Prologue
June 2006, New York
High school Prom was finally here. Something that all the seniors in the school had waited for with bated breath. Except for Arnav, he didn't really enjoy such events. The only goodthing about this was being able to see her. Khushi. There she stood with a group of friends, and her arm linked with her prom date. Saying that she looked stunning would be an understatement, because she looked much more than that. Her light brown hair was let out in long waves, framing her oval shaped face. Her skin was always beautiful, but today it seemed to be a more flawless creamy colour. Her hazel eyes were shining, framed with dark and very long lashes. Her nose ring was in the shape of a small ring today, instead of her usual stud. Her lips were a beautiful shade of pink, leaving him breathless. All of a sudden his prom date, put her arm around his waist and smiled, interrupting his stare session with Khushi.
---------
She could feel his eyes on her, staring. She did not usually think of herself as very beautiful, she always felt as if she was an average looking girl. But today, she was very dressed up as it was Prom. After getting dressed, she had looked into the mirror and admitted that she actually looked pretty for once. Well, with all that makeup and a beautiful dress, who wouldn't? So she assumed that he was staring at her for that very reason. Of course, he would always be the most handsome guy for her. Dressed in a slick black suit, he looked as charming as ever. Hair styled to perfection, his bright caramel eyes, and smooth angular jaw line always gave her butterflies in her stomach. He was perfection and she had always thought so. Of course, the rest of the girls did too as they were constantly swooning over him, but she had thought so from the minute she had laid eyes on him. However, perhaps she would never be good enough.
Her date, Viren had just left to go get some drinks when Arnav was suddenly beside her.
"Dance with me, Khushi?" he asked smoothly.
"Uhmm, my date..." she said nervously.
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Looking the way you do tonight, I'm sure many guys would be dying to dance with you." He said, causing her to stare at him in wonder. What was he thinking? What did he want? What did everything between them mean? They were not new questions in her mind, however as the end approached she could not help but wonder if there would ever be an answer to her unending queries.
She took his hand, and they made their way to the dance floor. His hands at her waist, and her hands around his neck, they slow danced.
"Arnav, why are you doing all this?" She asked sadly.
"What am I doing? I'm just dancing with you." He replied casually.
"Yes, but why? Why with me? What is it that you want? I can never understand you Arnav." She said sadly.
"Look Khushi, I don't even know myself why I'm doing this. I don't know what I want, but right now, I want to dance with you." He said while looking straight into her eyes.
So, they danced until the song was over.
She could very well see that he was unwilling to let her go so soon, and as much as her foolish mind wanted to stay, she relented.
"Sorry but my date is waiting for me, and I think yours is too. I need to go." She said in a quiet voice.
He knew she would say that, because he knew her better than anyone else in this room. She left and joined her date while his came to join him. He could hear his date telling him something, trying to make conversation, however he did not hear a word...his attention elsewhere.
A couple of minutes later, he found that her date was dancing with someone else. Where was she? Not on the dance floor, and he didn't see her with her friends. Suddenly his group of guy friends approached him.
"Hey ASR, looking good!" said his friend, joined by two others. "Who are you looking for? Oh wait, don't tell me it's that Khushi girl? What happened to your date? If you don't want her, I'll have her" said his friend naughtily, from which he received Arnav's glare.
"She's not some sort of toy that you can just pass around. Have some respect" said Arnav angrily.
"Whoa there buddy, I was just kidding! I think Khushi's love has finally gotten to you!" One laughed.
"What are you talking about?" Arnav snapped.
"She's obviously in love with you!" His friends burst into laughter. "Poor girl, you've been leading her on and on haven't you...Now you're sick of it. She wants something serious from you, doesn't she?"
"You guys don't know anything, so just shut up. Got it?"
"Got it dude, but does that Khushi girl know how you feel? I don't think she does, because she's obviously head over heels! Well so are many girls, but I think she's serious about it. You should confront her, you know? Tell her that you don't want love because I think she does. You wouldn't want to break her heart, now would you?" asked one friend slyly.
Hadn't he already broken her heart of several accounts? Hadn't he proved just how incapable of love he was? Didn't she understand that he could never give her the kind of relationship she wanted?
But his friends were right. High school was finally over and she deserved to move on properly without him leading her on.
Arnav found her outside the banquet hall, leaning against a tree and looking at the night sky.
Why did he feel like doing this was wrong? No, of course it was right, he needed to tell her.
~
Khushi felt his presence before she saw him. Great, why did her have to come and make thingsharder for her?
"Hey, I need to talk to you Khushi." He said nervously.
"No, you always talk. Why don't you hear me out for once Arnav?" She said angrily.
"Yes, I am in love with you. I've been in love with you for the past 14 years, ever since the first day I saw you. You probably haven't noticed since you're always thinking about yourself! I don't know what these past couple of months meant to you Arnav, or those small moments throughout all the years we have known each other but they meant something to me. I want to be with you. I want to spend my life with you. I have these stupid dreams about you Arnav! I accepted the same University as you, because I thought we could possible be together even then!! I have been hoping that just maybe, one day we'll get married and have kids. We'll grow old together and watch our grand kids play by our porch. Why is that Arnav?? Why can't I picture myself with anyone except you?" she asked desperately, tears streaking down her face. "I've never felt like this for anyone Arnav. And obviously, the one person I do feel it for, doesn't give a damn!" she said pushing him. She turned to leave, but Arnav grasped her hands, and pulled her to his chest.
He had never heard such a beautiful confession in his entire life. She truly loved him? He wanted to tell her that he loved her too. That they would get married and have many kids. And they would grow old together and sit by their porch while watching their grand kids. He wanted to tell her that these past couple of months meant something to him too, but why couldn't he? Because he didn't believe in love, and he didn't want it. Suddenly he saw his friends appear in the distance, as if reminding him of his mission. He couldn't bear to see her hear broken, but by not telling her and leading her on, he would probably be breaking her heart even more.
"Khushii listen to me. I'm sorry. These past couple of months were fun, but it was just a good friendship going on between us. One day, you'll move on and find someone who trulyloves you. We could never have that future Khushi, I'm sorry you feel this way." replied Arnav, his voice sounding much calmer than the one in his head. Why did he suddenly feel like his own heart was breaking?
She felt tears on the verge of falling.
"It was fun? Really Arnav? When you held me, when you hugged me, when you talked to me, even when you kissed me...you felt nothing at all? Wow" said a shocked and devastatedKhushi. She wasn't expecting him to open his arms for her, and tell her they would have all of that. But she was expecting him to at least say that he meant something to her, which apparently she didn't. She was officially broken. Now she knew why people say that they never wanted to fall in love.
Because all you really do get is heartbreak.
"Look Khushi..." said Arnav sadly.
"Just go Arnav, please just leave." She whispered.
As soon as he left, she sunk to the floor, not caring that her prom dress was getting ruined, and she cried. She let it all out in that very moment. Suddenly her phone rang, it was her Bua.
"Haan buaji, what's up?" she asked desperately trying to cover up how broken her voice sounded at the moment.
"Titaliya...you need to come home immediately." She said in a grave voice.
"Uff buaji! Its my prom night, and you're asking me to come home early! I thought I told you guys that I would be staying at a friend's house tonight!" Said Khushi.
"I know Khushi, but please listen to me, just come home." Buaji said.
"Buaji? What happened...you're freaking me out." Said Khushi nervously.
"Its your parents...they were in an accident...they didn't make it."
And with that Khushi left. Not fully realizing just yet, that she literally lost everything that day.