Chapter Forty: Always
A/N: I really need to tell you all that I appreciate you so, so much. I would never have had the motivation to keep writing if it weren't for you guys, and I'm so happy to have each and every one of you. I don't think I show you guys how much you all mean to me but then again, I don't think it would be possible. You have given me an escape from reality and while people say that can be a bad thing, it's not. Everyone needs one once in a while. I love you guys so, so much and I never want to disappoint you.
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Song of the chapter:
Home by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros (if you know me at all you know stuck in love is my all time favorite movie in the history of movies ever made on this universe ever and this song is in the opening ok)
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Her laugh was music to my ears, and her smile warmed my entire body from top to bottom. Every time I brought either of those things from her, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to do it again. Her entire presence lit up the restaurant.
"You know, I usually don't like going out and being all fancy," she began once we both finished our meals and payed.
I took a drink of my water and folded my arms on the table. "Oh, thanks," my tone was sarcastic and joking.
"No, no, you didn't let me finish!" she laughed, leaning forward as she did. She shyly looked down and traced her fingers along the chain of her necklace with the letter "N" on it. "I usually don't like to do this, but I'm having fun."
Shrugging, I rested my chin in the palm of my hand. "That's because you're with me."
"Shut up," she shook her head, looking down again.
As she did so, my eyes browsed over her for the millionth time that night. Her overall appearance was so normal and so was her attitude and mindset. In fact, I didn't think I had ever seen her better. She managed to be a whole new person, but still the same Natalie I fell in love with. The dim lighting in the restaurant presented her with a soft glow and shadows to define her features.
"We should probably get going, we don't want to be late," I finally said in an attempt to snap myself out of my trance. She was just so beautiful to me, I couldn't help it.
She tipped her head to the side and raised her eyebrow. "Late?"
I nodded and stood up, grabbing her hand. I pulled her along with me towards the exit of the restaurant. Her laughter behind me was enough to keep my energy up as we climbed into my car and began driving off. The windows were down, her dark blonde hair falling in front of her face. Her smile was enough to light up the entire town, as stupid as that sounded. But it was true. It was capable of making me feel so many things, and I was convinced that it could rip my heart right out of my chest.
I was okay with that.
"I wish you would just tell me where we're going," she stated, her head turning to me.
We were about ten minutes from the beach and there was no way I was going to crack at that point. "Would you relax? You have no reason to be stressing out over this."
She sighed and pursed her lips. I knew she wasn't annoyed or irritated, but she was trying to figure out where I was taking her. In response, I laughed and dropped a hand from the steering wheel, finding hers only to interlock our fingers. Her eyes trailed up to me-- I could feel them as my own focused on the fairly empty road ahead. To my surprise, she brought our hands up to her lips and rested them on the back of mine. I was overwhelmed with a state of comfort and satisfaction because I knew she did that for my sake.
On the remainder of the car ride she had her warm lips on the back of my hand and her sparkling eyes on the window beside her, and I knew she was okay.
"Don't be mad," she declared about three minutes later. When I looked over at her, her eyes were on the road.
I laughed. "About what?"
"I've known where we're going for the last twenty minutes."
"What?" I asked, surprised. "How do you know?"
She laughed and raised her eyebrow. "Why else would we be driving all the way out here?"
I twisted my lips to the side and sighed. "I knew I should have blindfolded you."
She just laughed harder, her head leaning into my shoulder. I couldn't possibly stay annoyed that she knew where we were going because of that laugh.
I'd do anything for it.
Moments later, we pulled down the road that lead to the beach. I parked my car on the side of the road and looked over at Natalie.
"Well I guess since the surprised is ruined," I started sarcastically.
She hit my arm and continued to laugh. "Stop it!"
I dramatically sighed and looked down. "I guess I better just take you home then since you know what I have planned. It's not worth it anymore."
"What if I act surprised? Will that make you feel better?" she inquired, knowing that I was faking it.
I nodded and grinned. "Much."
Immediately, she covered her eyes with her hands. "Alright, let's pretend my eyes were closed the whole way here. I really wish I knew where we were!"
I couldn't help but laugh and play along. "Just sit tight and keep your eyes closed. Be prepared for the best surprise ever!"
With that being said I jumped out of the car and scurried over to her side, then opened her door. I held onto her waist and lifted her out of her seat, then dropped her to her feet.
"How am I supposed to walk if I can't see?" she asked, her head looking up towards where she thought I was, but I was actually on the other side of her.
Moving so that I was directly beside her with her eyes still closed, my lips brushed against her ear. "You're not," I whispered, scooping her up in my arms quickly.
She squealed in response but didn't take her hands off of her eyes. I loved that even though she knew what the surprise was, she was acting as if she didn't. She was putting my consideration first.
"You don't have to carry me," she chuckled.
I nuzzled my nose into her ear as I walked towards the beach with her in my arms. "You act like you're a thousand pounds. I think I'm capable of holding you, princess."
My nose on her skin allowed me to feel her get warm from my words. She only grew warmer when I began kissing her skin over and over.
"Stop it," she laughed and removed her hands from her eyes, shyness in her tone.
"Stop what?" I asked, playing dumb. I brought my eyes to hers.
She looked down and bit her lip nervously, only fueling my determination to make her anxious. She was so cute when she was shy and vulnerable like that, sometimes I couldn't help it. So I continued kissing her skin playfully now and again, making sure to look where I was going so I didn't trip or fall or anything.
Once we reached the sand, I dropped her to her feet once again but continued to hold onto her, admiring what the evening sun was doing to her face. The breeze played with her hair and dress.
My god, she's perfect.
"What were you afraid of being late for?" she questioned, her hands slithering around my neck.
I licked my lips and tied my arms around her waist, pulling her as close to me as we could possibly be. "I didn't want to miss the sunset with you."
I remember she told me a story about her dad and how much he loved watching the sunsets and sunrises with her. It may not have seemed like an extraordinary, over-the-top idea to anyone else, but it was to her. And I knew it was because as soon as I said it, a flash of compassion ran through her eyes. She knew exactly why I did what I did and I knew she couldn't have been more thankful for my thought out idea.
"I love you," she blurted out in her soft voice.
My heart had to have skipped at least four beats when she said that. We both had implied our feelings for each other multiple times, but never were we so straight forward about them. It was such a new, foreign feeling. I, of course, loved Katherine once before. In fact, I still did. I loved her so much that it drove me crazy sometimes, but it was a different kind of love than what I had with Natalie. The love I had with her didn't have to be declared on a daily basis for us to know that we loved each other. It was one of those things we felt and knew just from that. The love we had was full of flaws and things that many people wouldn't understand, but it was the love between her and I that meant more than anything to me.
"I love you, too," I whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you so much. And that's why I do all of these things for you-- I do them because I love you, and I love seeing you laugh and smile and love life. I only want happiness for you, always."
There was a glossiness in her eyes, but she smiled through it. I could nearly feel the warmth and satisfaction radiate off of her body, and I knew I had finally convinced her. I convinced her that she could trust me, that I was going to take better care of her, and that I loved her. She knew all of those things right in that moment and it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.
She was about to lean in and kiss me, but I stopped her. "Wait a second. The sun is about to set."
I moved around her so that I was behind her, my hands remaining around her waist from behind. I rested my chin on her shoulder and brushed my nose against her neck. I watched her watch the sunset, not wanting to miss her reaction. I wanted to capture how incredibly flawless she was in my head as best as I could, and I knew that was the perfect moment to do so.
It was easy to see that she was a bit overwhelmed between me telling her that I loved her, the dinner, the sunset, and all of the other good things that came with the night. But I knew she was the happiest she had been in a very long time. And so was I.
* * *
"Did you have fun?" I asked as I stood outside of the front door of Natalie's house with her. It was nearing midnight and after watching the sunset, running around on the beach, and laying and talking with her, I figured it was about time to go home.
She stepped forward and rested her hands flat on my chest, inviting me to hold her hips in my hands. "I had a lot of fun."
"Good," I grinned. "Because it's not over yet."
Her head tipped to the side and her eyes looked puzzled.
"I want you to get into something really, really comfortable and meet me back at my house in about a half an hour to watch some movies, okay?" I proposed.
To my surprise, her face dropped and she looked to the side. "Justin, I don't know, I'm kind of tired."
I shook my head. "What's wrong? Why don't you want to spend the night with me anymore?"
"No, it's not you. I just-- I get really tired and I just want to go to sleep."
"Please?" I begged, pulling her body close to mine. I rested my forehead over hers and my eyes flooded into her own.
The look in her eyes showed her it was becoming harder and harder for her to say no, which was a good thing. I wanted her to give in and I wanted her to stay with me. I missed holding her at night. I didn't know if she needed it or not, but I did. I wanted to feel her near me and know that everything would be okay.
"I mean, I don't know--" she began, avoiding eye contact with me.
I then dipped my head, my face burying into her neck. I began to lightly kiss her skin, wishing she would give into me. Just this one time.
"Please?" I mumbled, my teeth scraping softly against her neck. Her body pressed into mine. "For me?"
"Justin," she breathed out when my tongue contacted her skin. "I just--" she stopped and drew in a sharp breath when my hands squeezed her. "Okay."
"Okay?" I whispered hopefully, knowing I had her. I moved my face back in front of hers, my eyes dazing into hers lovingly.
She smiled genuinely and nodded. "I'll be over in a little bit. Just let me shower and get changed."
The corners of my mouth lifted in response to her agreement. We hadn't spent the night together in about a week. I missed it so much and I knew a part of her did, too. I just didn't know why she didn't want to stay with me. I didn't believe the "I'm sick" bullshit for even a second.
"I love you," I declared for the second time that night. And before she could respond, I pressed my lips into hers. She kissed back immediately, her hands clutching the material of my shirt only to send a rush of coldness down my body.
I separated my lips from hers, nearly feeling numb from her kiss. The effect she had on me was one like no other.
"I love you, too," she smiled, that same happiness radiating off of her once again. "See you in a few, okay?"
I nodded and separated myself from her slowly, then turned around and started across the street. I only had about a half an hour before she would be back, so I had to finish setting up quickly. Typically I would have let her just take a shower at my house and wear my clothes, but I had to finish putting together my room for her. I used bed sheets and strings of lights and pillows to make my room look perfect for the two of us-- kind of like a fort.
And when I returned to my house, I went straight up the stairs and finished up. It needed to be perfect for her. Everything had to be. I was more than one hundred percent sure that she wouldn't care either way, but it was something I needed to do for myself. I wanted to prove to not only her, but myself that I was good enough for her and vise-versa.
It took me about twenty-five minutes to finish my room considering I had put everything out on my bed before the date so I would be prepared.
Quickly, I jumped in the shower and changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt. And once I was ready, I looked over at the clock that read 12:45 AM. She was a little late but I didn't care, it gave me more time to get things ready.
As I was situating some of the blankets on the floor, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I sighed and looked down at the setting I created, satisfaction filling me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, seeing Natalie's caller ID.
I smiled and held the phone to my ear. "Hey, you almost ready?"
"Justin," Mark's voice responded on the phone. I scrunched my eyebrows.
"Mark? What's up?"
"Justin, you need to get over here now," he demanded, sounding nervous and on edge. He sounded as if he was struggling with something.
My stomach turned and I didn't hesitate at all to run over and put my sneakers on, then head downstairs. "Is everything okay?"
Before he could answer, I heard hysterical crying in the background.
It was Natalie.
"No, just hurry up. Please!"
Immediately I hung up the phone, my heart thudding so hard in my chest that I thought it was going to explode as I ran across the street. I could barely breathe because I knew something was wrong and it was bad.
I pushed through the front door, my chest heaving up and down.
"Natalie, calm down," I heard Mark's voice upstairs, followed by a loud crash.
Hurriedly, my legs moved up the stairs two steps at a time. My mind was clouded and I didn't know what to expect. But I would find out in a moment.
I pushed open her bedroom door, my eyes landing on a scene I never wanted to see.
Mark stood close to the door, his hands up defensively. He had red stains on his blue button down shirt, looking like he had just come home from work. My eyes moved over to Natalie, and I swore I would never forget that moment for the rest of my life.
She was crying, still in her outfit from our date. Broken glass surrounded her on the floor. She had blood on her arm and that was when I noticed the deep cut she had most likely done on her own. In her trembling right hand, she clutched on to a piece of glass that was pressed tightly against her neck.
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A/N: GUYS I'm SORRY FOR THIS CHAPTER BYE YOULL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE WHY SHES FREAKIN
(PLS vote xoxo)