Riley and I were walking towards our locker when Riley turned to met Lucas's gaze. Lucas smiled a bright smile looking at me. I smiled back and saw Lucas approaching Riley and I. "No-ooooo!" Dad shouted, picking Riley up and carrying her into the classroom. I looked at Lucas and shrugged my shoulders before walking into the classroom. The door closes behind me as Dad sets Riley down at her desk. I sat down at my desk watching Riley and Dad's exchange.
"Dad are you out of your mind?" Riley asked Dad. "Riley. it's time for the talk." Dad said to her. "In front of the whole class?" Riley questioned. Dad looked at Lucas who was standing at the door. "Yeah, give her the talk let's see what you know." I said, getting interesting in the matter at hand. "Okay. When a daughter..." he started, but was cut off by Riley. "Stop." She demanded. "Excuse me." Dad said. He ran to the back of the back door and closed it. "Not today, Chachi." He said.
Lucas pushed the door open with dad behind it. "Sir, you've known me all year. You like me, admit." Lucas said. "I don't wanna." Dad said. "I'm one of the good kids. What are you so afraid of?" Lucas asked. "Okay." Dad said. He walked towards the front of the room and erased Belgium 1831 off of the board. Farkle stood up wearing a Belgium shirt and hold a Belgium flag. "No!" he shouted.
"Okay, guys. It's the seventh grade spring fever, which leads to dating, which leads to movies, which leads to popcorn, which leads to putting your hands together in the dark touching popcorn, which leads to holding hands, which leads to that." Dad said pointing at Yogi and Darby. "Oh I am not ready for this." Dad walked over to them and picked up Yogi and separates him from Darby. "Come with me. Come here. Come on, no, come one. Come with me." Dad went to the front of the class with Yogi. "Riley, Kayden, I am begging you stay in Neverland, okay? No growing up." He said, then placed Yogi on his desk.
Farkle raised his hand. "What do you want?" Dad asked. "The way I see it, I'm in an interesting position here." Farkle said. "How do you figure Farkle?" Dad asked. "Let's approach this as a scientific equation. You're scared of Lucas going out with Riley, right?" Farkle asked. Dad scoffed. "Oh, does it show?" he asked. "Yeah, they're good looking and athletic." Farkle responded. "He's thirty six!" Dad exclaimed pointing at Lucas.
"Give your daughter to me. I'll give you four oxen and my best milking cows." Farkle bargained. Dad looked back at Lucas than at Farkle. "Are you actually thinking about this?" Riley and I asked our dad. My asking being in amusement more than anger. He smiled at us. "It's a good deal." He said. Riley stood up. "I will decided who I go on my first date with at such time as somebody asks me." Riley explained. Lucas raised his hand. Riley made an excited face.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Riley, Maya, and I were standing by our lockers after class. "Why do you think he put his hand down?" Riley asked. "Because you dad wouldn't call on them." Maya said. "And I don't think he ever will again." I added on with a laugh. "Life used to be so simple, Maya and Kayden. Wake up, brush my hair, eat cereal, pick up the bowl of cereal that I dropped." Riley explained. "When did all of this pressure happen?" Maya asked. "Boys have it easy, they have to ask." Riley said. "Really?" I said in disbelief.
"Oh yeah, they wouldn't last a day in our shoes. Waiting for them to get the courage to ask us." Riley told us. "And then doing the vacuuming and ironing the babies." Maya added sarcastically. I giggled at the last part. "Riley, this isn't the 90s anymore. You want something you go get it." I told her. "You're telling me you're not a little bit afraid of this?" Riley asked. "No." Maya answered. "You're saying that if you had feelings for somebody that you wouldn't be nervous?" Riley asked. "No, the only thing that makes me nervous is that the thing that everybody wants to happen never happens because everybody's too afraid to make it happen." Maya said.
"Hey Ranger Rick." Maya greeted Lucas. "Hey other one." He greeted back. "You wanna go out with me?" Maya asked him. "What?" Lucas asked. "Do you wanna take me to a movie and put our hands in the popcorn at the same time and see what happens, or what?" Maya asked. Farkle ran over to Riley. "Okay, you and me 'cause I don't care." Farkle said to Riley. Riley had a shocked look on her face. I watched in shock knowing that I may have to keep my feelings concealed from another friend.
~~~~~~~~~~
I was sitting with Riley at her bay window. Riley and I were both shocked by the events that took place at school. Maya climbed through the window. She tried to close Riley's mouth, but Riley hissed at her and almost bit her hand. "Yeow!" Maya exclaimed. "Back traitor." Riley demanded pointing towards the window. "Traitor, Me? Could this possibly be because I asked Lucas out?" Maya asked. This is why I couldn't expose my feelings for Lucas.
"You asked Lucas out." Riley stated. "What? You're upset?" Maya asked. "I'm beyond upset. I'm whatever the next one is." Riley told her. "What you think he's cute?" Maya asked. "He's aight." Riley answered. "What? You wanted him to ask you out?" Maya asked. "Maybe, but now you ruined my eight-year plan." Riley told her. "That doesn't sound like such an effective plan." I commented. "Riles, you've been goofy about Lucas since the day you saw him in the subway and even more when you fell into his lap." Maya explained to her. The day I also fell for him.
"You pushed me." Riley retorted. "And now I have pushed him." Maya replied. My eyes widened in realization. "What do you mean?" Riley asked. "Don't worry about it." Maya told us. "I am worried. I am worried about our friendship which you called into question on this day." Riley replied. "Oh, all right, you want to ask each other questions? Go ahead." Maya told Riley.
"Why did you ask him?" Riley asked. "How long have you known me?" Maya asked. "Where are you taking him?" Riley asked. "You think I would hurt you?" Maya asked. "What are you gonna wear?" Riley asked. "You don't think she has a bigger plan?" I asked. "Can I at least be your maid of honor?" Riley asked. "Of course, when I marry anybody else in the world besides Ranger Rick." Maya answered. Riley scoffed at Maya. "What? You're just going to date him and then throw him away?" She asked.
"Hey, Whack job?" Maya said. "Yes?" Riley replied. "He doesn't want to go out with me. He's not going out with me. He's never going out with me." Maya explained to her. "Well, if he doesn't want to go out with you, do you not want me to go out with him?" Riley questioned. "Come here." Maya said. "You too." She said looking at me. I sat on the other side of her. Riley and I put our heads on her shoulders. "Life is changing isn't it?" Riley asked. "Yes. But this never will." Maya answered. We heard the doorbell ring. "Who's that? We weren't expecting anybody." Riley said sitting up. "Oh, I was." Maya told us. I smiled knowing who was at the door.
~~~~~~~~~~
Riley, Maya, and I walked into the living room when dad opened the door. "You." He said. "Me." Lucas said. "Auggie's not home." Dad told him. "Yeah I'm not here to see Auggie." Lucas replied. "Riley's not home either." Dad told him. "Hi Lucas." Riley said. "That's right I lied right in yo' face." Dad said while pointing at him. "Actually, Mr. Matthews, I'm not here to see her either." Lucas told him. "You're not?" Dad questioned. "You're not?" Riley and I repeated. 'Yay!' I thought in my mind.
"I want to do this the right way. So first I'm here to talk to you, sir." Lucas said. 'Boo' I thought. Dad turned towards us and we smiled at him and he smiled at us. He turned back towards Lucas. "I want to do this the right way too, Lucas. No!" He said then slammed the door closed on Lucas. Lucas pushed the door opened. "Mr. Matthews, would it be possible to speak with you alone?" Lucas asked.
"About homework?" dad asked. "No." Lucas answered. "About a grade?" dad asked. "No." Lucas answered. "Then this has nothing to do with me and you've come to the wrong place. Good day." dad told them. "Actually-" Lucas started. "I said good day, sir." Dad interrupted walking away from them. "But I need to talk to you." Lucas said, following him. "Is this about a historical event? I can only speak to you about historical events." Dad told them. "Yes." Lucas answered. "Well, then go right ahead." Dad told them.
"I'm asking your permission to ask out your daughter." Lucas said. "You tricked me!" Dad accused. "That's right, we lied right in yo' face." Lucas said, smiling. "Get them, Topanga." Dad told mom. "My pleasure." Mom walked towards Lucas. "Lucas, you are about the most charming young man I have ever met." She said. "Yeah!" dad said. "But as delighted as I am that in this day and age you would come to get our blessing. Do you really think Riley is ready-" She asked. "Yes!" Riley said walking closer to them. "Riley be cool." I told my sister. "Yes." Riley said in a 'cool' tone. "Topanga, we really need to talk." Dad said to mom. "Mr. Matthews, we really need to talk." Maya told my dad. "Good help me." Dad said as he sat down. "When a father turns a certain age, things will start happening to you that you don't understand. It'll confuse you, but it's a magical time." Maya told him. "Shut up!" Dad retorted. "Look, don't worry. This is all normal and it's just your body's way of telling you that you are a woman." Maya said and poked him. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, don't think of them as a date. Think of it as a beautiful fantasy world that only include the two of them and not you anymore." I added.
Mom walked over to Maya. "I appreciate you, Maya." She said as she put an arm over Maya. "I think you're pretty fierce." She said. "Yep, she's pretty brilliant." I said, complimenting her on her plan. "Hey, kiddies." Uncle Josh greeted as he walked in. "Uncle Boing." Maya stated. She almost fell, but mom caught her. "My brother." Dad stated as he pointed at Uncle Josh. "My brother." Uncle Josh said as he pointed at dad. "Hey, I come with good news." Uncle Josh said. "Thank you, I'm good." Maya told my mom. "I'm joining N.Y.U Pre-college program so I'll be here all summer." Uncle Josh told us. "Okay, I'm not good." Maya stated. She almost falls over again. "I gotcha, honey." Mom told her.
Dad stood up. "Josh, would you do me a favor and explain to your niece that they are way too young to go out on their first dates?" dad asked as he pushed Uncle Josh towards us. "Niece, what kept you going so long? Welcome to the party, guys. Enjoy!" Uncle Josh told us as he pushed Riley to Lucas. "Get out of my house!" Dad demanded. "I'll go to the party with you, Uncle Josh." Maya said. "Still too old for you, Maya." Uncle Josh told her. Maya slowly walked towards Uncle Josh. "Three years, what's three years in the history of love? They found some cavemen footprints, a man and a woman, they didn't know how old they were. All the scientists could tell was that they were holding hands. You know why? That was all that was important." Maya explained to him. "Wow, Maya." Uncle Josh said. "Keep looking at me." Maya demanded. "Oh, you know what's really important is I have my first appointment with my campus advisor downstairs." Uncle Josh said. He ran out of the door and dad slammed the door closed after him.
"So, I have everybody's permission except Mr. Matthews?" Lucas asked. "Lucas, I like you. I really do. But do you think I look like the kind of guy that would let his child go out on a date this young?" dad asked. I turned to see Auggie running in the room with Ava. "I put a ring on it." Auggie told us. "What?" mom questioned. "We're engaged." Auggie told her. "Let me tell you why you're not engaged." Mom said. "Let me tell you why we are. Sing it, baby." Auggie said. "Look at me. I'm Ava Morgenstern.... Matthews!" Ava sang holding out her left hand that had a ring on it. Mom laughed and looked at the ring. "What? Oh my gosh. Look at this ring. It looks just like mi- Hey! Give me this!" mom took the ring off of Ava's hand.
"Yeah, it's Auggie's grandma's ring." Ava stated. Mom scoffed. "It's actually my ring." Mom corrected her. "Oh, you're not Auggie's grandma?" Ava asked innocently. "Ava honey, are you looking at me? You looking right into my eyes? Okay good, I got something to say, ugh." Mom said. "Eww." Auggie and Ava said before they ran off. The to the apartment opened and Farkle walked in. "Greetings Matthews, I've come to ask Riley out on her now that Maya has asked out Lucas." Farkle said as he walked in.
"What? Why would you do that?" my dad asked. "Because nobody, does nothing." Maya answered. "You lit the fire, huh?" mom asked. "Somebody had to push these two kids together which would push the other two together." Maya explained. "Have I told you lately I think you're pretty fierce?" mom asked. I put an arm around Maya. "Have I told you lately I think you're pretty fierce?" I asked Maya. "What's going on?" Farkle asked. "What's going on, Farkle, is that this kid here wants my blessing." Dad said and walked over to Lucas. "You want it? "I do, sir." Lucas answered. "Then you got it." Dad told them.
"Really?" Lucas asked. "Really?" Riley and I asked. "Really?" mom asked. "Really? Because I got a cow in the elevator." Farkle told us. "On one condition." Dad said. "Uh-oh." Maya and I said. "I want this to be a triple date. Okay? If you are gonna go out with him." Dad said and moved Riley toward Lucas. "Then you are gonna go out with him." He said and turned Maya towards Farkle while laughing. "That works for me because you're Riley or Maya." Farkle stated. "Dad, you can't just tell her who to go out with on her first date." I told him. "Oh Kayden, I did say triple date." Dad said. "Me too?" I asked. "You too." Dad responded. "Who am I going out with?" I asked. "A new family moved in across the street. I talked to the mother and she said she had a child that would go to your school soon. I asked her if she would ask if her child would go and she said yes." Dad explained. A knock at the door was heard. A boy our age walked in. "Dad don't tell me this is my date." I said. "Hi, i'm Mason Daniels and apparently I'm here for a triple date." He said. "Dad!" I shouted. "I didn't know, but now that I do this is kind of funny." Dad said, chuckling. "I'm not doing this." I said. "Yes you are. If you don't go Riley and Lucas can't go." Dad replied with a smirk. Riley look at me with a pleading face. "Alright, I do it but only for Riley." I said. "Hey if it helps I recently came out as Bisexual." Mason said to me. "It doesn't!" I exclaimed. "Oh, don't think of it as a date, Kayden. Think of it as a magical time and a journey to include." Dad blew a raspberry before he sighed and sat down.
"So-." Lucas started. "Yes." Riley said. "Riley." Lucas said. "Yes." Riley said. "Maya. Kayden." Mom said. "We'll fix it." Maya and I told her. "Would you like to go out with me?" Lucas asked. "Y-Y-Y-Yay!" Riley shouted. "I can't fix that." I commented. "So Kayden, would you like to go out with me?" Mason asked me. "To make sure Riley's happy I have to say yes." I said. "So, Maya-." Farkle started. "No." Maya said. "Would you-." Farkle started. "No." Maya said. "I mean it, Maya." Dad told Maya. "Would you whatever he's doing with her?" Farkle asked. Maya looked back at us before turning back towards Farkle. "Yeah, fine." Maya answered. She held her arms out and when Farkle was about to fall she dropped her arms.
~~~~~~~
"I can't believe you'd let Farkle and the new guy be your first dates so Lucas can be mine." Riley said while hugging Maya and I as we walked into Mrs. Svorski's Bakery. Riley let go of us. "Riles, I'm not going to look at is as a first date." I said. Yeah, and we hang out with Farkle all the time. This is just more hanging out." Maya told her. "But Farkle thinks it's a date." Riley told her. "Then this is just more Farkle thinking it's a date." Maya replied. "Then does that mean my first date with Lucas isn't actually a date?" Riley asked. "No, no, your date with Lucas is serious right-of-passage, coming-of-age, growing-up stuff." Maya explained to her. "Should I be scared?" Riley asked. "Of Ranger Rick? Sure, honey you be scared as you like." I answered. but I looked over and saw Uncle Josh with some girl and I turned to Riley who stopped smiling.
"Well, I don't think you need to be anywhere near that scared." Maya said. "We have to go." Riley stated. Maya almost turned around towards Uncle Josh, but Riley and I stopped her. "Why?" Maya asked. "Maya, please. Do you trust us?" I asked. "More than anything in the world." Maya answered. "Then don't turn around." I told her. "Okay, if you say not to, I won't." Maya replied. "Let's go." Riley said. We started to walk out. "Oh, wait, I forgot. I'm still me." Maya said. She turned around and saw Uncle Josh with that girl.
"You know what the best thing is about going out with Farkle?" Maya asked. "What?" Riley and I asked. "No matter what happens I won't get hurt." Maya answered. Riley and I put an around Maya and all three of us leave.
~~~~~~~
I was getting ready and my Dad was in my room. "How do I look, dad?" I asked. "For someone who isn't considering this as his first official date you sure look good." Dad answered. "Well I thought I would give him something because this is his first time here. Do you remember your first date with Mom?" I asked. "We were two years old and we played in the playground. No, we were eight and we caught fireflies. No, we were in the sixth grade and we kissed against the lockers. No, we threw socks into the laundry basket." He said and we sat down on My bed. "No, I fell into a llama pen at the zoo. No, that was my first date with Shawn."He said with a dreamy look and I laughed thinking about my two fathers. "I guess I should go check on Riley and see how she's doing with the whole date thing." I said. "Ok, and Kayden." Dad said getting my attention as I made my way to the door. I looked at him. "Try to have fun." He said, I nodded before walking out the room.
"Well, I am really excited for my first date." I heard Riley admit as I walked in. "Oh, what girl wouldn't be?" mom asked. "All right let's get this thing over with." Maya said as she climbed through the window. "Ay Chihuahua." Mom commented. "What?" Maya asked. "For someone who doesn't care you do look pretty ay Chihuahua." I told her. "Yeah, I just figured even though I'm not counting this as a first date it seems like it's a pretty big deal for Farkle so I wanted to give him at least eighty-four percent." Maya explained.
"Good." Riley said. She put a hand on Maya's shoulder. "So you're feeling better about my uncle Uncle Josh?" "No, that's just another lump of coal I'll bury deep in my dungeon of sadness next to my daddy issues and ballerina dreams." Maya explained as she sat down on Riley's bed. "Maya, I didn't know that you had dreams of being a ballerina." Mom said. "I don't. I dream of ballerinas kicking me with their pointy toes while they're stabbing me in the face with their bun heads." Maya told her. "Oh. Well, you look great." She replied.
~~~~~~~
Riley, Maya, and I entered the subway station. I could see Lucas, Farkle, and Mason waiting for us. We walked towards them. "Hey Maya, let's run towards each other in slow motion." Farkle suggested. Farkle started to move towards us in slow motion. "Maya!" "No." Maya told him once he stopped. "Come on. You know you want to." Farkle said. "Farkle, who else would-?" Maya started, but noticed Riley started to walk In slow motion. "Stop." Maya ordered and Riley stopped.
Lucas walked towards Riley. "Hi." Riley said. "Hi, I thought I was going to be too nervous to say anything, but I'm not." Farkle said, speaking really fast. "I'm talking really good. I'm a good day talker. I'm the best day talker there is." "Even though this just happened, there are some moments you know you're gonna remember forever. This is one of them." Lucas said looking at me. I gave him a confused look and he quickly fixed his gaze on Riley. "I'm the second best day talker there is." Farkle commented. "I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel right now looking at you." Mason said looking at me. "I'm now the third best day talker there is. Oh, the train's coming." Farkle said. "All aboard, woo woo!"
~~~~~~~
Riley, Maya, Farkle, Mason, Lucas, and I walked on to the train. "Well, this is pretty easy so far." Riley commented. "Because we're already friends." Lucas said. "Well, this is my first time meeting you all and I'm liking the dynamic so far." Mason said. Riley and Lucas sat down while Maya and Farkle stood up. Mason and I sat farther away from everyone. "Let's always be friends no matter what happens, okay?" Farkle said. "Yeah, first let's see what happens." Maya told him. "Okay." Farkle replied. "I don't want to jinx this, but it's just like hanging out at school. What could possibly go wrong?" Riley asked.
Maya turned around to see Uncle Josh sitting with the girl we saw him with before. The girl stood up and Uncle Josh did too. "Sophie, Sophie." Uncle Josh said. "Um, I thought we connected pretty well." "I'm going to be a junior, junior. I got a couple years on you don't I?" Sophie asked. "What's three years? You think three years matter at our age?" Uncle Josh asked. "Yeah, I do." Sophie answered before she walked off of the train. Maya walked over towards Uncle Josh. "Maya?" Uncle Josh asked. "She pulled that three years older thing on you, huh?" Maya asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I really put myself out there." Uncle Josh answered. "Oh, I'm sure I couldn't possibly identify with your pain." Maya said as she sat down next to him. "Cavemen, footprints, hold hands." "Hurts doesn't it?" Uncle Josh asked. "A little bit yeah." Maya answered. "How do you deal with it?" Uncle Josh asked. "Well me, I've got this dungeon of sadness." Maya told him. "Oh yeah, you go me in there?" Uncle Josh asked. "Oh yeah, you and a whole flock of ballerinas." Maya explained. "Lucas?" Riley questioned. "Go over there, Riley. Be with your best friend." Lucas told her. "What about our date?" she asked. "I had a good time." He told her. "I'm glad you were my first." Riley told him. "Mason?" I asked. "She's your best friend and she's hurting. Be there for her." He told me. I got up with Riley and walked over to Maya just as Uncle Josh left.
Maya stood up and moved towards us. "What happened to your dates?" she asked us. "We had a good time." Riley told her. "And then our best friend got all needy." I added. "Yeah, I know how that goes. Thanks for being there for me." Maya said. "Hey we're sure you'll make it up to us someday." Riley said. "How 'bout now?" Maya asked taking My hand off of the pole. "Why this?" I questioned. I fell in Mason's lap. "Hey, handsome." Mason says with a smile. "I just meet you and I can tell you're a big dork." I said, with a smile. He stuck out his tounge and I laughed. I look over to see Riley fall in Lucas's lap. They kiss and smile at each other. I feel jealousy run through my body as my smile falls. "You like him." Mason stated. "What?" I asked. "Lucas. They way you've looked at him since I've meet you, It's pure adoration and the way you look right now reads jealousy." He says. "No, I don't like guys." I said, shaking my head. "Look, sexuality is a spectrum. Just because you like him doesn't automatically make you gay." He says. "Well, this date has taken a weird turn." I said. "I won't you to know if you ever need to talk about your crush I'm here." He said, staring deep into my eyes. He planted a big sloppy wet kiss on my cheek. A comforting shock spread throughout my body. I wiped my cheek in fake disgust. "Ew dude." I said. We laugh and continue to talk for the rest of the night about our interests.
~~~~~~~
Riley, Maya, and I were sitting by Riley's window. "Mine was like when it's summer and then the breeze comes up and then it rains for two seconds and then everything glows and there's a rainbow. How was yours?" Riley asked me after talking about her first kiss. "Mine was like a Shih Tzu going after a chew toy." Maya told us. "Mine was like being licked by a German Shepherd." I said, hiding the fact that the kiss on the cheek was actually invigorating. "So it was a magical night for the three of us." Riley stated.
"You realize, Maya, Kayden, that life as we know it has changed?" Riley told Maya and I. "Scared?" Maya asked. "No, I got you two." She said as she wrapped an arm around Maya and I as we lean against each other.
~~~~~~~
I was sitting up at night because I couldn't sleep. I needed to tell someone but I knew i couldn't tell Riley. I pulled out my phone and texted Maya. I tapped my foot anxiously waiting for Maya at my desk. Maya knocked on my window. I went to the window and opened it and sat back down. "Hey Kayden, I got your message. You said you couldn't sleep so I brought snacks, and movies, and..." Maya started but stopped when she saw my desolate face. "Is everything ok?" She asked. "Maya, I been feeling something for a while now and I just need someone to talk to." I said. Tears start to leak out my eyes. Maya sits down at the desk I was sitting at. "Kayden, whatever it is, I will try to help in any way i can." She said and I nodded as more tears spilled. "Now, what's going on Kay?" She asked, her voice soft and gentle. "Tonight at our triple date I look at Riley and Lucas and I felt so angry. I hated them being together ... and I love Riley... and just want to see her happy but tonight I just couldn't." I said, getting choked up. "Kayden, its okay if you think you like Riley. You've spent so much time around her and you've always protected her so maybe you're just confusing your feeling." She said. I shook my head. "That's not it is it?" She said and I nodded wiping away my tears. A look of Realization washed over her. "You like Lucas?" She asked. I nodded being too chocked up to even speak. "Kayden, this doesn't change who you are. You're still the lovable, kind, smart, amazing friend you've always been." Maya said, walking over to hug me. "Kayden you do need to tell everyone though and if they don't feel the same way as i do then you can live with me." She said. "Thanks Maya, I just need time but I will tell everyone." I said, finally able to speak. "Will you at least tell Riley?" Maya asked. "I can't. I don't know what my sexuality is Maya. All I know is that I like Lucas and If I tell her that then it'll crush her." I said. Maya nodded. "Ok, Kayden I still want you to know that you are an amazing friend and brother and if Riley cares for you as much as you care for her she'll understand." Maya said before turning to leave. "Maya." I said, getting her attention. She turned around. "Thanks." I said. "You're welcome Kayden. I love you." She said. "Love you too." I said and she left.
~~~~~~~
I sat at my desk and begin to write:
I want you to be happy, but before you go I want you to know how I really feel about you.
Sometimes I think about you so much it hurts, I want us to happen, I want this so bad.
But then I get sad because I doubt the fact that we could be together, I want this so bad
I would be glad for you to know what I think of you. I like you. I like you so much that I'll let you go on with another person because I know that's where your heart belongs. You and her belong together even though I need you. - Kayden Matthews
I closed my Journal walked away from my desk and laid on my bed staring up at the ceiling.