I try to study when I get back to my room but I can't focus. After staring at my notes for an hour, I decide to go take a shower. The co-ed bathrooms still make me uncomfortable when they are crowded but no one ever messes with me. The hot water feels amazing and loosens up my tense muscles. I should feel relieved and happy that Lauren and I have reached some sort of truce but now the anger and annoyance has been replaced by nervousness and confusion. I have agreed to spend time with Lauren tomorrow, doing something "fun" and I am terrified. I just hope it goes well and we can be friends, I don't expect to become best friends with her but I need us to get to a place where we don't scream at each other every time we talk.
When I get back to my room, I find a note from Lucy saying Tristan is taking her off campus for dinner. I like Noah's roommate Tristan, he seems really nice despite his over use of eyeliner. If Lucy and Tristan continue to see each other then maybe when Shawn comes to visit we could all go do something together. Who am I kidding? I know Shawn would not want to hang out with people like Tristan and Lucy, and I will admit that up until three weeks ago I never would have either.
I end up calling Shawn before bed, we haven't talked all day.
"Hey Camila how was your day?" He asks me as soon as he picks up.
"It was good, long but good" I should tell him that Lauren and I are going to hang out tomorrow.
"That's good to hear. I had a soccer game tonight in Seattle, I am just now getting back"
"That's awesome, how did it go?" He tells me how they beat Seattle High by a landslide, even though they are one of the best teams in the state. We talk about his family and before I know it we are getting off the phone. I couldn't find the right time to mention my plans with Lauren tomorrow, honestly I didn't try.
The next day goes by far too fast. Ally and I walk into Literature and Lauren is already in her seat.
"Are you ready for our date tonight?" Lauren asks and my mouth falls open. Ally's does too.
"It's not a date, we are only hanging out as friends" I tell Ally, ignoring Lauren. Day one of our quest to become friends is not going well so far.
"Same thing" Lauren smirks and I roll my eyes. I avoid her the rest of the class which is easy since she doesn't try to talk to me.
"Be careful tonight" Ally tells me after class.
"I will, we are just trying to be civil since my roommate is her friend"
"I know, you're really a great friend to her. I am just not sure Lauren deserves your kindness" she says and I look up at her.
"Don't you have something else to do besides bad mouth me? Get lost" Lauren snaps from behind me. Ally frowns and looks at me again.
"Remember what I said" she says and walks away.
"You don't have to be cruel to her, you guys are practically sisters" I say and her eyes go wide.
"What did you just say?" She growls.
"You know, your dad and her mom?" Was Ally lying? Or was I not supposed to mention this? Ally said not to mention Lauren's relationship with her dad but I didn't think she meant the whole thing.
"That is none of your business, I don't know why that cunt even told you that. I am going to have to shut her up it seems"
"You leave her alone Lauren, she didn't even want to tell me but I got it out of her" I defend her. The idea of Lauren hurting Ally makes me sick. I need to change the subject. "So where are we going today?" I ask and she glares at me.
"We aren't going anywhere, this was a bad idea" she snaps, turns on her heels and walks away.
What the hell? She really is bi-polar, I am sure of it. The anger and frustration I feel towards Lauren returns and I make my way back to my room. When I open the door I find Hayley, Tristan and Lucy inside. I would usually be annoyed with this many unexpected guests but I need the distraction and I really like Hayley and Tristan.
"Hey Camila! How were your classes today?" Lucy asks and gives me a big smile. I can't help but notice the way Tristan's face lights up when she smiles.
"They were okay, you?" I sit my books on my dresser and she tells me about her professor spilling coffee on himself so they got out early.
"You look nice today Camila" Hayley tells me and I thank her and sit on Lucy's bed with the three of them. The bed really is too small for all of us but it works. The door opens a few minutes later and we all turn to see who it is. It's Lauren.
"Geez Lauren you could at least knock for once" Lucy scolds her and she shrugs. "I could have been naked or something." Lucy says and Lauren laughs. Lucy smiles, obviously not angry at her friend's lack of manners but I am sure she is used to her walking in here all the time.
"It's nothing I haven't seen before" she jokes and Tristan's face falls while everyone laughs. I can't find the humor either, I hate thinking about Lucy and Lauren together.
"Oh shut up" she says, still laughing and grabs ahold of Tristan's hand. His smile returns and he moves a little closer to her.
"What are you guys up to?" Lauren asks and sits on my bed. I want to tell her to get off but I keep quiet. I thought for a second she had come here to apologize but now I know she just came to hang out with her friends and I am not one of them.
"We were actually going to go to the movies, Camila you should come" Hayley smiles. Before I can answer Lauren interrupts.
"Actually Camila and I have plans" She says, there is a strange edge behind her voice. She is so moody.
"What?" Hayley and Lucy say in unison.
"Yea, we have plans. I was just coming to get her" Lauren smiles and stands up. "You ready or what?" My mind screams 'No!' but I nod.
"Well we will see you all later" Lauren announces and practically pushes me out of the door. She leads me to her car and surprising me, she opens the passenger door. I stand still with my arms crossed.
"I will remember not to ever open a door for you again" she snaps and I shake my head.
"What the hell was that? I know you didn't come here to get me, you just told me that you didn't want to hang out with me" I yell. We are back to yelling at each other. She makes me crazy, literally.
"Yes I did, now get in the car"
"No! If you don't admit that you didn't come here to see me, I will go back in there and go to the movies with Hayley" I tell her and she clenches her jaw. I knew it. I don't know how to feel about this revelation but somehow I knew Lauren didn't want me to go to the movies with Hayley and that is the only reason she is trying to hang out with me now. "Admit it Lauren, or I am going"
"Okay, fine. I admit it. Now get in the damn car. I won't ask again" she says and gets in the car. Against my better judgment, I get into the car. Lauren still looks angry as she pulls out of the parking lot. She turns the screaming music up way too loud. I reach down and shut it off.
"Don't touch my radio" She snaps.
"If you're going to be a jerk the whole time I don't want to hang out with you" I say and mean it.
"I'm not, just don't touch my radio." My thoughts go back to her tossing my notes into the air and I want to yank her radio and throw it out the window. If I knew I could, I would.
"Why do you care if I go to the movies with Hayley? Lucy and Tristan were going too"
"I just don't think Hayley has the best intentions" She says quietly, her eyes glued to the road.
I begin to laugh and she frowns. "Oh, and you do? At least Hayley is nice to me" I can't stop laughing. The idea of Lauren trying to protect me in some way is hilarious. Hayley is a friend, nothing more. Just like Lauren.
Lauren rolls her eyes but doesn't give me an answer. She turns the music back on and the screaming music literally hurts my ears.
"Can you please turn it down" I beg.
She turns it down but still leaves it on. "That music is terrible" I tell her and she laughs.
"No it's not, I would love to know your opinion on good music" she smiles. She looks so carefree with her window down, the breeze blowing through her hair. She reaches one hand up and pushes her hair back. I love the way her hair looks when it is pushed back. I shake the thoughts from my head.
"Well I like Bon Iver, and The 1975" I finally answer.
"Of course you do" she chuckles.
"What is wrong with them? They are insanely talented and their music is wonderful" I defend my two favorite bands.
"Yea.. they are talented. I hear their specialty is putting people to sleep" she laughs and I reach across and playfully swat her shoulder.
"Well, I love them" I say with a smile. If we could just stay in this playful state, I might actually have a good time. "Where are we going?"
"We are going to one of my favorite places"
"Which is where?"
"You really have to know everything that is going on don't you?"
"Yea.. I like to.."
"Control everything?" She interrupts and I stay quiet. I know she is right but that's just the way I am. "Well, I am not telling you until we get there.. which will be only about five minutes from now" she tells me and I sit back against the leather seat of her car. What kind of car is this anyway?
"What kind of car is this?" I ask her. I need a distraction from not knowing where we are going.
"Its a Ford Carpi, a classic" she boasts, obviously proud of her car. She goes on to tell me about it even though I have no idea what she is talking about. I like to watch her lips as she talks, the way they move slowly as the words are even slower. "I don't like to be stared at" she says harshly but smiles a little after.
"I .. I was just listening" I lie, my mouth dry.
"We are here" she says and pulls onto a gravel road.