I sat there shocked. He expects just as much of his Luna as my grandpa did. He actually wants a Luna to help him run the pack like its meant to be.
I had a feeling that he would say that his Luna was there to raise pups and help people with their problems. Or be like a counsellor with a very minor role who thinks she's helping.
I stared at him and he suddenly looked really nervous.
"Blake if you don't want to, I understand. It's a lot to take on, and you didn't exactly have a choice. I really would love for us to run our pack together. Like my parents did. But I get that this situation isn't exactly ideal for you." He cut himself off from continue his rant.
I sat there silent because I was trying to determine if this would be his attitude up until we mated or if he would he flip like my father. I had a feeling he wouldn't.
"Blake, please say something. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Or if you have other ideas... anything. Please, say something."
"Something."
He sighed and pushed a piece of hair behind my ear, "What are you thinking? Why are you scared?"
Scared? Okay, maybe I was panicking a little. It wasn't the responsibility, it was just that I didn't want him to take it all back after we mated.
I don't know if my wolf could remain sane as we sat idly by.
He interrupted my thoughts as he gently tilted my head up so I would meet his eye. He looked so worried, and- I don't even know. Panicked? There were so many emotions. We sat there until he sighed quietly, "How about we just sleep on it?"
"Have you always thought this way?"
"What?" he seemed shocked by my sudden question, "Um yeah. I used to question dad about what mom did. I guess I just thought that's what they did. Dad always told me they were equals. I guess I took it to heart."
"Will you always think this way?"
"Blake if you don't have the same opinion we'll compromise, it's not a problem."
"Caden, the problem is that I agree with you. Luna's should do things to run the pack."
"How is that a problem?" He asked confused.
"Because if I end up sitting idly by my wolf is going to go rogue. She won't be able to take it. And nor will I. I've always thought the same way, so if I end up just watching, it won't end well."
"I just told you I wanted us to run our pack. Why would you think you won't get to?" He was getting more confused by the second.
I sighed and made myself clear everything up, "My grandfather and I were really close. My fathers dad, our old alpha. We were always together. His mate and him ran the pack how you described, she was like a mother to all of us. And my grandpa relied on her like he relied on his lungs. They were so close. Everyone knew one without the other was useless."
"Blake I still don't get it."
"I want that. I've always wanted that. That's why I have always wished for fated mates. I assumed my mate would want the same thing." I paused as I glanced up at him, "My mom and I talked the day before I left my p-old pack." I corrected myself, "She said my father always thought the same way as grandpa. He wanted a strong Luna to help run the pack with him, one that he relied on. She said how she fell in love with a guy who died though, because after they mated he pulled away. She was cast aside. She has no role in the pack. Actually, she has no role in his life at all. most don't know they're mates.
"Blake I won't do that. I've always thought this way. And to answer your question, yes. I will always think this way."
"And if my mom had asked my father before they mated, he probably would've said the same thing."
"I can't argue that. But I give you my word Blake, we will run our pack, together."
I looked down. It sounds mean, but words just don't do it for me.
"Blake look at me." I shook my head slightly and felt him run his thumb under my eye, wiping away a tear I didn't know I let fall. "Please show me those sparkling brown eyes." I rolled my eyes but looked up at him, "I'm going to prove this to you. I haven't mentioned anything about this pack, except the people, and maybe that was wrong of me. I didn't want to bombard you with everything, I didn't even know if you wanted to do any of this. But I really do want you to."
"I want to believe you. I just don't know if I can."
"When you said 'I want this to work, I just don't know if I can.' You talking about this?"
"Yes. I don't want to go rogue. Not only for me, but this pack would slowly lose their alpha, and have already lost their Luna."
"See, I need you by my side. You put the pack first for everything."
"It's the alpha in me."
"Blake if you don't want to do this, don't. But I need you. If I've learned nothing else before you, I know I've never been the alpha I have the potential to be." His voice changed and he let it be softer as he gave a small chuckle, "Even though Dan would say 'I told you so', you do complete me."
I tried to look down but he held my chin gently but firmly, "Will you promise me something?" I asked.
"Anything."
"Don't push me away."
He tackled me to the bed and rolled us over so he was on top of me. He put a piece of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead, "I promise to never push you away. This is our pack. And we'll run it as such. Yes?"
Lookin ginto his eyes, I couldn't not believe him. "Yes."
He put his lips on mine and kissed me so genuinely that I felt like everything he said was true.
"Plus, I can't keep my hands off you, I'd much rather have you against me than even an inch away. I couldn't push you if I wanted to." I rolled my eyes but smiled. Mom said she had doubt, but for some reason I don't have any, and I don't even know him.
Before I knew it he rolled off and grabbed two bowls. He handed me one and I thanked him.
"And you thought we couldn't spend all day in here," he said lightening the mood.
"I guess we had more to talk about than I thought."
"And we haven't even started."
"What else is there?"
"It's more like, what have we covered? I don't know anything about you except part of your personality and what you take in your coffee."
"My personality?"
"Well, I will never win an argument with you, except maybe if you're tired-"
"And if you take advantage of that there will be consequences," I said and he chuckled.
"Never. You're happy, always smiling and laughing. You even found things to laugh about after you were sent from your old pack to mate with a stranger." I shrugged and he continued, "You appreciate simple things, and are down to earth. You're compassionate and care like a Luna should. Blake, you really do amaze me. You have even more good qualities, and I haven't even known you a month."
"Maybe I'm a better actor than I thought."
"Oh no, that's all you."
"I doubt it."
"Really? In the week and a half you've been here, you've picked Daniel up, helped Sam, Adam, and brought me life. I didn't even know that was possible anymore."
I shrugged, "It's no big deal." So they laugh a little more. Wow. Note the sarcasm completely coating those words.
"See. Absolutely remarkable." I rolled my eyes. "So what else should I know about you?"
We were half done our yogurt as we were eating while we talked.
"There's nothing to me. I grew up with Jess, as my one really close friend, knew most of the pack enough to keep up on their lives, have always been close to my brother, Benjamin, and even closer to Dana. My grandma and I were close, but grandpa and I were inseparable. He's the reason I sit out in the morning under the sun, and why I've always loved the woods. And just recently I found out that I have a bigger reason to hate my father. Not to mention that he never trusted me to run a pack, or even talk to me like an equal. But I also grew closer to my mom, so it was more than worth it. Oh, and I was sent here to mate with a guy who is bipolar." I joked.
"How am I bipolar?"
"One minute your joking around and the next your completely serious. It used to be that one minute you were business and the next a brother, but luckily that stopped."
"Yeah, thank God for that."
"Anyway, that's my whole life."
He was studying my whole face with a lopsided grin, "How did I get so lucky?"
"I just told you my life is super boring and basically nothing. Not an ounce of excitement and you think you're lucky? Maybe you're just crazy not bipolar."
He laughed, "Well you got lucky too then, I'm the one werewolf out of thousands that is crazy."
"I guess that's one way to look at it." It grew silent before I asked, "So what about you? What's your life been like?"
Sadness came across his face before pain, hurt, relief and ultimately happiness. It was almost like I could see his whole life as it replayed in his head by the emotions on his face.
"My dad and I were really close, my brother and mom were closer. We all got along, just interests were diferent I guess. My parents died together when I was seventeen. I took over the pack not long after, about a month. Like I said, my dad relied on mom to keep this pack running how I believe it should be run. They were fated mates, the last ones this pack has had in my life. Anyway, I grew up with Kyle but he got power hungry and we went our separate ways. I chose Dan as beta because I knew he would never do that. Our old beta lost his mate not long after our parents died and he went crazy before he took off. Last we heard he joined some pack. Sorry, I'm not focussed. After that I went all into serving this pack. I thought it would be what was best for it, until I met you. Dan has been a great decision. He keeps me in line and I definitely would've bottomed out after my parents' death, but I had to be here for him, so I was. Then I got a call about the war coming and I know my pack isn't big enough to fight off the rogues. When your father called we met. I agreed to ally." he quit talking and I know he was thinking about how to say the next part.
"Caden, you can stop there. I get the rest of it."
"Except why."
"For your pack. You just said that."
"Yeah. It was for my pack. But after talking to your father I... I wanted to meet you. I wanted to get to know you. I just had this strong urge to meet you. I have no idea what made me want to get to know you, spend time with you, just be near you even, but I'm so glad I have."
"But why? You said I didn't know the why."
"I saw you that night on that date and I got so envious. I told your father off since you were supposed to be single. He insisted you were and I got so jealous I moved the alliance up. I have never felt that strongly about a girl. Ever. The original deal was that you lived there until a few days before the war. But... I'm sorry Blake, I couldn't stand you being with other guys so we decided you come here earlier. I'm sorry Blake, you should've had another month-"
"No. I would've mated with you and not even known you. I would've rebelled. But now I know you and don't feel like a prisoner, even if I got to roam free."
"See, you see the best in every situation. You're more than amazing, you're more than remarkable. You're just- you're perfect. You're a beautiful person, in every aspect."
******
Just a little history to go along with the story...
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I say fairly new because I wrote Never Again. and just finished it mere months ago!
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