TELL ME A STORY
Louis had told himself that he wouldn't return here, he wouldn't come back to this apartment where he was surrounded by the happy couple but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to torture himself, he really didn't but a part of him felt compelled to come here and just give Harry the phone back. He wanted to see something, some sort of emotion in his eyes -- guilt maybe as he handed the phone back. He was probably going to end up going back, utterly heartbroken but Louis was growing quite used to the feeling now and it probably wasn't the best thing in the world but it is what it is.
He could never grow used to the ugly neighbourhood, though. It truly disturbed him to come down here on the one occasion he did and he simply couldn't imagine living here. It was dirty, unsafe and it certainly didn't look safe enough to be living besides these people. Louis tried not to judge, reminded himself that not everyone was in the same position that he was in, loaded with millions.
He packed up the car outside the flat block, feeling the familiar memories hit him of how strangely weird that day was. The first time he had come here, he felt intimidated by Dalton and he never felt that way with anyone else except his management team -- only on several occasions. It was nerve wracking the effect that Dalton had on his life, even if it was the smallest role.
Louis didn't want to be rude, he didn't want to suffocate Harry with questions by bombarding him and throwing the phone down on him. Sure, he was still enraged and boiling from the fact that Harry had lied to him about a simple cellphone. If he didn't want to give his number, he could've just said and Louis wouldn't of made a big deal of it. Instead, he lied and made Louis believe it -- and Louis didn't like that. He just wanted valid answers and then he would leave, he wouldn't bother Harry.
Hesitating outside the flat block, Louis decided to go straight in with the code since he already knew it from last time and went straight up the stairs to Harry's door. He was out of breath by the time he reached there but he didn't even care as he knocked harshly on the wood, standing back and taking a deep breath. There was some shuffling from the inside and he could hear Harry cursing as he walked around and opened the door.
"Dalton, I didn't - oh.." Harry breathed out, voice shaky and uncertain. "Oh, it's you."
Louis was taken back by Harry's appearance, gasping as he stumbled back and covered his mouth to control his breathing. He hadn't expected this. He didn't expect Harry to be opening the door, looking completely wrecked and broken with little bruises covered his face and a black eye -- looking awfully painful. He was wearing a shirt that had a low cut, exposing lots of little lovebites on Harry's neck and Louis felt like his whole world stopped right there. Harry looked so torn, so hurt and Louis felt tears well up in his eyes.
"What happened?" Louis finally choked out, trying to move forward and comfort him in any way he could but it seemed like nothing could fix what was standing before him. Had Dalton done this to him? Laid his hands and punched him straight in the eye?
Harry looked shocked, at first and moved back, flinching. "Louis, you should go." His voice was strained. It was clear he was holding something back and there was a sparkle of something desperate in his eyes as he glanced towards the lifts of the apartment complex. "You really should go." He repeated.
His eyes had light red rings under them, huge eyebags like he hadn't got a decent nights sleep in ages and he looked worn up, as usual. It was like any other day Louis would go to meet Harry, he always looked as equally tired as the other day -- but today was something different. Today, Harry was clearly hurt, something had happened here and Louis wanted to know what it was. He wanted to punch Dalton as equally hard if it was him because this isn't acceptable.
"No." Louis simply said, shaking his head with an apologetic look in his eyes. He knew Harry probably didn't want him right now, feeling vulnerable and exposed but there was no way he was going to leave him alone. He took a deep breath, taking a moment to himself to figure out what there is he had to do. "Is Dalton home?"
Harry shook his petite head, a sad smile playing at his lips.
"Let me in," Louis said simply as Harry didn't even put up a fight, moved out of the way and unblocked the passage so he could walk in. He took a look around the perfectly clean apartment, nothing out of place and scoffed at how perfect it looked. He turned back to Harry, frowning. "Tell me what happened here." He gestured towards the black eye. "Don't bullshit, don't cover it up."
Harry frowned this time, raising an eyebrow and looking confused. "It's not a big deal Louis?"
"It is a big deal! Did Dalton hurt you because I swear to god, if he did-"
Harry cut him off before he could complete his threat, looking offended. "What do you mean?" He spat, hatred clear in his tone of voice.
"You have a black eye Harry, what the hell happened?"
"So you automatically assume that Dalton was the one behind it?" Harry challenged.
Louis thought about the last few weeks since he got in touch with Harry and it all seemed to make sense. Harry was always tired, always looking well fucked and wrecked, he didn't have a cellphone besides the old model that was stored safely in his back pocket, he always met Louis only when Dalton wasn't around. All these signs could only point to one thing and it only made sense. But, Louis really wanted it to be false because he couldn't deal with the fact that Dalton has been abusing him and Louis failed to do anything about it. He needed this to be a lie.
"What else could it be?"
Harry laughed this time, sounding surprised and shook his head. "Louis, I got into a fight at the club, that's all."
Memories of when Louis hit Zayn came flooding back to his mind, all the media attention he had managed to gather that day and all the hate they both had been hit with. It was also the unfortunate night where his sexuality had started to be questioned, and hadn't stopped, ever since. He really didn't like being reminded of that day in any way, shape or form.
"Really?" Louis scoffed, not the slightest bit convinced. Harry was a lover, he spread his love and his affection everywhere he went and never once thought about hurting someone intentionally. He would do anything but raise a hand on someone, get into a fight at the club -- the most stupidest thing Louis had ever heard. "I don't believe a word."
Harry shrugged. "I don't need your approval, Lou. I know what happened."
"When did it happen then? Because, I can recall you being at my house yesterday. When did you get the time to go to the club?"
"Me and Dalton went right after I came back from yours, we needed to get out and have some fun time but I happened to bump into someone who was constantly abusing Dalton."
"Abusing, huh?"
"Yeah," Harry moved around his apartment, going to the kitchen and pulling out a can of pepsi and throwing it in Louis's direction. "Have that."
"Abusing how?" Louis ignored any other attempts at a conversation, still not believing the bullshit Harry was feeding him.
"Calling him names that weren't true. You know, immature stuff." Harry chuckled, his eyes dark in the memory as he grabbed himself a can of diet coke and sat down in the living room. "It was a little fight, he just managed to get his hands on me good."
The way Harry was talking sounded so unfamiliar to Louis. He wasn't used to him using these words, seeming fine with the fact that he had just gotten into a fight last night -- something he couldn't imagine Louis doing even in a million years. It just didn't feel right, didn't feel normal and he had no idea what to do except stand there, squirming and shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He wanted the truth and he had no idea whether Harry was offering the truth right now.
"I don't get it," Louis finally whispered, fiddling with his back pocket and feeling the phone. "It doesn't explain the marks on your neck."
"These marks?" Harry looked down, running his hands over them and leaving a lingered touch as he hissed to himself. "Dalton wanted to thank me for standing up to him, saying it wasn't needed but he was so happy to have a boyfriend like me. He made me feel good."
Louis felt hurt by these words, he had no idea why. It was the physical reminder that Dalton and Harry are in a loving relationship, they are together and Louis wasn't a part of that happiness. He was alone, didn't have no one and had to watch his ex best friend and the boy he was completely head over heels with after all these years, love someone else. It wasn't fair, he didn't want it to be this way anymore. He felt betrayed, for some odd reason. He didn't do enough to keep Harry in college, watched him walk away and he could've prevented it from happening back when they were younger.
Louis gulped, nodding and trying to pass down the lump in his throat as he opened up in can and took down the drink. He blinked away the few tears that had built up in his eyes without realising. "It looks... painful," was the only thing he could manage to splutter out, pointing towards the black eye again that was swollen, closing one of Harry's eye.
Even though Harry was beaten up, looked like shit -- he was still gorgeous in his own ways. Despite the fact he was pale, light pink lips and his eyes were a shade darker than usual - he was still Harry Styles with that award winning smile. There was something about him that was so tragically beautiful, it was clear he was hiding a secret from Louis and Louis was determined to crack it. He knew that the fact Harry never seemed to get any sleep wasn't a coincidence, or the fact that he always leaned on Louis, came to his house whenever he was upset.
There was something deeper here than Louis was itching to crack the code to, figure it out. He just wasn't sure if he was ready to hear the truth.
"It is," Harry agreed, humming and laughing. "But, it's just a black eye and I'll get over it."
Louis coughed as he brought out the phone from his back pocket, his palms sweaty as he tried to keep a firm grip of the device in his hands. "I, erm... found this in my kitchen in the morning." He said, bringing the phone in view for Harry to see.
There was a flicker of relief that flashed through his bottle green eyes, a smile curling up on his lips before it was replaced with a frown and guilt. "I didn't realise I left it."
"You lied to me," Louis accused, not being able to help how hurt he felt and it was on display by his voice, his squinted eyes and his glossy eyes. He never thought he would be able to feel vulnerable, to display emotions in front of someone else because he had managed to keep that all locked in for such a long time that now it felt strange to show to someone else. Especially to someone who has caused it. "You told me you didn't have a phone, that you were working on getting one."
Harry looked cornered, confused and at a loss of words as he jumped up from the sofa and moved towards Louis. "Could you give my phone please?" He asked, pleading.
Louis scoffed, throwing the phone and not caring whether he managed to catch it or not. "If you didn't want to give me your number, I wouldn't care, you know? I would've been fine with it. I just don't understand why you had to lie to me!"
"It's not that I wanted to lie to you," he tried to reason with the situation, looking torn and rather taken back. Harry clearly hadn't been expecting to see his cellphone laying around, somewhere Louis could get a hold of it. "I only have this phone for Dalton, I don't contact anyone else."
It seemed like the most pathetic thing to hear. The fact that someone would keep a phone just to save their boyfriends number, to be able to text and call him despite the fact they shared an apartment together and spent every passing second besides each other. It wasn't like it was a crime to be able to save someone else's number. Louis had been trying so hard to fix the friendship here, bring the seams together and have something worthwhile. He didn't want their whole childhood spent together to go to waste but he realised, Harry didn't even care. He wasn't concerned about Louis, he wasn't doing anything to win back his life despite the fact that he had betrayed him three years back. He was content with Dalton and he didn't need anyone else. Why had it taken Louis so long to realise this? To understand that he was being a home-wrecker?
Louis backed away from Harry slowly, feeling defeated and tired. He held up his hands in surrender. He could feel himself aching for the taste of a cigarette, to smoke it up and blow away and forget about everything else. He also felt the need to go out, to party and drink away all his troubles.
"I see where I'm not wanted." Louis managed to grit out, his voice broken. He hated the affect Harry had on him, it just wasn't fair. "I'm sorry I tried to get myself involved in your life."
Harry looked at him sympathetically, with big puppy dog eyes. Louis didn't need the pity, he didn't want Harry worrying about him. "Don't be stupid Louis, it isn't like that."
"It is though!" He snapped, his voice an octave higher as he narrowed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Isn't it?"
Harry flinched, startled as he moved back as an immediate reflex. "I don't know." He whispered, his voice barely audible.
There was nothing left to say after that. What could Louis possibly say now when all the words have been split out, wide in the open for him to see? It was clear to him now that he didn't belong to be part of Harry's life, he really needed to stop trying from now. Sure, he would hurt and a part of him was always going to love him but there was nothing he could do. He just couldn't stand here, watch his other half love someone else -- it got too overwhelming.
Louis nodded, running a hand through his hair. "I'm really sorry for trying, okay? I know where I belong and I'll leave now." His voice was cracking as he opened the apartment door and left. A part of him was disappointed that Harry didn't call for him, didn't stop him and rather watched him go.
**
What Louis needed right now was a bit of mother loving, mother attention and he needed to be away from his own company. He hadn't visited home for what seemed like the longest time now and he craved the love he got from there, the endless shower of emotions that his sisters gave him. He missed seeing them, he really did and despised himself for trying to stay away for so long. This is where he belonged and he needed to stop fighting it. He gathered all the courage he needed, taking deep breaths in the car before cutting off the engine and walking towards the front door. Louis had driven straight here after Harry's and he was still a little overwhelmed, close to the edge of bursting into tears and breaking down.
He turned his phone off, not wanting any distractions today from visiting home and alerted all his security guards where he was. He was safe, away from the public eye and cosy around the people who he loved the most. Louis had brought his mother this huge mansion, quite close to his own, so he would never have to be separated from her and he appreciated that he could literally drive down for 5 minutes and walk into his mothers house.
Jay was extremely supportive of Louis, loving everything he did and never interjecting, telling him wrong. She brought the albums, many copies, and encouraged everyone on twitter to come along to concerts, support his little boy and bring him to the top. The truth is, there isn't much more famous you can get than Louis and he was pretty much doing everything anyway. What more level of fame could he reach now?
Louis knocked on the pale white painted door, stepping back and looking down as he heard voices from the other side of the door and shuffling around before Jay opened the door. She gave one long, hard look at Louis before sighing deeply and opening up her arms. There was some sense of relief, the only kind of relief you could get from coming to something familiar, as Louis embraced her and inhaled her usual vanilla scent. It was everything he missed, everything he needed.
"Loubear," she murmured in his tousled hair, running a hand down his back and tried to comfort him. "What's the matter baby?"
Louis frowned. "What do you mean mum?"
"You're here, and I'm just wondering..."
He didn't back away from the hug, not wanting to let go just yet because he was afraid he was going to start crying there and then. "I don't need to be upset to come home and visit!" He tried to sound offended, but he really wasn't.
Jay giggled, shaking her head. "Oh no, of course not. I'm just not used to you coming home very often and I was just wondering love."
Finally, they pulled away and Jay was smiling fondly up at Louis, running a hand through his already messy hair. Louis knew he looked like a mess but the good thing was, he didn't need to straighten himself up and make himself look good to be visiting home. He didn't need to cover up, hide away or be someone he's not and it made him giddy with happiness.
"I know, I'm such a shit son," Louis sighed, pouting. "I should drop by more often."
"Don't be stupid, I know how busy you are!" Jay rolled her eyes, swatting him on the shoulder before bringing him into the house and shutting the door behind her. They went straight to the living room where Lottie and Fizzy were watching. When they noticed who had arrived, they smiled wide and attacked their older brother.
"You little bastard!" Fizzy said, tickling Louis's side with a grin. "How long after have you bothered to even come back?"
"Get off!" Louis tried to breathe between his laugh, the torture of being tickled as he slowly and carefully pushed Fizzy and Lottie off. He had forgotten how carefree he felt around here. "You devils!"
"We missed you!" Lottie said, her bottom lip sticking out.
"You adorable twat," he muttered, pinching her cheeks, "I'm sorry, but I'm back now ey!"
Jay smiled at the lot, shaking her head. "You nutters."
"Where's Daisy and Phoebe?" Louis asked, looking around the living room and looking for his twins. He loved how they were still quite young, he could still treat them like babies and get away with it whereas Lottie and Fizzy demanded to be treated like adults now.
"They went out with Dan earlier for a little treat. I wasn't feeling it." Jay sighed.
It was a disappointment that he couldn't meet the twins straight away but he had no plans of returning back to his vacant mansion anytime soon so he was glad he had enough time to meet them afterwards. He sat down besides his mum, frowning. "Why? What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing. I had morning sickness and get really dizzy so I wanted to relax for a bit and watch a movie or two with the girls."
It was almost like Louis had forgotten all about the two twins that were currently on their way as well. His family was never ending, it just got bigger and bigger and Louis loved it. He loved having all these siblings to fall back on, liking each and every one of them for different reasons but being able to support all of them was the best. It was a bit nerve wracking at times to be the only brother around, considering all his sisters looked up to him and sometimes recycled garbage and endless gossips was always shown about him on tv -- he never wanted his sisters to see him in a different light. That would break him, make him a failure as an older brother.
"How far long are you now?"
"Only 3 months in love, still a long way to go but it will fly by like usual." She patted her stomach, smiling down at it like her whole life was contained in there. "Wedding is coming up soon too."
Louis nodded, quite excited for the wedding despite the fact it was taking place after the twins were born. He wanted to be able to give back to his family, wanted to see them happy and this wedding was definitely going to be the start of that.
"It's going to be great," he promised his mum.
"So, tell me, what's been going on with you mister?" Jay narrowed her eyes, getting more comfortable on the sofa. "I've heard a lot about you recently."
So, for the next couple of hours Louis and Jay sat in the living room with cups of tea and plates of cakes and discussed what had been going on. Louis didn't hold back any detail, feeling the need to come clean and let go of all the emotions that have been building up inside. He started with meeting Harry for the first time, the encounter in the park -- all the way up to what just happened an hour ago and felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He had forgotten how effortless and easy it was to vent to your mother, she wasn't the one to judge and think bad of you and just wanted to help you in any way she could. Jay looked pleasantly surprised, gasping and muttering curse words under her breath at the right moments and patting his shoulder at the right times. Louis released all the load off him, not leaving anything out and when he was done he just fell back, eyes closed and sighed.
"That's terrible Loubear," Jay sighed too, her eyes deep with sympathy for her baby. "You don't deserve any of that. I can't believe Harry has changed so much."
Jay and Harry had practically been best friends back in the days. They acted like they knew each other very well, having endless conversations about the most random stuff and always inviting each other over to family dinners. Harry felt comfortable with Jay, enough to open up about his dreams and ambitions and being able to call her his second mother. It was both a shock and a shame for Jay to see him change into something he's not right before her eyes and having no control over it whatsoever.
He couldn't help but agree to his mums statement. "I know mum, I just don't know what to do."
"Listen, there's not much you can do." Jay said honestly, trying to be straight up with Louis. "It's just a shame that Harry can't see how much you love him, after all these years."
"He's just so swoon by Dalton."
"Exactly and it hurts to say this, but that's not going to change."
Louis groaned loudly, feeling those words affect him but he had to accept it now otherwise he never will. "I just... I don't know!"
"And this Eleanor business is out of hand," Jay shook her head in disbelief, not wanting to believe that management could be so cruel. "They don't even acknowledge your feelings." She paused, looking at Louis with wide eyes. "Listen, how about I make you some dinner, we'll watch some movies and you get some rest and then tomorrow, I'll take you to my favourite restaurant for lunch. Yeah?"
And nothing sounded better to Louis in that moment.