A/N: oh my god, chapter 30!!!
'I've been doing a lot of thinking since your unexpected visit and I realized that we got off on the wrong foot. I just wanted to apologize for how things turned out.
Maybe you can let me make it up to you ...'
My thumb was between my teeth, biting at the chipped nail while I read the message over and over again. So if I got this right, this was basically my dad saying sorry for being an asshole and now he wanted to reconcile? I honestly didn't know what to think of it. He'd really hurt me the last time I saw him. I could remember it just like it was yesterday.
He had said that he didn't want anything to do with me. He sent me away like I was some nuisance, a bother. I had cried over it, over that bastard, and now he wanted forgiveness? He was going to have to put a little bit more effort into it.
I put my phone away in my pocket without replying and went to stand in front of my mirror. I picked up my hairbrush and started combing my hair, trying to ignore the small, nagging voice in my head, telling me to consider it. I didn't want to give in so easily, I didn't want to give him the impression I was the kind of person to turn the other cheek.
I've buried a lot of hatchets, I've forgiven and forgotten, but too many people abused my trust. I have fallen hook line and sinker. I've been lied to. I've been taken advantage of. I didn't want to go through that again, I didn't want to make the same mistake again.
"Jade!" Tristan yelled from downstairs. "Hurry up babe, I got places to be!"
"I'm coming!" I yelled back. I put my hairbrush down and quickly worked my fingers through my hair, putting it half up-half down. I checked myself in the mirror one last time, nodding in approval before going down the stairs.
I was searching for my shoes when I remembered I had put them outside last night. I opened the screen door to the back porch and jumped when I found Ashton lounged on a chair with a girl I had never seen before straddling his waist. They were getting a little hands-on and I pulled a face in disgust.
"Why are you two sitting out here?" I couldn't help but ask.
Ashton noticed my presence and briefly detached his lips from the girl's to answer. "Jordan said he didn't want me to bring any girls into our house anymore and technically I'm not."
"Smart," I snorted. I noticed the girl's annoyed expression at my interruption and quickly picked up my shoes. "Don't let me stop you, I'm already leaving."
"Wait, hold up!" he called me back. "Where do you think you're going in that?"
"In what?" I asked confused. I followed his gaze to my denim shorts and my frown deepened. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"
The nameless girl cupped his face and tried to kiss him again but Ashton wouldn't have it. He fixed me with a hard glare. "They're too short."
"Yeah, they're called shorts for a reason," I retorted sarcastically. I waved my fingers. "Bye."
"Hey, we're not done!"
I heard the scrape of a chair and a little girlish yelp. I had only put one foot back into the kitchen when a large hand suddenly circled around my upper arm, pulling me back. Ashton spun me around to face him.
"What is your problem!" I grounded out, yanking my arm out of his hold.
"What's going on?" Tristan went straight for the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. He leaned against the kitchen counter and eyed us questioningly. "Well?"
Ashton pointed at me. "Tell her she can't go out in that."
I fixed him with a scowl. "You can't tell me what to wear." I turned to face Tristan. "I've always worn these shorts, it was never a problem before."
Tristan swallowed down a mouthful of water as he assessed my outfit. "I'm sorry Jade, Ash's kinda right. How about you go change into something less ... revealing."
My jaw dropped in disbelief. "Revealing? Tristan, you bought these shorts for me, remember?"
"Well either they shrunk or you've gotten taller. Go put some tights underneath or something."
Feeling defiant, I crossed my arms and put my foot down. "No."
"No?" Ashton parroted.
"No," I heard myself repeat firmly. "It's too hot outside to wear tights and you don't have the right to tell me what to wear, if I feel like wearing these shorts then that's something you're gonna have to live with."
"You still on the rag?" Ashton asked.
I blushed furiously and lifted up my knee to kick him in the balls but of course he dodged it with way too much ease.
"Feisty," he commented with a snicker.
"Alright you two." Tristan took a last sip from his water before pushing himself off the counter. "Jade, let's go."
Ashton gave him a look. "You're getting soft now?"
Tristan rolled his eyes. "She's only going to Lauren's."
I caught Ashton's eye and smiled smugly.
"You little shit," he muttered under his breath, ready to lunge at me.
I pinched my eyes closed, ready for his attack when a strong arm suddenly snaked around my waist, effortlessly lifting me off the ground. Tristan had picked me up from behind, purposefully twisting me away from Ashton.
"Leave your sister alone," he grunted.
The screen door opened and the girl poked her head inside. "Ash, you coming or what?"
Ashton didn't pay her any attention, he was too busy pinning our brother with a glare. "Are you serious right now? You want people to look at her like that?"
"Just drop it," Tristan sighed as he adjusted his hold on me.
The girl impatiently pulled at Ashton's arm, whispering something in his ear. My brother pushed her away, ignoring the hurt flashing in her eyes.
"Get out."
"Wh-what? Why?" she sputtered.
"Just get the fuck out!" he barked, gesturing at the door.
She clenched her jaw and picked up her purse from the kitchen table. "Fucking asshole," she muttered under her breath before stomping out of the house.
I whistled lowly. "Wow, you're such a gentleman."
Ashton pointed an angry finger at me. "You, shut the fuck up. This is all your fault."
"No, you shut the fuck up!" I snapped. "Don't blame me for the fact that your booty call just walked out on you. If anything, maybe it was for the best - wouldn't want a repeat of what happened last time you decided to bang a girl." I fake-coughed, "Claire."
"Jade," Tristan warned, still carrying me like I was some ragdoll.
"What? Somebody needs to tell him," I reasoned.
Ashton's tongue darted out of his mouth, licking his bottom lip, a cocky grin stretched onto his face. "Two words, one finger."
"Aww, love you too." I smiled sweetly. I blew him a kiss just to be extra.
Ashton caught my kiss before pretending to throw it in the trash.
Ouch.
FADED
My tongue poked out the corner of my mouth as I meticulously poured the cupcake batter into the baking molds. Lauren's grandmother was coming over for a visit and she wanted to surprise her with her favorite chocolate desert. And me, being the good friend that I was, offered to bake the goodies because as much as I loved my best friend, she was a disaster in the kitchen.
"I don't know, this smells fishy," Lauren commented as she scrolled through the texts my dad had sent me.
"Tell me about it." I looked up at her from where she was sitting on the kitchen island, swinging her legs back and forth. "I just don't understand why he suddenly chose to contact me now. I mean after all these years, why now?"
"Doesn't make any sense," she agreed. She put my phone down and stared off at something on the wall with a pensive expression, I dubbed it her 'thinking face'. "Do you remember when we visited him, how he asked us if somebody sent us?"
"Hmm," I hummed around my finger, licking off the chocolate batter.
"That was weird."
"It was."
"He seemed nervous, like he couldn't wait for us to leave ..." she trailed off. "I don't know it was just weird."
"Yeah, you already said that."
She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, if I were you I wouldn't take him up on his offer."
I put the cupcakes in the oven and wiped my hands on a kitchen towel. "What if he's really sorry though? What if he truly feels remorse for what he did?"
"Something's off." Lauren twisted some hair around her fingers, checking for split ends. "He contacted you out of the blue."
"Maybe our visit made him realize he made a mistake."
"Yeah but that was months ago," she pointed out while putting her hair back down. "What made him suddenly change his mind? If he didn't want you back then, why would he want you now?
My forehead furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Obviously he's trying to get something out of it." Her hazel eyes locked with mine. "Think about it, Jade."
"What about second chances?"
"Jade," Lauren shot me a meaningful look. "Something tells me that he's gotten enough of those. That man ran out of second chances."
I pushed my bottom lip against my front teeth in thought. Lauren was right - the timing was off, he was a little too late with his apology. I was grateful that he finally came to his senses but what was he trying to achieve with it? Did he expect me to forgive him? Did he want to rekindle our relationship? Did he want to be back in my life? And more importantly, why now?
"You're probably right," I sighed.
"He wasn't even happy to see you the other day, he looked pissed. He just wanted you gone," she reminded me. "And did you forget about his wife who doesn't even know about your existence? That means something, Jade. It means you're not a part of his life."
My eyes stung with prickling tears.
"Oh shit." Lauren slid off the counter and hugged my arm. "I'm sorry, that was mean. I didn't mean to - "
"No it's okay," I cut her off with a sniff. "You're only being honest. It's just ... truth hurts you know?"
"I just don't want you to get hurt again," she said, her voice soft.
"I know." I used my sleeve to wipe my nose. "What do you think I should do now?"
"Don't reply. If he really means what he said then let him show it to you. Let him prove to you how sorry he really is."
"Okay," I nodded.
She nudged me. "Wanna try out the new nail polish my mom bought me?"
The corner of my mouth turned up slightly. "Sure."
FADED
We ended up painting each other's nails before we got started on decorating the cupcakes. Lauren's grandmother was obsessed with the beach so we chose to use it as our theme.
I caught Lauren licking at the spoon for the umpteenth time and I reached over to smack her hand.
"Lauren stop eating all the frosting!"
"I'm sorry, it's just so good. Where did you learn to make all of this stuff?"
I shrugged. "I used to love reading recipe books when I was younger. And now I mostly watch videos and then I try it out."
"You should become a chef when you're older. Maybe you can open your own restaurant one day. And I can be your sous-chef," she smiled.
I snorted a laugh. "Yeah right, you can't keep your hands to yourself. You'll just eat all my guests' food before it even gets served."
"For the millionth time, it's called tasting." She grabbed a cupcake and took a big bite from it.
"Lauren!"
"Mhmm," she moaned, giving me a thumbs-up. "This one gets a ten out of ten. Do you want me to taste the one with the vanilla buttercream too?"
"NO! You fat ass." I laughed, shoving her away from the cupcakes. "Just stay away."
A few minutes later I was nearly done. I had just finished drawing a sun on one of the cupcakes when my phone started ringing. Taking one look at the caller-id, I picked up after Noah's name flashed on the screen.
"Wassup?"
"Jade, hey you still at Lauren's?"
"Yep." I threw a warning look at my best friend when she was admiring one of the cupcakes a little too closely.
"Tristan called me to pick you up. I'm at Stella's right now, can you like come over? She only lives a couple of blocks away from Lauren. You remember where, right?"
"Yeah I got it."
"Okay, awesome. See you in a bit."
"Yeah, bye." I hung up and stood up to wash my hands. I realized I had spilled some of the frosting on my shorts.
"What happened to your legs?" Lauren suddenly asked.
I stopped scrubbing and glanced at the small cuts on my thighs. Most of them had faded but the ones that were too deep to break the skin had crusted.
"Oh, I was just playing with Marion's cat the other day."
She cocked a single eyebrow. "I though Marion had a dog."
I opened and closed my mouth like a fish gasping for air. "It -it was a stray cat. Yeah, she uh - she has this cat that always comes at her door. She gave it food once and now it won't leave. It's a cute cat."
I was afraid she'd pick up on my lie when we suddenly heard the sound of the front door opening. Lauren's mom walked into the kitchen and smiled brightly when her eyes fell upon us. I was relieved for the distraction.
"Hey girls!" she put her purse on the counter and greeted us both with a hug. "Oh it smells delicious in here."
Lauren showed the cupcakes to her mom. "I helped Jade bake these for grandma."
"Helped?" I chuckled. "More like eaten half of it."
My best friend gave me a fake hurt look. I stuck my tongue out at her.
"They look lovely, Jade," Lauren's mom gushed. "I'm sure my mother will love them. Thanks, hun."
"You're welcome," I smiled. "Anyway, I should get going now."
"You're not gonna stay over for dinner? You still need to teach me how to make that chicken stew."
"I'm sorry Mrs. Nielsen, maybe some other day?"
"Alright darling." She playfully chucked me under the chin. "And it's Nora to you."
"Right," I smiled shyly. I picked up my bag and jacket and pointed at Lauren. "You should probably keep your daughter away from those cupcakes if you want to have some left for your mother."
Mrs. Nielsen laughed. "Oh, I'm already way ahead of you."
"Very funny, Mom," Lauren deadpanned.
"Oh, want me to drop you off?"
"No it's fine. I'm supposed to meet my brother at Stella's."
"Crawford?" she asked. "Such a nice family. I can give you a lift if you want."
"It's only a five minute walk, I'll manage," I told her gratefully. "Anyway, bye Mrs. Niel - uh I mean, Nora."
She winked at me. "Tell your brothers I said hi."
"I will." I turned to my best friend. "See you Monday?"
"Yup!"
I was about to walk off when Lauren suddenly grabbed my hand.
"You know I'm there if you need me," she whispered, mindful of her mother. "I know you're going through a rough time with your mom in rehab and your dad ..."
I bit the inside of my cheek. "Thanks Lauren. For everything."
She squeezed my hand. "Hold on for a sec."
I watched as she scurried off into the direction of the kitchen. While I waited, I put my shoes back on.
I heard her footsteps come closer. "Here."
Getting back to my feet, I couldn't help but smile at the offer. A cupcake. "Wow, thank you."
She swiped her finger over the coating, ruining the sun I had drawn, and put the yellow frosting in her mouth.
"You're unbelievable," I laughed.
FADED
I was fiddling with my iPod, searching for a nice song. Well technically it wasn't mine, it was Ashton's, but he always stole my headphones so two could play at that game. I had taken a bite of the cupcake and not to brag or anything, but my baking skills were off the charts. Rounding a corner, I suddenly heard the screech of a brake. I whirled around just in time to see a bike take a sharp turn into a street. I didn't catch the person riding it, I only managed to distinguish the red color of the frame.
Not thinking much of it, I continued my walk. I took another bite of the cupcake, absentmindedly humming to the song blaring through my headphones. I made sure the coast was safe before I crossed the street when I suddenly caught a glimpse of the same red bike. It was gone before I could get a second look.
I lowered the volume on the iPod, feeling the need to be vigilant. I kept my head up, my eyes scanning the neighborhood. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. I had been paranoid since that nightmare, I was officially going crazy. It was probably nothing.
Then why did it feel like I was being followed?
I patted my pockets with my empty hand, wondering where the hell I had put my phone. I didn't forget it at Lauren's, I was sure of it. I slowed my pace and reached for my backpack. It had to be in there somewhere.
I wasn't looking where I was going when I suddenly bumped into someone.
"Oh shit, I'm so sorry - " I trailed off when I noticed the red bike in front of me.
"Hey."
The voice made me look up at the owner of the bike and I gulped.
"You're that girl from the ice cream shop," he grinned, leaning back on his saddle, keeping one hand on the handle bar. "Sorry about the incident. You seemed really shaken up about it."
I couldn't get my tongue to move to make any words, so I just scrambled to get my backpack over my shoulders again. My feet moved to get away - that was the only thing on my mind at that moment, I just needed to get away.
His hand suddenly latched onto my wrist and my eyes briefly widened in alarm.
"I'm not gonna bite you know," he joked. "What's your name?"
I breathed through my nose, trying to keep calm. "I-I'm sorry, I need to go."
He pulled me back and shot me a smile which looked so out of place on his hard face. "I'm not letting you go until I can put a name on your pretty face."
"J-Jade."
"Jade," he echoed with an appreciative nod and I didn't like the way my name rolled off his tongue. "I'm Dante."
"Nice to meet you, Dante," I said. "Listen, I really need to go - "
"Hold up."
I winced when his fingers tightened around my wrist.
"Sorry I saw you and I just wanted to apologize for what happened the other day."
My lips twitched as I forced a small smile. "Don't worry about it."
His nails dug into my skin when he felt me pulling away again. I sucked in a breath when pain shot through my wrist. He didn't look like he noticed at all.
"It was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, I just wanted to help that's all."
"I-I know. I'm sorry if I seemed ungrateful," I rushed out through trembling lips.
His white-toothed smile shone brightly between his lips and I suppressed a shudder. "And I'm sorry for calling you a bitch."
My ears thumped, I could hear the rush of my own blood coursing through my veins. I was dangerously aware of how he still wasn't letting go of me. I vaguely tried to take a look around but my heart dropped when I noticed the streets were empty. I felt trapped.
When I glanced back at him, I tensed up when his eyes were lingering on my legs. Damn Ashton, I should've listened to him.
He caught me watching him and I thought he'd apologize or fluster but he only smirked.
I yanked at my hand but his hold tightened and I whimpered in pain. His fingers were crushing me.
"Y-you're hurting me."
He held my eyes for a few seconds longer before he suddenly released me. I staggered, nearly tripping over my own feet.
His smoldering eyes zoned in on my mouth. "You got something, uh - "
Before I could understand what he was doing, his thumb suddenly swiped the corner of my lips. My breath was caught in my throat when I watched him suck his thumb.
"Mhmm, vanilla frosting. Sweet."
What. The. Fuck.
He put his hands back on the handlebars of his bike. "See you around, Jade."
I was once again nailed to the ground, unable to move or make a noise. I hated how my body reacted to fear, I would freeze and turn into a mute. I should've fought, I should've kicked him in the balls like Tristan had thought me, I should've socked him in the face. But instead I was just paralyzed like a pathetic idiot.
The rest of the walk to Stella's, I couldn't stop but check behind me every few seconds. I had to make fists to stop my hands from shaking. I was still reeling from the encounter with Dante and I didn't want it to show - the last thing I needed was Noah asking questions. He always had a knack for seeing right through me.
I took a deep breath in order to collect myself before I knocked on the front door. I could hear music blasting from the inside and loud chatter. Great, more people, that's exactly what I wanted right now.
The door opened and Stella's face instantly lit up. "Jade!"
She grabbed me in a warm hug, taking me off guard. Not wanting to be disrespectful, I momentarily hugged her back.
"Come in, come in." She ushered me inside and the effect of people shouting and laughing hit me full force. Stella noticed I was overwhelmed. "Don't worry, it's just some friends from school. I told them to be quiet but you know how boys are, I swear I wish there was like a mute button on them."
I managed to let out a little chuckle just to please her. She didn't pick up on my nervous state and quickly led me outside where everyone else was. I only recognized some of my brother's friends, the rest of them were sophomores.
"Noah!" Stella suddenly shouted, almost making me jump out of my skin. "Your sister's here!"
My brother was playing a game of basketball with a few other boys. They were split in two teams, the shirts and skins, Noah was in the latter. He swept his sweaty hair out of his face and shot me a smile when he caught my eye.
"I'll be right there, just let me finish the game, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," I brushed off.
Stella turned to face me. "Want something to drink? Maybe something sugary, you look a bit pale."
I cleared my throat. "A coke is just fine."
Her concerned eyes searched mine. "You okay?"
"Uhu," I nodded quickly.
She lingered around me for a little bit longer and I offered another smile, insisting I was fine. She seemed appeased and went off to get me a drink.
I felt uneasy being surrounded by all these people I didn't know. I probably stuck out like a sore thumb, being the only thirteen year old girl surrounded by all these sixteen year olds.
Two girls were sitting at a table and smiled at me. One of them waved me over and offered me to sit on an empty lawn chair.
"Thanks," I said.
"I'm Cora," the one with the black curls introduced herself. "And this is Lauren."
I looked at the other girl and thought it was kinda funny how she had the exact same shade of blonde hair and eye color as Lauren, my best friend. Maybe this is how Lauren will look like in a few years, she sure did look pretty.
"I'm Jade," I half-smiled.
"You're the one that nearly drowned, right?" Cora questioned.
"Yeah," I blushed and dropped my head to pull at a loose thread on my shorts.
"Here you go!" Stella beamed, putting down a can of coke in front of me.
I mumbled another thanks and took a sip from the cold drink, the condensation wetted my hand. I looked over at the boys playing basketball when I heard them cheer. Apparently my brother's team had scored.
"You look a lot like your brother," Lauren said, bringing me out of my thoughts. Her eyes were smiling. "Good looks run in the family apparently. You guys hit the jackpot." She turned to Stella and chuckled. "And lucky you for snagging the cute one."
Stella patted herself on her shoulder and giggled, "I know right."
"I like the other one," Cora started, "The one who beat up Evan Kelly last year? I heard he got a concussion and needed thirteen stitches to his face."
I winced. "You mean Ashton."
"Mhmm," she looked dreamily into the distance.
Stella laughed at her friend's face. "Cora, oh my god. Your boyfriend's literally right over there."
"So?"
I heard my phone buzz and put my drink down to fetch it. I rummaged through my backpack until I eventually found the stupid device. I opened it and saw I had received another text message from my dad.
'Jade, I understand if you're ignoring me but can we talk? Please?'
I was tempted to reply but then I remembered what Lauren had said. I closed the conversation and put my phone away. My stomach was still tied up in knots, I couldn't get Dante's face out of my head. I felt disgusted just thinking at the way he looked at me or how he licked the frosting off his finger. I was about to take another sip of my drink but my hands were shaking again so I trapped them between my legs instead.
I focused on the game to distract myself when someone took a seat next to me. I briefly looked up to see a dark haired boy, probably one of Noah's friends, and shot him a quick, friendly smile.
"Jade, right?"
I realized he was talking to me and nodded.
"Jason," he smiled.
Yup definitely one of Noah's friends, I remember my brother mentioning him once or twice.
"We met once."
Oh he was still talking to me?
"We did?"
He nodded. "Yeah, last year. You and your brother, the one who's a cop, came to my house to pick up Noah."
"Oh," I said. "I don't remember ..."
"You've changed."
I slowly turned to look at him. "Excuse me?"
"Jesus, Jason," Cora suddenly spoke. "She's still a kid."
He glared at her. "What? I didn't say anything wrong."
Lauren snorted into her glass of water. "Then stop looking at her like that."
"Shut the fuck up, Lauren."
"Hey!" Stella interjected. "Knock it off. Jason, why don't you just go and leave Jade alone."
"Hey, what's going on?" Noah panted. He used his own t-shirt to wipe off the sweat on his chest.
"Jason's hitting on your baby sister," Cora said.
Noah's head snapped to the boy sitting next to me. "Dude, what the fuck?"
Jason got up on his feet, taking a defensive stance. "Yo man, she's lying. I just told her she had changed."
My brother moved to stand right in front of him, his shoulders squared, his face hard. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
Jason clenched his jaw but didn't back off. "I only meant that she looked olde-"
"Jason," Stella abruptly cut him off. "I'm gonna stop you right there if you wanna live along enough to see the day."
"No, I wanna hear it," Noah stated, throwing him a challenging look. "Go on then. Say it."
"I was just joking dude." Jason nervously licked his lips.
Noah shoved him hard in the chest causing him to crash against the wall. "Say it."
Jason put his arms out. "Calm down - "
But my brother wouldn't have it and pushed him again. "Fucking say it!"
"Noah, stop!" Stella jumped between the two and shoved my brother away. "Stop it."
Noah's teeth clenched and I thought if he put any more pressure on his jaw it would snap.
"She's thirteen you sick fuck," he spat.
Jason gave me a quick once-over, his lips twitched in a tiny little smile, you could've easily missed it but I saw it. "I can tell."
I let out a surprised scream when my brother suddenly lunged at him. Cora reached out to me and pushed me out of harm's way. I saw Noah landing on top of Jason but before he could actually put his fists to use, two other boys intervened by grabbing him and pulling him off.
"Jason, get the hell out of my house!" Stella shouted over the commotion.
Jason used the wall to get back up again and spat out some blood, his tongue wetting his split lip. Maybe Noah did get a chance to punch him after all. Without another word, he grabbed his stuff and left.
"Get the fuck off of me," Noah growled at his friends still holding him back. They eventually let him go and I watched as Stella went over to him, asking him if he was okay.
I wasn't aware I was breathing so hard until I felt Cora rub my shoulder from behind. I swallowed past the lump in my throat, still a little dazed. Noah was saying something to Stella, he sounded angry but I couldn't make out the words. I was too shocked about what had happened - I never saw Noah get into a fight before, like ever. Ashton, yes. Tristan, yes. Hell, I even saw Jordan get into a fight or two but never Noah. He always seemed so collected and chill about everything. I didn't think he could snap like that.
"Jade, let's go."
I blinked, cutting my own train of thoughts and saw him put his t-shirt back on.
Stella offered me a comforting smile. "Sorry," she mouthed.
I picked up my backpack and followed my brother out to the car, ignoring everyone else.
"Noah, you okay?" I eventually asked when we made it outside.
"I'm fine," he mumbled. "Just hurry up." He reached out to grab my hand but ended up taking my wrist instead.
"OW!" I cried in pain.
"What?" He instantly released me. "I barely touched you. C'mon let's go."
I cradled my wrist against my stomach and quickly got inside the car. The drive was quiet, the tension was so palpable I could almost taste it. My hands had yet to stop shaking, so this time I pulled my sleeves over my fists in an attempt to hide it.
Once in a while I'd glance at Noah through the corner of my eyes and I'd see how he would still grind his teeth. That comment Jason made really got to him. I didn't realize it affected him this much.
"I'm sorry," he suddenly said, breaking the silence. "I lost my cool, it won't happen again."
"He didn't really mean it, he was just being stupid."
"I don't care, you don't joke about that kinda stuff," he claimed. "It's wrong."
I reached out to smooth out a crease in his t-shirt. "You okay?"
"Yeah." He barely nodded. "I just -"
I cocked my head and prompted, "You just what?"
"I don't know," he breathed heavily through his nose. "I can't stop thinking about mom and those pictures and those guys that bought ... When Jason looked at you like that, I just lost it. Like I said, it won't happen again. I promise."
Guilt washed over me. All this time I only thought about myself - about my feelings, my dignity, my innocence. I never once stopped to think about how all of this affected him. The despicable things my mother did to me, indirectly affected him too. And I felt like the worst sister on the planet for acting so selfishly.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry."
FADED
It was nearly nine pm and I was bored out of my mind - Noah was on his Xbox playing games, Tristan was with Lily and Ashton went out to god knows where. So I decided to go through all my clothes and get rid of the stuff I didn't want anymore. I made two piles, one for the clothes I wanted to keep and the other to throw away or donate.
A knock sounded on my open door and I looked up to see Jordan walk inside my room. He looked worn and exhausted. I could tell he was under a lot of stress and pressure by the creases on his forehead and his tense posture.
"Hey sweetheart."
"Hey, I thought you said you'd be home for dinner."
"I know, something came up." He grunted when he sat down next to me on the floor. He stretched out his legs in front of him, kicking away some of my clothes before grabbing my waist. "C'mere."
I shifted closer to him so he could wrap his arm around me. He planted two kisses on the side of my face, his stubble grazing my cheek.
"I made some lasagna. I hid your plate in the oven 'cause Ashton couldn't keep his greedy hands off of it."
"Thanks, baby." He snorted out a little laugh, dipping his nose in my hair. "How was your day? Did you have fun at Lauren's?"
"Hmm," I nodded, keeping my attention on folding some of my tops. I needed to change the subject. "How was your day?"
His chest expanded as he took in a deep breath before releasing it with a huff. "It was rough. There was a shoot-out at some store, a kid was hit. He was only sixteen, just like Noah. The poor guy didn't make it."
"That's awful."
"Mhmm," he hummed against the top of my head, clearly not in the mood to say more. It was funny how he would always push us to talk about our thoughts and feelings while he liked to bottle everything up. "Watcha doing?"
"Oh, I'm getting rid of the stuff that don't fit me anymore." I grabbed a skirt, inspected it closely before throwing it on the second pile. "I'm thinking about donating them to that shelter downtown."
"That's nice of you," he commented when something caught his eye. "You throwing away those blue shorts? I thought you loved them."
I looked at the shorts I had worn earlier that day. The same shorts Ashton thought were 'too revealing'. The same shorts that made me receive unwanted attention twice. I was never gonna wear those again.
"They're too short," I said.
"If you continue at this rate, you're gonna have nothing left anymore. How about we got to the mall next week?"
"The mall?" I wrinkled my nose thinking about the last time I had set foot inside the mall. I'll never forget what my mother had put me through.
"You're gonna be fine," Jordan sounded amused as he read the expression on my face. He looked at the radio sitting on my desk and frowned. "What are you listening to?"
"Oh," I smiled shyly. "It's Preston's mixtape. He gave it to me for my birthday. It's just different songs he covered with his guitar."
He listened some more and nodded, a little impressed. "Not bad."
"He says he'll teach me one day. Isn't that cool?"
Jordan looked down at me, studying me closely, it made me feel a bit nervous. "So Preston, huh? Sounds like you two get along, I thought you used to hate him."
"I got to know him better. I guess he's not that bad after all."
"So you two you just friends or ..."
I gave him a weird look. "What?"
"Nothing," he shrugged. "Just making sure."
I dropped the clothes in my lap and turned to face him properly. "What?"
He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Just making sure you're just friends and nothing more."
"Jordan, what the hell?" My cheeks were on fire, I was mortified.
"Language," he warned.
I pushed his arm off my shoulder. "Why would you say that?"
"Jade, lighten up. I wasn't assuming anything, I just couldn't help but notice how close you two got the past few months. Is it that wrong for me to think there might be something more behind it?"
"Yes," I shot back. "Since when can't I have male friends?"
"Since you reached a certain age where boys don't befriend girls without expecting anything out of it." He lifted up his hand to tuck some hair behind my ear but I leaned away.
"Well, you're wrong," I stated firmly. "He doesn't have any feelings for me and neither do I."
Then why did it sound like I was in denial? No, Jade, you're just a pubescent girl and your stupid hormones are all over the place, you don't know how you feel.
"Alright, if you say so," Jordan gave in. "I'm sorry if I jumped to conclusions and I'm sorry if I offended you."
I didn't say anything and went back to folding my clothes.
"Hey," his fingers tickled my neck.
"Stop," I whined.
"I'll stop if you stop being mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you," I mumbled under my breath.
"You don't sound like it," he snorted and tickled me again.
"Jordan!" I cracked a little smile but quickly fixed a scowl on my face again.
Jordan caught me slip though and suddenly grabbed me, pulling me into his lap. He trapped my arms against my chest with one hand and used the other to tickle my sides. I squealed out in laughter, squirming in his hold.
"You still mad at me?" he asked again, his eyes twinkling in mischief.
"M-maybe," I chuckled.
"You little brat."
I burst into a fit of giggles when his hand slid under my t-shirt, tickling at my stomach and ribs.
FADED
Next day was Sunday, also known as lazy day. Usually Sundays we would work out and exercise but since Tristan broke up with Penny, we no longer kept the tradition. And I was more than grateful for it but of course my family never sat still. They always found something to make me work on. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and Tristan had the wonderful idea of washing the cars.
Yay.
Lily was helping Tristan wash his car and I was helping Ashton wash his friend's.
I was handling the inside of the car, throwing away stuff he didn't need. Ashton's car he shared with his friend was a pigsty and that was putting it lightly. The deeper I dug into the trash, the more I found.
My nose wrinkled when my hand landed on a paper bag stuffed under the driver's seat. I took it out, opened it and instantly gagged at the content.
"This is so gross."
Ashton stuck his head through the open door. "What is it?"
"A moldy hamburger."
"Oh." He took it from me and opened the bag to take a sniff.
I pulled a face. "What are you doing?"
"Just checking if it's still edible," he said as a matter of fact.
I was speechless, beyond disgusted. The thing smelled like death and he still needed to check?
Ashton let out a hearty laugh and lifted up my chin. "Close your mouth, you're gonna catch flies."
"No you're gonna catch flies," I countered.
I got back to the mess - so far I had found eleven cigarette butts, empty cans and bottles, keys to god knows what, pills for god knows what, more moldy food, my old sunglasses, parking tickets, oh my god Noah's old Pokémon cards, handcuffs (I didn't even wanna know), money, a bra (I didn't wanna know about that either), oh and a ...
"EWWWWW!"
I flew out of the car, jumping around in disgust.
"What is it now?" Ashton asked with a roll of his eyes.
"I think I'm gonna throw up."
Ashton took a look at where I was pointing. He dug his fingers between the seats in the back. A few seconds later he reappeared with a used condom dangling between his fingers.
"A little souvenir from a wild trip," he commented with a dirty smirk. "You might wanna keep an eye out for more."
"That's it," I huffed. "Let's switch. You do the interior and I'll do the exterior."
"No way, last time you washed my car, you scratched it."
"I'm not gonna scratch your precious stupid car, Ash. Now either you do it my way or I won't help you at all."
"Fine." He threw the condom away and wiped his hands on the front of his jeans. "Since when did you get all bossy?"
I fixed my ponytail. "Uh, I'm not bossy."
"Uh, yes you are," he sassed in an exaggerated, girly version of my voice. I did not sound like that. "But it's alright, I'll just blame your attitude on 'puberty'."
"Fine. What's your excuse?"
"Ah ha." He formed a gun with his fingers and clicked his tongue. "Touché."
"Is it hot in here or is it just me?" Lily puffed, putting a knot in her tank top, exposing her pierced belly button.
"Just you babe," Tristan commented, shooting her a wink.
He was shirtless, his tattoo of my name in full view. He was in the middle of rinsing his car, his bare skin glistening with sweat or water, I didn't even wanna know.
Lily seemed to enjoy the view and didn't even try to hide it. "The things I wanna do to you right now."
"TMI, Lily," Ashton smirked. "You're thinking out loud again."
"Oops," she smiled cheekily. She watched me fill a bucket with water and pointed at my long sleeved shirt. "How are you not sweating like a pig right now?"
I shrugged. "It's not that bad."
"Alright," she heaved out a heavy sigh, fanning herself with her hand. "I need to pick up my sister at the airport in an hour so I should probably go." She turned to me and gave me a quick hug. "Bye Jade. Bye Ash."
"See ya," was his muffled reply from somewhere in the car.
She locked eyes with Tristan and gave him a sultry smile before meeting him with a kiss. There was way too much tongue and touching and moaning involved for my liking so I looked away. After another full minute Lily finally managed to detach herself from my brother's lips and left.
I was in the middle of soaping up the car when a sudden cold gush of water wet me from head to toe. I let out a big gasp, spluttering incoherent words. Laughter could be heard from behind me and I dropped the sponge to confront my attacker.
Noah was grinning from ear to ear with the garden hose in his hand.
I was fuming. "NOAH!"
Tristan was chuckling. "I think you missed a spot, bud. Right there, on her face."
Before I could protest, another burst of water hit me full force. I closed my eyes and held up my hands before me.
"Stop it!" I tried to hide behind the cars but Noah simply followed me with the hose, laughing all the way. "Noah, knock it off!"
He finally stopped and I shivered when I felt a soft wind breeze through my damp hair. I rubbed the water out of my eyes and picked up my head when I heard Ashton curse out loud.
I couldn't help but giggle when I realized Noah had gotten him too.
"Noah, you piece of shit! You're dead," he growled, going after him.
Noah laughed as he tried to run off, using the hose as his weapon. As if water ever stopped Ashton from catching him before.
Tristan caught my attention as he pointed his own hose at me. He didn't even give me time to escape and I sucked in another sharp breath of surprise when the cool water washed over me.
"Tristan! Come on!" I tried to flee but he was too fast and caught me around the waist. I squealed out when the water sprayed me again. I eventually managed to slip out of his hold but I didn't make it far when his hand suddenly circled my wrist.
White hot pain radiated through my skin and I didn't realize I had yelled out until I found all my brothers gather around me in concern.
"Oh shit babe, I'm so sorry," Tristan started apologizing. "Let me see."
"No, no," I shook my head, letting my wet curls cling to the side of my face. "It's fine, you just startled me."
"It sounded pretty painful. Give me your hand."
"I said it was fine." I pulled away from him, hugging my wrist against my chest. "I'm just gonna put some ice on it."
I was about to walk off when Ashton grabbed my other wrist, swinging me back. It happened so fast and I didn't even realize he had pushed my sleeve up until I heard them all gasp.
"Holy shit," Noah exclaimed, dropping the hose, eyes wide in shock.
"What the fuck," Tristan whispered to himself. He gingerly trailed his fingertips over the bruise.
I had woken up this morning with a sore wrist and when I had taken a look at it, I was unprepared for the gruesome sight. The bruise went around my wrist, an ugly purple and yellow color. If you squinted your eyes, you could perfectly make out the outline of a hand wrapped around my wrist.
"That can't be from today," Ashton spoke up, frantically running both hands through his wet hair. "Trust me I know everything about bruises, this one's at least a day old."
Tristan's gaze panned to my face, searching for answers. "Jade, who did this?"
I didn't answer but did try to get my hand back.
Tristan held onto my arm, not letting go. "Answer me. Who did this to you?"
"No one," I mumbled, trying to keep the tears at bay.
"Who!?" he snapped through gritted teeth causing me to flinch. Tristan was known for having a short fuse and I rarely saw him get this close to losing his shit because usually I wasn't at the receiving end of his wrath.
"Jade, stop fucking around. Just tell us who it was," Ashton ordered, clearly not happy about this either.
I was about to speak when a car pulled up at our driveway. Jordan switched off the engine and closed the door behind him. Great. He took in his surroundings, raising an eyebrow at the mess we made. When he found us near the garage, it was obvious he wanted to ask why we were all drenched but then he saw the hoses and I could tell he put two and two together.
"What's going on?" he asked as he walked closer to us.
I tried to free my arm but Tristan still wasn't letting go. He gestured at my wrist and Jordan's face fell.
"What the hell is that?" he nearly shouted. He dropped to his knee and gently grabbed my hand. There was no point in fighting them anymore, the cat was already out the bag.
"She won't tell us who did it." Ashton's arms folded over his chest, his wet t-shirt clung to his skin, accentuating his taut muscles. Not a lot of people knew this but the only reason my brother ever crossed his arms is to not punch the nearest thing to him, which said a lot about the level of anger he had reached.
"Was it me?" Noah's questioning eyes flickered between mine, guilt was etched onto his face. "When I grabbed you yesterday you - "
"No, no," I quickly interjected. "It wasn't you Noah, I promise ... it happened before that."
Tristan's nostrils were flaring as he tried to contain his fury. "Jade, I swear to god if you don't give me a name right now, so help me god."
I gave in. "It was Dante."
"Who's Dante?" they all chorused at the same time.
"I don't know. Just some boy." I swallowed hard.
"What does he look like?" Ashton wanted to know.
"Brown hair, brown eyes. He looks older, probably fifteen or sixteen."
"Have you seen him before?"
I shook my head. "I only ever met him twice."
"When?" Jordan pressed.
"Last week, at the ice cream shop. And - and yesterday."
"He's the one that gave you the bruise?" Jordan questioned, his thumb stroking my wrist.
I nodded. "He - he uhm wanted to apologize for what happened the other day, at the ice cream shop. He was acting weird and I tried to go but he, he wouldn't let me."
"Did he touch you?" Ashton cut in. "Other than your wrist, did he touch you somewhere else?"
I bit my lip as I watched how a single drop of water dangled at the tip of his hair before it gradually slid down the length of his neck.
"Jade," Tristan's voice was stern. "Did he touch you?"
My breath hitched.
"Oh, god," Jordan sighed, running both hands down his face.
"Where?" Ashton demanded. "Where the fuck did he touch you, Jade. You better answer this one."
I dropped my gaze to my slippers. "My legs." I ignored the different curses coming out of their mouths. "He bumped into me and he spilt some of his milkshake on my lap. H-he was trying to help me clean up a-and I-I freaked out. I don't know, I don't know why, it just felt uncomfortable and wrong." I took a shaky breath, not realizing I was crying until Jordan brushed my cheek.
"That was the day you got the nightmare." The way Tristan said it, it didn't sound like a question but more like a fact.
"Fucking knew it," Ashton muttered under his breath.
"Why didn't you say something?" I had forgotten Noah was there until I heard his voice.
"I don't know," I muttered timidly, sniffing back some tears.
Jordan who was still crouched next to me, raised his hands to cup my face. "Jade, baby, you can't keep stuff like that from us. You know how dangerous this is? What if next time he sees you, he does something worse? You can get seriously hurt. Do you understand that?"
"I know, I'm sorry," I sobbed through trembling lips.
"Yeah you should be sorry," Tristan pointed out with a firm tone. "Shit like that happens, you instantly come to us and tell us. Would you have told us about him if we hadn't discovered about the bruise?"
I didn't want to lie so I thought it was best to shut my mouth.
"Jesus," he breathed, rubbing his forehead. "Nothing good comes out of keeping secrets. You should know after what happened with the drugs."
I sniffed. "You keep secrets from me all the time."
Jordan exchanged a quick glance with Tristan and cleared his throat. "That's different sweetheart."
"How?"
He licked his lips, searching for the right words. "We're trying to protect you."
"He's right," Tristan continued. "Keep in mind that we only keep certain things to ourselves because we know that it can get you hurt."
"Like mom selling pictures of her?" Noah asked.
Ashton scoffed. "Oh that's not even half of it."
"Ash," Jordan warned.
"What we're trying to say," Tristan picked up where he left off, "is that there's a difference. The secrets we keep are stuff that are better left unknown, but what happened with Dante wasn't like that, baby girl. You should have told us about it. We try really hard to protect you, you know that? We can't have you keep shit like that to yourself. That's not a risk we can afford to take. Does that make sense to you?"
I nodded, feeling another fresh set of tears roll down my cheeks.
Tristan cupped the back of my neck and pulled me in for a hug. He repeatedly kissed my temple and the crown of my head, mumbling sweet nothings. We were both still soaking wet and I shivered when goosebumps tickled my skin.
Jordan grunted as he straightened up. His warm handed landed on my back. "Let's go get you dried up."
I was about to go inside but froze when I heard a loud crack. I turned just in time to see Noah hold Ashton's bloody fist before he could punch the wall again.
"Don't mind him, he'll be fine," Tristan reassured me, pulling me along.
A/N: vote, comment, follow (I only need three more to get to 400) - I'll be forever grateful!!!!!!!!!!
Happy holidays xxx