"Mommy are you ready?" Kinakabahang nakatitig lang ako sa sarili ko sa harap ng salamin at nang makita na medyo gusot ang damit ko agad ko iyong inayos. "Mommy lets go! Daddy's waiting na!"
Huminga ako ng malalim bago humarap kay Riona na kanina pa naiinip dahil ang tagal ko daw mag ayos. Palibhasa siya kahit anong isuot niya mahal siya ng daddy niya.
"Baby am I beautiful na ba?" Nanlaki ang mata ko nang irapan ako ni Riona. At kelan pa natutong gumanyan ang anak ko?
Sinasabi ko na nga ba. Hindi dapat si Alex ang nag aalaga dito eh, ang daming kabaklaan na natututunan ni Riona.
"Mommy you're beautiful kasi I'm beautiful too, right? Let's go na!" Hinila niya ako palabas at halos magkanda hulog na ang susi ko sa pagsara ng pinto dahil sa kakamadali ni Rio. Mukhang mas excited pa siya sa birthday ko kesa sa akin.
Kinakabahan ako dahil ngayon nalang ulit kami magkaka-sama ni Klaus. Two months. I endured two months of him not talking and avoiding me but this time, I swear, I want him back.
I'll get him back.
Nang makababa kami sa elevator, agad kong nakita si Alex sa lobby kaya napakunot ang noo ko. He's giving me an awkward smile as he walks towards us and I'm already having a feeling that Klaus won't be here.
"Hi tito Alex!" Humalik si Riona sa pisnge ni alex bago inilibot ang tingin sa paligid. "Where's daddy?"
"Uh, something came up at his work baby Riri, that's why I'm here, he asked me to go with you today." He immediately added, "He also sent a car and driver para samahan tayo buong araw." I ignored what he said.
Hindi ko kailangan ng sasakyan at ng driver. Kahit maglakad lang ako maghapon basta nandito siya.
"Kahit ngayon may trabaho siya?" Kahit birthday ko? He gave me an apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry. May emergency kasi sa company nila Calla." I sighed. Para akong pinagbagsakan ng langit ng marinig ang sinabi ni Alex. What did I even expect?
Truth is, I tried to contact him since last week and made many excuses just to see him but he had only met me once, at yun ay para lang pag usapan ang enrolment ni Riona para sa pasukan. Dun na din kami nag simulang magplano para sa ngayong araw—na nakalimutan niya kung anong meron kung hindi pinaalala ni Riona.
His time was never an issue to me in the past. Even though he would always choose Calla over me. Kasi bakit nga ba ako magagalit? He has chosen Calla over me plenty of times before he told me he loves me. He has chosen her throughout our teen and relationship years.
It was just one time. One time when I've had enough of him giving me little attention which has led us in the situation where we are in right now... and yet, he still chose her hanggang ngayon. He's still there... he's still there when he said not long ago that he will choose me from now on.
Sa lahat ng beses na sinabi niyang mahal niya ako, hindi ba pwedeng panindigan naman niya?
Little by little, all the strength that I have mustered just to be close to him again are starting to melt away. Why can't he assure me and then stay? Kahit ngayon lang?
Kahit ngayon lang ako naman ang unahin niya.
Riona and I went to an amusement park, hindi ko sasayangin ang araw na to para mapasaya ang anak ko. Alam ko kasing gustong pumunta dito ni Riona kaya gusto ko na dito nalang kami pumunta. She's still a kid kahit na mature na siya paminsan-minsan mag isip.
I caught her looking at a family in the corner. The little boy was holding his father's hand while his mother is wiping something from the boy's face. They look... happy. I know. Hindi lang si Rio ang naiinggit.
Ako rin.
I want to have that kind of family. Yung masaya. Yung kumpleto. Yung mahal ang isa't-isa.
I looked at Riona and I can see that she's also disappointed. She was really looking forward to this day. So do I.
I crouched down to look at my baby's face. She looked like she was about to cry.
"Don't worry Rio, I'm sure you're daddy will catch up after his meeting." I tried to brighten her up but she just continued sulking. "Why are you sad na? It's my birthday, you should be smiling."
"But why did daddy not cancel the meeting like last time, Mommy?" She asked scowling. Even though I am disappointed right now, I cannot bear the fact that Klaus would also disappoint our daughter.
I just smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead. He'd willingly do it for you Riona, but not for me.
Because I was never his priority.
"Let's just go to his office after. Maybe his meeting is already done by then is that okay with you?" I said and a big smile appeared on her lips and she willingly nodded her head. Alam kong gustong gusto niya na magkakasama kaming tatlo.
Mabuti nalang at naging maganda yung mood ni Riona throughout the day. Itong bata na to, grabe, napaka adventurous na tao. Lahat gustong sakyan kaya nagpapalitan nalang kami ni Alex sa pagsama sa kanya sa rides. Halos sumuka na kaming dalawa pero si Riona game na game pa rin.
"Can we go to daddy na?" She asked while she eats her ice cream. She loves ice cream.
I look at Alex who seemed hesitant, then he sighed and just nodded his head. Napangiti ako, hindi niya din matiis si Riona.
"Alright baby, lets go to your daddy."
Riona jumped and clapped her hands out of happiness and she even hugged me and Alex.
"Cute talaga ni baby Riri." Narinig kong sabi ni Alex. I beamed at him.
"Mana sakin." He just rolled his eyes at me as we make our way to the car to go to where Klaus is.
"Nagreply na ba?" Tinignan ni Alex ang screen ng phone niya at umiling. He looked at me again but this time with pity. Ayoko. Ayoko ng ganyang klase ng tingin niya. I just gave him a sad smile.
I asked Alex to send a message to Klaus and ask him where he is. Hindi rin kasi siya sumasagot sa mga tawag namin. Kanina pumunta kami sa company ni Calla at tinanong kung nasaan si Klaus, sinabi nila na kanina pa daw tapos ang meeting at nakaalis na din si Klaus. Kaya ngayon pupunta kami sa Driveo Corporations para tignan kung nandoon siya.
"Dito na muna kayo ni Riona, titignan ko lang kung nandito si Klaus." Sabi ko kay Alex dahil nakatulog na si Riona sa mga hita niya.
Mabuti na rin siguro na nakatulog na si Riona, at least hindi na niya kailangan mag expect na dadating ang daddy niya. Hindi ko na rin makikita ang mukha niya na madismaya kapag nalaman niya na wala din dito si Klaus.
Sana nandito siya. Sana nandito siya. I keep chanting to myself.
I know I promised myself that I'll go after him... Na this time ako naman ang magbibigay ng effort para sa aming dalawa, but as much as I love him, I also love my daughter. She's a part of me. She's still the greatest thing that happened to me.
I'm fine with Klaus' disappointing me, I can take it all, but I cannot bear the fact that he'll also disappoint our daughter. That's too much.
How her father will treat her is how she'll think a man should treat her as she grows older I don't want Riona to grow up thinking that she doesn't deserve to be prioritized, because she does. A man who will always choose her is what she deserve.
Kahit siya nalang, kahit wag na ako. Kahit ang anak nalang namin palagi ang unahin niya. I can take it. I'll be fine with being the last on his list.
Sanay naman na ako.