Elise Halder
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Luke looks tired, disheveled even, as he leans against the counter in his kitchen, watching me sip nervously from a glass of water.
I'd like to say I'm not sure why I'm feeling nervous in the first place, but that would be a blatant lie. It has something to do with the fact that I just cried, for the second time in front of this man, over the same pathetic excuse for a human boy. That, and the fact that even as Luke leans lazily, arms crossed and body clearly tired, he still looks at me like I might be the most important thing in this world.
I've been reading too many romance novels, I think.
I fidget with the glass, using it as a safety net to keep myself from discussing today's earlier events, before setting it down on the counter nearest me. Luke watches the movement, not yet saying anything, as I turn away, eyes looking up to observe the rows of black cabinets above me, in an effort to avoid the tension.
I hear a sigh, and the sound of Luke undoubtedly pushing himself off the counter, before I feel two hands spin me back around. His hands brush along my sides as I look up at him, noticing the way his brows are furrowed slightly. In a second he's hoisting me up, hands on my waist, to place me gently on the countertop behind me, finding his place between my legs.
His hands hold me firmly as my lips part, a little shocked at the action and the burning way he's looking at me. "Thirst quenched, now?" He tilts his head to the side.
I laugh a little, bubbles of nerves fading as I remember the first request I made the second we stepped through the door. "Are you making fun of me?"
"Never," He gives me a half grin and a squeeze to my sides. "I'm nothing but genuine."
"Good," I purse my lips. "Because I ran a lot today, and that deserves some water."
He raises a brow. "You did, didn't you?"
I nod, sighing as I remember why I'd been so active today. "I'm sor—"
"Don't," Luke cuts me off, shaking his head. "Don't do that. I've told you before I don't want you apologizing like that."
I frown, bringing my hands hesitantly to the back of his neck. "But I am—"
He cuts me off with his lips, pecking them quickly in a way that makes my stomach flip, before pulling back the tiniest bit to speak against them. "What did I just say?"
My lips part as his brush against my own, softly. "But—"
He inches forward, silencing me. "Shh." He mumbles.
"Luke,"
He presses his lips to mine once more, slowly chipping away at my conviction. "Baby, I can do this all day."
I blush as I pull back, trying desperately to contain a smile. "You're cheesy."
He grins, much too beautifully for my poor heart. "And you're cute," he leans in, keeping his lips just barely grazing my own. "And I like kissing you."
I raise a brow, my heart beating annoyingly fast as a stupid grin of my own escapes. "Do you?"
He nods, teeth gently biting down on his lower lip as his hands rub slowly down the jean material covering my thighs. I let my fingers toy with the hair behind his neck, feeling way too content in this moment, despite all that's happened. I glance down at his lips, which are distractingly soft and unbelievably pink, before meeting his eyes. "Prove it." I whisper.
Luke only grins and pauses the movement of his hands, looking at me intently for a moment, scanning my face in a way that makes me hold my breath. I don't have to hold it for long, though, because Luke leans in, tightening the grip on my thighs to tug me closer as he places his lips on my own.
It's a beautiful thing, I've come to realize, to kiss Luke. His lips, much like him in a way, are soft and slow. There's something so intentional about the way they move, and way he holds me to him, that has my entire body humming. And when he wants to, he can kiss with a hunger that feels like our lives depend on it, burning with a ferocity that can only be described as lust.
But this—the way his lips move gently and deeply against my timid ones—is not fueled by lust.
No, this is something else entirely, I'm simply just not sure what.
I'm still trying to figure it out when his hands travel slowly down, guiding my legs to wrap around him fully, before curling both hands under the backs of my thighs. I forget all about my thoughts when he lifts me up, bringing me flush against him as he walks us out of the room, lips never once straying from mine.
My mind is cloudy with thoughts only of him when Luke lays us both down, my back against the duvet as he holds himself over me. There's no urgency in the kiss, only him making good on his words from earlier as my mind spins with realizations I already knew to be true. Ones about how I like kissing Luke, too. A lot.
He pulls away, much to my dismay, and my eyes flutter open when he presses a soft kiss to the side of neck before moving up to press another on my forehead. He raises an eyebrow at me, his arms strained next to me as he holds himself up. "Have I proved myself, pretty girl?"
I pout, raising my neck to reach him again in an effort to bring back the blissful feeling. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can just stop."
He laughs at my whines, shaking his head before bringing a hand over to hold my jaw and connect our lips once more. It's only for a second, though, before he pulls back to speak.
"As much as I love this, baby, it isn't what I wanted to show you," he lets his thumb run along my jaw as my brows furrow in confusion.
I open my mouth to speak but his phone vibrates loudly from his back pocket, taking both of our attention as he reaches for it. He sighs, sitting up as he looks at the screen. "Cole," he mutters, and I prop myself up on my elbows. "Stay here, yeah?" He doesn't give me time to respond before he leans down to press his lips quickly to my forehead and hauling himself off the bed.
I watch as he answers the call before he exits the room, mumbling a "What, man?" as he disappears down the hallway. I sigh, sitting up to glance around the familiar room, my stomach flipping as I replay everything that has happened in here.
The red glint of his electric guitar catches my eye, propped up by the wall nearest the foot of the bed. I crawl over, making my way to inspect it, when I notice a notebook—a journal, more like—laid open on the floor, pages filled top to bottom with writing.
My curiosity gets the best of me, considering I'd seen the item once before, from the first time I'd snooped around in his room. The binding is faded, battered with love, and I come to the conclusion that it must be years old. And I wasn't going to read it, that wasn't my intention in the slightest. I only crept down onto the floor next to it to close it, assuming Luke likely hadn't meant for it to stay sprawled open.
But then I saw my name.
I had to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me, I had to make sure that 'Elise' was scrawled out, messily, right at the top of the page. And it was. Right there, for anyone to see, followed by lines and lines of handwriting, of which I'm much too scared to read.
I blink, staring down at the paper as I read the same word over and over, not even daring to let my eyes wander past it.
"Fucking bullshit, who does she think she is—"
I snap my head back up from my position on the floor, eyes wide as I see Luke freeze in his spot, mouth slightly parted as he looks from me to the pages in front of me.
He sighs deeply, moving to sit near my spot on the floor, resting his back against the foot of the bed. I haven't moved, only gulping at the idea that I might've done something wrong when he holds a hand out, gesturing to the notebook.
I lift it gingerly, handing it to him as he places it on his lap, pages still open. He flips through it for a moment, fingers flicking the pages slowly, before he looks back up at me, likely seeing the worry etching my features. He sighs again, giving me small smile before he holds another expectant arm out. "C'mere," he says softly.
I wasn't expecting that, not at all, but I crawl over to him anyways, letting out a breath when he hauls me to his side with his arm, resting his chin on the top of my head as it's pressed against his chest. "I was going to show this to you, anyways." He sighs.
"What is it, exactly?" I run my fingers along the pages, feeling the indents from the words.
Luke nudges me, prompting me to look up at him as he furrows his brows, looking slightly surprised. "You didn't read it?"
I shake my head, giving him a small smile. "No, I didn't want to be that annoying," he raises a brow. "I only saw..." I trail off, still unsure if my eyes were playing a cruel trick.
"Your name." Luke murmurs.
I nod, sheepishly biting down on my lower lip as Luke pauses, looking thoughtful. He glances back down at the notebook, eyes skimming the writing, before he lets out a deep sigh, running a hand down my side.
"I hadn't written in this thing in years," his eyes run over the words written. "I got it when I was 21, used to write everything down, just to...feel something, I guess?" His brows furrow. "I stopped, though, I stopped writing what I was thinking. I had no reason to, once I got my shit together." He mutters.
I sit up, brows furrowed in concern as he looks at me, moving to brush strands of dark hair behind my ear. "What changed your mind?"
Luke pauses, giving me a small smile as his hand moves to hold the side of my face, letting his thumb rub gently across my cheek. "Funny story, actually," he murmurs.
If you could pass out from the way someone looks at you, I'd be unconscious on Luke's floor, right now.
"I was all set to teach this class," he starts. "Even though I was nervous out of my mind, because I'd never taught before, and I wasn't sure I'd be any good at it,"
His eyes don't stray from mine as he continues to hold the side of my face delicately.
"But then I see this little girl walk in,"
I freeze, suddenly aware of exactly where this is headed, my heart slowly starting to race.
"And she's got her head down, completely fixated on her phone, not noticing in the slightest that everyone had taken their seats," he smiles, as if replaying the scene in his head. "So I thought I'd help her out, get her attention."
I let out a breath. "And how did that work out for you?"
Luke bites his lower lip, grinning. "Not so well," he shakes his head. "She was way too pretty, and I had to act like I didn't love the way she got so flustered by me."
"Bold assumption," I mumble.
"Hardly," Luke licks his lips. "She wasn't exactly subtle with her staring," I fight back the blush that threatens my cheeks. "Neither was I, though. She was just a bit clueless and never noticed."
I purse my lips, both loving and hating what he's trying to do right now. "So she was dim?"
Luke bites his lip. "She must've been, yeah, because it took her a long time to realize how much I wanted her,"
I lean into his palm, feeling nearly overwhelmed with emotion but not exactly knowing why. He takes the journal off his lap, instead moving to replace it with me, tugging me by the waist to place both of my legs on either side of his. I suck in a breath as he holds me by the neck, bringing the other hand to re-tuck the fallen hair behind my ear.
"I couldn't get enough of her," he murmurs. "The way she couldn't keep still when she'd sit across from my desk, the way she panicked when she called me sir and I didn't let it go, and the way she'd gasp whenever I touched her."
My lips part as he lets the pads of his finger brush gently over my jaw, running down to my neck. "So what did you do?" I whisper.
"I wrote about her," he whispers back, smallest hint of a smile on his lips.
"The things she'd say to me, and the things I so badly wanted to say to her,"
"In the journal?" My hearts pounding as I ask softly, eyes glancing down to the papers.
Luke nods, looking almost in a trance as he grips my chin, letting his thumb trace my bottom lip. His blue eyes are gleaming—no, twinkling, I should say, with fondness.
"It's a lot of rambling in there, most of it doesn't make any sense," he says softly. "Some of it turned into songs, even, but it helped me,"
"How?" I ask quietly.
"I didn't know what to do," he tilts his head slightly. "Because there was this pretty little girl in my class that I couldn't have, and I couldn't handle the way my heart raced when I looked at her for too long,"
I wonder if he knows how fast mine is beating right now.
"And when I wrote about her, I got this feeling back that I hadn't felt in years," he swallows. "It felt good, to feel something, and I didn't think I'd have that again, until her,"
How fast can your heart beat before it explodes?
"Until you, Elise."
My eyes are probably watery, but I don't care in the slightest because Luke is talking about me. And I knew that, of course. I already knew this whole story because I already knew our story, but hearing him address me at the end of it all was something I didn't know I needed so badly, until he said it.
"Are you—" I let out a shaky breath, almost a laugh of disbelief as I bring my hands tentatively around his neck. "—Are you sure you're talking about me?"
Luke laughs a little, too, just as breathy. "I'm sure, babygirl," he guides my face to his with his fingers propped under my chin. "Do you trust me?"
I nod quickly, unable to keep the smile off my face as he brings me closer, one hand pressing firmly on the small of my back as the other stays at my jaw.
"No more running away, then," I open my mouth to speak but he closes it with his hand under my chin. "Or walking," he raises a brow.
I shake my head. "I wouldn't—couldn't, at this point."
He brings my face closer, lips hovering over my own. "Why's that?" He whispers.
"Because I like you too much." I inch forward, tugging Luke by the neck the tiniest bit to connect our lips, knowing that he would've made me wait far too long for a kiss. But I can't take any more waiting, because my heart is pounding roughly against my chest and I'm positive he can feel it from the way it's pressed up against his.
And I don't know for sure, but if his earlier words are any validation, then I'm almost certain his heart is doing the same.
"God, Elise," Luke breathes when I pull away, his head falling back against the foot of the bed with his eyes still shut. "Fuck, I l—" He pauses, eyes snapping open with a breath out. "—I like you too much, too."
He tilts his head back down, swallowing harshly as he looks at me. He pulls me to him again, wrapping both arms around me as I press my head into the crook of his neck. I note the way he blows out a heavy exhale when I press my lips to the skin there, lightly, up to his jaw.
"Can I read it, sometime, Luke?" I ask softly as he hums at the feeling of the light kisses I plant on his skin.
"Yes," he says right away with a breath out. "Hell, I'll read it to you," he laughs.
I pull my head back to smile at him. "Or you could sing it." I raise my eyebrows and he rolls his eyes.
"Why did I know you'd say that?" He groans, fingers rubbing circles on my hipbones.
I grin. "Because you like me," I place a quick kiss to his lips and he smiles. "And that means you know me well enough."
Luke sighs, hands moving underneath the hem of my sweater to rest on the bare skin. "I do like you," he says it quietly. "A lot."
I smile at his words, feeling a blush rise on my cheeks but not caring in the slightest. I don't say anything, because I'm certain I've made myself quite obvious, so I just lean forward once more to connect our lips, both of us nearly sighing into it as Luke presses firmer on the skin of my hips.
And even though my heart feels like it could burst painfully at any moment, I'm certain I've never been so happy in my life, here with Luke. The only odd part is the way my stomach clenched when he stumbled on his words. It was brief, and likely nothing, but for a second there I thought he was going to say something else entirely, something I wouldn't have minded at all.
It almost sounded like he was going to say he loved me.
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BIIIIIIIIIITCH-
Yo this chapter is SO long and SO soft but still SO necessary and I LOVE it.
They didn't talk about the whole fight thing because Luke didn't want her to apologize & instead wanted her to know how much he liked her.
........."LiKeD"
ALSO Luke's journal is the one he got when he was a senior and decided to major in English & he hadn't wrote in it again until he met ELISE SOO..
Anyways okay sorry if this chapter is TOO long idk.
Love y'all!
-tay ♡