I woke up with the clamorous knocking on my door. I looked at my clock, it's already 11 in the evening. Sinong mag aabala na bumisita sa akin ng ganitong oras? Wala din naman akong alam na pupunta dito dahil kailangan ko pang matulog at maaga pa ang flight ko mamaya. I was still yawning while rubbing my eyes as I walk to the door.
"Kaye! Kaylareen! Are you there?!" Naputol ang paghikab ko at nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang marinig ang malaks na boses ni Klaus. I immediately ran towards the door thinking that something might have happened to Riona.
"Klaus?" He was sweating and gasping as he put his hands on his knees to support himself. He's wearing his usual sleeping clothes, his jersey short and a white cotton shirt. "Anong ginagawa mo dito? Bakit ka hinihingal?"
"I... took... the... stairs." He said as his chest is heaving from the gasps. It took me a second to understand and my eyes widen as I realized what he said. He took the stairs?! Pero may elevator naman!
"What?!" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. He motioned for me to wait while he catch his breath. "Do you... want to come in? Do you want some water?"
Before I even remembered, Gerard went out of the kitchen. Tumigil sa paghakbang papasok si Klaus at nagpabalik-balik ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa. Confusion was all over his face then he looked at me like he was in pain... like I am hurting him. It made me want to tell him the reason why Gerard is here. Bigla ay parang gusto kong mag explain sa kanya, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit walang lumalabas sa bibig ko.
"Uhm... kumuha lang ako ng kape." Gerard said awkwardly and went back to the kitchen again. Silence enveloped the both of us. I want to ask him why he's here. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit siya nag abala na pumunta dito ng ganitong oras, but words escaped me and my mind was clouded with so much questions that I wasn't able to ask anything.
Gustong-gusto kong malaman kung anong ginagawa niya dito dahil nakakatakot mag assume.
"C-can we talk?" He said with all seriousness on his face and not showing ang emotion. I slowly nodded my head.
"Do you want to come in?" Dahan-dahan siyang umiling ng hindi inaalis ang mga mata sa akin. I suddenly felt like I got lost in those green eyes that are now looking at me like he can see through my soul. He's staring at me with so much intensity that my knees started to weaken and my heart started to beat wildly in my chest. The usual effect that he has on me ever since I saw him looking at me with those emerald eyes.
"Let's talk. Here." He said. I pursed my lips. Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko... kung ano ang sasabihin niya. So I just waited. But minutes had passed and no one's still talking.
I can't help but to make a small sigh as I admire his face. Bakit ba kahit ilang beses ko nang nakita ang mukha na yan, hindi parin nakakasawang titigan? His face... it's not the same bright face that I used to look at everyday, but he's still as handsome as ever. No doubt about that. Minsan nagpapasalamat nalang ako na siya ang pinagmanahan ni Riona.
"Klaus..." I stopped when he started to shake his head. He closed his eyes and I saw him swallowed a lump on his throat.
"Kaye," He called my name with a hoarse voice. "Please don't leave... please." My lips parted as I noticed his eyes and his nose turning red. He looked like he's pleading and he's not even trying to hide it. I can see desperation in his eyes.
"Why—" Bago ko pa man matapos ang tanong ko, agad niya akong niyakap ng mahigpit. Maslalo akong nanigas sa kinatatayuan ko nang marinig ko ang pag singhot niya.
"I don't want you to go." He's crying. I know he is. And by the sound of his voice my chest started to tighten. "Ang tanga tanga ko."
"Yan lang ba ang ipinunta mo dito?" Shit. It sounded like I don't want him here. Parang sa paraan ng pagsabi ko, pinapaalis ko siya. I felt him slowly removing his arms. Dahan-dahan siyang lumayo sa akin at nakayuko na umatras.
"I-I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour." And just like that, pain crossed his face again. He was like a little boy wiping the tears from his eyes using his arms trying to hide it. Nakayuko siya pero nakikita ko pa rin ng konti ang mukha niya. Hanggang balikat lang ako sa kanya kaya kitang-kita ko kahit itago niya.
"Klaus—"
"I love you Kaye. I never stopped loving you." Napanganga ako nang marinig ang sinabi niya. Did he just told me he still loves me? But I heard him. "I was just... afraid. I thought... I thought that you will never love me the same way I love you. That you can always barge into my life and then... like what you did, you can just... you can just leave me anytime you want, because that's you, Kaye. You don't need me. You're the strongest woman I know and it sucks. It sucks because it's also one of the things I love about you."
I remained silent as I let him have his talk. I don't want to ruin his moment. I want to hear everything that he wants to say. I'll savour every word that will come out of his mouth. I want to treasure this moment... dahil iba na ngayon. Everything's not just about us anymore.
"I'll beg if I have to... just please... don't leave me again." He said and my heart reached out to him as he cries—beg in front of me. Wala akong kahit na anong masabi.
I just don't know where to start. Everything that I wanted to tell him just evaporated. Hindi ko na alam. Wala nang pumapasok sa utak ko. Before I could even react. He slowly took a step back. Akala ko aalis na siya but he started to bend his knees and my eyes widened as I realized what he's about to do.
"Stop. Dont... don't do that." I stopped him bago pa man siya lumuhod sa harap ko. I don't want him to beg. It would kill me to see him like that. He looked at me with anticipation. "I'm sorry."
I saw how his shoulders fell. How tears escaped from his eyes. I saw how disappointed he was. Pero hindi ko pwedeng basta nalang sirain ang plano ko. I'm doing this not because of him... or Riona. I'm doing this for myself, because for the past years, I've always relied my happiness on someone else that I forgot how to be happy on my own. Being alone, whenever Riona is with Klaus, made me realize that sometimes being alone doesn't mean you're sad, being alone is something you need because the first person you should love before anyone else is yourself.
And this is the first time that I'll be doing something for myself without having a problem or thinking about anything or anyone else.
"I'm still leaving, Klaus." I told him. He pressed his lips together. Gusto kong hawakan ang mukha niya, gusto kong punasan ang mga luha mula sa mga mata niya... pero natatakot ako na baka kapag ginawa ko iyon, hindi ko mapanindigan ang desisyon ko.
"Do you... do you love him?" He said and sniffled. I opened my mouth to talk pero bago pa man may isang salita na lumabas sa bibig ko nagsimula siyang umiling at pumikit. "I-I'm sorry. I'll just... I—." He took a deep breath before he tried to put a smile on his face. A smile to hide the pain and fears that crossed his face for a second. "Don't worry about Riona. I'll take care of her while you're gone. You should... take your rest."
I saw tears falling from his face as he turned around and walked away from me. I blinked twice before I heard Gerard clearing his throat behind me. Humarap ako sa kanya at nakita ko na naka arko ang kilay niya habang hawak ang kape at nakatingin sa akin.
"Can I tell you something?" Hindi ako nagsalita. I didn't even nod pero nagsalita parin siya. "Klaus... he was stupid for letting you go, we all know that, but even demons get tired, Kayla. They also get scared... and right now, I think that that demon got scared of your answer so he took a way out." Lumingon ako sa direksyon na tinungo ni Klaus paalis. "Klaus isn't perfect and he made a mistake. You just have to decide what's bigger, Kaylareen, his mistakes or your love for him?"
"Hindi mo naman ako binasted para lang pakawalan yang gago na yan, di ba? Cause I swear if you don't go after him..." Hindi ko na narinig pa ang sasabihin ni Gerard dahil agad akong tumakbo.
I pressed the elevator button, pero ang tagal pa bago dumating ng elevator ride. I was thumping my foot as I wait. When the elevator bell rings, I immediately ran inside and pressed the ground floor button. Napapansin ko na rin ang tingin ng mga kasama ko sa loob. Nakikita siguro nila ang pagkabalisa sa akin.
"Thank God." I muttered to myself as we arrive at the ground. It has been the longest elevator ride I've had in my entire life! It felt like forever!
I immediately ran outside and searched for Klaus until I stopped when I saw him lying on the ground near the porch outside the building. Tumakbo ako palapit sa kanya sa sobrang pag aalala pero agad akong napahinto nang makita ko na may lalaking lumapit sa kanya at tinanong siya kung okay lang siya.
"Where do broken hearts go?" He asked the guy who was stunned for a bit by his question and then the guy chuckled.
"You're crazy, man." Napailing nalang ang lalaki at naglakad na ulit palayo.
"Klaus!" He didn't move so I called his name again. "Niklaus Driveo, hindi mo ba ako naririnig?!"
"Huh? What?" Agad siyang napaupo at lumingon sa paligid bago napako sa direksyon ko ang tingin niya. "Kaylereen." He said my name in a very low voice na para bang hindi siya makapaniwala na nasa harapan niya ako ngayon.
"Bakit ba bigla-bigla ka nalang umaalis?" I said as I slowly walk towards him and his eyes following my every move like he's ready to make a move any moment if I started running from him. "Hindi mo manlang ako pinagsalita."
"I was..." Hindi na niya natapos ang sasabihin niya nang makarating ako sa harap niya. Pakiramdam ko parehas kaming nalulunod sa titig ng isa't-isa.
"You asked me if I love Gerard, I do." His lips parted but before he can even react nagsalita pa ako. "But only as a friend." He stared at me for a moment before his eyes widened as he realized what I just said. He immediately stood up.
"Ibig sabihin ba nito... do you still love me?" He asked with anticipation visible in his eyes.
"Yes Klaus, mahal kita, hindi naman nagbago yun." Kahit nung mga panahon na akala ko hindi na niya ako mahal, hindi parin nagbago ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Tinanggap ko lang na wala na dahil akala ko tapos.
"I love you Klaus... but—" His hand stopped midair as he was about to hold me when he heard me saying the latter word. "I'm still leaving."
"What?" Confusion was all over his face. I raised my hand and held his cheeks.
"You have to understand that I still have to do this... for myself." I gave him a smile. "I want to do something for myself before we start anew. I have to do this so that when we start over, I'll be whole. We'll both be whole. Naiintindihan mo naman, di ba?"
Kailangan ko lang tong gawin dahil kung hindi ko gagawin ngayon, palagi kong iisipin na wala akong nagawa para sa sarili ko... na nabuhay ako ng hindi nagagawa ang gusto ko.
He stared at me for a minute before he took a step forward.. and then another hanggang sa makalapit siya sa akin. Hinawi niya ang buhok na nasa mukha ko.
"After that... no more running, Kaylareen." He raised his hands and cupped my face. "No more leaving. Wherever you go, I'll go." I smiled and nodded my head. "No more secrets. We'll talk every night before going to bed and you're going to tell me everything that happened on your day, the same goes for me." Tumango ako ulit. Inilapat niya ang noo niya sa akin at pumikit.
"After that, I will marry you." Napalawak ang ngiti ko. "I'll fucking marry you, you hear me? I'll drag you to the church if I have to." Hindi ko na napigilan ang matawa dahil sa sinabi niya at hinampas siya sa dibdib.
"Bakit gusto mo akong pakasalan?" Nakangiting tanong ko. Wala na akong pakealam kung masiyado kaming intimate sa harap ng mga tao. Mainggit sila.
Inilayo ni Klaus and ulo niya at tinitigan ako sa mga mata. His eyes full of sincerity and love. That kind of look that always make my heart beat crazy. Yung tingin na gustong gusto ko kapag tinititigan niya ako.
"Because I love you... so much, Kaylareen Vasquez." He gave me a quick kiss on the lips before he looked at me again. "Pagbalik mo, pagkatapak na pagkatapak mo sa Pilipinas, I swear, I'll immediately make you Mrs. Driveo, my wife." I giggled at what he said.
"Gigil na gigil?" I joked.
"You have no idea." I laughed again as we both stopped to stare at each other until his face moved closer to mine... until he captured my lips with his. This is not yet the end, I know that it's not. This is just the beginning of a new road for us. This time, we'll run it together.
the end