EMMA
I COLLAPSED on the mat with a moan, my arms burning from the push-ups. Miles was still going strong and didn't even need to put his knees on the ground. I used to think it was stupid for him to do the exercises with me, but it helped me beat the laziness.
"Thirty-six... Thirty-seven..." He dropped a leg and exhaled, then stood on his haunches.
Hell, I could only do fifteen half-assed.
"Wow," I said, sweat beading on my forehead. Gross. "That's a lot."
"You're not too bad yourself."
I sat up, every inch of my body protesting like it was a crime. Miles had been regularly monitoring my routine several times a week. Before push-ups, he made me jog for twenty minutes before plyometrics. Nothing changed much since I started except the number of showers I had to take.
"You're kidding me, right?" I panted on a short laugh.
He wiped his hands on a rag from the floor. "You did eleven, the first time. I call that improvement. And you actually toughed through the entire training."
I usually never succeeded until the end. Today, I thought he'd just shortened our time so I could adjust more. I probably could have been better before the attack. After being bed-ridden for so long, I knew my limbs had weakened considerably. I reached for my water bottle and downed half of it. My face must look super red.
We called for a break and took the stairs to the kitchen. Mr. Spencer sat in the living room, paging through a journal and sipping a coffee. Miles threw me a snack bar, and I managed to catch it for once. He never warned me about those things, saying it was to improve my reflexes.
"Nice." He smiled, then grabbed a banana and began unpeeling it.
I hopped on a high stool, my feet dangling off the floor. My muscles were tired and aching—I made the dumb decision to not stretch two days ago after the training—and it regretted it now. I somehow appreciated the sense of clarity that came after exhausting myself, though.
While I jumped, ran and squatted all over the place, my mind was blessedly empty. The effect lingered for a while. I felt more... rooted in reality and... awake.
Mostly, I did something good about my mess.
Miles and I talked about school and anything unrelated to hunting. He liked to see pictures on my phone of garments I'd created since mom introduced me to needles, threads and sewing machines. I'd immediately devoured magazines to try and mimic the styles that spoke to me. All those bright colors and the variety of fabrics were fascinating. One choice or shade changed the outcome and the possibilities were endless.
"I made that dress for my fourteenth birthday," I recounted as he examined a flowy spring frock. "I jumped on every opportunity to make stuff up. This was Adam's suit for when he received an award in soccer last year. I altered this one for Homecoming, Riley's dress. It didn't fit her well in some places, so I figured I could change the hem, add some lace and cinch it while I was at it..." My thumb stilled over the screen and I zoomed back, feeling suddenly shy. A blue feeling swallowed me as I stared at Riley's smiling face. "Sorry, I know I'm blabbering."
Miles gazed at me. "No, I like it when you blabber. I could listen to this way longer than you'd know. I'm learning a lot, here!"
I laughed, and the sound felt strange. "For your information, I haven't caught you committing any major fashion crimes yet."
"Thank the Lord." He put a hand over his heart in relief. "You won't kick my ass."
A mild bitterness washed over me as I stared again at Riley's picture. We didn't talk much anymore, and I missed her. In the short time I'd known the girl, we'd been good friends. She'd stayed at the bonfire to find me, and she was the reason I was still alive along with Devin.
No one fully understood why I distanced myself from everyone, and maybe I didn't get it either. Deep down, I felt so ashamed of my weaknesses, of how easily I cowered and burst into tears.
How could I act like nothing happened? Being around my friends and having to stand their worried looks was a new torture that plagued the moments whenever I saw them. I didn't want to be a party pooper or burden them with my attitude. I'd try to chime in and sit at the table, but my mood visibly darkened the atmosphere.
With Miles, it was different. I wasn't treated like a broken toy. Sure, he challenged me in a way no one ever did, but he was helping me.
"Not that I could even if I tried," I replied, closing my phone.
"One day, you could." Miles winked, and I shook my head at how ridiculous it looked.
He finished his banana and tossed the peel in the trash.
"You know, my Dad and I know a couple of guys in Oldbridge where they're working on a reported animal attack," he added, "and they're planning on catching something tonight."
Oldbridge was a couple of miles further from Huntington, up north. "You want me to come?"
"Well, only if you want. I think it might be good if you could watch from the sidelines and get an idea. It's okay if you're not ready, though. I know it's far from easy seeing a Wanderer again after the first time."
I gazed down at my fingers, an icky feeling traveling down my spine. The idea of being close to one of them didn't appeal to me at all. In fact, it made me want to run in the other direction.
I could seize the occasion and conquer this fear tonight or ask for more time. "I-I don't know..."
"It's how you feel it," Miles told me, and there was no morsel of disappointment. "There's nothing wrong with needing more time to prepare."
I could act like the pathetic, scared little Emma or move forward. I continued staring at my fingers, my eyes trailing over the nail indents in my palms. It was at a point where I hurt myself in my sleep during nightmares. I should consider cutting my nails short, but the pain was beneficial to ground me.
Why wait longer for the next step? I would never feel ready. Might as well make the jump now.
"No, I'll go with you," I decided, lifting my head.
➹➹➹
Emma's slowly turning into a lil' baddie! XD Fun fact, my inspiration for this character was Lydia Martin from Teen Wolf. She's fab. Whether Emma's making the right choice or not, it's pretty brave of her to take her issues head on.
Also, notice how both Riley and Emma start their own training despite seeming to take different sides? Even though their opinions diverge, they strangely follow similar paths and there will be other similarities later on :)