"Are you sure, Somi?" Hana questioned. The two girls were currently sitting cross legged on her bed discussing Project Taegguk. Hana still couldn't believe it was her brother. She's always thought he was a straight as ruler, but a lot of rulers can bend after all.
"Every time I mention a guy, he never cares, but the time I mentioned, V, he freaked. He also hates girls, I even said you liked him an–."
"You bitch!" Hana cut in, slapping her friends arm. "I don't like your brother! I have a boyfriend. Why'd you tell him that?"
"If you didn't know, you're a fucking goddess. Good looks must run in the family, jeez. Who in their right mind would reject you?"
Hana rolled her eyes. "And the only possible explanation is that's he's into males?"
The girl began vigorously shaking her head. "No Hana! I mean, yes, but I have more solid support. I saw it! With my own two eyes! They kissed! I know! For sure! Sure it was a through a very small peep hole, but I'm sure!"
"You're sure you're not just delusional?"
Before Somi could begin to present a whole essay, they heard footsteps followed by Mr. Jeon's loud voice telling Jeongguk that they needed to have the discussion from before. Somi quickly indicated Hana to come out of the room quietly. The two girls watched Jeongguk ignore his dad and his yells as he walked up the stairs. Somi was a little surprised, he's never disobeyed their father before.
"Hey, Gguk..." Somi called out when he reached the top, but when he gave her a sharp glare, her voice went quiet. "Where's Taehyung?"
Jeongguk shook his head and sneered. He looked his sister dead in the eye, before turning and proceeded to walk into his room and slammed the door as loud as he possible could. Somi was shocked. Never had he ever been this disrespectful or angry. His look wasn't annoyed or playful in the sense that he was just ignoring the girl for fun, he was serious and that made chills run down the two.
His attitude made Somi mad in return. "That fucker," she said, rolling up her sleeves ready to walk over to his room and give him a piece of her mind, but was stopped by Hana. "Something must've happened with Tae, maybe a fight. Leave him alone for now."
Somi sighed out loudly, trying to cool herself down. Then suddenly, they heard the loud crash. Jeongguk was breaking things. It hadn't happened in a while. It only ever happens when he is upset with himself or his dad. They heard yelling proceed right after it, loud and long screams. Mr. Jeon could just sigh and ignore it, but Somi definitely couldn't. She wanted to so badly stop him and ask him what was wrong, but she knew better. Jeongguk was the kind of person who can only be cooled off when his mind was blank. Breaking things were his method of doing so whenever it got too wild and out of hand.
Jeongguk was in the middle of pulling at his hair when he got a call. When he fished it out to see Taehyung's number, his anger only got heavier. The red-head threw the phone at his wall with all his strength. Not only did he probably have a cracked phone now, he also had a huge dent in his wall. It was all driving Jeongguk crazy, so crazy he wanted to make himself believe it was because he has gone crazy. Don't all crazy people break things? He wishes to be admitted into whatever hospital and receive the treatment for him to stop going insane.
When those few words left Taehyung's mouth at the campfire earlier, it felt like he had finally woken up from something in between a dream and a nightmare, only to realize it was reality. A reality Jeongguk so desperately needed to change. A man liking another man is not new, but it's not very accepted either. Jeongguk can just come to terms with the possibility of him being gay.
No, he is straight, for sure. Kissing Taehyung meant nothing and only happened because he was feeling off. Just all a mistakes. But things are deemed mistakes when something wrong is done. How can it be a mistake when kissing Kim Taehyung felt so right? Jeongguk felt loved for and cared even during their agressive make-outs. It made him feel wanted and important, as if Taehyung had actual feelings for him. Now that's a thought he hadn't crossed yet. Taehyung asked him to be his boyfriend. His boyfriend! Someone out there actually wanted to give him love, but Jeongguk just pushed it away.
He had a reason to do so. He had many questions on it, most of which was if it was all just some sick joke Taehyung was playing with his friends, it all began from a bet to be fair, or if Taehyung would leave him once he realized how absurd he sounds. Jeongguk hates rejection. He despises putting love into something and not receiving the same amount back. All his childhood he'd seen his mother run around his busy father who would do so much as spare a glance at her only to say he had no time for her nonsense. Of course he had no time, he was too busy meeting another women behind her back.
Jeongguk was just very... confused. He needed time. Time to clear his head, get some sleep, and then he can think of everything. "Time..." the red-head mumbled, while slowly sliding down to the ground. He wanted to scream some more, but he just had no energy. He laid his head back against his sofa, and closed his eyes, doing his best to force his mind to shut down.
•—•—•
The next day, Jeongguk arrived to school late. Not because he slept in, he actually woke up in a cold sweat at four in the morning dreaming of doing some not so holy things with Taehyung then having a huge fight involving fists. The dream scared the red-head, so he had purposely waited for time to pass just to make sure there wouldn't even be the slightest chance of seeing Taehyung. Yet, here they were, both standing outside the parking lot door late for the same reasons.
Jeongguk wanted to run away as soon as he spotted Taehyung leaning against the door texting someone to probably come open it for him. He wanted to turn his back and leave, but Taehyung had beat him to it. As soon as their eyes met, the older sighed and straightened up his body. After thinking for a couple seconds, he shoved his hand into his pockets and walked out of the parking and to the front gate without sparing Jeongguk another glance. Taehyung would rather have detention then be stuck in such a situation.
Jeongguk only felt like throwing and hitting more things after that. He kicked the door so hard, a teacher passing by had heard. Luckily, the teacher let it slip and didn't write him up. Maybe the poor man got scared seeing the fuming boy who seemed to be ready to rip apart anything in sight.
The boy entered his second period physics class, the students and teacher froze at the sight. His eyes were so dull, so menacing, piercing through anyone who dared make contact.
"Mr. Jeon, just on time. Sit down, I'm handing out the tests," Ms. Nam said, holding up the pile of papers in her hand.
"Test?" Jeongguk questioned, but suddenly remembered the test that was mentioned two weeks before. He was screwed. The boy had completely forgotten about the test. Even if he had studied, he didn't seem to be in the right state to be writing one. He walked over to his seat at the back, not answering to any of the greetings or questions of his two friends (who had both quit the group but were trying to keep on good terms with the boy).
Jeongguk tried to concentrate on the questions, but nothing came. He'd tried to recall what he learned in class, but there wasn't a lot of that. The boy couldn't remember a single thing he had read from his textbook and practised all those late nights. Thoughts of Taehyung clouded his mind, and no matter how much he tried to throw them away, the task was just impossible. He had to rack his brain out to even think of what to answer for the first question. This lead the frustrated boy to just bubble in whatever felt right. Before he knew it, he only had ten minutes. Now did he realize he hadn't even written his names, which took about three tries. Today just wasn't Jeongguk's day. He slammed the pencil down hard on his desk, startling everyone. He still had five minutes left, but he decided there was no use. Jeongguk admitted defeat.
He felt so mad at himself for letting a boy get in his way. Jeongguk just couldn't let the the face Taehyung had made when he saw him earlier. A mixture of pain, disgust, and anger. He just felt so guilty. No matter how much he tried to put the blame on Taehyung, he did nothing wrong. Everything was consensual, both boys had invested as much into it. It was Jeongguk who gave the other false hope. It's not that he even meant to play with his feelings, the red-head just didn't realize feelings were getting involved.
The bell snapped him out of his thoughts. Bubble sheets were collected, and Jeongguk never wanted to look at them again. He left the classroom with what he's wanted since the past night, a clear head. He walked mindlessly until he bumped into someone.
"Sorry," the first year boy apologized quietly while looking down.
"Look up when you're apologizing to someone," Jeongguk growled louder than intended, catching everyone's attention. It's been a while since the school's bad boy snapped at someone with such tone. Without letting the younger peep out another word, Jeongguk pushed past him. He had noticed a certain pair of eyes had also seen the acts. As soon as they made contact, Taehyung looked back at Jimin and began laughing at something he must've said. Here Jeongguk was, thinking he had absolutely destroyed the boy when he left him alone. With a scoff, the red-head walked off to find his friends.
"What're you laughing at? I'm asking you how it went with Jeon," Jimin said confused.
Taehyung stopped laughing once he saw the red-head was out of sight. He doesn't know why he did so, but something in him didn't want Jeongguk to see how crushed he was by all that had happened. With a sad sigh, Taehyung told Jimin he'd tell him when all the guys were around. He really did not feel like repeating the same story five times and cause his heart more pain than it could handle.
•—•—•
"You good, bro? You've been out of it the whole day," Minki inquired. School had just ended, and the boys were on their way home. They originally wanted to hangout, but Jeongguk had cancelled it all.
"Have you seen Tae, the guy didn't even look at me in class. Thought he'd come find us."
"How would I know?" Jeongguk was quick to snap harshly.
Saejoon backed away with his arms in the air. "Woah, calm down Gguk, you two have just been spending a lot of time together. Thought y'all were some kind of best friends now."
"Pft, whatever. I'm going home."
The three boys watched with confusion as he walked off. It's not the first time they had seen the boy so irked, but it was the first he hadn't told them why or planned on how he could get revenge on the people that were the cause of this.
Once Jeongguk arrived home, he was greeted with the attention-seeking coughs of his father. He'd come home way too early, making him wonder if he'd gone to work at all.
"Good after-noon father. You're early today."
"So are you. Remember the discussion we needed to have?"
Jeongguk bit the insides of his cheek. He didn't know if he should apologize for walking away from him the previous night, or if the two had some kind of silent agreement to forget about it all. He didn't to go with the second option. "Is there something wrong?"
"Yes. A lot of things have been wrong. Let's start with this first," Mr. Jeon started, placing a sheet of paper in front of Jeongguk. They were test scores for all the students in his class, including his. He didn't even know they be released so fast, but it a machine's work after all. His eyes scanned for his name, and his score was a bit higher than what he expected, thirteen out of eighty-seven questions right.
"How did you get these?"
"That does not matter. What matters is that you just failed that. A Jeon never, and I say never, fails."
Jeongguk remained silent.
"God, is this all some kind of rebelling act." Mr. Jeon chuckled, crossing his arms together. "Who am I kidding? You've been rebelling for quite a while, haven't you?"
"I don't know what you m—"
"Is this because of dance club? Or maybe that stupid boy? What's his name? Kim Taehyung?"
Jeongguk's eyes went wide at this. He'd never told his father about dance club, nor would his father know that Taehyung somehow plays a while part in all of this. "How did you..."
His father picked up his tablet, pressed a few buttons before throwing in on the table. Jeongguk picked it up and looked at it carefully. He swiped and swiped. Pictures of him smoking in the parking lot, drinking at their hangout, jumping through windows, vandalizing, they all came in a flash. Then there it was, a picture of Jeongguk and Taehyung at the campfire, then one of them kissing, and another of Jeongguk walking away.
"You had someone follow me?" Jeongguk yelled.
"Ever since I found about you joining dance club behind my back. I needed to know what could possibly be better than your tutoring sessions. Didn't seem like you were going to tell me."
"You had someone follow me?" Jeongguk yelled even louder.
"Watch your tone! I should be the one yelling at you! Doing all these stuff behind my back, messing around with someone of your gender of all people. Jeon Jeongguk, what do you think you're doing? "
"Living my life! Who are you to tell me not to?"
Mr. Jeon shook his head. "I'm your father."
"Oh really?" Jeongguk paused to laugh dryly. "Almost forgot. I think having to hire someone to follow after your son because you can't talk to him proves enough of your fathering abilities."
"Jeongguk, speak with respect."
The red-head fists tightened as his teeth clenched. He couldn't take it anymore. Even through all of this, his father hadn't even made the efforts in trying to defend himself. It's how it's always been. It's like he could only process the phrases he liked and threw any other into the trash.
"You don't deserve respect. You violated my privacy and now you're telling me I'm wrong. Sure, I smoke, and I drink, but what about dancing and kissing someone is wrong? You didn't even know that I had an interest in dance, you just always assumed that I just loved to handle your business and become an exact copy of you!"
"Je—" He stopped speaking when the tablet in Jeongguk's hand was thrown harshly on the ground, and the cracks were heard loud and clear.
"I'm not done speaking! All my life, all my goddamn life, I lived with this hatred for you, but I always thought that I was wrong for feeling so. You were my father and I was supposed to love you no matter what, Somi did. But why should I love someone who didn't love me? Don't even try give me any of that bullshit. You never loved mom or me! All you love is you, you, you! You selfish prick."
The man couldn't say a word. He was astonished that his son who was always so obedient when it came to him had such a voice. Words that he had trapped for so long were all just pouring out in one fluid motion.
"Do you even love Somi? Or do you only pretend love her because you wanted to make a point that you get what you want and went behind mom's back to be with your first love?"
"Jeongguk, that's enough. You're getting out of control. I'm sending you to Australia. You can finish your studies there with your uncle and officially get involved in the family business," his father said cutting in.
The red-head scoffed. "You still won't answer my questions. What am I, some kind of package for you to stick a stamp on and send off? I'm your son! How many times do I have to remind you?! God I'm so tired of you trying to control my life. I control my life! That's how it will be from now on!" The boy stormed off, ignoring whatever his father was saying behind him. As he reached the staircase, Somi was standing there in a frozen state, tears forming at the edge of her eyes. She too had heard the questions Jeongguk asked and how her father hadn't been able to answer a single one of them. All he needed to do was open his mouth and say he was wrong and loved his children very much, but he didn't.
"S-Somi... I—" Before he could finish his sentence, Somi ran back upstairs with sniffles, wiping at her eyes. Jeongguk groaned, kicking the staircase as hard as he could. He couldn't take it anymore. If he was in this house for another second, he'd explode. The red-head turned his path and went straight to the front door. Without even bothering to close the door, he ran as fast as he could, not allowing any time for his father to even think of chasing after him, not that he even would. Jeongguk didn't know where he was going, but he was sure of one thing. He was never going back to that house with his father.
—•
MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL 🎉
I'm not quite satisfied with this chap, buuuuuuuuut it's probs cuz I prefer writing fluff
I'm sorry, things will get better (eventually) for koo and tae
Bye<3