24: you've never been just another girl
"Not even for fifteen minutes?" Calum and I were standing on opposite sides of the island in my kitchen, facing each other as we occasionally plopped a grape in our mouths. We had been talking for at least an hour and all I had come to learn was that Calum was basically immune to severe sickness, and that he had a serious addiction to partying.
An intervention would commence eventually, but for now all I could do was talk him out of walking over to Noah's house.
"I'm not going over there, Calum." I shook my head before eating another grape and he sighed quietly as he placed his hands on the countertop. I glanced at his strong arms that seemed to be accentuated by the pressure he was putting on the surface. "And if you go over there and try to come back over after you've had a couple drinks... I will not be as understanding as last time."
"You wouldn't even offer me a cup of joe?" I laughed quietly at Calum's words, but my head shook in response. "Abbie's going to be there," Calum told me, continuing to try and persuade me to go with him.
"Calum, why do you want to go so badly? I know they're your friends, but..." I trailed off as I realized I was keeping Calum from spending time with the people he liked and I sighed to myself. "You can go if you want, I'm not keeping you here."
"I don't want to go without you, Maya." Calum walked around the island and to my side. "I'll drop it, okay? We don't have to go."
"Calum, you don't want to be here all night alone with me. You can go—"
"Whoa, I would love to stay here all night alone with you," he said and my eyes playfully rolled as I hit his shoulder. "It's just, I didn't go to school today, so I haven't seen my friends. Ashton's supposed to be there, and it would be nice to see Luke and Michael... Noah not so much."
"I am so sorry I'm creating some weird rift between you and Noah, I feel so strange about it."
"The rift has always been there... you just make it stand out a little more. We're competitive, and we always have been. Don't worry about it, he's still one of my best friends... he's just an asshole sometimes, but I can be an asshole too, so I can't get too upset with him." Calum took my hand into his and I found myself smiling before I could think to hide it. Any physical contact that Calum made with me caused butterflies to flutter throughout my entire stomach, and the feeling was almost addicting. "I know I keep apologizing, but I'm sorry for avoiding you all day. It's one of my biggest regrets thus far."
"Calum, if you bring it up one more time, I'm going to change my mind about it being okay. We're both a little scared of this... and that's okay, that's why we're in this together." Calum smiled down at me and I smiled back at him, finding it hard to look away. "Look... how about we go over for a couple minutes? But I'm serious when I say a couple, okay? I don't want to be there for very long."
"Are you sure? We don't have to," Calum said, but I nodded my head. I knew he wanted to and I would much rather go over with him for a little while than risk sending him over by himself so he could get caught up in something. "Is your dad usually here all the time?"
"I mean, he's usually in town all the time. He leaves pretty early for work and doesn't get back until around five. Sometimes he has meetings until around seven, but that's usually the latest he stays out." Calum and I had started walking to my front door, where we slipped on our shoes. "Why?"
"We've had a full week alone together... I don't know the normal angelic daughter schedule." My eyes rolled as Calum poked fun of me and I opened the door before gently pushing him out. I followed in suit and locked the door behind us.
"I'm usually home all the time..." I said, knowing that if we were to even go out for dinner or a movie, my dad would know I was doing something. "Funny thing, actually... uh, my dad may or may not know that there's a boy." Calum stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to look at me.
"What do you mean?" Calum asked and I laughed quietly before looping my arm through his and pulling him along.
"He was pestering me about keeping something from him so I finally admitted that I liked someone... but he doesn't know it's you, and I don't plan to tell him right away. I sort of told him I liked someone named Peter." Calum looked down at me with a raised eyebrow and my cheeks began to burn from embarrassment. "He knows there's potentially a guy, so he's preparing himself to be okay with me going out and stuff, that's all."
"You sure have a way of doing things, huh?" I shrugged my shoulders and Calum leaned down and kissed the top of my head gently. The action had both surprised and pleased me, but I stayed silent. "Have you ever liked Peter Lois?"
"Ew, no!" I said, getting fed up with Peter Lois. "My dad thought that's who I was talking about. That kid frustrates me. He's so far up his own ass."
"Ouch, poor kid."
"Jesus Christ... you are my dad." Calum raised a questioning eyebrow as I mumbled under my breath, but I just shook my head. "Nothing... never mind." We walked the rest of the way to Noah's in silence, but it was comfortable. As soon as we walked into the incredibly loud house, I began to regret my agreement to walk over.
"Calum, my man!" A guy I didn't recognize immediately wrapped his arms around Calum as we entered the door, and Calum began to talk to him. I wasn't interested in what they were talking about, so I found myself looking around, almost bewildered at the amount of people that were crammed into Noah's house. While I had come to the party the week before, it seemed much more packed.
"Oh my god, I love your hair!" A hand came in contact with my brown curls and I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked to see a familiar looking girl beside of me. I recognized her from somewhere, but had no clue what her name was.
"Oh... thanks," I said, sending her a small smile as I suddenly smelled the alcohol on her breath.
"Fuck, you're pretty," she said, her eyes widening as she stared back at me. "I've never noticed it before, but you're really pretty."
"Thanks," I told her again, not knowing what else to say.
"And here I was thinking all the guys liked you because you were basking in virginity, when you're just hot." I let out a small scoff as she spoke and felt myself become slightly uncomfortable.
"All the guys?" I asked her, having absolutely no clue what she was talking about.
"Oh, come on. Every guy at our school is hard for little miss Maya Jacobson." The girl leaned forward as she began to giggle and I leaned back, not wanting her to come too close. I was starting to feel a wave of claustrophobia come over me and it was clear the girl I was talking to had no awareness when it came to personal space. "You cover up so well that they can't help but wanna picture you without anything on." As the girl continued to get closer to me, I couldn't help but to react by placing my hands on her shoulders and pushing her away from me. It wasn't violent, but I hoped she would get the message.
"Hey, whoa," Calum cut in and placed his hand on my shoulder which I shied away from in embarrassment. "Is there a problem here?" Calum took his hand away from me and started to talk to the girl who had been talking to me.
"No problem, captain." The girl brought the cup she was holding up to her lips and sent me a wink before walking away.
"What was that?" Calum asked, turning completely toward me as he spoke. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I told him, speaking quietly as I made the effort to not make direct eye contact.
"Maya, that's obviously not true." Calum placed his hand on my arm and I breathed in deeply as his touch seemed to burn. I placed my hand on top of his and slowly moved his hand away.
"I'm just going to run to the bathroom, okay? I'm fine." Before Calum could stop me, I slipped through the crowd of people and started making my way to the bathroom that was on the main floor of Noah's house. Just as I got to the bathroom door, I was stopped by someone waiting outside.
"A couple went in there like twenty minutes ago, and I don't think they're coming out any time soon." I looked to my left to see someone I hadn't talked to in probably five years and slowly nodded my head, taking a step away from the door as I realized there was no longer a point in trying to open it.
"Thanks for the heads up," I said, quietly clearing my throat as I began to turn around.
"If you're trying to find a place to hide from the party scene, Fryer's bedroom is a good place to go." I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked back at the guy who was leaned against the wall, and I crossed my arms.
"What, do you suspect I'd let you accompany me up there?" I asked him, rolling my eyes.
"In your dreams, Jacobson. Fryer locks his room so no one bangs in there, but the key's just on top of the frame." My cheeks began to burn as Peter Lois successfully handed it to me and he sent me a sweet smile: "Don't flatter yourself." While no part of me wanted to be alone with Peter Lois, I really did need a moment to clear my head before going to look for Calum. So, instead of leaving the semi-vacant hallway, I stayed.
"You seem to be hiding from the party, so why don't you go up there?" I asked him, taking a step back as I leaned my back against the opposite wall from him.
"If you start flirting with me or something, I'm not going to entertain you. You might as well stop now."
"So, he's blunt and narcissistic," I said, looking over at him as he looked over at me. "I'm not going to flirt with you, asshole. I was asking you a question. I'm sorry for trying to divert my thoughts from the surrounding chaos."
"I'm not hiding... I'm just taking a short break." After a couple seconds of silence, Peter finally gave me an answer. "Being alone helps me recharge."
"I guess I'm ruining your alone time," I told him, starting to push myself away from the wall.
"No... you're fine," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't care if you stay or go, just do whatever you need." Peter wasn't looking at me anymore, but I couldn't help but to look over at him. I was confused by him, and I still wasn't a fan, but I didn't mind to stand in his presence as I recollected myself. "Did you come for Calum?"
"I came with Calum," I corrected him, shrugging my shoulders as I looked away from him.
"So, I'm not crazy? I knew you two have been... weird."
"We're just... friends," I said, shrugging my shoulders.
"No one has ever been just friends with Calum Hood," Peter said, scoffing under his breath. "And I know for a fact that Calum or any of his buddies would never want to be just friends with you." I looked down as my stomach began to flip and I started to wonder why I already had two people tell me something about guys liking me. "Calum seems to genuinely like you, so congratulations on chilling him the fuck out."
"It's probably stupid to get involved though, right?" I asked Peter, entirely unsure of why I was opening up to him.
"I don't know," he said, shrugging his shoulders to emphasize that he also didn't care. I looked away from Peter and down at my hands, starting to feel awkward as we stood there. "I don't really know the guy... but just because he's made a couple mistakes doesn't mean he's all bad. We've been waiting for Maya Jacobson to do something wild."
"What does that mean? Who has been waiting?"
"You're perfect, Maya. People notice you for it, and it gets on people's nerves. You're nice as hell, usually, I guess... and everything's so easy for you. And you never do anything wrong... it's not like you're invisible. On top of all these good qualities, you're easily the prettiest girl at our school, so everyone envies you a little." As Peter spoke, my eyebrows furrowed and my stomach twisted. "Getting with Calum Hood is you dipping your toe in something not perfect. You're finally mixing things up."
"I am not perfect and nothing comes easy. I just called you an asshole, so I wouldn't say I'm overly nice," I told him, shaking my head.
"I'm just telling you what the masses think, okay? Don't shoot the messenger." I stared over at Peter and he glanced at me, but looked down at the ground as we both stayed silent. Someone walked into the hallway and I looked up to see Calum. I pushed myself off the wall and turned to face him.
"You okay?" I sighed quietly, but nodded my head. "How about we just go, okay? I'm not in the mood to talk to Fryer, and Michael and Luke haven't even shown up yet."
"Yeah, sounds good," I started walking toward Calum and I looked over my shoulder to see Peter looking up at me. I subtly waved and was surprised as his hand raised and waved back. Calum and I made our way through the living room and found our way outside.
"Peter Lois?"
"I know I've kind of asked you this before, but did you notice me before chemistry class? I know you knew me... but—"
"You're gonna shoot down my Peter Lois question?" My eyes rolled as Calum tried to act like the Peter Lois incident was important and I crossed my arms.
"Do people really think I'm some pretty suck up who gets what she wants?" I stopped walking as I spoke and Calum's eyebrows furrowed.
"Maya, what are you talking about?" Calum asked, clearly confused as to why I had brought it up.
"I've spent the last five years of my life happily under the radar, but now it's come to my attention that people pay attention to me in more ways than one. I don't do anything, I purposely keep to myself. Do guys actually like me? I don't want them to, I—"
"Maya... people notice you, but because you're so damn good. You're gorgeous, you have good grades, you're nice to people that deserve to be punched in the face, you're untouchable—"
"When I was just a bet, at first, how long had you thought of me like that? As another girl to—"
"Maya, you've never been just another girl. That stupid bet just placed the obligation to finally talk to you in my hands. It's a lousy way to talk to you, like such a fucking lousy way, but I did not have the confidence to actually talk to you. Hell, I still don't, that's why I keep fucking up. I don't deserve you in the slightest, My, because you're so good." Calum placed his hands on my arms and I breathed in deeply as he spoke to me, taking in his words. "What's got you thinking about this?"
"Peter Lois just told me that people envy me for being perfect, and that girl was talking about how every guy at school has a thing for me which doesn't make any sense. I'm not involved in anything! I don't do anything, so people couldn't possibly pay attention to me. No one knows me."
"Are you mad about people noticing you?" Calum asked and I slowly crossed my arms as I thought about it.
"I'm not mad... I'm confused. If so many people notice me, why don't people talk to me? No one ever talks to me."
"You're intimidating," Calum told me, shrugging his shoulders. "And you can't say that no one talks to you. I'm sure guys try to talk to you all the time."
"I got asked out on one date last year, and the guy was Andy Stewart. We went to dinner, I didn't tell my dad, and it was horrible. I figured I wasn't going to have anyone that was truly worth my time actually like me during high school." I looked down as I thought about the date I had gone on the year prior, and just how incredibly horrible Andy Stewart had proved himself to be. Calum got quiet and I slowly looked up at him to see that he was looking down, fidgeting with his fingers.
Breathing in deeply, I placed my hands over his and he abruptly looked up at me.
"You've changed that... just so you know." Calum slowly tilted his head to the side as he looked at me curiously. "I think you're worth my time, even after today. I know you can tell I'm still hesitant, but I just want you to know that I honestly have a lot of faith in you. And I know that's not the sweetest or most romantic thing to say, but I sincerely mean it, and—"
"Maya... that means a lot coming from you."
"My point exactly," I told him, smiling to myself as I nodded my head. "I don't know how long it's going to take me to stop doubting you from time to time, but I want you to know that I want to fully trust you... and if I wasn't so impressionable and self conscious, I could fully trust you, without any issues. But I have insecurities and I have fears, and—"
"Maya."
"And if for some reason you end up being a total asshole... I can feel it in my bones that you're going to become important to me, and that terrifies me because I know losing you could hurt so much. But I'm trusting you not to do that, you hear me? I'm trusting you, Calum Hood." A smile broke out onto Calum's face and I couldn't help but to tilt my head in curiosity, mirroring his earlier action. "If you have some goal to—"
"My one goal is to make you happy," Calum spoke quietly and I slowly bit my lip as we stared at one another. "For as long as you'll let me."
"You seem so good," I replied quietly, not knowing what to think of Calum as he stood in front of me. He slowly lifted his hand toward my face, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"I want to be good... for you," Calum told me, keeping his hand in my hair as he caressed my cheek. "I am going to be good... for you. Or at least I hope. I'm not going to sit here and say I'll be the best thing that's ever happened to you, that's super egotistic and smug, but... I'm going to try my damn best to be someone you appreciate, not someone you come to hate. I'm falling for you, Jacobson, and so far, it's been a highlight of my life."
"If you don't kiss me soon... I'm going to protest." The corner of Calum's lips flicked into a smile, and the contagious expression found its way onto my face. I had barely noticed how close we had become while speaking, but was glad that we wouldn't have to waste any time to be near one another. Calum's hand found its way to my cheek, and he gently ran his thumb against my cheek, causing me to feel a million ways. I gently bit my lower lip, and applied more pressure as Calum's other handed landed on my waist, pulling me closer.
"Forgive me in advance for any headaches I may cause you... but I plan to be worth each and every one," Calum told me, lowering his voice to a whisper as he spoke to me directly.
"Falling and headaches can go hand in hand, right?" I replied, implying that I was falling for him, too. Calum grinned as I spoke and did not hesitate to kiss me, hard. I laughed quietly against his lips, but didn't dream of not immediately kissing back, knowing I had been waiting for him to kiss me all afternoon. I brought both of my hands up to his cheeks, keeping him close.
I couldn't believe that Calum Hood was mine to kiss. I had a boy to kiss, and while he might be an idiot, he was going to be my idiot.
Calum pulled away for a moment, and while I expected him to kiss me again, he stayed away. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me, a smile plastered on his face.
"What?" I whispered, looking up at him.
"It's nothing," he whispered, shaking his head as if he were clearing his thoughts. "I'm just really happy right now."
a/n:
LMAOOOOO
I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR A MINUUUUTEEEEEE
ummmmmm sorry!!!!!!!
i love u guys!!!!!
thanks for pestering me to update!!!!!!!!
here u go!!!!!
HOPE ITS OK!!!!
i will update soon (hopefully)!!!!!!!
:))))))
<3
jill