Luke Hemmings
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If there's one thing that I can be certain of, it's that I'm losing my goddamn mind.
In fact, it's so far gone you might as well call it the lip ring I took out two years ago, because the chances of me finding either of them are slim to none.
The harsh reality is that I came this close to saying something to Elise that I'm not entirely sure she's ready to hear. Or, maybe I'm just not ready to hear the opposite of what I almost said.
Almost. I almost said it.
But 'almost' means nothing, because I didn't say it, and Elise isn't a mind reader.
The scary part is, I hadn't even second guessed it when the thought crawled its way into my brain. For lack of a better term, it seemed right, and it's still undoubtedly the truth. And although Elise didn't seem to pick up on my slip up, there's absolutely no way she couldn't feel how fast my heart was beating when she slid her hands down my chest, and that terrified me, because I wanted nothing more than to tell her why.
But I'm selfish, and maybe a little bit of a coward, so I kept it to myself, just waiting for the right moment to let it out. I want to tell her, I do, but only when I'm sure she's ready to hear it.
And when I think she might want to say it back.
The tricky thing is, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Every time I see her, even days later, my chest aches and my throat feels tight from pushing the words down.
But something happened, the other day, that made me question whether or not I was an idiot for not saying it sooner. It was our routine, a typical day of classes followed by Elise staying long past the end of my lecture. Which, taken in its simplest form, is quite innocent, considering she is my student and I did offer her extra help. But, I'd be lying if I said my intentions in offering that help weren't anything but pure, and our work in that room could hardly be considered academic.
It started when I left the room to take a phone call, only to groan upon my return seeing as Elise decided to perch herself on my desk, laid on her stomach with her legs kicked up and her chin in her palms. The smile she sent me when I closed the door made me feel warm, but the way she bit her lip after had my mind running wild, which is why I felt the need to lock the door.
"Comfy, are we?" I tilted my head, running my tongue over my bottom lip as I made my way over to her.
She let out a huff, cheeks puffing out as she sunk them further into her palms. "Bored, actually."
I raised an eyebrow, crouching down to reach her eye level from her position on the desk. "And what should I do about that?"
She grinned. "Entertain me."
A simple enough request, but it didn't stop my mind from conjuring up ideas to keep every part of her occupied.
Oh I can entertain you, alright. I can entertain you right on this desk—
"Your desk is weirdly comfortable," Elise furrowed her brows, snapping me out of my daydreams of bending the girl over it. "I might just fall asleep."
I raised an eyebrow. "You have work you're supposed to be doing."
She grinned, raising a brow of her own. "Yeah? And who's gonna make me?"
Does she think this is a game? She's going to lose.
I stood up, standing rather tall over her with my arms crossed over my chest. "Awfully brave of you to say when your Professor is right here."
She sat up at this, legs dangling off the edge of the desk and a sheepish grin masked by her teeth biting down on her lower lip. "Sorry, Mr. Hemmings, I just don't think you have it in you anymore."
The way she sat there, with a playful tone over her otherwise suggestive words, had my heart rate picking up for so many different reasons. She looked painfully adorable, in her pink hoodie that was a size too big and her thin little leggings that had already been driving me insane the second she showed up for class, and I just didn't know what to do with myself.
It was getting harder, both literally and metaphorically, to stop myself from telling her what I wanted to say, and doing to her what I'd been aching to do.
"Don't have it in me?" I narrowed my eyes, clenching my jaw the slightest bit as she sat there, unknowingly driving me crazy. "I'd take that back if I were you."
"Like I said," she tilted her head. "Who's gonna make me?"
You're about to find out.
"Stand up."
Her lower lip jutted out a bit as she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What? Why—"
"Stand. Up." Her lips parted the tiniest bit and we both knew she was losing whatever game she decided to start.
I watched her intently as she did so, hesitantly. Her lip was bit harshly by her teeth as I stalked the few steps over to her, and I loved every second of it. Of course, I didn't show any part of the grin that I desperately held back, because she would've known exactly what I was doing.
She gupled when I grabbed her by the waist, bringing her tightly to my chest as I stared down at her. I held back the amused chuckle that wanted to escape when I walked her a step back so that her hips hit the edge of my desk and I could tell she already lost her words. That wasn't what I wanted, though; I wanted her to make noises.
So I spun her around, in one swift movement, coaxing a yelp out of her as I pressed my front flush against her back, bending her over the desk with a hand on the back of her neck. She was breathing heavy when I brought my lips to her ear, one hand gripping her bare waist under the hoodie she wore.
"Are you ready to take it back, yet?" I gathered her hair in my fist, pulling on it slightly to tilt her head back and expose the skin of her neck.
She gave me the tiniest shake of her head and I muffled a groan when her ass rubbed against me as she fidgets in my grasp. "No?" I shifted my own hips forward. "Need a bit more?"
She nodded, lips parting as I pulled her hair further back. "Where are those words from before, huh, Elise?" She let out a choked breath, much to my satisfaction. "Why don't you say it for me?"
I felt her swallow harshly from where my lips grazed her neck. "Y-yes." She panted, much too quietly.
How cute. She thinks that's good enough.
"Yes, what?" I gritted, pushing her further into my desk with my hips, about ready to lose it when a beautifully strangled whimper escapes from her lips.
I watched her bite her lower lip when my hand on her waist traveled to her lower stomach, pushing down and simultaneously further into me. "Yes, Luke." She breathed.
I let out a breathy laugh against her neck, biting down on the skin to make her head fall back with a gasp. "Wrong," I rasped.
"You know what you're supposed to say, Miss Halder."
"Oh god," She breathed out as my hand dipped beneath the waistband of her leggings, coming into contact with lace that made my dick strain uncomfortably. "I meant—"
She cut herself off with a harsh breath as my fingers rubbed slow circles on the thin material covering her clit. "You meant what?" I rasped in her ear. "Say it." She sucked in a slow breath.
"Yes, sir."
I groaned, pushing the lace to the side and letting my finger drag along her folds. "There you go, that wasn't too hard."
Speaking of hard, I was having a rather tough time keeping myself in control when Elise whimpered every time I jerked my hips forward, where I'm certain she could feel the evident erection I had no chance in preventing.
"You want this, don't you?" I grunted, moving her hips to grind her slowly against me.
She nodded furiously through her gasps and I had to squeeze my eyes shut tightly at the thought. "Fuck, I know you do," she pushed back against me and I quickly removed my hand to grip both of her hips firmly, stopping her. "But I won't fuck you here."
She sucked in a quick breath at my words, sounding breathless and disoriented when she asked "Why?"
"Because you deserve better than that," I said lowly at her ear. "And, I'm only teaching you a lesson."
At that, I removed myself from her completely, stepping back and containing a grin when she spun around, gaping at me with wide eyes and what I could only describe as pure sexual frustration.
I felt just the same.
She groaned in irritation at my smug look, finally realizing what my intentions were from the start. Although I had to admit, I only tortured myself by letting it drag on a bit too long.
She huffed out a breath, glaring at me with crossed arms. "I really hate you, you know."
I only laughed, making my way over to grip her wrists and uncross her arms. "You really don't, though."
Elise sighed, letting me take her hands in mine. "No, I don't," her brows pulled together as she blinked at me. "Not at all."
I just grinned, dropping my gaze down as I ran my hands up and down her arms. But then she mumbled something under her breath, something that made my heart pound and my head snap back up to hers immediately.
"It's really the opposite, actually."
Her eyes widened as my lips parted, unable to stop myself from reading too deeply into her words.
Did that mean she loved me?
I tried to get her to repeat it, but she shook her head frantically, claiming she didn't even know what she said, but's it's been eating away at me ever since.
And now, two days before her birthday, I realize that I need to tell her now, because I'm certain I'll go crazy if I don't . But I can't even do that, because she's not here, and I can't see her tonight.
She's going out again, with the rowdy group of four I've come to like quite a bit. A 'do-over night', as Ashton so eloquently called it, in order to make up for the disaster of a party that occurred not too long ago at the cursed Delta house.
I could've gone, of course, for the three boys and Cassie had suggested I join them from the start, but I chose to stay home. Even thought I knew Elise wanted me there, I thought it better to let her have her own fun with her best friends, considering their last attempt went so horribly. I wanted her to spend time with them alone, without me to distract her or pull her away, because her birthday was coming up and I have no intention of letting her out of my sight the entire day.
Or my bed.
I groan at my own thoughts, flopping back into my couch with an unopened beer bottle between my fingertips. I'm feeling unbelievably restless and fully regretting my decision to stay here tonight, but there isn't much I can do to ease myself.
I nearly jump when my phone vibrates against the table, knocking me from my thoughts as I fumble for it. It could almost be considered pathetic how badly I'm hoping it's Elise, but every part of me is disappointed to see that it's Cole.
"Yeah?" I answer it, trying desperately not to show my annoyance.
"Luke, hey, man, I just wanted you to know— oh god fucking damn it—"
I roll my eyes, hearing obvious noises in the background that tell me he's clearly in the midst of some party. "What?"
"—hey, hey! Get the fuck off of there, Jesus Christ—put that shit down you fucking—"
"Cole," I snap. "What the hell is going on?"
"Shit, sorry Hemmings, this place is full of fucking freshma—if you don't put that bottle back where you found it I swear to god—fuck, man, I feel like I'm running a goddamn daycare over here,"
I scoff out a laugh, thinking back to what it's like to be exactly in his position. "Yeah, well, the only people who actually like frat parties are freshman, so—"
"—I'm going to kill these fuckers I swear. Fuck, here, talk to Cam, I gotta deal with some shit,"
I frown, hearing a rustling of the phone as he likely hands it over, still uncertain as to why I'd been called in the first place.
"Luke! Hey buddy, how ya' been?"
Drunk off his ass. Fucking perfect.
"Jesus Christ," I mutter. "Cam, why did Cole call me?"
"Probably just missed you, dude! This place was so much more fun when you were here—"
"Yeah, yeah, we can all hold hands and reminisce some other time. Go find Cole and ask him what he needed to let me know."
It's quiet for a moment, likely due to Cameron trying his hardest to comprehend what I just said, and I can't deny that I'm growing increasingly impatient. Cole has called me a few times over the past few days, complaining about Sidney showing to the frat uninvited, in search of me, and I can only assume this is the current case.
"Oh! Shit, I remember! Yeah, yeah, the girl's here—"
I groan, wanting nothing more than to tell Cole to stop letting me know every damn time Sidney decides to drop by, considering I won't be talking to her any time soon.
"Damn it, Seager, give the phone back to Cole," I huff. "And lay off the fireball you fucking lightweight."
Cameron laughs, way too hard, and I find myself rolling my eyes again.
"Sure thing, dad. Except it's not fireball, it's tequila—oh wait, no, it's fireball—"
The phone rustles again and I seriously consider hanging up.
"—Cam, I love you but you're fucking useless, go drink some water, okay, big boy? Yeah, I'm talking to you. No, give me the fucking fireball—"
"Cole."
"Fuck, didn't realize how smashed he was. Anyways I was trying to tell you—"
"If this is about Sidney again I really don't—"
"—Luke, shut the fuck up for a second and let me actually tell you."
I run a hand down my face in frustration. "Fine, fuck. Spit it out."
"Your girl's here, dumbass."
What?
"Are you talking about—"
"The pretty little brunette? Yeah, that's exactly who I'm talking about,"
I cringe, fully not expecting to hear that Elise and her friends decided to go to my old frat, and definitely not liking the thought of her there in the slightest.
"Fuck," I mutter. "I knew she was going out, I just didn't want her going there,"
"Yeah, well, that's probably for good reason."
I tense up, standing to my feet. "The fuck do you mean by that?"
"Don't freak out, but—"
"What the fuck? Cole, if something happened to her I swear—"
"I literally just fucking told you not to freak out."
I'm pacing by this point, looking frantically for my keys and wallet, which, of course, are impossible to find at the moment.
"Don't tell me not to freak out when we're talking about my—"
"Dude, she's okay," I visibly relax. "She's with her friends. But Jake just came up to me, right before I called you, and—"
"And?" My heart's pounding and I'm not sure why.
"And remember how I said there was a girl he tried to get with at Sigma?"
"Yeah," I grit, feeling my nails digging into my palm as I hope, for Jake's sake, that he's not about to say what I think he's going to say.
"Well, turns out it was your girl who shoved him off the first time and ran away,"
Ran away? As in, the night I found her crying over a boy who wouldn't leave her alone?
"And I guess that pissed him off, because he saw her here and said he 'won't let her get away this time'—"
I'm not sure how angry people normally are in situations like these, but I feel like I could snap, quite literally, in an instant from how tense my body is. The mere thought of that boy, of whom I've had the pleasure of seeing in action, trying anything on my girl, makes me sick with anger. Especially with her past experiences, and the fact that Jake is a slimy piece of shit, I feel like I'm not even in control of my body right now.
I didn't even realize Cole was still talking.
"—So if I were you, I might come down here."
I scoff. "I'm already on my fucking way."
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YIKES THEY'RE BOTH COWARDS FOR NOT SAYING IT.
Also it's been 32 long ass chapters and they HAVEN'T FUCKED LMFAO WHO AM I??
I hope y'all are ready for the next chapter cuz :')
BYE for now! Love y'all.
-tay ♡