[AN: I know Tae in this story has been the most spineless Tae you have probably read. I try as much as I could to relate him on how I view him in RL. I'm not saying he's a coward, but I find Tae a bit anti-skinship sometimes when it comes to Tee. Please don't get me wrong. I like him, and I like their tandem. I know they are far far off to be like the off screen relationship of OffGun or TayNew or even a bit of Peraya. TaeTee has a unique charm brought about by ForthBeam. I was just wishing Tae could be a bit more playful physically with Tee. But I repeat, I like Tae, or else, I won't be writing these fanfics.]
21: Debut
TEE POV
A loud annoying noise awoke me from my slumber.
It's the middle between night and morning, almost dawn. I slowly open my eyes.
I've set my alarm every hour. This is the 4th time it has rang.
I reached out to my phone and it read 4:30am.
Do I have a schedule this early in the morning?
Nah.
I'm just trying to make sure what I experienced these past two days was not a dream.
But just to be sure, I checked my gallery again.
For the nth time!
Yep. The pictures of food are still there.
I checked my IG.
Yes, still more than 15,000 likes on that picture with P'Tae.
"Whew."
I set my alarm again and closed my eyes to sleep.
[AN: Happened to us once. I'm kind of a paranoid person. We were in line to see some attraction and the staff handed us a number so we can chill around. I kept on looking at the number just to make sure it's not upside down or if we read it wrong. Then I hid it in my bag. Then we would check again if it's the same number and if the number is secure in our bag.. X'D And I just have to use this picture again because Tee is just too adorable!]
It rang again after an hour. It's now 5:30am. The food in the gallery is still there, so is my IG post.
It wasn't a dream!
But just to be sure, I set it again for another hour.
Until it was 7:30 and it was time to wake up.
I groaned.
We have our last commercial shoot for LoveMatt today and while I'm thankful that I have a project, I just want to lie in bed thinking of the past two days that I was with P'Tae.
I kept on thinking about it. During practice, in the bathroom, while eating, before sleeping. It's just too good to be true. Aside from treating me, P'Tae has also started to reply to my twitter and IG posts which in the past he just ignores.
I usually send him morning greetings but I'm running late today. I jumped out of bed to clean myself. I have to drive to the venue since P'Janean can't accompany me today; she's busy with her other talents. She will join me later in the afternoon at an event.
In my car, I ate my breakfast that I brought from a café. Unlike with our studio practices, food here is not provided.
"Tee!" P'Benj greeted me with a hug. He was in the middle of having his make-up done. "I've seen your teaser! Well done!"
Our management has finally released the teasers for our SBFivedebut.
"Thanks P. Have you eaten? I brought coffee and sandwich." I handed it to him.
"Thanks. I woke up late so I didn't have time to buy."
The set today was different, but of course, there's still a bed. They had showered it with a thousand red petals. No wonder it smells like flowers when I entered. The contrast of red to the white sheets was elegant. The carpeted floor was also adorned with flowers and petals.
P'Benj was the first one in line. This commercial will be a hit now, I tell you. If in our two previous sets, we were both wearing white, almost see-through material, now P'Benj is wearing nothing on top. I like how they made his shoot dramatic. The petals were dancing around caused by the giant fans on either side of him, so that his cotton pants also waved, also his hair. I don't think I can pull off a shot like that. For one, I don't have good abs like him. I'm more on the 'flabs' side.
No wonder they gave me upper clothes for this shoot. It was a loose collared red sleeveless that has stylish zippers at the sides.
[AN: Like this but plain red.]
They had only buttoned the top part, so my stomach is showing, but not the fats I have on the side. I like it. It was paired with fit red pants that has stylish buckles. For the make-up, they retained the color of my lips, but they made my eyes look darker by highlighting the sides and putting a little bit of a blush on my cheeks.
"Wow, you look good, Tee!" P'Mok praised my looks. He was present during all the shoots for this. He's from the agency after all.
"Thanks P'."
"Where is Janean?"
"She has a project with one of her models, so she can't come today."
"Have you thought about my offer? It's a good opportunity. You'd meet other celebrities and other managers to lift up your career."
"P'Janean will have to decide on this one." I said.
"Well then, I'll just convince Janean. And, I have a few projects on my list and I was hoping you can be one of my models again."
I feel elated. The start of this year has been very good to me.
"Aw, look at you blushing." P'Mok said and pinched my cheeks, then he patted my hair. "You've got good connections, Tee. Don't waste it."
"Krub P'Mok. Thanks for the offer. Are they couple-related commercials?"
"I was planning to give you a solo one." He winked.
"Really P?!" I wanted to jump and hug him but restrained myself. This is the first time I'll be able to get a solo commercial! I hope it is food related!
"Really! Let's discuss it later, then tell Janean you really want to get it ok?" He squeezed my arms and went back to supervise P'Benj's shoot.
My shoot was a simple one. I just had to lie on that same bed, but this time, it had white petals on them. But it still took quite a number of takes because P'Mok and the director wanted to have different expressions on bed, as well as different angles.
[AN: Clarification: P'Mok is not Benj's manager. He is from a talent agency, who searches for models and possible commercials for them.]
TAE POV
I got crazy.
I admit it. I don't know how it happened but when Benj told me he likes Tee something in me exploded. I don't want Tee for him.
I enjoyed the pampering that Tee gives me and I don't want his attention to be focused elsewhere!
"What if I tell you that I like Tee too?" those words came out of my mouth all of a sudden as if a stranger inside me spoke them.
"I figured." Benj said. "You should see your face whenever Tee speaks to me."
"What do you mean?" I asked nervously.
"You look like you want to kill me." He told me like it was no big deal.
"That – I'm not..."
"I understand Tae. I have the same feeling sometimes when Tee is around you. But I can't dictate to him what to do. He's free to choose who he likes."
I gritted my teeth. He's speaking coolly about it while here I am getting boiling hot.
"Anyway, I hope you can return his phone tomorrow. We'll discuss some stuff about our upcoming shoot. Good night Tae."
Benj hung up our call and I flopped back to my bed.
Actually, why am I getting worked up? Tee had told he likes me. He sees Benj as a brother. I have nothing to worry about!
Who am I kidding?
Of course I have to secure my position here.
The next day I woke up earlier than usual on a schedule-free day.
If Benj wants to bring him to that pizza place, then all I have to do is bring Tee there first.
I drove quickly to his house and it looks like he has just woken up judging from the lines on his cheek. He looked puffily at me, looking cute while scratching his head.
"Seriously P? Pizza at 8:30 in the morning? They are not even open yet at this hour."
Oh crap. I forgot. I didn't even think of the time. The only one on my mind is how to beat Benj into it.
I looked at my watch. It was still early. If Tee would eat with me now, he'll have time to eat with Benj. Looking like an idiot, I drove as slow as I can, ignoring all his side comments about my horrible driving skills.
"I think I'm out of gas." I told him a horrible lie. I knew there is a gas station not far from here. I went out to go to the bathroom and in the process, I told the gasoline boy to charge it from my card and to use all the points I have been saving up. It would take time for them just to compute those, and I didn't think I'll be using them for a purpose like this. I took my time in the bathroom. I think I have played at least 5 full slow songs on my phone and searched for currently showing movies before I decided to come out. When I came back, he looked worried, probably thinking whether I was constipated or not.
We also took time with the menu. This guy is a big eater and when he said he wanted to try it all, I gave in.
1. I would like to spoil him.
2. It takes a lot of time to eat it.
And true enough even before we started eating Benj, called asking him out. I couldn't hear their conversation but it was pretty easy to guess. He raised an eyebrow at me and I just acted innocently.
"P', did you answer all of my calls last night?" he accused me.
"What? No. I just answered Benj's because he was calling non-stop, it was getting noisy."
When the time came to pay for the food, I quickly took out my card. I saw his mouth was wide open. In the past, I only treat him to small stuff like frappes and snacks. It was my first time to treat him to something expensive. I hid a smirk. I know he's getting confused now, but I want to impress him.
I asked him to watch a movie. I calculated my time. Benj might call again asking for a dinner date with him and I don't want that. Even if I drove slow, we still reached the mall 30 minutes early. I should've went to a much farther cinema but he might get totally annoyed if I do that. Instead, I bought tickets for the afternoon slot, thinking that by the time the movie is finished we would head straight to dinner.
I grinned inwardly seeing his reaction when I showed him the tickets.
"You know what? We ate a lot right? I'm not yet in the mood to sit for a long time. Why don't we kill time by roaming around first?" I told him. This is partly true. I feel so stuffed with that binge eating we did. Also, it's been ages since I went to an arcade.
We were both aware of the fans that were surrounding us. With Tee, I felt much more free. It was a lot different from my dates with Savannah. I used to do what she wanted and we have to do everything in secret. With Tee, even if we have different preferences, we both enjoy doing what each other wants. He wanted to go shopping so we did. I wanted to play so we did. He wanted to try those mini room karaokes we tried it out. In the end, we were both content.
While the trailers were playing in the cinema, I hurriedly scrolled through my IG and liked every post of fans who posted their recent pictures of us. Our fans are the best. Who would have thought the waitress earlier was a fan too?
I lost interest halfway through the movie. It's not my category at all, so I just roamed my eyes around and tried so hard not to yawn.
The couple to my right and the couple in front of us kissed all of a sudden. Well, it's a romantic comedy after all. I rolled my eyes and looked at Tee instead. He immediately averted his gaze.
"Tee." I called out. He eats like a kid. There are popcorn bits on his lap and on the floor and there is a bit on his lip. I reached out to remove it.
"You've got a popcorn kernel on your lip."
He looked blank after that.
Finally! The movie ended and we went to a ramen shop to eat dinner. My phone has been ringing constantly now and when I checked...
Savannah calling...
I turned my phone screen down so I won't see it.
She has been calling me since yesterday. I still haven't gotten over the fact that he hurt Tee and lied to me so I don't know what to say to her.
One whole day with a rehearsal and I finally thought I can have a Benj-free day. But the guy just had to appear on our studio! I was so annoyed that I threw the lunch he gave downstairs. They were all upstairs enjoying their free food and I am sulking outside, feeding half the food to street dogs. I just bought those cheap 50baht meals in 7-11 and ate there.
"Stupid Benj. Stupid Tee." I muttered under my breath while walking back to the studio. "They're just meat buns. What's so great about that? I can also buy 500 of them!" I kicked a tire so hard but got hurt in the process. I hopped on the spot and then I noticed that it was Tee's car tire I have kicked. I stared at my reflection on Tee's tinted window for so long that I can see it talking to me, telling me things...
I looked up to check if there was someone upstairs near the window.
None. The blinds are there, protecting them from this noon weather.
Crazy. I'm getting crazy. Tee's tire was already looking a bit lopsided, I guess it was like that even before I kicked it. Oh com'n. No car tire would get flat just by kicking on it.
But... beside that car was a stone. I stared at that stone. It was telling me something...
I picked it up. It was quite sharp. I notice there were cement and road drawings here probably done by street kids. They must've used this.
I crouched down and again checked the 2nd floor window. Then, as if possessed, I poked the tire with the stone.
I dropped it quickly.
"What the heck am I doing?" I shook my head again and kicked the stone far away.
The tire still looked the same. In fact, if you won't get a closer look, you won't see that it's starting to lose air.
"Crazy." I crumpled my hair, and before anyone could see me and look for me because I was late, I ran upstairs.
"That stone couldn't really puncture a hole in it could it?" I talked to myself as I drove away from the studio after practice. I bit my thumbnail and stopped.
What if? Just what if Tee got a flat tire because of it? I drummed my fingers on the wheel. Then I decided to turn back.
I admit it was a moment of immaturity. I was just really annoyed and I took it out on his car. It wasn't my intention for him to get stranded, and yet, yes, there he is, at the side of the road looking helpless and calling someone on the phone.
Beep Beep
He looked relieved to see me. Well, I'm glad to be of help! My moment of craziness had had its benefits. P'Janean ordered me to take him home! And who cares anymore about those meat buns for lunch? I'm going to treat him to dinner, diet or not.
[AN: I'm so ashamed of Tae right now.]
.
.
.
I peeked through the curtain and saw people waiting patiently.
Today is SBFive's debut.
I am so effin' nervous!
The others are feeling the same way, even Tee who is usually lax with fan events like this.
I'm even more nervous than the time that we have to audition. But here we are now standing in front of fans, singing and dancing on stage making them happy. I was worried at first, thinking that being in a boyband is off for my age. Our families are also here as well as our friends. I can see a few celebrity colleagues from other agencies too, including Benj and Ngern who were both cheering for Tee.
And not far from where they are, Savannah.
Our eyes met briefly, then I turned my back on her. Sooner or later we'll talk.
The event is coming to a close. We are so glad for this huge and positive feedback. It made all the sleepless practices and meetings worth it.
"Good job guys!" P'Oh and P'Janean clapped like seals once we entered backstage after promising the fans to see them in a concert. We were all followed by our stylists to wipe our sweat, fan us and give us drinks. "We are so proud of you."
A few friends were allowed backstage and I saw a few of them coming in our direction.
"And to add to this successful event, all of you have been chosen to be Tao Kae Noi's next endorsers! Isn't that great?!" P'Oh said.
"Whoaaa!" We all exclaimed and hi-fived. Out of impulse, and because he is the one beside me, I grabbed Tee and hugged him tightly. No one gave it a second thought. After all, Kim hugged Bas and Copter too. But I can tell that Tee was shocked. As a bonus, it was seen by Benj who looked expressionless.
Tee pushed me away lightly and hugged Copter next, so I covered the awkward moment by hugging Bas and Kim.
"Well done!" P'Janean hugged us next. "I know you are all tired, but the agency will treat you now to dinner!" So we all went back with our stylists for a change of clothes.
"You were great Tee!" Benj greeted him and ignored me.
"Thanks for coming P'! Thanks for the support, I saw it, it was huge!"
What's huge?
"No problem. Anything for you. You guys going to dinner? I was about to invite you."
"You can come with us P!" Tee said enthusiastically. "I'll introduce you to my parents."
My eyes widened.
"Really? I'd love to meet them."
"Yeah! Over here." And he guided Benj leaving my mouth open as I followed them with my eyes.
I sulkily looked behind me as Tee went to his parents and began introducing Benj. The guy even brought some props with him! I saw him give a box of sweets and flowers to Tee's Dad and Mom.
"What's with that face P'?" Kimmon asked.
"Nothing I just saw an insect."
"Ah, anyway, P'Janean wants to take photos over there." He pointed to a backdrop and balloons where our band name was written. "Go on. I'll get Bas and Tee."
I was glad as soon as Tee detached himself from Benj. This is going to be a long night. The managers invited him too to eat with us. He is a staff favorite due to his frequent visits to the studio. When the time came for us to eat, he even found himself a spot beside Tee and I endured the whole celebration dinner squeezed in between sponsors and managers.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom after a couple of alcoholic drinks and a few plates of food. On the way, there are five tables of fan and sponsors gifts with our faces pasted on each table. One for each of us! These gifts will be delivered to our houses the following day.
I smiled and took pictures. Admittedly, Bas's table was overflowing that the gifts occupied the floor. Mine was just ok. It had banners from my shoe sponsors, and the director of the music video. Tee's table beside mine took my attention though.
At the very middle of it was a huge bouquet of red roses. It was even bigger than those roses that Pha gave Yo during the filming of 2moons. Behind his table was a wide banner of his face with the words "Congratulations Tee!" at the bottom. He was wearing a red outfit, looking seductive while lying on a bed of white rose petals. It also has random faces of Tee, mostly while eating, some from his IG, but most I haven't even seen before. It looks like photos from behind the scenes. Then I understood. Not far from the congratulatory text were the words: from Ben Santiraj.
I gritted my teeth. The pictures were probably taken during their break from the commercial. This venue is open spaced and not far from the tables, there were a few fans who have not gone home yet. They were holding their bias posters and fan-made props, but they were all holding similar small cups of rolled ice cream. Where they got them was visible from where I was standing. It's a small ice cream truck that attracted a long line of fans. I hid on a corner and saw fans pass by, and I can clearly see the design of the cup.
It says "SBFive Tee ice cream" with his smiling face on it.
It's cute. It's witty. But I know that Tee never called sponsors nor he asked P'Janean to set-up something like this. I can only guess who sponsored this. I lost big time. What is a set of meals and snacks compared to this treat for fans under Tee's name? Benj knows how to play.
I shook my head and walked back dejectedly to the table. I can see that the others were standing up, probably they have finished eating too.
My sister texted me that they are about to head to the VIP parking lot, so I proceeded that way after saying goodbye to P'Janean.
But at the other side of the parking lot I saw them together again. An arm around Tee's shoulder, they walked towards Benj's car, almost hopping like happy drunk kids on a playground. They talked for a while, and judging by Tee's gestures, he was thanking him. A minute later, Benj drove away. Tee was going back tipsily upstairs and before I knew it, my feet walked towards him.
I grabbed him by the arm, turned him around and pushed him lightly, leaning my hand on the wall near his head. He looked stunned, almost pale, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was me.
"What the heck P'." he placed his hand over his heart and breathed.
I wanted to do the same because my heart was beating wildly, but I just stared at him, a lot of questions running on my mind but can't get out of my mouth.
"What? Why are you staring at me?" he attempted to go to the free side, but I rested my other hand on the wall, sort of trapping him.
"Are you and him together now?" I fired the 1st question right away.
He blinked, looking uncomfortable. "If you mean P'Benj –
"Who else? Nice bouquet of roses. You like them don't you?"
"Of course I do? Who would say no to a gift?"
He was looking pink now, probably because of the fact that we drank alcohol.
"He gave you more than a gift. That ice cream truck was a hit."
"Well, I'm glad the fans like it." He said, averting his eyes, probably looking for a way out.
[AN: At this point, I'd pick Benj, if I were you, Tee.]
"You like it too." I pointed out. My blood was boiling. I can't explain this feeling. I don't like it when others exceed me on the things I want.
My heart thumped.
I want?
"Yeah I do." Tee said, still averting his eyes and looking for a way out. "That was very generous of him."
"You like him. You like Benj." I said against my own will.
"P, what's wrong with you?" he said, slightly raising his voice. "Tsk." He escaped my barrier by ducking under my arm. He walked a few steps away from me intending to go back to the venue hall.
My arms once again lifted on their own.
Everything happened so fast.
I grabbed his arm, turn him back to face me, grabbed his neck and slammed my mouth on his.
My eyes were closed but I know his eyes were open in shock. His lips tasted like a combination of vodka and butter. In a few seconds, he pounded my hands, but I just tightened my grip on his neck not intending to choke him, but to deepen the kiss.
His hand stopped slapping me. I was still kissing him and I now felt it being answered by his own lips. His shoulders slackened, his palms landed on top of my chest. I slightly opened my eyes, and yes, his were shut in a dreamy way. I lowered my hands towards his elbows, pushing them lightly up so that his arms can encircle my neck, then I rested mine on his waist.
It was a moment of bliss. I can't even remember what we were arguing about earlier. The sound of footsteps awakened both of us, and we pulled away from each other. Two seconds later, my parents and sister appeared around a corner, talking loudly.
"Oh P'Tae you're already here." Nong Kin said. "Why do you look so red?"
"Oh. Uh, I think I drank too much." I said.
"Pa, let me drive na!" Kin tugged at my father and he agreed.
"Take care, krub." Tee wai'd at my parents then hurried away.
"What happened to him?" my mom asked looking at the direction where Tee ran off.
"He's a bit tipsy." I said, wondering if I should run after him. But my parents pushed me inside our can and my sister began to drive.
At home, I paced inside my room. It was already midnight and my family is asleep. I was holding my phone tightly thinking of a message to send to Tee. I did not regret that kiss, and I'm positive that he liked it. It's just a whole new perspective for me. I never thought of having feelings towards men, and a colleague at that!
I stared at my phone, typing random greetings to Tee.
Are you home? But I erased it and replaced it with Great job today! I erased it again because he might think it was about the kiss, and typed What are you doing?
I shook my head, erasing and typing unsent messages to him.
I was typing 'Are you asleep?' when I almost dropped it when I saw that he was calling me.
Catching it by the end of my fingers, I answered the call.
"You are home?" he asked. His voice was just casual.
"Yeah. You?" I asked.
"Outside your house."
I froze. Then a second after, I raced to my bedroom window and peeked on the blinds.
And yes, outside my house, leaning on his car and looking up on my room is Tee Jaruji.
"Wait a sec." I hung up the phone and ran as quietly as I could downstairs. I don't like to wake my family up or they would suspect something. I tiptoed beside our sleeping dog who was guarding the door and opened it as silently as possible.
Tee watched me as I closed the door.
"Sorry, were you sleeping already?" he asked, judging from my pajamas.
I shook my head. He was still wearing his clothes during the after party. I already know the answer but I still asked, "Why are you not home yet?"
I saw him hesitate for a bit. "Well, a P' I know kissed me earlier and I don't know why." He said sarcastically. I can't blame him. We were arguing seconds before we kissed, and then we have to separate immediately.
I felt myself blush but I answered him, "Well maybe that P likes you."
He looked at me seriously, his eyes asking questions.
"What was that all about P'Tae?"
Yep, he's pretty sober now.
"Why did you kiss me?" he asked specifically.
"I like you." I said looking him in the eye.
It was his turn to blush.
"Explain." He said, averting his eyes. "When I confessed to you, you said this won't work."
"I thought so too." Honestly, this confused me. "But I realized it was fun being with you, and I feel more relaxed when you're around, I mean... We're nothing alike, but I feel free when I'm with you." I said, my voice becoming smaller. Then I added in barely a whisper, "I do stupid things just to get your attention."
"You're also relaxed when you're with the other SBFive. Aren't you just confusing your like with me as a like with a friend?"
"I don't. It's different with you. Why would I kiss a friend on the lips?"
He was unconsciously fumbling his thumbs so I reached over and took his hand. He seemed startled but he allowed me to intertwine our fingers.
"So, what are we now?" he asked.
"What do you think?" I told him. This was all new to me. I still can't believe I like a guy.
"You were the one who kissed me. You tell me!"
I smiled.
"Boyfriends."
I saw his lip twitch up like he was trying hard not to smile and I laughed at him.
"Be serious!" he hissed.
"I'm serious."
"Are you sure? You told me you're straight."
"You were straight too." I reasoned out.
He looked at me, trying to read my eyes, then slowly, he leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. He looked at me again for my reaction.
I raised an eyebrow.
I let go of his fingers and placed a hand on his back to move him closer then I kissed him properly.
Our kiss at the parking lot was a bit aggressive. This one was slow, sweet, like we were teenagers on their first love.
He was blushing furiously when we pulled apart.
"I'm – I'm going now. Goodnight P'Tae." He mumbled as he got his car keys in his pocket. I chuckled at his behavior. He didn't wait for my reply and ran to his car and drove away. I watched until his car turned a corner and disappeared.
I don't know what's in it for us, but I know that I'm not single anymore and that I will be spending most of my time with my boyfriend.
[AN: We're finally here, guys! Thanks for sticking up with me until they became together. No, it's not the end of the story yet, but only a few more chapters to go.
And also, a huge thanks to those who showed me support especially with that author's note I left on the previous chapter about my depression. It really helps if you tell someone. I don't have a lot of friends because I rarely go out, but you readers and fellow ff writers just boost up my mood. I'm still demotivated in real life. Actually, my motivation has died, but you are all a great help. I hope all of us who experienced this bounce back again from this darkness. Thank you! And if it's not too troublesome, please pray for me to have a source of income now. I have been unemployed for 5 months now.]