Amber
I sit up in a rush. I swore I had heard a car pulling up. I've spent the last three hours tossing and turning without managing to sleep.I turn to look at Nicholas who started snoring five minutes after getting into bed. I'm reminded of the fact that I heard someone outside as a car door opens and shuts loudly. I shake Nicholas.
"Nico! Wake up!" I continue to shake him until he groans.
"Amber? What is it? Did you have-". I interrupt him.
"Someone's here!" I feel my nerves growing.
"What do you mean?" Then, our attention is brought to the window as we hear a very familiar voice.
"Nicholas! YOU SON OF A BITCH! Get down here! I'm gonna kill you!" We both look at each other, not sure about what to do. He continues to yell.
"Amber! I love you! Please! Bella! I need you!" I can hear it in his voice, he's wasted. And his words only make me feel further guilt. He's in just as much pain as I am. I turn back to Nicholas as I hear some shuffling. I watch in horror as he grabs his gun.
"Nico! What are you doing with that?" I don't want anybody to get hurt and seeing as Alessandro is currently unstable, my worry only grows.
"Relax, it's just a precaution. He's drunk and in a bad place right now. He's unpredictable and my priority is to keep you safe, no matter what it takes." He places a kiss on my head.
"Don't worry, I'll try my best to calm him down." But his words do nothing to ease my worry. I know I should stay here but I can't. I need to make sure everything's alright because I wouldn't ever forgive myself if either one of them gets hurt. So, I wait for Nicholas to get down before following him. I watch as he holds his gun up before opening the front door.
"Alessandro. You need to calm down." He stays leaning against the wall, making sure to stay behind cover.
"I need to calm down? You're telling me to calm down? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" I can make out through the windows and my view from the door that Alessandro is making his way over to him. Nicholas quickly reacts getting outside and closing the door behind him. I rush down and open the door just enough to see what's happening outside.
"You're pissed off but we both know you love Amber. How about we calm down because this isn't good for her."Nicholas speaks calmly and tries to reason with the intoxicated man before him.
"Oh, boo hoo! Poor Amber. She broke my heart!" His demeanor shifts from anger to sadness.
"All I want is to see her, so get out of my way!"He walks closer to Nicholas who in change holds an arm up to stop him from getting closer.
"You can see her, but stop yelling and put that down." Only then did I realize that he's taken out a gun and he's aiming it at Nico. I should have stayed in the bedroom but I'm here now and I don't want either of them to get hurt. So, I open the door completely and walk out looking straight at the man who I truly love.
"Bella." I take in a deep breath, hearing him call me that has me feeling all kinds of ways.
"Amber! ARE YOU CRAZY?" Nico turns around to face me and I now have both of their attention.
"Come here." Alessandro extends his arms toward me, inviting me into them. I want to get him away from here so I take a few steps in his direction.
"No! Amber, wait." Nicholas grabs my wrist tightly, pulling me back toward him. I don't get a chance to object when a gunshot sounds through the air. Then, a grunt. Time seems to slow down and I watch Nico fall to the ground. A ringing invades my ears and I can't make sense of what's happening around me.
"Nico!" I know it's me who's yelling out but it sounds so foreign, so far away. I'm in complete shock, trying to piece everything that's just happened together. Then, just like that time speed up again and my heart begins to beat harder. Adrenaline begins to course my body as I'm brought up into the air and tossed over Alessandro's shoulder.
"No! Alessandro! Let me go! LET ME GO!" I begin to kick, punch and scratch. I need to make sure Nicholas is alright. Much to my dismay though, none of it seems to faze Alessandro in the slightest.
"Stop fighting. He's fine." He stops for a moment allowing me to look back and the guards around the house are now tending to Nico. Much to my relief he's back on his feet, looking at us. He looks ready to charge after Alessandro but the guards hold him back and I can see them trying to reason with him. He's doing his best to fight them off but there are too many. Alessandro puts me in the back seat of his car and I barely hear Nicholas before the car door is shut on my face.
"Let her go!" I look out through the window. The guards are holding onto him and he's doing everything he can to get out of their grip. He's managed to hit a few of them but it's no use. Even from the distance I can see the panic and anger in his gaze.My attention is pulled from the scene in front of me as Alessandro gets in next to me and at that moment I notice that there's someone else sitting in the driver's seat. Well, at least he isn't drunk driving. I look back over at Alessandro who looks back at me with glazed eyes and I feel my anger rise to it's peak.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? You could have really hurt him! Let me go, right now!" I yell at him and try to open the doors but it's no use, they're locked.
"Stop fighting! We're going home!" He grabs onto my wrists trying to restrain me.
"No! Let me go!" He grabs onto me harder and gives me a shake as if to make me come back to reality.
"You're mine. MINE! I don't care if you married him. You still love me! I know you do!" He yells but I hear no anger, only frustration and desperation. Tears begin to form in his eyes and I feel my heart break just a little more.
"I need you! It hasn't even been one day and I'm going crazy! Please! If you want to cheat on me you can but please, love me. I need you to love me." Well, I definitely know it's the alcohol talking but his pain is genuine and I can't stand to see him like this. Worst of all, I can't stand to know it's my fault. So, for tonight I'll put the thought of imminent danger aside.
"Ok, ok. Let's go home." He leans onto me and I put my arms around him. And, as you would with a child, I rub circles on his back and whisper calm words trying my best to soothe him. He's latched onto me and I know he isn't planning on letting me go. I sigh and the ride to his house continues in silence for a while and I can see the man in the front taking a few glances at us through the rear view mirror. It only takes a couple of minutes before Alessandro begins to snore. Then, it's as if the driver has come to life.
"I'm sorry. I really tried my best to persuade him to not go there but you know how he is and you just saw that it's worse when he's drunk." I look at him, he's obviously young and he has a small build. I smile. Ale, the real Ale, he always does his best to protect others and I know the reason the boy in the front seat isn't out on the streets taking care of all his dirty business is because he wanted to keep him away.
"Yeah. Thanks, it isn't your fault."He gives me a half-hearted smile, as if wanting to say more. His brown eyes hold a sad look.
"Hey, what's your name again?" He seems taken aback by my interest but almost immediately after a smile appears on his face.
"Ryan." He gives a subtle nod. Before I can even think of what to say next, he speaks.
"Mrs...Bianci. I hope I'm not out of line but I believe you should be with the capo. You just saw that he's obviously crazy about you and I'm sorry but you've never seemed as happy with Nicholas." If only he knew how right he is. I feel a knot form in my throat and before tears begin to form I push it all aside and answer him.
"Well, I appreciate the honesty but things are a little more complicated than just who I'm happy with." The words come out in a harsher tone than I'd intended but I guess it has to do with the fact that I am at my limit. After a life of suffering I finally found what I need and I can't have him. I look down at the grown man now sleeping soundly on my lap and sigh, running my fingers through his hair.
"I'm sure they are. This life, the mafia life has never been and never will be easy. And in this lifestyle we never know when we'll die. I only suggest you do what's best for you." Well, he's young and I'm sure he hasn't been here for that long but his words are true, he isn't the first to tell me something like that.
"Thank you." I can't think of something else to say so I smile at him, genuinely grateful for his concern.
"Of course, you deserve a good life. If you were swept into this world you should at least be happy. When you were capo you did many things to prove you are not a bad person. Also, only you make him less... angry." I laugh at his final statement.
"Just say it, I make him less of an asshole." I say with an almost grin on my face. It's true, with me he's a completely different man but with everyone else, he's Alessandro Santos the capo.
"Only if I want him to kill me." He says half jokingly and half serious. I look out the window, watching the passing trees.
"Don't worry, I wouldn't let him." It's the last thing I say before we fall back into silence. It only take a minute or two to finally reach Alessandro's house, the place that used to be our home. I take in the almost completely restored front, we had made sure to get it fixed and it's truly amazing to see that they're nearly done. I shake Alessandro lightly and he groans.
"Hey. We're here." He opens his eyes groggily and sits up.
"Where?" Then, he closes his eyes again and his head lolls back.
"Alessandro!" I shake him again and this time it seems he's a little more alert. He looks around before answering.
"Oh." I roll my eyes, he's completely stupefied and I know getting inside the house is going to be hard enough, not to mention that I still have to get him upstairs.
"Come on, let's go." He only nods his head.
"Would you like me to help?" Ryan offers but I shake my head.
"Don't worry." I smile and I hear an almost growl next to me.
"Hey! stop talking to her!" Alessandro yells in anger and wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him. He opens the door and somehow manages to get out, dragging me along with him. He positions himself before hoisting me up onto his shoulder again. He takes a few steps and it's obvious that he can barely walk.
"Let me down." I say as calmly as I can but it only makes him grip onto me tighter.
"No! Mine." He huffs and keeps walking. He stumbles a little and trips a few times.
"Put me down! We're going to fall!" He stops and scoffs.
"No. I'll always protect you." And just immediately after I feel my stomach churn as he trips and we go down. I close my eyes and wait for the hard ground but instead I fall on top of something soft. I open my eyes and come face to face with Alessandro who's under me.
"SEE? I told you we would fall." I frown at him but he only smiles, bringing his hand up to my face and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"But, I didn't let you get hurt. I'll always protect you." My heart squeezes at his sweet words. But, you can't protect me from everything Ale and you've already done enough. It's my turn to protect you.
"Let's just get inside." I smile and stand up, offering him my hand. He stands and we finally make our way through the front door. The house is eerily quiet and everything I used to love about it is just gone. I can't stand in here and feel safe and happy, so much has changed and it feels awful. My attention is brought to Alessandro who stumbles into the living room and lays down on the couch. I walk over to him trying pulling him up to no avail.
"Hey, no. Let's go to your room." He mumbles something incoherent before yelling out.
"No!" He reaches up and pulls me onto him. He wraps his arms around me. I struggle for a bit but to my dismay he falls asleep. I should keep fighting him and make him let me go but I don't want to. I missed this, I needed this, I needed him. I've been longing to be in his arms again but I hadn't realized just how much. I begin to cry as his snores fill the room, this is all I want but I can't have it and I definitely don't deserve it. Oh, Ale why can't you just hate me? That's what I deserve because in the end my father was right, I'm nothing more than a cheap slut. I keep crying until I begin to drift into sleep, I lay my head onto his warm chest, listening to his heartbeat. I wrap my arms around him and think that maybe, just maybe, I can pretend everything is alright only for tonight.