The Holt Conundrum

sixth september

It's September and I severely underestimated how much of a distraction Holt was going to be.

I'm trying to cook dinner and he just comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, resting his chin comfortably on top of my shoulder.

"What are you dooooooooing?" he asks and plants a kiss on my neck.

"Contemplating all of my life choices," I tell him, and I've forgotten what it was I was cooking.

"I like your life choices so far," Holt drawls and kisses my neck again and nuzzles it, squeezing me tighter in his arms.

"My life choices need to leave me alone if we want to eat," I tell him laughing, and swat his hand.

Still nuzzling, still kissing, "I don't really care honestly, we can get take out. If cooking gets in the way of my hugs, I don't want you to cook anymore."

I'm laughing, but I'm kinda turned on too. And by kinda turned on, I mean sweet lord baby Jesus please bathe this thirsty hoe in holy water. "Oh how needy you are."

"And you love it."

"Yeah, I really, really do."

It's not just when I cook dinner though. It's all the time.

I'm sitting at my desk in a corner in the living room trying to get some writing done for an article for the web newspaper and Holt just drags the recliner a couple of feet from my chair and he'll rest a foot on my thigh, and he'll read a book or something. Other times he just stares at me and that's just the best and the worst.

"Smooches, stop looking at me," I say, keeping my eyes fixed on my computer.

I can feel his grin beside me. "Why? Is my gaze distracting you? Am I disturbing your train of thought?" he asks, nudging me with his foot.

I throw my head back and whine. "You're taking waaaaaay too much pleasure in teasing me lately."

Holt laughs. He's always happy lately. And nothing makes me happier than that. "You think I'm adorable."

I can't help it, I'm smiling too. "I do. But I also need to work."

"We need an actual office," Holt suddenly says. "We should turn my room into one. Maybe make my closet into a darkroom so I could develop my pictures."

"Oh, so you want to go right back in the closet?"

"Shut up," my little Smooches answers with a snort. And then he adds a little contemplatively, "I guess I'll need to officially come out at one point... Tell people that I'm not really straight."

I turn my chair away form my desk and towards Holt. This is important. "You know, when I think about coming out, I always think about what my father said when I did."

"What?"

"He's was all Did your sister ever need to tell us she likes boys? Then why would you need to? You don't need to start shouting it everywhere. You can if that's what you want, but you don't need to. Your sexuality is your business Smooches, not anyone elses."

"It's a little bit your business though," Holt says, while I start rubbing the arch of his foot that's resting on my thigh.

"Just because I am being gloriously blessed with your love," I agree.

"Anyway, I still think we should change my room into an office."

It is a good idea, but I don't want him to feel like he doesn't have a place of his own in the apartment anymore. "Don't you want to keep your bed? If you ever get tired of me?"

He snorts. "Yeah right, like I could even sleep without you beside me, Boo."

"Alright, we can go to IKEA this weekend and go buy furniture to make ourselves a nice office," I say getting up. It's not use, no work is going to get done today.

"And then I can build all the furniture without the instructions," Holt says with a wicked little grin, looking up at me.

"You really need to stop talking dirty to me when I'm trying to work," I tell him before pressing my lips against his.

Holt laughs, wraps his arms around me and kisses me back.