Saihara left after I was a baby and clung onto him sobbing. It was mainly because we were talking for hours.
But...he told me some things. About what he's been doing while I've been planning with Harukawa.
An orginization called Themis. How I guess dear old dad was a part of. I guess that answered some questions but...
I don't know what to do at all.
I am an orphan. My Uncle and Aunt lied to be about my Mother being fine. I wonder if they even gave her a funeral...they gave Kiibo one.
It would have been easier to deal with if I hadn't murdered my own Father. That man killed my family.
The worst part is why I'm alive. The fact that the second he was dead I could just feel it...I didn't even have to check for a pulse.
Is this what they call a full circle? He made me, then destroyed me, and then I killed him.
Part of me is saying I should be happy that b*stard is dead. But all I feel like doing is scream, I murdered someone. I guess he got the final laugh.
Because whoever I was before all this bull sh*t died back then. Just some understudy trying to play a role that wasn't meant for me.
Guess I should be happy Harukawa isn't disgusted by me enough to have left me there. Course she had to run into Saihara when I was having a nervous breakdown.
Am I even mad at him anymore? Probably not. I'm mad at myself. But I don't think I even care anymore.
I just want to sleep and never wake up.
Why did Saihara say he loved me? I don't understand it at all. Even if he doesn't know about what I did, it still doesn't make sense.
I've just shoved him out of my life. Didn't even bother talking to him for more than five minutes.
I'm not even going to bother with my personality.
And somehow he loves me, somehow I just let myself believe it if only for a brief second and hugged him. Hugging is weird...
My feelings I have no idea of. He seemed to be a bit more trustworthy, considering how everyone is lying everywhere I go.
How I'm lying. I knew I wasn't a good person for a long time. I knew I deserved to be punished when we went from small pranks to vandalism.
I knew I should have done something when I had the feeling that something was going to happen.
And I did nothing. Absolutely nothing and where did that get us? The grave. What a great ending.
A tale that will probably die with me, I'm the only reason it hasn't died yet. Because this town likes reminding me of how much my life sucks.
Themis. That's the reason why huh? That's why I've been suffering...I don't know what to do with this knowledge.
"So Ouma what are you going to do?" Harukawa asked. It's been a week and we were sitting on the rooftop.
Saihara was coming later to hang out, "I don't know" I admitted, "but...there's others right?" I asked.
"Who died and didn't ever get justice for what happened to them" I recalled, "wonder if anyone else has survived like me" I asked but mainly to myself.
"What are you planning to do?" Harukawa repeater and I sighed, "I think we both know how this will end..." I told her.
It's not going to be a happy ending. Not all endings are I guess. If this was a story...I think I would be the antagonist.
The protagonist is clear, Saihara. Maybe he can get the happy ending.