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Jokes are only funny when there's no feeling attached.
"N-No." You froze. Your eyes were on locked down, the vulnerability obvious. With another, you send out and said, "no."
"No what?" Mr. Kim tilted his head to the side, consuming your words with his eyes.
"No, he doesn't look deep into my eyes when we make love."
Your eyes started to water a bit, the tears wouldn't stop leaking. Your eyes drip with tears.
The pent-up frustration, the defeat that holds you up, everything inside, just...collapse. "I'm sorry-"
Moment by moment, they fall. Salty drops fall from your chin, drenching your blouse. You're trembling. You can't stop. Even as you press your hand against your face to stop the running tears, your hands, it quivers, it clutches.
"I-I." It's raw, everything, raw tears, raw emotions. You can't stop... You can't stop. Why can you not stop crying? "I-I try to enjoy Mr. Kim, I really do. I just- how can I when he can't even say I love you in the middle of something so intimate. Is there something wrong with me?" You continue to cry as you felt a hand on your shoulder.
You looked at Mr. Kim, tissues in his hand. You took them and wiped under your eyes to not mess up the already ruined eyeliner. "I can't believe I'm crying over something so stupid."
"No, it's okay to cry. It's a normal reaction, Mrs. Park." Mr. Kim walked back to his desk, leaning back on the edge of the desk. His eyes were serious. He nudged his glasses up his bridge, lamenting. "Mrs. Park it seems you have a lot of frustration pent up, there are so many things built up. You're not only denied attention from your husband, but you are sexually frustrated. Do you know that frustration can lead to stress Mrs. Park? It eventually leads to situations such as these, it isn't healthy." He paused, clearing his throat, writing down on the clipboard.
"Oh, you are going to be a doozie." He mumbled. He looked back at you, drawing a soft smile. "I'm going to recommend you something okay?"
"Okay." You nod, wiping under your eye some more. You were smiling a little, a smile with a twist to it, like the smile of a child who is determined not to weep.
"I want you to imagine."
"Imagine?"
"Yes, close your eyes right now." He walked closer to you, kneeling in front of you to where you were face to face. "Close those beautiful hazel eyes."
You stared into his eyes for a second, stun from his soft words, you closed your eyes, an unsure exhalation escaped your lips.
"Deep breath."
You nod, inhaling air into your chest and exhaling all the toxic.
You could hear him chuckle, his hands leading around yours. "First picture your husband home, his arms surrounding your body on the soft, firm sofa, what are you two doing?"
Your mouth twitched. You were sure you were fighting a smile. The thought of how it use to be lingering in your head. "We're cuddling, watching Friends for the fourth-hundred time."
"Ooh, Friends, you like Friends? I have this friend who loves the show so much he learned English by rewatching it." Mr. Kim chuckled and clasped down your hand. "What else are you guys doing, what is he saying to you?"
"I-I don't know." You deeply sigh, trying to focus greatly on the vision. "He's saying I love you while loving my cheek softly." You let go of one of Dr. Kim's hands and caress your cheeks tenderly. It's cold to the touch but warms up when your body generates heat. He nods and watches your body get assent into your lucid dream. "There you go, how does his hand feel on your cheek?"
"Soft, strong." You smile, a frail snicker glides from your lips.
"Now what is he doing?"
You paused, what is he doing? He stops there all the time. "....Nothing."
"Think, use your imagination."
"I can't." Immediately your smile died faster than wisps of smoke dissipated after a candle flame has been snuffed out. "Mrs. Park, listen to me. This is YOUR imaginations, I need you to focus."
"I really can't. I can't picture it, he doesn't do anything else...it's not exciting."
"Mrs. Park, what do YOU want him to do?" Kim stares, that's all he does, stare at the troubled young women who is query of her sexual appetite. You. Staring is the only thing that keeps his brain quick, giving observations to you by which to assign dialogue and attraction. You were a captivating client of his. You were different from the rest, your body had rung a bell in him. The way your black hair jetted down to your half-exposed chest, the way your skirt rose just above your upper thigh, how he could smell the pickled cherry blossom scent from you.
And those plump lips.
They looked creamy as if they would taste of vanilla ice cream.
You enticed him.
You're not aware of it, but he continues to stare at your body, living his own vision. "Mrs. Park I want you to tell me your inner fantasy, tell me what you imagine." You are caught off guard from the bluntness as you fluttered your eyes open. "Dr. Kim, I d-don't think-"
"Mrs. Park, shush, close your eyes. I promise you that this will help you, tell me, what do you want your husband to do to you?" It goes quiet in the room for a second as you sit and clear your thoughts. What do you want your husband to do to you? That question rings your bells, let it loose Chan-ri, everything. If you don't say anything nothing will change.
Your throat feels dry, but your lips part.
"I-I want him to kiss me, deeply. I want his lips to submerge mines, kiss me like the world is about to end like he's deprived of me." You pause with this sudden shudder from your body.
"His tongue exploring my mouth..." You gulp down from the abrupt nerves chocking you.
You let go of Dr. Kim's other hand and trace your index finger down your collar. He watches you shiver. "I want him to kiss me on my neck...marking me as his own. I wanna be his baby." The therapist watches your fingers glide down. Softy, a moan escapes your lips when your light touch shocks you.
Dr. Kim clears his throat, loosing his suffocating tie. There is no doubt that surprised him. As a gentleman, man coming before gentle, that turned him on, but he kept it calm.
He's a therapist, this was apart of his job.
She is his client, that thought is against the law.
"W-What else do you want?" The baritone in his voice stumbled.
"My b-breast."
"What about your breast?" Immediately Dr. Kim's eyes travel from your face to your collarbone, delicate, then to your breasts. Your milky breasts spilled out of your blouse just enough to vision the rest. "I want him to s-suck them..."
"It turns you on?"
"Y-Yes." You mutter.
"..." An electrical charge was building at a place from which he knew it must be discharged. Taehyung stood up, adjusting his tie as he cleared the knot in his throat. "Mrs. Park, open your eyes."
"Huh?" You fluttered your eyes open. Your eyes lead up to the towering figure over you. His eyes were fixed on you. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared you down, atom to atom.
"Mrs. Park I need to know- have you had a orgasms with your husband?"
"...no."
"Do you masturbate regularly?"
"No...once in a while. I just don't get the urge."
"I can tell, your reactions are as if you haven't been touched at all."
"T-That's what I been telling you." You paused. "He just pleases himself and keeps it moving."
"You need to please yourself too. How do you expect him to please you when your only learning about yourself."
"I shouldn't have to-"
You were interrupted. "-Mrs. Park can you do me a favor?" He turned around and reached for a piece a paper. He wrote on the desk and then walked back to you, dangling a ripped piece of paper.
"What's this?"
"This is my private office address. Sunday, I want you to come over, you need real help."
"Real help?"
"Yes, you need my help."
Author Notes- Oooh, Dr. Kim is about to go in. Watch out, next chapter coming up soon~