A week had passed, and god, I was beyond overwhelmed. After Marco had kindly introduced me to his buddies I'd hardly managed to find a moment of peace.
Sasha was the absolute worst, by far. She would start yapping my ear off about hunting and life in her little farming village, and of course, she would just stare at my food until I shared it with her during every single meal. I was already underweight, I didn't need to lose any more, but there wasn't exactly anything I could do about that.
Then there was Connie. I suppose his aim was to impress me, or something, because whenever I was training with the regular cadets he'd always call for my attention. It was impossible to deny that he was extremely talented with ODM gear, but his book smarts were severely lacking. Though, I did always find myself wondering what he would look like with more hair.
Reiner wasn't a problem, really. He gave me enough space and treated me with respect whilst still maintaining a friendly vibe. He even taught me a few little tricks when it came to hand to hand combat, which I was thankful for. He still intimidated me though. His childhood friend, Bertholdt, wasn't too bad, either. He was quieter than Reiner, and much more timid, though he did try to strike up conversation with me whenever we were around each other. He had once fallen asleep during out short break, and I still couldn't understand how someone could sleep on their stomach with their legs above their head.
Reiner had announced that it meant it would rain that evening. It did.
Jean was just...Jean. His short, teasing comments didn't really stop, but he kept his distance. Especially when I shot him a glare. He had secretly seen me back to the barracks twice more during that week when I had stayed out late in the stables, and each time I had let him know I was aware at the last minute. I think he began to consider it a challenge to keep me from finding him out.
Marco himself was just a blessing when I put the fact he had brought upon these torturous events aside. He was kind, courteous and just a genuinely gentle soul. Ever since our first encounter he would try to make sure nobody pushed me too far out of my comfort zone, and he'd always sorry scold me if I skipped meals or refused to sleep. The only real downfall I could really find was that he was far too modest.
Nobody else gained much of my attention, apart from that annoying Yaeger boy and his vendetta against titan-kind, but I was still way beyond my comfort zone. Especially when several of these new 'friends' of mine made my chest seize up whenever I was around them. Confused and in the dark, I found myself approaching the only person who I really trusted to help.
"Hey...um...can ask you something..?" I tugged on Eld's sleeve after I had found him polishing his boots with Gunther outside of their temporary section of the barracks.
"Hmm? Oh, sure, kiddo, what's up?" He asked with a smile; motioning for me to sit down. Opting to keep standing, I chewed on my lip and kicked at the stray stones littered around my feet.
"What does it mean when your chest gets tight around someone..? A..and your heart gets all jumpy...and you get all hot and bothered..?"
Eld nearly choked on air, and Gunther didn't even attempt to muffle his laughter, which made me feel incredibly small. Unlike his companion, Eld managed to quickly compose himself, yet he avoided my eyes.
"That's...not exactly something I'd be good at explaining...Why...don't you go ask Petra? I'm sure she'd be happy to discuss this...uh...issue..." He began to polish his boot again, but I was less than pleased with his answer.
"But I like talking to you more than her...and it sometimes happens around you, too...so I wanna know why..." Cue Gunther toppling off his stool in absolute hysterics; slapping the cobblestone ground with tears in his eyes. Eld, on the other hand, was a brilliant shade of rouge. If he scrubbed the leather any harder he'd wear it right through.
"This is definitely a Petra thing..! Right up her alley! I...uh, I think I saw her wandering around your side of the barracks! Yep, she'll tell you all you need to know, so hop to it, kiddo!" His voice was pitched and oddly strained, which peaked my confusion. Giving him a sad, dejected look, I sighed and turned to head in the direction he had instructed.
"Fine...sorry to bother you guys..." I mumbled before going off in search of the ginger woman. I could hear Eld yelling at Gunther, who was still having his laughing fit on the ground, but I tried to shake it off. It wasn't my fault I was clueless, and I didn't at all understand why Eld was so eager to palm off my question.
It didn't take me long at all to find Petra, as she was conveniently wandering around in search of me, too.
"Oh, (Y/N)! Perfect! Just the girl I wanted to see!" She grabbed my hand in hers before I had a chance to step back, and now I was being led off towards an unknown destination. "Commander Erwin wants to talk to you!"
Ah, shit...I don't wanna talk to bushbrows right now...
"A..actually...I wanted to ask you something...I tried asking Eld, but he got all...weird about it..." I spoke up and the woman slowed our pace down to a walk.
"He did? Well, hit me with it!" She smiled at me, and I tried my best to return it, but it was difficult when her hand was still intertwined with mine.
"Well...I keep getting this strange feeling whenever I'm around certain people...It's like fear...but it's not that...My chest squeezes, and I feel all...jittery..."
This seemed to gain her complete attention, as she stopped dead and spun to face me.
"Do your palms get sweaty? Does your mouth go kinda dry? Does it get way worse the closer they get?" She kept throwing those questions at me, and all I could do was nod at each and every one. Finally, she sighed and a sweet smile spread across her face. "Sweetie, it means you're attracted to them!"
Say what now..?
"A..attracted..? You mean like...a crush..?" I hadn't ever been taught about stuff like that. I had only ever read about that kind of thing in books, but that still didn't give me a vast understanding about romance or how it feels to actually like somebody.
"That's right! Aw, honey, I really need to step up and be your big sister! Teach you everything there is to know about all of this stuff!" As she chattered on about things she'd need to discuss with me, I froze.
I..I just basically told Eld that I find him attractive..! Holy shit! How the fuck am I going to ever look him in the eye again?! Now I can't blame him for being so awkward!
At some point Petra began to lead me off again, but I just kept cursing myself internally until we ended up right outside Erwin's door.
"Just knock and see yourself in, because I have to go and find Oluo...and...um, sort some stuff out..! When you're done you can come and find me and we'll start our lady lessons!" The beaming ginger left me at the door, and I stared after her for a while before knocking.
"You may enter." Erwin's dignified voice called out, and I entered to find both he and Levi were sitting on the sofa with their tea. "Ah, I'm glad you made it, (Y/N). Care for some tea?" I shook my head no and stopped to stand before them with my hands clasped in front of my stomach.
"I heard you wanted to talk to me about something?" I looked just over the top of his head; his eyes were always too intense for my liking.
After spending a great portion of my life in the wilderness, even this office seemed far too classy to me. The company was also way too high brow for my liking, even though they were merely soldiers themselves.
"Yes, that's correct. We finally heard back from Premier Zachary about your situation, and he's decided that it would be best to test your skills to see if you would truly be an asset to the Survey Corps..." Erwin explained, and my jaw automatically clenched. "In two weeks time, he shall come to assess your abilities and make a decision. Now, in no way are we forcing you to join the Scouts...but if you decline this opportunity, we cannot promise that you will not be detained by the interior police, or worse, returned to your family..."
"It's your choice, brat...Us, or memory lane...What's it gonna be..?" Levi crossed his leg over his knee and leant back into the sofa; unreadable eyes sweeping me up and down, before he took a sip of his tea. I had already come to a decision, but of course I wanted to at least set my own rules, so I boldly opened my mouth.
"I'll accept your proposal...but only with some conditions..." I said in my steadiest voice, which even surprised me. I had Erwin's unwavering attention, and one of his thick brows quirked up in interest.
"Okay then, (Y/N)...What would these conditions be..?"
Here goes nothing...
"Firstly, I wish to be exempt from wearing that uniform. It resembles what I grew up seeing every day, just with a different insignia..." I motioned to the uniform jacket hanging by the Commander's desk, and he followed my gaze.
"I can't allow you to be without a uniform...but I can offer that alterations be made so it better suits your tastes. Is that a fair enough compromise?" Erwin was in his element now. He was being fair, but he knew exactly how to bend and phrase things to make sure he still got what he wanted. It was as good as I was going to get.
"I suppose so..." I pursed my lips before I inhaled and continued. "Next, and I'm not budging on this...I will not be forced to tack my horse, and I shall always be riding him for missions and expeditions." It wasn't a question, and the hints of an amused smirk were playing at Erwin's lips as he watched me closely.
"I can accept that if it means you will be better in the field. Is there anything else?" He mimicked Levi's position now, except his hands sat neatly in his lap, and it made me feel like I was having an interview instead of trying to state my claim.
"Y..yeah...two more things, actually..." I stepped forward and placed my hands on the backrest of the armchair; my tongue being clipped inside my mouth by my teeth. "I downright refuse to refer to anybody as Sir." I didn't waver on that. It was more of a statement than a request, and the man's bright blue eyes seemed to spark along with it.
"Tch, I wouldn't say that you're in a position to ask for all of these things, kid..." Levi muttered; seemingly taking very little interest. Erwin, on the other hand, looked kind of thrilled.
"That is your choice to make, (Y/N). Many captains and highly ranked officers will likely resent and object to it, but I will not force you to comply if that makes you uncomfortable..." He gave me an understanding nod. "What is the final request?"
This one...this one is the most important...
"If this Zachary bastard decides to return me to that family..." I locked eyes with Erwin; dead (E/C) against crystal, and gripped the upholstery with sharp nails. "...Levi is to execute me on the spot." I expected Erwin to look shocked, but I definitely didn't expect the smaller man next to him to spit his tea and splutter.
"B..bold of you to assume I would agree to such bullshit..." The ravonette growled as he wiped his mouth and reached for a napkin to dab his now stained cravat.
Bold of you to assume I didn't expect you'd jump at the chance to spill some blood...
"Fine...then Brows here will do it." I motioned to Erwin, who hesitated before he stood from his seat and approached me; his right hand reaching out and stopping in front of my chest.
"You have my word, as Commander of the Scout Regiment...If that is the final decision, I shall be the one to end your life." He sounded so certain of himself, as though he wouldn't even have a problem with it, and that made me both relieved and terrified at the same time.
"This is fucking ridiculous..." Levi spat under his breath as I shook the Commander's hand; my hardened gaze softening as I trailed up to his eyes, then slightly above.
"What are you looking at, (Y/N)..?" Erwin questioned almost cautiously, and I coughed and shrugged my shoulders.
"N..nothing...just...browsing..." I mumbled; trying to ignore the pair of men sweatdropping at my pathetic sense of humour. "Anyway, I guess I'll go and work on my ODM technique or something...if I only have two weeks..." I turned and started walking towards the door, waving over my shoulder as though I was bidding goodbye to two chums instead of my superiors.
"Oh, brat..." Levi called out to me just as I was about to shut the door, and I peeked my head back in. "Not tomorrow, but the next...I'm taking you for a three day training course. No distractions, just hard, gruelling work. Prepare yourself." We glared at each other for the longest time, and I swore even Erwin was beginning to grow uncomfortable before I; being the charming young lady I was, simply stuck my tongue out and slammed the door in their faces.
Training course..? Is he serious..? Even if it does help a little...there's no way I'll be able to impress that Premier guy...I'm just gonna end up how I should have been in the first place...
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***B R O W S* - The puns in this chapter are dedicated to my precious child. You know who you are (it won't let me tag on my laptop oof)**