Once upon a time me and Ouma were close. I somehow managed to break through that state...that mask that jad covered up his true personality and feelings. His shield.
And when the time came to start fighting the darkness that the mask surpressed...I chickened out.
It's been a while since it happened. But...I'm starting to wonder if I actually did the right thing.
He is actually awake in class for once, he doesn't seem to be empty and actually took off his headphones.
I recognize those headphones now...I was wondering where she put them when she went deaf. She gave them to him.
He's changing in ways I didn't know he could. This should all be good...right? He has been announced at a C average again. Pretty impressive for someone who hasn't paid attention in class for years.
His bullying seems to have decreased and I never seen Ouma panic or look scared since that day. He just looks...determined. This should all be good. Yet...a part of me wonders what that look of determination means.
And what he seems to be planning. Every passing day we drift more and more apart. He barely speaks to me anymore.
Even worse...I am starting to doubt what's true or not. Recently Kiibo committed suicide. It was shocking to say the least...and I should be blamed.
I saw him. When he confessed about the suicide. I saw him crying, sobbing over what had happened.
Then I left him all alone. Why...why did I do that? Why do I do that whenever people need me? I am selfish. I was jealous of the dying Chiasa because she was loved and had friends, I manipulated the whole class to figure out the truth, I made Kiibo confess to memories he surpressed for a reason...
I manipulated Ouma. And I lied to him, without even knowing I did and some lies on purpose. I told him I would help him and then I betrayed him.
And because of my need to find the truth I let someone die. Kiibo...I am so sorry...
What concerns me the most though...is I think Ouma may have lied too. Discovered at the suicide scene was Otome's suicide note.
Now I don't know what to believe. Ouma who seemed to confess and unbelievably dark truth, or more evidence piling on top of each other to the truth everyone will tell me.
I don't know what I believed anymore! It's so confusing and I've never done a case before! I've only ever been on the sidelines I never asked for all this drama!
The truth is somewhere. It has to be. So until then...I'll continue what I've been doing. Because as much guilt I feel...it worked.
And in this town these is no room for kindness without an anterior motive. I need to find the suicide note from Otome, and see if there is any other notes hidden somewhere.
Then I can know for sure that Ouma is either lying...or telling the truth.
There is one fault though. I don't know about them much, other than Chiasa...and I don't see how she would end her life like that.
I don't want to think that she did...but I need to know the truth. The full truth so I can finally reveal it to the world.
That's why fate brought me here...right? To this school...to this town...full of lies and cruelty and vengeance.
I can't do it alone though...luckily there is one person I think if I asked...they would say yes.
I can't ask Ouma. Not until I know for sure. I need to see the incident from an outsider's perspective, one which Ouma can't provide.
I went off to find Kaede Akamatsu.
As the school bells rang and I gained new purpose, a new objective though...I glanced over at Ouma.
The person who I had fallen in love with. And I turned away, even though I think he knew I was watching him. Maybe one day...when this is all over...then I can tell him...and maybe then we can finally be friends.