Songs - dead inside (interlude) XXXTENTACION
Come alive - Bexey
Past the castle walls - lil peep & lil Tracy
Cut myself - lil peep
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I leaned against the wall and slowly slid down. I felt the tears come down my cheeks already. I had tried calling Jake at least six times. In the end I decided to text Colby.
*Text*
Lilly-pad 🐸: Colby please help
Colbster 🙄: what's wrong?
Lilly-pad 🐸: my ex came over tried talking to me and Jake saw him kiss me.
Colbster 🙄 is typing
Colbster 🙄: so you didn't want him to kiss you?
Lilly-pad 🐸: no of course not
I told him to leave as soon as he came
Colby I hate him
I would never do that to Jake
Ever
Colbster 🙄: I believe you Lilly but Jake has been hurt before it's going to take a minute to make him realize that
I have to go. Everything will be okay.
*End text*
I sighed and wrapped my hands around my knees. Why is whenever I find someone or something good for me it gets ruined? This shit is getting old.
I let out a sob as I stood up. I feel like our whole friendship was ruined now.
Jake -
I saw the guy grab her waist and kiss her. I turned around and started walking away. I got back down to the parking lot and stood by my car for a second. I saw the guy that kissed Lilly come out of the apartment building. I walked up to him and asked "hey were you seeing lilly?"
"Yeah, why?". Without thinking I hit him. He fell and looked up at me. I shook my head and walked back towards my car.
I got in and drove off not going anywhere in particular. I turned on some music and got lost in thought. I hated him. It wasn't too long before I was stopped at a light. I took a moment to take a breath. I realized I had been crying. I was so broken up over her. We're not even dating, technically.
The light turned green and I quickly sped off.
My phone started ringing a little later. I looked at the caller ID. It was Colby.
"Hey jake." He sounded like her was crying.
"What's wrong Colby?" I asked
"G-get to the hospital"
"What why?"
"JAKE JUST GET TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL" I'd never heard Colby like this. It sounded like he was breaking down.
"I-ill be there soon"
When I got to the hospital everyone was there and crying. Devyn, Colby, Aaron, David, Scotty, Elton, Kat, Sam, and even Brennen.
"Why?" I asked. Devyn whimpered and pointed to the EMTs bringing someone in. I was in shock when I realized who it was. This was all my fault. All my fucking fault. My best friend, who I was practically in love with was bring brought in by EMTs looking half dead. She had cuts down he wrist and thighs. They were deep. Deep enough to see the muscle and veins.
She looked pale. I couldn't tell if she was breathing or not. I couldn't look away. In a disgusting way she looked peaceful. I hated how she looked like that. I felt myself give out a sob. I realized this might be the last time I saw her.
I let out even more sobs and tears until eventually someone took me outside. It was Devyn. I sat down against the concrete wall and put my hood down. I could see the teardrops fall but I couldn't do anything about it. I felt nothing. But in an odd way I felt everything. I looked up at Devyn and saw she was crying to. I reached up and gave her hand a little squeeze.
"I'll be okay out here if you want to go back upstairs"
"Okay" she said her voice cracking. I gave a small smile and watched as she went inside.
I couldn't stop thinking about how Lilly looked while laying there. The image haunting me. I shuttered and broke down even more. I must have been sitting outside for at least thirty minutes. I was singing ever so quietly to myself.
Sorry for any mistakes.