Serenity
As I opened the door of the residence and enter in the elevator to head to living room, all of our brothers are sitting on the couch, some of them are walking back and forth with phones in their hands but their faces looked at me with relief as they saw me, Iori's teary eyes and red face is the one that first embrace me, what did I do to make him cry? he doesn't deserve the way I treat him.
"Gomen." I whisper and stroke his hair gently, Iori's body is a bit heavy, we both fell on the floor as he hug me still while crying on my chest.
"I-I am so worried about y-you!" he almost yelled but sobs interrupt his voice.
"You need to rest." I said and help him to sit up.
"I want to sleep with you." Iori said like were still kids, kids that are scared of monsters that are hiding under their beds.
"Sure." I said and smiled.
I stand up and dusted myself before looking at all of my brothers before bowing 90 degrees to them, Louis-nii is right, I made them worry as hell.
"I am very sorry onii-chans." I said and smile to them as I stood up again like a straight spaghetti.
"Were really worried about you but the one behind you almost flip the whole residence just to find you." Kaname-nii said and pointed Iori behind me, Iori blushed as he wrap his arms around my waist and snuggle his head on my shoulder.
"Were really worried about you, Ukyo has taken care of mother and talked to her about you, mother will be gone for another year to continue his fashion event that is held at France." Masaomi-nii said and I smiled, feeling happiness bubble up inside me.
"Don't go outside the house like that again, Serenity." Hikaru-nii said and massage his temple.
"I won't and I'm really sorry." I said, I pull Iori with me to sit beside Azusa-nii and Tsubaki-nii, I am sitting between Tsubaki-nii and Iori.
"Maybe we should held a little celebration since Serenity come back!" Subaru-nii said, I giggled and everyone agreed.
"Hey, were glad that you're back now." Ema said as we cut the vegetables for the hot pot.
"Thank you and I'm sorry if I worried everyone." I said and Ema just smile and shook her head, she's been a great friend to me.
"I'm really thankful to have a girl sibling." I said and she blushed.
"I'm thankful too, to have another girl to talk to besides my friends from school." she said, I smile to her and continue cutting the vegetables.
While cutting the onions, I suddenly cut my thumb, instead of feeling the sting from the cut, I didn't feel anything at all, it's just the numbness, I couldn't care less about that as I walk to the faucet and rinse off the blood. Fuuto looked at my cut worrily and grab a plaster to wrap around the cut, I want to laugh, the cut isn't even that big to use a plaster.
"Nee-chan, you should be more careful." he said and I smile then patted his head, "Hai, I will." I said before leaving the kitchen.
"Can I go upstairs my room? I'll just change." I ask Ukyo-nii, he nodded and ruffled my hair.
As I enter my room, the smell of vanilla quickly invaded my nose and calmed my nerves, I look inside my closet to find a good clothes and I just settle for a comfortable cream colored knitted sweater and black thights.
"I'm glad to be back." I whisper to myself.
I made them worried for me, a worthless being.
I pull something behind the mirror of the cabinet and stare at the blade, my hands were ichy since I cut my thumb, It was my fault, the thirst of hurting myself was awoken.
"They will found out." I muttered to myself before lifting up the front part of the sweater and slowly cutting the skin on my belly.
I moan in satisfaction and continue making cuts, it has been a while since I cut and I couldn't help but to slowly drown to the feelings inside me.
Iori and all of my brothers were worried, Natsume-nii is even downstairs just to make sure that I made it home with Louis-nii, I made them worried over me.
Why am I even here!?
Tears of hatred for myself slowly fall from my eyes, I don't understand myself anymore, my mood swings are being worse than before, I don't want this!
I don't even know why they started giving me attentions, I feel like they're playing with my emotions.
***
I stare up to my father with my big doe eyes, he look at me before kneeling down to my level, I look behind him to see his luggage and other important things, I'm only 10 years old and I still need a father, me and my brothers needs him.
"Where are you going, father?" I ask with a teary eyes.
"I'm sorry my princess but father needs to go, he needs to give peace in this house, hmmm." he said, I hug my fathers neck with my arms as I cry on his shoulder.
"Don't go, I don't want you to go, I promise! I will study harder this time! I will be the best!" I whimpered, father look at me and stare at my other eye.
"I love you and always remember that your eyes are beautiful." he said and kissed my forehead before standing up and leaving us.
Mother doesn't hate me because I have a mismatched eyes, she hates me because my eyes reminds her of our father. Since then, my mother always pushes me and pressured me about school.
***
I walk lazily to school as Mitsube and I waited for Kiyoko and Riku, Iori and I had breakfast earlier but I didn't talked to him a lot because I'm still sleepy, I couldn't sleep last night and I just read some of my academic books.
"Ne Serene, Sora sensei wants to see you to his faculty office." Kiyoko said as she walk to us, she said that he's been finding me since yesterday and I'm absent, I press my fingers on the eye patch that I wore before turning my back.
"Hai, be careful." I said and walk to the faculty office.
Sora sensei is sitting down on his swivel chair inside his office when I enter it, his hair is a little disheveled and it gives him the look of a highschool student playboy.
"Sit down, Serenity-san." sensei said and sigh, he looks at all of the papers in front of him before putting them aside.
"What's the reason of me being called in here, sensei?" I ask, Sora sensei looked in my eyes before shaking his head.
"I just want to give you the thropy of the competition, it was given to me yesterday by Tamaki sensei but you're absent yesterday." sensei said, "Are you okay, Serenity-san? the bags under your eyes is looking bigger than the other day." he added but I shook my head.
Why would he be concern to a student like me?
"Thanks for the concern sensei but I think, being a teacher doesn't concern you that much about the health of your student." I said and stood up but before I turn my back, Sora sensei grab my arm and pull me back, I hissed.
That's the spot where I cut yesterday after cutting the skin on my belly.
"G-Gomen, are you okay?" he ask, concern is lacing his voice, I avoided his eyes.
"I suggest that you leave me alone, sensei." I said before walking out his office and slamming the door.
He doesn't need to know, he doesn't need to know that I'm a suicidal maniac, because I don't deserve everyone around me, I need to lock myself more and throw away the key of my happiness.
So, sensei, please don't find it anymore, I don't even want my brothers to find it because in front of them, I can smile like I used to be, I can show them the old Serenity but I can't never allow myself to show them the real me, the broken Serenity.
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(A/N)
Sorry for my wrong grammars and typos!
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