I want him but I also want to get over him and neither is happening
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ALLY POV:
We had just arrived at Chase's house, he helped me out out of his car and we walked into his house.
The first thing I noticed was Ava, "Ally!!" She smiles running up to me and hugging me.
"Hey bub I told you I'd come over" I smiled, she let go of me and I noticed that she was wearing a dress that didn't look like pyjamas.
"Is this the dress you bought yesterday?" I smiled at her.
"Yep" she beamed and span around to show it off.
"It's beautiful bub, a pretty dress for an even prettier girl" I smile at her.
She beams back at me then looks at Chase. "See Chasey, I told you she'd notice".
Chase rolled his eyes, "you're right baby girl" he said smiling.
Ava smiled at him innocently, she was just the cutest kid.
"Okay baby girl you've seen Ally now it's bed time" Chase says strictly.
My ovaries once again exploded at 1, the fact that Ava wanted to wait up for me and 2, Chase was so good with her.
"But Chasey I wanna stay up with Ally" Ava moaned.
"How about I put you to bed again?" I suggested hoping it would fix both of the issues.
"Yes please!!" Ava beamed.
I looked at Chase for permission and he nodded at me smiling, "Are you sure princess you don't have to".
"I'm sure" I smile and laugh as Ava grabs my hand and once again drags me to her room.
Chase has told me she had already had a bath and I only needed to help her put on her pyjamas.
"What pyjamas do you want to wear?" I asked smiling at her.
"The princess ones again so I can be like you again" Ava says in a tone that just screamed 'isn't that obvious'.
I laughed at her and got them out of her draw.
"Do you know what I think I would be fun?" I ask her after I've helped her into bed.
"What!?" She asks excitedly.
"I think that you and me should go shopping one day and have some nice girl time"
"That would be so fun!!" Ava yells happily.
"Yes it would" I agree smiling at the little angel.
"Go to sleep bub" I whisper gently giving her a kiss goodnight.
This could be the last time I see Ava at her house. I had every intention to take her out one day but I was not going to spend time with Chase as well as Ava.
I walk outside and down the stairs to where Chase is waiting patiently staring into the kitchen.
"Chase?" I ask.
He turns around and smiles at me.
"How are you feeling princess?" He asks gently.
We go and sit down on his couch in the living room.
"I don't know" I say sighing, Chase nods.
"Princess you never told me the boys name who did all that to you" Chase asks politely.
"His name was Tyler" I whisper to myself.
I see Chase visibly tense beside me.
"What?" I ask curiously.
"It could just be a coincidence but at that party we went to ages ago I met a British guy named Tyler" Chase says, he is trying to be calm for me but I can feel the tenseness in his voice.
"What?" I ask as I feel my eyes go wide.
"It's probably nothing, just a blonde guy named Tyler spoke to me".
"Did he hurt you?!" I panic.
"No princess, I can take care of myself" Chase says confidently.
Deep down I knew that it wasn't a coincidence that a guy named Tyler had spoken to Chase at the same party where I almost got raped, but I didn't want to ruin the night.
I also knew that after tonight I had to cut Chase off completely, what I was doing to Oliver was completely wrong.
If I ever wanted to get over Chase I had to cut him off, I knew I had to do it but I was dreading every second.
I had to tell Oliver about my past so I could rely on him the way I had been relying on Chase.
But for now I was just going to enjoy tonight, I was going to enjoy being with Chase one last time.
I wasn't going to do anything with him, what I was doing was already bad enough, but I was not going to allow myself to stoop down even further.
So I wasn't going to allow myself to do anything but I was definitely going to enjoy Chase one last time.
After tonight I was going to cut him off, I know I've already said that but I 100% mean it this time. I need to get it through my head that Oli loves me and Chase never will.
Oli is a better guy, he isn't a fuck boy. Granted he doesn't look after his little sister or his mom, but no matter what, Oli was always going to be the better boyfriend, and man.
I had a genuinely good guy that was in love with me that I was dating, and that's exactly why I need to stop loving the bad boy who was never going to love me the way I loved him.
Wait.
No I didn't mean love, I don't love him, I love Oliver, he's amazing and kind and sweet, he truely was.
So this is the last time I'm going to rely on Chase or anything of the sort, I know that no matter how much I try I physically won't be able to cut him off completely, not only him, but Ava and Maria who have been so good to me, but I will do everything in my power to cut him off, I have to.
"Princess?" Chase cut off my thoughts.
"What?" I replied confusedly.
"I just asked if you knew when Tyler was planning to show himself?" Chase repeated looking at me strangely.
"No I have no idea" I replied honestly.
He could strike at any time.
My phone suddenly buzzed and I looked to see it was Oli.
From Oli:
Hello gorgeous, go on a date with me tommorow after school?
To Oli:
Sure :)
From Oli:
Great, I can't wait to spend more time with you.
To Oli:
Neither can I :)
Tommorow was the perfect time to go on a date with Oli and forget Chase once and for all, I had already let him know that he wasn't picking me up tommorow to go to school but I didn't explain why.
I put my phone back in my pocket and looked at Chase.
"Who was that?" Chase asked curiously.
"Oli, he just asked me I would go on a date with him tommorow after school" I replied absentmindedly.
Chase rolled his eyes.
"Why do you hate him so much, what did he ever do to you?" I asked rolling my eyes back at him.
He mumbled something but I didn't hear, "what?" I asked.
"Nothing", Chase replied rolled his eyes.
I rolled my eyes back at him and lay my head back onto the bed closing my eyes.
"Lets go to bed" Chase said a lot softer.
"Okay" I sighed not bothering to move just yet.
"Where did you want me to sleep tonight?" Chase asked causing me to look at him weirdly.
I thought he was sleeping with me?
"Um, I thought you were sleeping with me — if that's okay?" I asked looking back at him causing him to roll his eyes.
"Of course it's okay with me, but will it be okay with Oliver?" Chase asked in an obvious tone.
Oh shit.
I didn't respond.
"Let's go" Chase chuckled sarcastically.
I nodded my head following him up, I knew this wouldn't be okay with Oliver but one more night of Chase, and then I'm done.
***
We lay in bed and both just faced the ceiling in complete silence, we had both already gotten changed, I was wearing my shorts and singlet while Chase was just wearing sweats.
"Are you going to tell Oli you stayed the night with me?" Chase asked looking at me softly, but for some reason he looked vulnerable as he said it.
I sighed, "I won't lie to him if he asks but I'm not going to brag about it" I replied.
Chase nodded.
"I shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed as you should I?" I ask Chase guiltily.
"Probably not" Chase chuckled, "if my girlfriend slept in the same bed as another guy I think I'd murder him, I get jealous enough as it is"
"I'm a horrible girlfriend" I comment sighing.
"I can sleep on the couch if you want princess?" Chase suggests looking at me.
"No it's your bed, thank you for letting me sleep here with you" I reply back.
"What guy wouldn't want to sleep with a girl that looked like you, even if it was only sleeping when there are so many better things you could do in bed?" Chase smirked at me, "even if she did have a boyfriend" he joked.
"Chase" I scold laughing hitting his shoulder lightly.
A minute of silence passes.
"Go to sleep princess" Chase said softly. I nodded and turned around to go to sleep.
***
I had woken up and I instantly felt guilty, last night was the last night I would ever sleep with Chase or rely on him.
Before I could get up I noticed Chase's arm draped over my bare waist, just like the first time we had ever slept together accept this time he was okay with it.
He was heavily pushed up against my back and I could feel every muscle in his torso pressed against me, and he had a lot of torso muscles.
I remembered the first time we slept together and he knew how we had slept how he had called me a needy virgin.
The words hurt thinking about them, obviously he knew now that I wasn't a virgin but the words were a constant reminder of the fact that he would never feel anything towards me other than friendship.
But it was also good in a way, it was one step closer to forgetting about him.
I was extremely comfortable and that in itself wasn't good. Instinctively I pushed my back further into his chest craving more of the warmth.
Chase groaned in his sleep, "princess I wouldn't do that if I were you unless you want this morning to go a very different way".
Oh fuck.
I instantly blushed and got out of bed checking the time on my phone.
"I didn't mean get out of bed" Chase groaned again rolling over and instantly falling back asleep.
I rolled my eyes chucking and walked into Ava's room to help her get ready for preschool.
"Hey bub" I soothed when she slowly woke up, "you wanna get ready for school?".
Ava nodded sleepily but closed her eyes again.
"How about if I make you pancakes for breakfast" I suggested smiling causing Ava to open her eyes again.
"And you can even wear your new dress to school today" I continued.
Ava got up instantly smiling.
"How about you be a big girl and get on your dress by yourself and I'll make you pancakes?" I smiled at her.
"Okay!!!" She beamed, "Ally will you also do my hair pretty like Hanna's?".
"Who's Hanna?" I ask her curiously, "she's a friend at school who's really mean to all the other kids, her hair is always really pretty" Ava sighed.
Was Ava getting bullied.
"I'll do it even better than Hanna's" I promised smiling.
Ava nodded happily and I walked downstairs to make pancakes.
I walked into the kitchen and the bench where we had kissed automatically caught my attention.
I looked at it for a few seconds and absentmindedly found myself tracing my lips with my fingers.
Ava's door slamming shut cut off my thoughts and I instantly began making the pancakes.
I found the mixture in the cupboard and filled it up with milk to the line.
I put on the pan and started humming to myself while cooking them.
Ava came down and sat on the bench soon after.
"Hey bub, you ready to eat?" I ask smiling at her.
"Yes please!!! Chase never lets me eat pancakes on a school day!!" She beams.
I laugh at the little girls adorableness and pass her the first pancake I had made.
After making a few and giving some of them to her and keeping the rest for Chase and I she asked me to do her hair.
I ran upstairs to get her hair brush and some hair ties and ran back down.
I couldn't do much with hair so I just started with brushing it.
"What's happening down here?" Chase smirked when he saw I had made his little sister pancakes and was now doing her hair.
"Ally is making me look better than Hanna!!" Ava giggled.
"I can see that, what about the pancakes?" Chase smiled.
"It was Ally!!" Ava accused making Chase smirk at me.
"Thanks for putting me under the bus Ava!!" I laugh at her guilty look.
"What does that mean?" Ava asks in confusion.
Chase looked at me smirking, I shrugged in response.
"It means that all these pancakes are for me!!" Chase stirs while ticking Ava's sides making her laugh.
"No Chasey!! These are mine!!" Ava scolded.
Chase put his hands up in fake surrender and sat down next to Ava and began to eat the other pancakes.
He was wearing his casual wear, black jeans, a dark t - shirt and his signature leather jacket, he always wore the same thing but it never failed to amaze me how hot he looked in it.
I wasn't great with hair so I did all I knew how to do, I braided 2 parts of the top of her hair and made them meet turning it into a half up half down hairstyle, the top of her hair was in a normal pony tail and I just left the rest of her hair down naturally.
She was such an attractive girl, and was going to break many hearts in the future just like her brother.
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Another one!? Go me.
Hope you enjoyed, obviously the picture above is Ava's hair except it was in a pony tail not a messy bun.
- Jade xx