If this is the first book you've ever read that I've written then Welcome to my fictional world of emotional torture. I'm a wife, a Mom of 3 tiny terrors, 26 years old, evil, I love plot twists, and I update very frequently well I did before I had my 3rd child. For some reason 2 kids feels like 2 but 3 kids feels like 15. I digress. Enjoy.
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🚨 Trigger warning 🚨
This book contains description/talk of: stalking, rape, abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth, drugs, mental and physical abuse, murder. If any of those are triggers to read then please proceed with caution.
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Prologue
Around and around and around. The tip of my finger dances across the smooth rim of the shot glass, the liquid within it a golden brown. It's almost the same color as the shiny bar top it's placed on. My teeth dig into my lower lip and my eyebrows furrow as I stare into the glass of whiskey, my eyes searching it's depths as if it held the answers to all the questions in the universe, my mind miles away.
I take a deep inhale, the mixture of cigar and cigarette smoke in the building burning my lungs but I ignore it. I can practically taste the nicotine but the notes of oak from the whiskey on my tongue has my full attention. The bars busy, filled with noise that would normally make my ears ring. A jukebox playing in the corner, guys playing pool toward the back and a group of rowdy girls laughing at a nearby table but it all combines into a singular buzz that I can't decipher. Even with a shot of whiskey down I can't stop my thoughts as they wander right back to him. His dark green eyes, his sandy blonde hair and the cowlick he woke up with every morning. The freckle right by his upper lip that I had to taste every time I kissed him. The way my heart skipped a beat when he smiled.
"Nola, come on. Did we put our fuck me shoes on to make bad decisions and get drunk or did we come to sulk? Take the shots, have fun, and go screw that hot ass dude that keeps eyeballing you like you're the last Reese's peanut butter cup in the bag." Jade's voice is like a bucket of ice water, washing over me and effectively pulling me from my thoughts.
My eyes flick up to meet hers and I pull my hand away from the glass wishing I could dive head first into the bottle of whiskey and drown. My stomach flutters as I feel the 'hot ass dude's' eyes rolling across my body. He's definitely getting a good look with the skin tight dress I'm wearing, it leaves very little to the imagination just as I wanted it to. I got dressed adamant I would come have a good time, maybe even get laid and finally get over my ex, now I'm missing my sweats.
I feel his eyes brush up my legs as of it were the tips of his fingers, dance against my inner thighs as if it were his breath. I feel it so well I have to cross my legs and shift on the stool. I glance over at him just to make sure he's still seated at the table with a couple guys just as he had been a few minutes before I zoned out.
He is.
Our eyes meet and I quickly look away, my fingers grip the shot glass I'd gotten lost in and I quickly toss it back. I chase it with Jade's beer and then repeat the process with the second shot. Even with the warmth of the alcohol in my body my heart still aches. Its so hard to keep the tears at bay. Why do I still miss him?
"Damn it, stop!" Jade growls at me before flagging the bartender down and requesting two more identical shots. "Look at me!" She demands.
I meet her light hazel eyes reluctantly, my lower lip starting to wobble with heavy emotion that I'm trying my best to fight. The sharp sting of hurt still wrapped tightly around my heart in a vice grip. It feels like there's a dumbbell laying on my chest and it takes everything in me to just breath.
"You are Nolani fucking Michaels. You are hotter than fire, half of the world wants to be you and the other half wants to fuck you. You could have any guy you want! You will not let a guy like Clint Donovan make you feel sad." I flinch at the sound of his name but that doesn't stop her rant. "That scumbag should've been kneeling at your feet anytime you graced him with your presence! Don't you dare shed one more tear over him and I mean it. Now let's try this again, we're going to take these shots and have a damn good time. Hell we might even make a few mistakes along the way but what's life without screwing up every now and then?"
I want to just shake off what I'm feeling and move on but it's so hard. Clint and I were together for two years, engaged for two months and he broke up with me out of no where. I came home from finishing a shoot in Miami and he blindsided me by saying things were moving too fast for him and he needed a break. He's the one that proposed! He's the one that wanted us to move in together just a few months into our relationship! My nails dig into my palm bringing me back to the present so I don't dive further into the pit of self pity I've dug. I'm honestly pretty tired of living there.
I sigh and grab the shot, clinking the glass against hers. "Okay." I nod, determined to at least forget about him for the night.
We toss the shots back and chase it with Jade's beer just as I previously had. My stomach grows warm and I can feel myself slowly starting to relax. It's been a long time since I've drank more than a few sips of champagne. Whiskey probably isn't the best idea but Jade's right, screw it let's get drunk.
I shoot Jade a small smile and she claps in victory. "Hell yes, that's what I'm talking about! Bartender two more shots for me and my gorgeous friend here."
"Make it three and put it on my tab, Rocks." A deep voice says to my left.
"You got it boss." The bartender nods.
I slowly turn toward the voice, meeting the amber eyes of the 'hot ass Dude' as Jade dubbed him. I have to admit her assessment was pretty spot on as mister tall dark and handsome gives me a smile. His dark hair is longer than what I usually like, brushing his jaw in thick dark waves. He's got a nice sharp jaw covered in scruff and even in my heels he's taller than I am. He's dressed in a tailored suit, Armani at the looks of it, which is pretty odd considering we're in a seedy bar at the edge of the city. I just didn't know where else to go, all of my usual spots Clint knows about and I just can't chance a run in with him right now. Plus the odds of the paparazzi being out here in the middle of no where is exceptionally slim.
Rocks, the bartender, slides the glasses to us and with the thoughts of Clint still bouncing around my mind I grab both mine and his and throw them back. God I'm definitely going to regret this in the morning. I haven't been drunk since I was sixteen and still sneaking into college parties.
A deep chuckle pulls my eyes back to the mystery man. "Chasing away demons with that whiskey, huh?" He asks, an accent I can't place making me forget why I was even sad in the first place.
My body feels light and weightless, a smirk tugging at my lips. "Isn't that what it's made for?"
"You're right about that, bellissima." He agrees before signaling the bartender and Rocks slides the mystery man another shot. This one I let him drink, which he does and I try not to stare too hard as his Adam's apple bobs when he swallows. He sits the now empty glass down before meeting my gaze. The alcohol in my system doubled with his stare has me feeling lightheaded. "What's your name?" He asks, his amber eyes burning a trail up my mile long legs.
(Bellissima: gorgeous)
I thought I could feel his gaze when he was sitting a few feet away but it's nothing compared to having it on me this close. My body feels so warm I have the urge to fan myself and I fight it hard. I take a deep breath trying to calm my body's reaction to this stranger but it's a mistake. His cologne fills my senses and all it does is make me want to be closer to him, with the way he's eyeing me I don't think he'd mind.
My lips curl up into a smile. "Nolani but my friends call me Nola. Yours?"
He pauses a moment and then finally replies. "Rafael, but you can call me Raf."
"It's nice to meet you, Raf." I reply, testing the name out on my tongue and deciding immediately that I like it.
His lips quirk. "I have a feeling the pleasure will be all mine, Nola."
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(Nolani: No-lawn-ee. Nola: No-luh)
Hello my little darlings, oh how I've missed you. For those that don't know I unpublished Dawson's book for now because my heart was no longer into it. I just need a break from the broken series gang but that doesn't mean it'll be gone forever. I actually started writing Ryan years before I ever uploaded it (I had stopped writing it and then one day I just randomly went back and it wrote itself in my head), so doing this isn't uncommon for me and I'm confident one day I'll go back and rewrite it along with Sawyer and Kelis' story. I should've made sure I had it planned out more than I did before posting it but sometimes I'm impulsive.
If you've read my other books you're probably thinking ummm Rafael? shit.🙈
I'm not done planning chapters out but I couldn't keep this prologue to myself any longer. I can't wait to make you guys fall in love and break your hearts with these characters.
All chapters posted will be unedited because I can't be bothered to edit them 😂 maybe one day. I'll post an announcement on my message board when I'm done outlining the book with a date for Chapter 1. I can't wait 😊
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Love youu🖤🖤
— Katy