It's December and I'm experiencing what I like to call engagement bliss.
It's a very cold winter so far so Holt and I stay cooped up inside a lot of the time, just snuggling on the couch wrapped in fuzzy blankets.
I'm really happy.
We've started to talk about dates for the wedding. We're not the kind of people that just get engage and don't do anything about it apparently. We're both ready.
We thought in May because that's when we started to date, but that's either too soon if it's the one coming up, or too late if we do it next year. We're talking about September now. It's more doable and well... it all started out in September, so it would only make sense for it to happen then.
We both get so giddy talking about it. I never really thought about my wedding and Holt either, so we've got no set plans in our heads that we don't want to give up on. We're both just having fun pitching ideas. We're both agreeing that Eloise should totally officiate the wedding.
I'm just so happy.
I've stopped stressing about the documentary too. I know what I have to say now. Walls have a purpose and sometimes you need them. It's okay to protect yourself, but it's also wrong to stop looking at what's on the other side of it because you feel safe inside. When we feel scared we build walls around our home, around our heart, because we think that to protect something we need to enclose it. It's short sighted to think that a wall can resolve all of your problems, and ultimately, it's a lazy move.
This is what I'm going to say. I haven't found the perfect words to express this yet, but I'm getting there. At least I'm not worried anymore.
Even if this documentary fails it will be okay, because it's something I've done with the man I love. What other people think of it doesn't matter. As long as Holt loves it, I'll be happy. And if there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that anything I do, Holt is a little biased about it.
So, I'm just happy.