strewn about him.
".... Dead on my feet while my nightmare walks
I fell asleep where the freeway talks
Suffer to swim and dying to sink
These things in the air they will make you think
Make you think, make you think..."
As I reach the bottom of the stairs, the sound of his beautiful voice fills the room while he plays this Sabbath sounding riff, the heaviness of it even though it was on an acoustic, I could feel through my whole body. It seriously gave me chills.
"Hi baby," He says when he sees me walk over to him.
"Hi... what you working on?" I ask as I move closer to him.
"Uh... just this riff that Kim came up with and I thought I'd try some lyrics to it..." He says as he sets the guitar down and leans it against the desk.
"Well whatever that was... it sounded heavy... really dark... I like it," I say as he pulls me into him to stand between his legs and smirks at me while he locks his beautiful Irish blue eyes on mine.
His hair that rested well passed his shoulders was still damp from his shower and even though he was in his ripped jean shorts, his Doc Martens with his suede leather wrist cuffs on each wrist, he still had not put on his shirt yet. I for one, don't mind at all. He looked so fucking amazing with his perfectly trimmed beard and his small silver hoop earrings, slightly poking through his dark hair.
"I hate to break you away from what you're working on... but we should head out..." I say as he moves his hands to my hips and up my back under my Behemoth shirt, his fingers skipping across my skin.
"Yea I know... thank fuck it's only and hour drive away and we can just come back home after," He says as he rests his head against my stomach and I thread my fingers through his hair, playing with his curls.
"You ok?" I ask, playing with his hair after a few moments of silence.
"Yea... I'm just tired... I'm ok," He says and moves his head away from me, moves his hands to the bottom of my shirt, lifts it up and places a kiss on my stomach causing me to giggle.
"Chris... that tickles," I laugh and he chuckles a bit as he pulls away and I pull my shirt back down.
"Ok... let's get outta here," He smiles and pats my hip for me to move to let him up from the chair and I follow him up the stairs out of the studio.
Capitol Theatre Olympia Washington, 1991
We arrive in Olympia about an hour later and since it was so close to Seattle, I helped Chris pack his guitars that he needed and he just drove us there. This was the only show they were doing before the record comes out and then it's off to tour with Guns N Roses.
I help Chris carry his guitars in to the venue through the back and after, we make our way down the hall towards the dressing room for some drinks and to hang out before the show. As Chris takes my hand and we walk down the back corridor of the Capitol Theatre, we see Kim walking towards us.
"Hey guys," He smiles at us and gives Chris a hug first.
"Hey, you just get here?" Chris asks as I hold Chris's bicep while they converse a little.
"Yea, I uh just finished going over the tuning with Jeff..." Kim looks at me and smiles and then I see him glance at my hand that held on to Chris. Kim looks back and forth between us and raises his eyebrow.
"Wait... uh... did you guys...?" He says a little confused.
"What?" Chris asks and looks back and forth between me and Kim.
"Are you guys married?" Kim asks a little in disbelief. I look at my hand that was holding Chris's arm and then up at Chris.
"Uh... yea...?" Chris says slowly and apprehensively and looks at Kim. Kim then tackles Chris in a hug, pulling him away from me and Chris laughs a little in surprise. Kim holds Chris tightly for a few moments and then Chris slowly returns the hug as I stand there watching them.
"That's fucking awesome man... I'm so happy for you," Kim says still hugging him.
"Thanks man," Chris says and then Kim eventually pulls away. Kim then turns to me, leans down and gives me the biggest hug he's ever given me.
"Andi..." Kim says as he still hugs me in the hallway backstage.
"Awe..." I say quietly while he continues to hold me.
"Hey guys," Matt says as he opens the door from the dressing room and sees us standing in the hallway.
"What's going on out here?" Ben says as he appears behind Matt and sees Kim still hugging me.
"They're married," Kim says as he lets go of me. It looks like he was about to cry. Oh my god, I had no idea Kim could get this emotional.
"What?" Ben smiles. I've never even seen Ben smile either, he's always so damn quiet and shy.
"No fucking way!" Matt smiles and walks up to Chris to give him a big hug.
"Congrats Andi..." Ben says quietly and gives me a quick hug.
"Awe thank you," I say surprised and Ben pulls away from me. I was not expecting this at all.
"When?" Kim asks as Matt turns to me to give me a quick hug.
"Uh last night in Vegas... we didn't plan it but... it just sort of...happened..." Chris says as Matt pulls away from me.
"Well we gotta celebrate it, lets have a drink," Kim says and turns to walk back into the dressing room. Matt and Ben follow as Chris takes my hand and laces his fingers through mine and we follow them into the dressing room.
Chris and I walk in the dressing room and Kim hands me a beer. Chris lets go of my hand and walks over to get himself a beer.
"Ok everyone's got a drink right?" Kim asks and looks around the room.
"Yep," Matt says and takes a sip of his beer. Chris pops open his beer and walks back over to me and stands beside me while Matt, Ben and Kim stand with us in a sort of in a circle.
"Ok so... even though we weren't invited and who knows if you were even going to tell us at some point..." Kim says and Chris smirks at him.
"I just wanted to say congratulations to you two... Andi... we love you... you are the best thing that's happened to this fucker in a long time... and Chris... well... you know," Kim says.
"You've had a few haven't you?" Chris smirks at him.
"Yes I have but that doesn't change the fact that I'm fucking so happy for you two," Kim says laughing a little and we all laugh with him.
"Cheers to you," Kim raises his beer and we all raise our drinks with him and clink our bottles while Matt and Ben chime in with a 'cheers'. We all take a drink and then Chris gives Kim another big hug and they stay that way for a few moments.
"Ok, that's enough sappiness for one night..." Kim says and pulls away from Chris as Chris laughs. Then we all just hang out back stage like we normally do, talking, laughing and somehow getting into a few deep conversations and then it was time for Soundgarden to take the stage.
Matt, Ben and Kim head out of the dressing room first and then Chris and I follow behind, my hand in his as he places soft kisses on the back of my hand. This was probably the first time I really felt like I belonged here. I didn't feel like a groupie, not that I was in the first place, and not like the guys ever made me feel that way. We all know what happened when Jason made me feel that way. I just felt like I was meant to be here with Chris. To be apart of what he lives for, makes me love him more and more each day. I am so grateful that he wants me to be a part of this whole thing with him.
I walk up with him to the stage and as I stand near the back, at the side, in between the two Marshall Stacks, Chris turns to me and places his lips on mine, lingering for a few moments and then takes his silver burst Gibson, my second favourite guitar of his, from Steve (his guitar tech) and heads out onto that stage.